YEEHAW! Just managed to find out the names of the other members of the Sports Car Patrol! They are Hyperdrive, Detour and Road Hugger. Whenever I get the chance I'll edit the last chapter to this effect.

Chapter 4: Waiting for Clod (Issue #57)

Megatron's secret base, Cybertron…

Ratchet: No…no, this can't be! YOU'RE DEAD!

Megatron: Yes, but today Ratchet is the day…THE DEAD WALKED!

Megatron starts to strut his funky stuff.

Ratchet: AAAGH! THE DEAD DO NOT DANCE!

Ratchet picks up his machete and leaps at Megatron.

Ratchet: BANZAI!

Megatron: Whoa!

*****

A few minutes ago, on Earth…

The scene is thus: The Decepticon Air Strike Patrol (another group of Micromasters and going by the names of Storm Cloud, Whisper, Nightflight and Tailwind) has overrun a human airbase in order to steal the B-204 refueling plane. Optimus Prime has lead a strike force consisting of Hot Rod, Landmine, Highbrow, Cloudburst, Getaway, Brainstorm and Blurr to Earth in order to stop them. As always, the 'Cons have taken hostages.

Prime: I will say this only once more Decepticons. Surrender or face the consequences.

Tailwind: And I'll say THIS only once more Prime! Stick your surrender where the sun don't shine! You're not going to risk a firefight with all these humans around and you know it!

Prime: Who said anything about a firefight?

Storm Cloud: Eh?

Prime suddenly goes berserk, smashing the Air Strike Patrol into tiny pieces in ten seconds flat.

Hot Rod: Huh. That was easy.

A roar is heard from above. The Autobots crane their necks upward to discover a Decepticon troop carrier hovering overhead.

Hot Rod: …or not.

The carrier lands and opens its hatch, whereupon Scorponok and his team consisting of Mindwipe, Weirdwolf, Bomb-Burst, Skullgrin, Igunaus, Triggerhappy and Soundwave walk out to face the Autobots.

Scorponok: Scorponok is-

Prime: Autobots, FIRE!

Scorponok: Huh?!? This isn't supposed t-

BLAM BLAM BLAM!

*****

Megs' Secret Hideout of Doom, Cybertron…

Megatron is getting the last of his machete wounds sealed by Ratchet, who has the fusion cannon aimed at his head to ensure no funny business.

Ratchet: So where on Cybertron are we exactly?

Megatron: We are in my incredibly top secret, super stealthy stronghold! BEHOLD!

With a vocal command, Megatron activates the external cameras to show off his base. We can see that it's a giant, difficult-not-to-spot-even-if-you're-blind spire with spikes all around the sides and a huge Decepticon symbol on the front.

Ratchet: Hmm…a 600-foot tower in the most visible part of the planet with an equally large Decepticon symbol plastered above the entrance. Oh yeah, I can practically FEEL the stealthyness of this place.

Megatron: Laugh while you can Captain Snark. Now I shall tell you how I survived the Great Space Bridge Explosion!

Ratchet: Do you have to?

Megatron: Many have perceived my actions that day as being that of a deranged mechanoid but I tell you now Ratchet my mind was perfectly clear that day…

Flashback – a few months ago on Earth

Megatron: I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN! BWAAAAAAAAA!

Megatron continues to fire at the support struts until they finally give in under the onslaught and collapses the Space Bridge, seemingly taking Megatron with it.

Megatron (VO): Unfortunately, I had misjudged the velocity I would be moving at when I reemerged on Cybertron…

We now see Megatron shoot out of the portal with the speed of a surface to air missile, causing him to demolish several buildings on impact.

Megatron (VO): Months passed before my internal systems repaired my shattered body enough to allow me to walk around. My mind however remained muddled, condemning me to wander around the Dead End, the home of broken down mechanoids.

Ratchet (VO): The Dead End? Where's that?

Megatron (VO): Just around the corner from the Iacon Pick 'N Mix. Anyway, the empties there thought of me as just another mechanoid…

Megatron, still suffering the wounds he attained from his fight with the Predacons (Half his face ripped off, various open wounds, the worst on his left arm), approaches three broken down mechanoids.

Megatron: Huk-ka…ka…I-I am Mer-Megatron…

Mechanoid 1: Hic! Yep, and I'm Lord Straxus.

Megatron: Uh, no really…I am Megatron.

Mechanoid 2: Yep, and I'm Shockwave.

Megatron: For the love of…! Look, I've got a fusion cannon, I have this bizarre bucket shaped helmet and I'm about four feet taller than anyone here! Who the slag else could I be? I AM MEGATRON!

Mechanoid 3: Yep, and I'm Simon Furman.

Megatron: BWAAAAA!

BAM! BIFF! POW! BOOM!

Megatron walks away from the wreckage of the three mechanoids, mumbling incoherently to himself.

Mechanoid 2: Looks like SOMEBODY got out on the wrong side of the recharge bed this morning…

Megatron (VO): And so it continued, until one day I came across Blackjack cornered by two Autobots…

Blackjack: By the many curvaceous models in Playboy! MEGATRON!

Megatron: Moo?

Megatron (VO): His call partially brought out of my latest delusion that I was a cow in Devon but it was the sight of that hated insignia that brought me back to reality…

Megatron: By the Golden Spires! JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES!

Autobots: Eh?

Megatron (VO): After blowing them sky high and Blackjack explaining that they were in fact Autobots he lead me out of the Dead End. The rest, as they say, is history.

Hyperdrive: Boss? Darkwing and Dreadwind have arrived with their cargo.

Megatron: Excellent! Come and meet your patient Ratchet and keep in mind that I only need contact Blackjack on the Ark to send blow your deactivated comrades to atoms.

Ratchet: Hmm…

As they leave the lab Ratchet's gaze switches from the Pretender shell Megatron has built for this solider of his to the three prototype shells in the corner of the room to Goldbug, Jazz and Grimlock lying deactivated on the ground. With a thoughtful smile he makes his way to the next room, where a smoke bomb is set off, blinding everyone present.

Voice: I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!

Detour: Oh no not again…

Voice: I AM THE REFEREE THAT BLOWS FOR FULL TIME THREE MINUTES EARLY!

The smoke clears to reveal Darkwing in a dramatic pose. Dreadwind is standing next to him looking slightly bemused.

Darkwing: I AM DARKWIIIIIIIIIING DECEPTICON!

Megatron: Oh quiet down you rube! Do you have him?

Dreadwind: Yep! Here ya go!

Dreadwind hands Megatron what at first appears to be a mess of wires and shards of red, blue and white metal. Ratchet looks on for a moment before realizing who it is.

Ratchet: You've gotta be kidding me! Him?!? Of all the Decepticons, you've chosen to resurrect him?!? You truly are insane!

Megatron: Ah, you confuse madness with genius Ratchet. Do you not appreciate the supreme irony of using my traitorous ex-lieutenant Starscream as my instrument of revenge? Hmm, can you? Isn't it ironic?

Ratchet (sighing): Yes Megatron, EVERYTHING'S ironic…

To be continued…