Title Wherever You Go, There You Are

Spoilers: Don't think there are any, at least not yet.

Rating: Um, PG just to be safe. Minor language, a wee bit of something resembling alcohol.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG1 and Farscape are owned by lovely, wonderful people. I am not among them.

A/N: see chapter one

Wherever You Go, There You Are: Peel Me A Grape

"Don't ever say I don't take you any place nice, Carter." Jack said, surveying the bar. It was packed with people, most of which were congregating around large tables watching what seemed to be the local version of poker. Electronic music swirled through the room, which reminded Jack, oddly enough, of Buck Rogers. The only source of light came from large liquid-filled vertical tubes that were scattered throughout the room. When they entered the bar, Carter immediately posited a theory on how the liquid amplified the light. Jack had turned her out after about the first five words.

"Carter, if you can tear yourself away from the pretty lights, why don't you and Daniel strike up a conversation with some of the locals here and see if you can pick up anything. Teal'c, you're with me."

Sam gave her CO a look that suggested what he might do with the pretty lights and moved into the crowd. Daniel followed her. Teal'c and Jack walked up to an empty space at the bar.

"What are we to do, O'Neill?"

"Look around, check things out, listen in…you know, eavesdrop." At Teal's raised eyebrow, Jack said, "Hey, how else are we gonna figure out what those weird things we found are?"

"We could ask."

"That would be Carter and Daniel's job."

They found two empty seats at the bar, or at what looked like the bar. It was a large semi-circular counter in the middle of the room, suspended from the ceiling by six of the light tubes. Four servers stood behind the counter taking orders and punching them into a small computer screen. Behind the servers was a sort of conveyor belt that revolved behind a wall and emerged with full drink glasses. Or bowls. Or…buckets? Oh yeah, these people knew how to party.

Jack waved a couple of fingers at a server. "Hey, barkeep. How 'bout a cold sarsaparilla?"


"Damn, there's a lot of people in here." Crichton reached around Aeryn to grab his drink off the bar. He nodded to the big furry guy sitting next to her and made a mental note to just hang on to his glass.

"That's interesting." D'Argo said. Aeryn turned to look.

"What is?" Crichton asked.

"Those people over there. They look like Peacekeepers."

"Frell! Let's get out of here."

"Wait, Crichton. They aren't Peacekeepers." Aeryn had an odd note in her voice.

John tried to look around Aeryn. "Then who are they, Aeryn? Okay, where the hell are they?"

"They're on the other side of the room. John, I think they might be…"

"Excuse me." John tapped the big guy on the arm. "Could you move over a little? My friends are trying to show me something. No offense or anything, but you're kinda blockin' the view."

The guy growled slightly, bared his teeth and then moved off the high bar stool and into the crowd, muttering something about frelling Sebaceans. John grabbed the seat and pivoted to look where Aeryn was staring. "Might be what, Aeryn?"

He saw. "Oh, my god. It can't be. This is impossible."

D'Argo disagreed. "You're here, aren't you?"

"Are they human?" Aeryn asked.

"Damn. Hell. Damn." He seemed to have forgotten some of the better curse words he'd learned growing up. "Yeah, they're human. Hell, they're Air Force."

"Air Force?" D'Argo asked.

"Yeah, um, it's a part of our, um, military. Well, not Earth, but the US. My country. My Air Force."

"John, you're not making sense," Aeryn said.

He snapped back, "Yeah, well give me just a sec to get used to this! There are four people dressed in uniforms that look like they are from Earth. This isn't possible."

"Could it be that they are not from Earth?"

"And they just picked those up from the surplus store?" He started to stand. "I'm gonna go find out who they are." And then the blond woman with the group turned around and John stumbled off the barstool.

"They're from Earth."

He started to laugh, which worried Aeryn. "How do you know? It could be a trick by Scorpius to lure you into the open."

Crichton leaned over the bar, snagging one of the servers by her elbow. He said over his shoulder to Aeryn, "They're from Earth." Turning back to the server, he smiled and said, "Listen, I'd like to send a special drink to the lady over there." He pointed in the blonde's direction.

"She didn't want anything." The server pouted.

John smiled again, turning on the charm. "Listen, she's an old friend of mine. I'll tell you how to make the drink and you just give it to her and tell her it's from the guy across the bar."

"They make all the drinks in the back."

"Yeah, but you tell them what to make. You can tell them to do anything."

She looked at him uncertainly, then brightened. "Sure. I can do that."

"Crichton, what are you doing?" Aeryn asked.

"Buying some time to pull myself together." He reeled off a drink recipe he'd made up on Moya that reminded him a little of a Cape Cod. The server punched it in to her computer and walked to the belt to pick up the drink.

"Crichton…" Aeryn's voice warned him that she was not happy.

He turned to face her. "Aeryn, they're not just from Earth. I know the woman. She really is an old friend of mine."

"And the drink?"

"It's one of her favorites. I want to get her attention and let her know that it's really me, before I start answering questions. And – I want to make sure it's her."

About that time, the server placed the drink in front of the woman. She smiled at the server and Crichton thought his heart would stop. She shook her head and pushed away the drink. The server waved her hand over her shoulder and said something. The woman shrugged, said something to the man standing next to her, and picked up the drink. She sniffed at the drink, then took a small sip. Her eyes widened in surprise. She caught the server's attention and asked her something. The server pointed across the bar to John. The woman looked up and all the color drained from her face.

John couldn't help himself. He called out, "Not bad, for an alien version of a Flaming Larry, don't you think?"


Jack stood up to let his 2IC sit down. When she looked at him oddly, he said, "Chivalry isn't completely dead."

"Thank you, sir." She said and sat down. A server approached and Sam waved her off.

"Not feeling adventurous today, Carter?"

"No, sir. Daniel tried one of the drinks and, um, I learned from his mistake."

"Hey, it looked like coffee. It smelled like coffee."

"And it tasted like?" Jack asked.

Daniel grimaced. "You don't want to know."

Jack looked flatly at the archeologist. "Did you find anything out during your culinary adventures?"

"Uh, no. Not really. The language here is not a variation of any Earth language, at least not one that I know."

Which was pretty much any language spoken in the past 10,000 years, Jack thought. Right. So these folks were probably from around here.

Daniel was continuing, "…leads me to believe that the local population originated here."

Jack gave him a half-smile. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yes, and I've been thinking about the lack of Goa'uld markings or symbols. That would support an indigenous people theory. If the Goa'uld have never been here, or if the local people fought them off…?"

"With what, Daniel? This place looks like a high-tech version of the wild west. Everybody's got a gun, but nobody's in charge."

Carter turned. "Those ruins have been there for thousands of years. Maybe…"

"O'Neill, I believe we are being observed."

"Where?" He was still looking at Daniel and Carter, but his attention focused in the direction of Teal'c's nod.

"There are three of them."

"Yeah, I see. Carter, Daniel, don't turn around. Let's not draw any more attention than we already have."

Daniel turned anyway. "They look human. Or humanoid, anyway."

"Great, thanks. There's a difference?" Daniel opened his mouth and Jack stopped him with an upheld hand. "Never mind. Alright, Carter, you might as well take a look, too."

Granted, she did it right, turning casually as if to say something to the man sitting next to her. "They look harmless enough to me. There don't seem to be many humans here; maybe we're just a curiosity."

"Think they speak English? Or some other language Daniel knows?"

"We could always ask."

"Yeah, see, that's Daniel's job. Or yours. I just stand here and look menacing." Carter raised an eyebrow in a Teal'c-worthy look. "Okay, T looks menacing and I supervise."

"Um, Jack?'

"Yeah, Daniel."

"I don't think they're a threat."

"Using telepathy again, Daniel?"

"No, it's just that…"

There was the soft click of a glass on the counter. The server pushed the drink toward Sam.

"Uh, thanks, but I'm not thirsty," she pushed the glass back and smiled at the server, not wanting to be rude.

The server pushed the glass toward Sam again and then waved her hand over her shoulder in the general direction of the people watching them.

"I think you have an admirer, Sam," Daniel said softly.

"Figures. Out of all the gin joints in the world, I walk into this one." She shrugged, then picked up the class and sniffed its contents. "Doesn't smell all that bad." She took a sip and her eyes widened. "Wow. That's pretty good. It tastes almost like a Cape Cod."

"Drink of choice, Carter?"

"Yeah." She waved at the server, who was hovering nearby. She pointed at the glass and then pointed to the other side of the bar. The server nodded and pointed directly at a man staring intently at Sam.

"So what do you think, Carter? Ready for him to meet Jacob?"

The glass slipped out of her hand and hit the counter with a flat thud.

"That's impossible."

"Carter?" Jack asked, echoing Daniel's concerned, "Sam?"

The guy she was staring at stood up and called out, "Not bad, for an alien version of a Flaming Larry, don't you think?"