Final UPDATE: I have reposted yet again due to my depression- induced
removal of the story a little while back. Now this is the first
installment after an introduction, and I hope you enjoy! Thank you all so
much for having patience and love!
UPDATE: OK. I admit it, I have re-posted this fic in order to receive more reviews from all those RK fans who didn't see my fic when it first came out, and then subsequently got buried under all the hundreds of other Rurouni Kenshin humor stories, which I encourage you to read--- AFTER YOU HAVE READ AND REVIEWED MINE! ^_^* OK, well I promise that this will make you laugh, and if you disagree, agree, or can barely breath due to laughter (hey..it could happen..maybe..) ANY TYPE OF REACTION WILL DO, just please, I beg, review!!!! (Hey that rhymed, hehehe -_-*) So please excuse my shameless acts of self-promotion, and have fun!
Original Author's notes: ALL RIGHT... Now, sorry for having to re-post this.. but I messed up the last time and FF.net is kindly giving me a second chance.. Thank you SOOO much to SUSAN, my first reviewer, this re-post is dedicated to you...and now, lets see if I can do it right this time. @_@*
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, nor do I wish them any disrespect or harm... well, maybe Shishio...O_o*
A/N: Ooook.. this is a random compilation of a bunch of thing which struck me as funny.. 'nuff said. Hope nobody minds some cursing. Please note, though, that I really do love the Kenshin- gumi and all their affiliates.. I just saw a page like this and thought I'd try my hand @ it.. right, well here goes.
**Stuff you Never thought you'd hear from the characters of Rurouni
Kenshin**
Once upon a time, in the land of Kenshin out -takes, the characters of Rurouni Kenshin said some things to me that they now probably wish they hadn't.. But now, with out further ado.. the stuff they don't want you to hear is out! ..
[Morning, Talks to the Moon is hidden in the dojo set, listening in..]
Enishi: "Kenshin, man, I love you!!!"
[Everyone sweatdrops as Enishi snuggles with his plushies (eeep!)]
[On the other side of the set, Misao is having one of her 'loving' moments, while Aoshi meditates... again... and Kaoru pretends to be on "Change of Heart"] Misao: "All right, Aoshi, that's it! If you don't say something right now, I'm gonna seriously kick your ass!"
Kaoru: " Thanks for saving me and all guys, but I think I'll stay here with my little Enishi"
[Thoroughly bewildered by such behavior, our hostess waits patiently for some sign of normalcy (fat chance -_-*). While the next stunts are being shot by some poor, underpaid extra in a suspiciously familiar red wig, some of our main men are taking some 'alone' time, to speak to sponsors, and do, erm... other things.]
Saito: "That's why I switched to the Nicorette Patch, to help with the cravings.."
Kenshin: "UUUGH! Ohhh Sano! Oops. I mean, Ohhh Kaoru!"
Enishi: "Forget this 'Earthly Justice' crap, who's up for some Go Fish!?"
Shishio: "I'm singin' in the rain, just singin' in the rain..!"
Sano: "Megumi, not now; go away. It's too early and I'm tired."
[ That afternoon, after Saito gave up on his commercial gig and bought 4 cartons of Virginia Slims with his pay check, she listened in to snipets of backstage conversations at the Akebeko..]
Yahiko: "Sure, Kaoru, I'll scrub the dojo floors! Would you like me to give you a foot message afterwards?"
Kaoru: "God Dammit Kenshin! If you say Kaoru-dono one more time, I swear I'll go back to sleeping with Sano!"
Kenshin: "Man, I am so sick damn sick of saving everyone's ass all the time!"
Yumi: "I'm sorry Shishio-sama, but I've joined a convent."
Sano: "Yoo hoo, oh Keny, come back to bed please!"
Hiko: "Oh Kenshin, I'm so sorry for being such a jerk, please forgive me?"
Saito: "What's up my homey G's!"
Misao: "I've decided to take a vow of silence."
[This being followed with several cat- fights between Aoshi and Megumi, Subame and Hiko, and Kaoru and her split personality, the rest of the cast bets on the winners and trade cigs for sake bottles. As a third of the set has now been demolished and the interns bearing de-tox kits for our heroes have been frightened by the shear number of times ALL of the aforementioned screamed "Rurouni- loving bitch!", The break ends and the last shooting of the day starts...]
Sano: "Kenshin, violence is not the answer."
Kenshin: "Two words, Enishi: Oedipus Complex!"
Sano: "You're right, as usual, Megumi my dove."
[Talks to the Moon is definitely weirded out, but the public deserves the truth: she vows resolutely to follow the cast to the end of their work day and into their busy night lives. Finally, after a looooong day's *cough* work *cough* .. the cast are being debreifed by the director and preparing to go out together for a night of ..]
Aoshi: "Hey guys, what are you doing tonight? I thought we could go clubbin'!"
Saito: "Can I get a hug here, please?"
Hiko: "Hey guys, guess what we're gonna do today in my AA meeting!"
[Fed up with his role for the day, Kenshin stops in the parking lot in front of his porche and rounds on the lit of them]
Kenshin: "To hell this 'No violence' crap, I'll kick your fuckin' ass!"
[ At that point, Talks to the Moon ran out of tape and her bitter cursing might've attracted attention from the irate actors, so she high- tailed it outta there, swearing to return one day.. as soon as the feed back from her show hit the fan]
This has been a service of TTTM broadcasting. stay tuned for or re- broadcasting at 11 tonight!
**The End**
**FOR NOW**
**Bwahahahahahahahaha -choke -wheeze -hahaha -cough -cough -haha!**
* Any who, tell me what you thought Minna-San! Arigato, de gozaru ka! Ja,
~ Talks to the Moon ^_^*
UPDATE: OK. I admit it, I have re-posted this fic in order to receive more reviews from all those RK fans who didn't see my fic when it first came out, and then subsequently got buried under all the hundreds of other Rurouni Kenshin humor stories, which I encourage you to read--- AFTER YOU HAVE READ AND REVIEWED MINE! ^_^* OK, well I promise that this will make you laugh, and if you disagree, agree, or can barely breath due to laughter (hey..it could happen..maybe..) ANY TYPE OF REACTION WILL DO, just please, I beg, review!!!! (Hey that rhymed, hehehe -_-*) So please excuse my shameless acts of self-promotion, and have fun!
Original Author's notes: ALL RIGHT... Now, sorry for having to re-post this.. but I messed up the last time and FF.net is kindly giving me a second chance.. Thank you SOOO much to SUSAN, my first reviewer, this re-post is dedicated to you...and now, lets see if I can do it right this time. @_@*
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, nor do I wish them any disrespect or harm... well, maybe Shishio...O_o*
A/N: Ooook.. this is a random compilation of a bunch of thing which struck me as funny.. 'nuff said. Hope nobody minds some cursing. Please note, though, that I really do love the Kenshin- gumi and all their affiliates.. I just saw a page like this and thought I'd try my hand @ it.. right, well here goes.
**Stuff you Never thought you'd hear from the characters of Rurouni
Kenshin**
Once upon a time, in the land of Kenshin out -takes, the characters of Rurouni Kenshin said some things to me that they now probably wish they hadn't.. But now, with out further ado.. the stuff they don't want you to hear is out! ..
[Morning, Talks to the Moon is hidden in the dojo set, listening in..]
Enishi: "Kenshin, man, I love you!!!"
[Everyone sweatdrops as Enishi snuggles with his plushies (eeep!)]
[On the other side of the set, Misao is having one of her 'loving' moments, while Aoshi meditates... again... and Kaoru pretends to be on "Change of Heart"] Misao: "All right, Aoshi, that's it! If you don't say something right now, I'm gonna seriously kick your ass!"
Kaoru: " Thanks for saving me and all guys, but I think I'll stay here with my little Enishi"
[Thoroughly bewildered by such behavior, our hostess waits patiently for some sign of normalcy (fat chance -_-*). While the next stunts are being shot by some poor, underpaid extra in a suspiciously familiar red wig, some of our main men are taking some 'alone' time, to speak to sponsors, and do, erm... other things.]
Saito: "That's why I switched to the Nicorette Patch, to help with the cravings.."
Kenshin: "UUUGH! Ohhh Sano! Oops. I mean, Ohhh Kaoru!"
Enishi: "Forget this 'Earthly Justice' crap, who's up for some Go Fish!?"
Shishio: "I'm singin' in the rain, just singin' in the rain..!"
Sano: "Megumi, not now; go away. It's too early and I'm tired."
[ That afternoon, after Saito gave up on his commercial gig and bought 4 cartons of Virginia Slims with his pay check, she listened in to snipets of backstage conversations at the Akebeko..]
Yahiko: "Sure, Kaoru, I'll scrub the dojo floors! Would you like me to give you a foot message afterwards?"
Kaoru: "God Dammit Kenshin! If you say Kaoru-dono one more time, I swear I'll go back to sleeping with Sano!"
Kenshin: "Man, I am so sick damn sick of saving everyone's ass all the time!"
Yumi: "I'm sorry Shishio-sama, but I've joined a convent."
Sano: "Yoo hoo, oh Keny, come back to bed please!"
Hiko: "Oh Kenshin, I'm so sorry for being such a jerk, please forgive me?"
Saito: "What's up my homey G's!"
Misao: "I've decided to take a vow of silence."
[This being followed with several cat- fights between Aoshi and Megumi, Subame and Hiko, and Kaoru and her split personality, the rest of the cast bets on the winners and trade cigs for sake bottles. As a third of the set has now been demolished and the interns bearing de-tox kits for our heroes have been frightened by the shear number of times ALL of the aforementioned screamed "Rurouni- loving bitch!", The break ends and the last shooting of the day starts...]
Sano: "Kenshin, violence is not the answer."
Kenshin: "Two words, Enishi: Oedipus Complex!"
Sano: "You're right, as usual, Megumi my dove."
[Talks to the Moon is definitely weirded out, but the public deserves the truth: she vows resolutely to follow the cast to the end of their work day and into their busy night lives. Finally, after a looooong day's *cough* work *cough* .. the cast are being debreifed by the director and preparing to go out together for a night of ..]
Aoshi: "Hey guys, what are you doing tonight? I thought we could go clubbin'!"
Saito: "Can I get a hug here, please?"
Hiko: "Hey guys, guess what we're gonna do today in my AA meeting!"
[Fed up with his role for the day, Kenshin stops in the parking lot in front of his porche and rounds on the lit of them]
Kenshin: "To hell this 'No violence' crap, I'll kick your fuckin' ass!"
[ At that point, Talks to the Moon ran out of tape and her bitter cursing might've attracted attention from the irate actors, so she high- tailed it outta there, swearing to return one day.. as soon as the feed back from her show hit the fan]
This has been a service of TTTM broadcasting. stay tuned for or re- broadcasting at 11 tonight!
**The End**
**FOR NOW**
**Bwahahahahahahahaha -choke -wheeze -hahaha -cough -cough -haha!**
* Any who, tell me what you thought Minna-San! Arigato, de gozaru ka! Ja,
~ Talks to the Moon ^_^*
