Disclaimer: I don't own ff8! Jeez, would you get off my back! : )
~*Chapter 6*~
The Ragnarok swayed dangerously from side to side; the grind of metal on metal as Selphie scraped a pillar was painful. Squall was standing behind Selphie, a tic he couldn't rid himself of no matter how hard he tried; he just couldn't trust her fully with this thing. He waited till they were safely airborne and exited the cockpit wordlessly, leaving behind the rash of questions that were about to spew from his friend's open mouths. He went and sat in the computer room, his head in his hands. This is happening too much, he thought, I'm going to end up with a permanent imprint of a glove on my forehead. Rinoa had crept up behind him silently and touched him lightly on his shoulder.
"Wanna talk about it?" She asked softly.
"Not right now. I need to digest the last 24 hours myself before I try and make sense of it with anyone else."
"Can I just ask one teensy little question, Squall?"
"You can ask. Depending on the question though, I might not answer"
"I know you Squall. I know you inside out, better than you know yourself. I knew you before you changed into what you are today and I know you now. But there's one thing that's left me puzzled. You're so proud, so strong, so unwilling to forgive and forget, to let bygones be bygones. Yet you've forgiven Laguna so easily, so quickly. It goes against who you are, who I know you to be. I want to know why."
He sighed; a sad smile betrayed his feelings to her, "I don't know Rin, that's just it. I don't understand it myself. You know how I felt about him, how I still feel. The man's a moron. But, I can understand him. I know why he did what he did; I know why he left. He never went for personal gain; he didn't go for any reason other than to bring a family back together. His family. When he was telling me about my Mom, and how it was meant to turn out, I could see that I was wanted. Do you know how it felt to have that realisation? Until the moment I fell in love with you, I had never known what it felt like to be wanted. Elle showed me my childhood in Winhill last night."
He had paused; she took his hand and gently caressed it, "What was it like?"
"It was awful. They all hated me. Raine, my Mom, had died giving birth to me. They blamed her death on Laguna and me. Elle is the only reason I'm alive. They starved me, they beat me, they wanted me dead. All that to a three year old." He shook his head in disbelief.
"You're not going to do anything stupid at Winhill are you?" She asked, worry apparent in her voice.
He laughed lightly, "No, but I feel like it. I just want to visit her."
"Your Mom?"
"Mmm hmm."
"You still haven't answered my question, not really."
He exhaled loudly and thought for a moment, "I forgave him because I would do the same. I know why he did it and I'd do the same under the circumstances he was in. The woman he loved asked him, no, begged him to leave her and to find a child they both loved. He wanted to wait until she had safely had me then go for Elle, but she wouldn't let him. If you and I were in that situation, I know the same scenario would play out. I can't fault him for the choices we'd both make."
"But what about not coming to get you, leaving you in Winhill? What about not knowing if you were all safe? Three years is a long time to be caught up in business."
"I did the same Rin. I let myself get caught up in Garden, in training to be the best. Training to make sure I'd never again be so weak as to have to rely on anyone the way I'd relied on Elle. I had to prove that I wasn't that scared little kid anymore, to myself, to everyone. I trained so hard I forgot, I lost track of time. I forgot my life in Winhill, which was probably one of my aims. But I also forgot the few friends I had, friends who were my family then, and are my family now.
Maybe three years is a long time Rinny, and I don't know why he forgot us for so long. I know why I forgot everything for twelve years. I can relate to why he would want to forget. Winhill was a town of hate for us both. He was probably scared. I'm not going to demonise him and give up my chance of something resembling a family because my pride won't allow me to forgive. It's happened too much in the past, and you taught me to move on. So I guess the answer to your question is; because of you."
She just held him then, letting her fingers play with his chestnut tresses, a small gasp escaped her as she remembered, "I meant to ask you right away, but did you call Laguna "Dad" when were leaving?"
He looked at her quizzically and then his face relaxed into a grin, "Uh uh. I said, "See you later, man" to the guy that was guarding the entrance. I might have forgiven him quickly, sweetie, but there's no way I'm calling him Dad just yet."
She kissed him on the tip of his nose, "Didn't think so!"
With that, four certain red-faced companions fell into the room, each holding a glass. Squall raised an eyebrow and said smoothly, "Where's our glasses? In fact, where's the drink you're using those glasses for?"
Selphie jumped up and down, a small frown marring her features for an instant, then in her usual sing song voice, "We're sooo-reee! We had to be nosy though Squally, we'd never have found out otherwise! Are we really your family?! That is soooo sweet! HUGS!"
"Don't call me Squally. I hate that. And don't try to hug me. You're all in the bad books."
Selphie pouted and Irvine pinched her cheek to cheer her up. A look of alarm crossed Squalls face. "Selphie? If you're here, who the hell is piloting this thing?"
She bounded around some more and then jumped on his back, "AUTOPILOT! Woohoo! It's so cool, you just put in where you want to go then…"
"Someone please get her off me. Please!"
Irvine manhandled her off, "Someone's had too many E numbers this morning, eh Sefie?"
"I only had three cans of the soda in the mini bar! It was yummy!"
Zell leaned across to Quistis, who was busy rubbing his leg and whispered loudly, "It'll be ok soon Quisty, she'll crash and burn when her sugar rush wears off!"
Mayhem ensued.
"I am not having a sugar rush Zell Dinch! I'm always this nice and happy and you know it! You're just jealous! Let me at him Irvy!" She screeched maniacally, lunging at him. It took all of Irvine's strength to hold her back.
"Easy there my little cowgirl, you don't really want to hurt poor chicken-wuss, I mean Zell." He grinned evilly.
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" Zell was physically shaking with anger; Quistis was trying to placate him to no avail.
"Come on Irvine, apologise to Zell. He didn't mean it Zelly. And Selphie, calm down a bit, you're going to do yourself an injury." Quistis tried to diffuse the situation, but soon got caught up in it also.
"Hey Zell, is that why you and Quisty are dating? Do you like to be dominated? Does she use her whip in the bedroom? Bet that's why you've always got so many scratches, cause they sure as hell ain't from no T-Rexaur in the training centre! What a lame excuse! Its nothing to be embarrassed about!" Selphie taunted.
Squall and Rinoa stood rooted to the spot, jaws open and eyes bulging. Zell turned an interesting shade of red, and started mumbling how it was none of her business, how did she know anyway?
Quistis however leapt at Selphie, chain poised to whip her into next week, "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU HYPER LITTLE PYSCHO BITCH!" she screamed.
Four voices started screaming, four weapons ready to be used, until a lone figure jumped into the madness, batting their weapons away with his Lionheart. He stood up gracefully and sheathed the weapon, picking up and handing the scattered weapons to their respective owners as he did so. Looking at him in disbelief were his friends; a scowling Selphie, a manic Irvine, a bright red, shaking Zell and a dishevelled Quistis. An amused Rinoa kept her distance.
"All of you shut up. This is the first time we've had together in two months and you want to start it like this? A fight over one stupid comment? Get a grip. Apologise to each other when you realise what a bunch of asshole's you've been. Until then, get out and leave us in peace." He was very calm, but he was always at his most dangerous when he was calm.
The apologies started immediately.
"I'm sorry I said you were on a sugar rush. I know you're always like that. I was just trying to lighten the mood. It was too serious in here!"
"Hey man, I'm sorry I called you a chicken-wuss. Defending my maidens honour and all that."
"Quisty, I never meant to hurt your feelings. Its you business what you do with Zell and your whip! You were really scary; it's the first time I've seen you loose control! It was awesome! I think it was good for you, so I'm glad we had a fight! Does that mean I'm not sorry? But I am! But I'm not!"
"SELPHIE!" A chorus in unison.
She giggled, "Sorry!"
Quistis brushed the hair back from her eyes and tried to smooth herself down. "I'm sorry for calling you a hyper psycho bitch and telling you to shut up. You're right, it was good for me. I feel a bit more…free."
Zell turned to Squall. "We're all sorry that we did this to you both. And on our first proper day back as a gang as too! We suck, you're both great. Sorry again."
"It's ok. We're just glad you're talking civilly again and…" Rinoa was interrupted mid flow by a computer voice announcing,
"WE HAVE ARRIVED AT DESIGNATED CO-ORDINATES. PLEASE INPUT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS."
Selphie looked anxiously at Squall. "Will I go land?"
"Yeah. Lets do it."
