A/N: I should've mentioned this earlier: I wrote this in June and finished it July 2, and this was my first Original piece of fan fiction.

DAY 3: The End Of Their Beginning... Or The Beginning Of... Their... Ending... Or The... Oh Forget It!

Announcer (drunkenly, because she and Agent Yamamura had gone out to a saké bar to forget the insanity of the past couple hours. Agent Yamamura is curled up in a corner sleeping, and the tied-up Agent Jones is also asleep): Aaaahh. The thrrreee guysh wake up. uh. and um pack up and leave camp. Theyyy.. Hike or shomethingh. Ughhhh. (Agent Tea-x falls face-first onto her desk and starts snoring immediately) ZZzzzzzzzz.

The Twins stealthily enter the room.

The Twins' Fangirls (cheering): THEY'RE BACK!! WHOO-HOO!!!! :-D

The Twins give their fans a thumbs-up and poke the three Agents to make sure they are fast asleep. They click off the camera. When the picture returns a few minutes later, all three Agents are now propped up in chairs wearing bondage gear, their faces covered with black ink words and doodles by a permanent pen, and they are now handcuffed together. The camera shifts to Twin One, who is now seated primly in Agent Tea-x's chair as though he's always been there. Twin Two joins him after adjusting the camera.

Twin One: Hi, and welcome back to the Blair Woods Specter show. The Announcer and her two fellows are incapacitated for the moment-

Twin Two: *Snort!* -to say the least-

One: Hehe. -So we are going to be taking over for them-

Two: -So don't worry; the narration is in good hands!

Both (Evilly): MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Fangirls (cheering): YAY!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

One: Thank you. And now back to the story. After spending a sleepless night next to the fire, Apoc, Switch, and Rain hastily gather up their belongings and start hiking on what they think is the path that leads them home. Unfortunately...

Rain: I don't think this is the right path! None of these landmarks look familiar!

Switch (reading the map and holding her compass): This has to be the path, the map says so, and the compass is... is... uh...

Apoc (worried): Switch, what's wrong with the compass?

The compass' needle is spinning erratically, rendering it completely useless.

All three: *Groan.....!*

Rain: Well, I think I know where we might be. If we follow the river downstream, it'll eventually take us to some sort of civilization...

A/N: This is true; I read it in a book on hiking.

Switch (tucking the map back into her bag): Well, that's a start. If we walk double pace, we should get out of this f-ed up forest soon!

Apoc and Rain: GOOD!!

One: They hike for a long time, following the river downstream, until-

Two: -they come to the site of the hippie massacre, which is thankfully-

One: -free of blood. They pass it by, and after a few hours...

Apoc: WTF?!

Rain: How did we end up back here?!

Switch: I - I don't know, how could we, we were following the river!

Rain: Unless. no, it's impossible!

Switch: What?

Rain (hesitatingly): Well... If Sadako is still in charge of the forest, do you suppose she could have...?

Apoc (finishing for her): ...Changed the river? But why?

Switch: She's toying with us, the b____...

Rain: Aaargh! Stupid forest, and to think I once liked being here!

Switch: well, maybe we can still find a way out. C'mon, let's keep going.

They continue hiking, not realizing that they are headed deeper into the Blair Woods. They stop for lunch by a stand of trees. Rain goes off to relive herself in a bush, when suddenly they hear a cry.

Rain: YAI!!!! AAAAAGHHH, GET OFFGETOFF, AAAAAAAA-!!!!

Apoc: Uh-oh must be those darn shrubbery herrings again...

Switch: Yes, they can get bad this time of year.

They grab their cameras and rush into the place where they heard Rain's screams, hoping to capture something funny involving her and a randy shrubbery herring. They don't see her, but as they look up suddenly-

Switch and Apoc: OH MY F___ING GAWD!!!!!!!!

The large fir tree opposite them is festooned in what appears to be freshly vivisected human organs and bloody bits of clothing. Rain's clothing, to be exact. Topping the frightful fir like a grisly Christmas angel is Rain's head, it's hair wet with blood and covering her face so that only one glaring eye is visible.

Switch and Apoc (looking for a moment, then running away as fast as they can): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

Two: And thus we have seen the last of that insolent Vamp Rain!

One: That wasn't very funny.

Two: This was based on a scary movie, what did you expect?

One: Oh, right.

Two: Anyway, our thoroughly freaked-out little protagonists are now running headlong into the woods-

One: -without their backpacks. Being humans, they still do not realize the consequences of their actions.

Two: But they will, believe us, they will.

Both: HEHEHEHEHE!

Switch and Apoc are now deep in the Blair Woods, thoroughly lost with no map and no equipment having abandoned their backpacks. Their only source of light and comfort is their cameras, which they use to record their thoughts as they hike into a deepening evening gloom.

Switch (sniveling): I want to say good-bye and I love you to my parents and my sister Pacey, to whom I give my Harry Potter books, including the two that haven't been published yet that I got from hacking into the archives and also my closet space, and my brother Binder, who can have my collection of exotic inventions; to my best female friend Trinity (you rock!) who can have my bug-sucker-outer-machine...

Apoc (acting stoic): This is probably my last will and testament as we are both trapped in a shifting forest by a psychotic b____ of a program; To my parents, I want to say I love you and I'm sorry I yelled at my sister for going into my room; to Star (my sister) I want to say "Even in death, please keep out of my room!" heh, just kidding, I love you too sis...

They continue like this for a while until quiet accidentally they stumble upon a ruined house-like building in the middle of a clearing. Curious and with night approaching, they decide to enter the dilapidated structure. The Fools!

Switch: Hello? Is anybody there? Help please! We're lost in the forest and our friend is dead!

Apoc: Yeah! She has discovered death on pointy, piney branches! (Switch smacks him) Ow! (Sheepishly) Well she did!

No one answers their calls. The house appears quite deserted. They enter, and notice something scratched onto the walls...

Apoc: What's all this? It looks like writing...

Switch (reading): "Agent Jones was he-" it scrawls off, as if something had grabbed him! (She looks around. The room is covered with strange writing.) The rest of this is just gibberish!

Apoc: This is freaking me out, Switch; I think we should leave!

Switch: Good idea! Let's go!

They turn around, only to find themselves in a long hallway they had never been before.

Switch (aggravated and scared): Great, a glitching house! The perfect residence for a glitched-up b_____ of a program like Sadako!

They walk down the hall, only to find themselves in another room. They try to smash a window, but it stays firmly unbroken. They run all through the house, going into rooms that rearrange themselves as soon as they leave. At some point, they abandon their camera and it sits on a rug. The camera films the walls shifting and records the sounds of the increasingly panicked Switch and Apoc as they stampede through the house trying to get out.

Switch (somewhere far off): Apoc! Apoc, where are you!!?

Apoc (somewhere else entirely): SWIIIIITCH!!!!!! HELP ME! SWIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Switch somehow finds the hall with the camera in it, grabs it, and goes off to find Apoc.

Switch: APOC! APOC I'M COMING!!!

Apoc (in apparent pain): GYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! NOO- (his cries abruptly stop)

Switch: APOC!!! APOC!!!!!!!!!

Switch enters a room and sees-

Switch: Oh. My. God....

Agents Yamamura and Tea-x are bound, gagged, and handcuffed to each other on the floor still dressed in bondage gear with their faces covered in permanent ink, as are the Twins. Sadako is having tea with Agent Jones, who is still tied up and sipping his tea through a straw. Apoc is there too, standing in another doorway and staring at the two Agents lying on the floor. It should be noted that now they aren't acting.

Apoc: Do you think we should help them?

Switch: What? Oh yeah... Why were you yelling?

Apoc: I wasn't yelling!

Switch: (uncuffing Agent Tea-x) Which one of you was yelling?

Everyone looks at one another and shakes their heads. There's a crash, and a wall explodes into the room! As the dust settles down, everyone is shocked to see Rain, crazed-looking and wearing bloody clothes, but very much alive!!!!!!

Everyone: WTF??!!

Rain: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Now at last I can have my revenge!

Everyone: WHAT F______ING REVENGE?!?

Rain (pointing to each person as she speaks): My Revenge, revenge on Agent Yamamura, who tried to mess me up during the DanceDance Revolution competition; Agent Tea-x for stealing my clothes; The Twins for replacing me and for being ever so annoying; Sadako for being such a b_____; Agent Jones for liking her more then me when I obviously have better fashion sense, at least; and finally on you two, Switch and Apoc, for dragging me into this mess in the first place!!!!!!!!!!! (Laughs madly/creepily a la Scott Evil) MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAAAAAAHAHA!

Switch: But. but what about the tree?

Rain: I'm a Vamp! A little vivisection can't kill me!!!! I just pulled myself together once you left!

Apoc: And the river?

Rain: All me! And this station is all mine too! So now, let's see how well you guys can stand a little claustrophobia!

Switch: EVERYBODY RUN!!!!

They all scatter, but even the Agents and the Twins who thought they knew the layout of their "station" quickly become hopelessly lost. As the panicked humans and programs try to find a way out the house, Rain causes the building to slowly implode. Soon the house has been squeezed to the size of a garage, then a shed, then a VW Beetle, a go-cart, a large dog- carrier, a microwave oven, a loaf of bread, a shoebox, a sneaker, a flip- flop, a cup. and with a muffled *bamf* the house blips out of existence. Suddenly all the characters fall out of thin air, crashing one on top of the other in the forest clearing!

Everyone: OW OW OW... *GROAN*...

Rain (rolling on the floor laughing her butt off): AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! (Annoying sing-song voice) I GOT YOU, I GOT YOU, AND YOU SHOULD SEEEEEEEEE YOUR FAAAAAACES!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!

Agent Tea-x: Remind me to rearrange her memory next year.

Twin One: Yeah, she always-

Twin Two: -Gets us! (ow!)

Apoc (winded): This is the weirdest April 1st I've ever experienced...

Sadako: That thing with the tree... Nice touch!

Rain: Thanks! (Hysterically giggles again) heeheeheehee.!

Agent Yamamura: You were still sore about that DanceDance Revolution thing?

Sadako (grinning through her hair): Well, she always was a bit overdone when it come to that game...

Agent Jones: (Owww..) you call all this a "bit over done"?! She could have killed us!

Switch: Don't worry, it only means that we now have a chance to get her back next year!

Twin One: Well, why wait-

Twin Two: -till next year?!

Everyone else: Good point!

Switch and Apoc: HEY RAIN!!!

Rain (still giggling): Heh heh heh... w-what?

Everyone: SURPRISE!!!!!

Rain: HUH?!

All of them whip out some of the Weasley twins' magical fireworks and soon whirling, whistling, exploding sparks of every color imaginable are swarming around Rain, who is quickly overwhelmed by the vivid swarm of vamp- seeking embers!

Rain: GYAAAAAH!!! YAI!!!!!!!!! GETOFFGETOFFGETOFF!!!!!!

Everyone (annoying sing-song voice): HAAAAAAPPY APRIL FOOOOOOOOOOLS DAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY RAAAAAAAIIIINNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rain: Just you - YIKES! - Wait till - AAAAAAGH! - Next - EEEEEE! - Year!!!! AAAAAAAAGH!!!! YAAAGH MY EYES!!! NOOOOO, THE LAVANDERFUSCIAGREEN SPARKS IN MY HAAAAAAAAIIIIIRRRRRR!!!

And so it was that the huge mass of sparks chased Rain deep into the Blair Woods where she remained till June, since the sparks had left weird, multi- colored blotches all over her body. The others were filled with immense pride at finally getting the master prankstress back at her own game... at least until next year, wherein the resulting chaos caused the whole City to be rebooted twice, since not all of the jam, silly string, and wandering firecrackers had been removed the first time and the buildings tilted at odd angles that caused several thousand cases of vertigo. And they were all banned from working together on a film project for the rest of their years in high school and even into college.

The Very End! =^_^=;;

Author's notes: Yay, my first humor fiction! I think that the whole thing was the characters filming the spoof, and then Rain pulling this huge prank on them at the end. I have no idea if this ending made any sense, funny though it was. I originally wanted it to end with Apoc staring at a giant tv and Sadako coming out of it, but that seemed too cliché. I have no idea what "Rain's" actual character name is, and I'm still not certain she's even a "she" at all. I know you'll be surprised that I have not included one mention of a certain Agent and/or Elf Lord whom we all love to torture (usually by way of you-know-who in the you-know-where (attack of the green zoris!)), but I couldn't really fit him/them into the story and it'd be kind of odd for either of them to be Sadako's brother. Of course I had to include the Weasley Twins' awesome fireworks somewhere! "It flew after [Umbridge] with a sinister Wheeeeeeeeee!" (HP&TOotP) Yay!! Happy 4th of July!!!

Finished July 2, 2003.