DAY 2: Blue Goo, River's Edge, and an Interesting Second Night

Switch is recording with her own digi-camera.

Switch (inside tent): Mmmrrph... Uhg... Good morning, it's Sunday the 15th and it's our second day of our documentary. Today we're going to go look for some spots where the Specter has been sighted and -

Someone swearing outside suddenly interrupts switch. Still recording, she goes to investigate and discovers that somebody had taken Rain's backpack outside and tossed the contents out. The backpack is found, and everything still inside it is covered in-

Rain: BLUE GOO! BLUE. F____ING. GOO. ALLOVERTHEPLACE!!!!!

Apoc: Ewww. What the heck is it? None of us has anything that looks like that...

Rain: That's beside the point! All my stuff is lost or ruined! *Grumble, grumble, mutter, mutter*

Switch: Well, at least we're going home today. C'mon.

Apoc: This stuff looks like slime mold. Maybe we should burn it, just in case.

Rain: *Gags* ICK!!! NO!!!

They help rain look for her stuff. Most of it is found, but Rain's compass is missing. Rain tries her best to get the blue goo off her stuff. They pack up their stuff and hike to a river where Sadako was last spotted.

Announcer: This River is the sight of a strange murder that has been associated with the Specter. A group of hippies-

Agent Jones enters the room dressed as a hippie, which would be more convincing if he had changed out of his suit.

Announcer: What are you doing?

Agent Jones: Visual aid.

Announcer: (stares at him for a moment) O. kay. Uh, a group of hippies were staying by the river near another group of campers. That night, the campers heard sounds of torture coming from the hippies' camp-

Agent Jones (Starts acting scared, high, and aroused at the same time): Gyaaaaah! Oh no, like, a hot chick in the red dress's gonna kill us dudes! Ooooh nooo, she's got, like, a whip, man!!! OOOOOooohhHH, wOooOoOoo-

Announcer: NOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!!!

Agent Jones: Hearing Aid.

Announcer: Urge. to kill. rising.

Agent Tea-x is about to kick Agent Jones when Agent Yamamura breaks down the door and chases Agent Jones out of the room again. Announcer-Agent Tea- x clicks off her camera. A second later, she clicks her camera back on and starts talking from an undisclosed location.

Announcer: Sorry for the interruptions by my two colleges, an imbecilical virus or something seems to have infected them. *Cough, cough idiots cough.* Anyhow. The next morning the hippies were gone and in their place were a veritable lake of blood. The police could not find any clues to the massacre, aside from one long, black lock of hair. (Cackles evilly) Hee hee hee!!

Agent Jones, from somewhere else where he can hear Agent Tea-x but can't find her: HEY! YOU BITER!

Switch: Getting back to us now. -_-;

Rain: this is a fiasco waiting to happen. 6_6;

Apoc: I think it's already started. ^_^;

The three get to the river, which appears normal. Switch sets up her camera. Lock starts filming the river, and then pans to Switch.

Switch: This is the sight of the infamous hippie massacre of 19-

Rain: YAI!

Apoc: (turns to river) OH MY F_____ING GOD!!!

Apoc quickly gets the camera back to the river that is now striped with a red liquid, that is a horrible shade of red that looks a lot like-

Switch, Apoc, and Rain: BLOOD!!!

Rain (aside): Speaking of which, when's lunch?

Switch and Apoc (exasperated): RAIN!!

Rain: Sorry.

The camera stays on the bloody river for a minute longer and then they quickly leave. They start hiking back to the campsite, but become lost and disoriented.

Apoc and Rain (whining): We're becoming lost and disoriented!

Switch: Don't panic, we've got a map and my weird-blue-goo-free compass!

Rain: Switch, I know this place by heart and I have no fricken' clue where we are!

Apoc: Just how do you know this place by heart?

Rain: I used to go camping here when I was little.

Apoc: But you're a program. You never were little.

Rain: You know what I mean! I liked camping!

Switch: Just what is it that you do anyway? Y'know, what was your purpose?

Apoc: Yeah, the purpose that drives y-

Switch (low, dangerous voice): Now don't start that again!

Apoc: Yipe! - Shutting up. (It's ok; he can't remember the rest of the quote anyway.)

Rain: All right, all right. I confess: I used to be a program in charge of snowstorms. Then a pair of twin things replaced me.

The Twins pop up behind the mightiest tree in the forest (which has since been chopped down by a herring), aghast: Did you just call us "twin things"?!

Rain (annoyed): Where the f___ did you two come from!?! Well, yes I did, so will you go away? You guys aren't even in this story!

The Twins: Well at least we're ALIVE by the end of the movie!

Apoc, Rain, and Switch (really annoyed): WILL YOU JUST LEAVE!!!!

The Twins: BAH! *Grumble, grumble, mutter, mutter*

The Twins' Fangirls: *disappointed* Awwwwwwwww..

The Twins leave, but they appear to be plotting something, or maybe that's just how they act when they've been dissed.

Agent Yamamura, who has found Agent Tea-x's hiding place: "Thank the pretty sparkly green letters they're gone!"

Announcer (Agent Yamamura doesn't annoy her as much as Agent Jones): "Thank you pretty sparkly green letters!" Dusk has fallen on their second day in the Blair Woods. Assuming this night will be as uneventful as the last, they set up their tents. Since the three are surprisingly not tired, they are huddled together in Apoc's tent talking. Rain is filming them with Switch's digi-camera.

Rain: So what do you guys think about that? I mean the blood.

Apoc: I dunno. I mean, how did all that blood get in the water, anyway? Why there? It scared the s___ out of me!

Switch (muffled by a s'more): Eei thhinkgh itsh shom kinna sngn!

Rain: Swallow, please.

Switch (swallows her s'more): I think it's some kind of sign!

Rain: What do you mean?

Switch: Well, we go to the place where Sadako the Specter killed all those hippies, and the next thing you know the water's red. We try to make it back to camp, but we get disoriented in spite of having a map and someone who claims to know these woods like the back of her hand!

Rain: Hey!

Switch: .No offence.

Rain: Whatever.

Twig: SNAP!

Switch, Apoc, and Rain: What was that??

Twig: Sorry.

Silence.

Suddenly.!

Mysterious, crazy female-sounding voice: EEEEEYYYYAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! (echoes off)

Switch, Apoc, and Rain: YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

Many hands start pounding on the tent!

Hands on tent: WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM!!!!!!!!!

The three run out of the tent, Apoc grabbing their big camera that has a powerful light attached to it, and start running into the woods. The fools!

Switch (looking at something to her right): OMG!!! WTF IS THAT??!!? WTF IS THAT???!!!!!!!??

Rain: DON'T ASK ME, I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!!!

Apoc (looking to his left): HEY, IT'S AGENT JONES.! (Agent Jones crashes into Apoc) OW!!! WTF are you doing here?!

Agent Jones (blushing furiously): Uh. I'm. bird watching.

Apoc (rubbing his head): *oww.* "bird watching" at night?

Agent Jones: Yes. I'm looking for a uh, delivery .owl. (Sheepishly holds up a letter addressed to "Miss Sadako 'Blair Woods Specter' Yamamura, The Blair Woods, Region 13, Northwest Quadrant, The Matrix")

Rain: *snickering* Wrong story, fool.

Apoc and Switch: *SNICKERING*.

Agent Jones: Oh fine, laugh you three, but if I were you-

Agent Yamamura comes into the scene, whacks Agent Jones hard on the head with a mallet rendering him unconscious, and drags him off-screen.

Everybody who's had a speaking part so far, including the Twig (a la Ren Höek): He's an eediot.

Announcer: We'll never know what Switch saw to her right, because just as Apoc was about to focus on it Agent Jones wrecked their camera! Our three hapless heroes straggle back to camp, restore the fire, and stay awake till dawn. They did not know that their last day on earth awaited them with the dawning of the sun. (Grins most evilly) MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Suffer puny humans and vamp-chick, SUFFER!!!!

Agent Yamamura, tying up Agent Jones so that he can't cause any more problems: *muttering* this place needs beer, or saké, or something.

Announcer: That's a good idea.