Epilogue

T'Pol stood outside Captain Archer's ready room and paused a second before entering.

Archer's strangled "come" sounded strange even for a human, but a bit familiar to her sensitive hearing.

If anything, the Vulcan's posture became even straighter as if she was steeling herself for what was to come.

"Another newsletter request, Captain?" T'Pol asked calmly, watching him bang his head hard on the desk. She made a mental note to herself to requisition bumper guards for Archer.

"I have a headache," Archer said simply, banging his head a couple more times for good measure. He laughed at the look T'Pol gave him and answered her question.

"No, not that, thank god," he said, then frowned as he looked at the communique in front of him. "Let's just say the newsletter is again a thing of the past."

T'Pol walked slowly over to the chair facing opposite a red-faced Archer.

"Hoshi's offering was a dismal failure," he added.

T'Pol's right eyebrow made a slight jump.

"Starfleet was not pleased?" she asked. "The stated goal was to improve morale. By my calculations, productivity increased 2.5 percent and visits to sickbay decreased 3.76 percent after the newsletter was posted."

Archer nodded his head yes, then immediately switched to no, causing him to wince slightly at the pain both motions caused.

"It didn't please the most important person, Admiral Tarken," he mumbled. "Apparently it wasn't 'dignified' enough to represent Starfleet.

"But then how could a picture of a captain peeing on a carpet in his youth be considered 'dignified," Archer asked ruefully, "or a Starfleet-wide publication being written by a dog?"

This time, T'Pol's left eyebrow shot up.

"To be honest, Captain, Porthos is the first dog to be on Starfleet's first warp-five starship," she argued. "And he does belong to Earth's first warp-five starship captain."

The look Archer shot T'Pol was deadly.

"YOU can say that," he said accusingly. "And how did you and Phlox manage to get the only non-embarrassing photos in the newsletter?"

That earned Archer the double eyebrow raise.

"One must do an embarrassing act before one can have a picture taken of it," she said calmly.

Archer looked on disbelievingly.

"One must also be willing to assist the author of the newsletter instead of impeding her completion of the requested assignment," T'Pol finished.

The captain gave his science officer a weak smile.

"Don't look so smug, Sub-commander," he said. "Admiral Tarken has a new idea."

If a Vulcan could look worried, T'Pol did. Again.

"Seems to be he has read about an idea to reward the crew for its efforts and create healthy competition, something called certificates..."

*****