A/N: Please stay continued…There's an awesome surprise at the end of this chapter. Ohh…the suspense… Enjoy
Disclaimer: No, I do not own HP or anything else. But I do own something way better. See after chapter for details. :o)
Falling into Grace
Chapter Seven
Extent of Sin
"Maybe just for tonight
We can pretend it's all right"
--Nine Inch Nails, kinda I want to
The resident Gryffindors traveled up the stairs from the kitchens where they had gorged themselves on the cookies that Sirius made, and all other kinds of sweets the house elves shoved at them. What with all the sweets they had had earlier and then the new batch of them, they looked ready to be ill when they plopped down at the Gryffindor table for Christmas Brunch.
"I can't do it," Remus said, staring at his glass of orange juice. "Nasty sweet-overeating habit. I couldn't possibly eat another thing for twelve hours."
"You better be able to eat in twelve hours," Sirius said. "Because I'm making enchiladas for the – " he stopped suddenly, then winked at Remus. "The you-know-what."
"Are you having a party?" James asked.
"Of course not."
"Are you having a surprise party for James and me?" Lily asked. "Since it's our anniversary?"
"Shit!" Sirius exclaimed. "How do you do it?"
"I've been telling you this at least once a week: You're too predictable."
"Well, we'll act surprised for your sake," Sirius," James said, beaming. He clapped his best friend on the back.
Several hours later, James and Lily were brought back to their rooms to their "surprise" party. Gifts were given to them, and Sirius made a wonderful dinner for the fifth, sixth, and seventh year Gryffindors that attended, and a monstrous chocolate cake with two candles on it for two years in the running. He conjured several glasses of champagne and even more bottles. He grinned, seeing his peer's faces, knowing where this would be going. These poor dehydrated people, Sirius thought, starved for being smashed, but nothing for tolerance.
"I'd like to give the toast," he said, "since this party is my doing." He held up his glass full of golden bubbling liquid. "My father always used to toast this when he had parties: May you live three days in Heaven before the Devil realizes you're dead."
"Here, here!" cried everyone in the room before taking the first sip of their champagne.
After that, Sirius produced several more bottles of hard liquor. Where he had gotten all this, no one knew and he refused to say, so they just sucked up their liquor from the tiny little glasses, wondering what to do with such a small glass until they saw Sirius, the rebel as usual, lick the inside of his wrist, down the contents of a small glass, then chase it by squeezing lime juice onto his tongue. Everyone else knew what to do then.
The rest of the night consisted of what Lily considered an American teenage thing to do: getting shitfaced until you couldn't see any longer, then drinking some more. Perfectly logical, it seemed, especially at the time. Drinking games ran from the obscene to the complex, and James played all of them, while Sirius was busy playing Spin the Bottle (with an empty bottle of gin, as noted) and kissing half the girls at the party. Remus was the only one acting sober, or maybe he really was sober, considering that there might have been different alcohol tolerance levels for a werewolf. But he didn't say no to quite a few butterbeers or glasses of champagne. He even took two shots of dragon's blood – by far the most potent alcoholic drink in the wizarding world.
Lily was especially surprised at how many shots James knocked back. "This is our first drunken party ever," she said, trying to get information out of him without his knowing. "Seems people are handling it well." But James kept silent, not willing to inform Lily that he had spent that majority of the last year drunk or hung-over.
Several hours later, when the morning hours were approaching, everyone went back down to their dorms, whether by means of their own wobbly legs or someone else's, as there were a few people that had passed out on the couches in the sitting room. James and Lily stumbled wearily into their bedroom, skirting around a puddle of spilled something-or-other, they made sure that no one was trysting anywhere in their room, and then flopped into bed.
"Quite a success," Lily whispered into James's ear.
"Remind me never to do that again," he said.
"We'll kick Sirius's arse in the morning. It was his idea, remember?"
James nodded and yawned exhaustedly. He kissed his girlfriend softly before rolling over and falling into a drunken dream.
* * *
He had had to forget.
Two years.
He was happy for them. Happier than anyone else would be for them. But, god, he could not take it any longer. The way things were that morning when they opened up their Christmas presents, he wanted to die right then and there. From the pain of trying to hold himself back, and from the pleasure of thinking of all the things he could do to her while she was only wearing her thin nightgown with absolutely nothing on underneath.
So he had opted to drink, instead of sulk at the party, wishing that it was he instead of his best friend James standing there beside Lily; he had never been much of a drinker. But he drank one after another, until his fingers and toes tingled, until he couldn't feel his nose or his legs, until he kissed all the girls at the party except for the one he wanted so desperately to lay his lips on. He hoped all that would be a distraction to him, but it wasn't.
And here he was in bed, thinking about her again, staring into the blackness of his covered sanctuary. Seeing images in the darkness. Tousled hair, pouting lips, heated flesh. Whispering, moaning, screaming.
He rolled over to get the images out of his head. He loved looking at them, but he knew it was wrong. There was just a hormonal imbalance in his body right now, that was all; and the sole reason to his wanting her so much. Lily was like his sister, which sounded really wrong when he thought about it. But it was true. He had never wanted someone so much, so badly, that it was all he could do not to rip her clothing off every time she so much as looked at him.
But the oddest thing was not that he had never had feelings for her and all of a sudden did, but that he still didn't have any feelings for her in any kind of romantic way and still wanted her. That was the most confusing part about it.
He was stuck in the middle of something, and he hoped to whatever god was out there that he could get through this without attacking her. If it didn't pass over in a week, he'd go see Madam Pomfrey. If he didn't, he'd do something drastic.
He swallowed, afraid to think of what that might be…. He turned over again and felt himself floating into a dream state, where he saw her standing on the stairs, deliciously blocking his way up to his room. She wore a pretty little see-through nightgown, and red leather knickers showing plainly underneath.
One more dream can't hurt, he thought, opting against waking himself up. As long as it's a dream.
* * *
"This, my sweet, isn't working." He fondled the dazed girl's plait of auburn.
"I've tried, my Lord," she said.
"I know you have, my love, but he's a stupid boy too loyal to his friends. Ah, but I guess that's why we want him on our side, now isn't it?"
She could hear the emphasis on the word our. Maybe that was because she was going in and out of her stupor, her brain overloading with confused dreaming and confused reality.
"And it is his stupidity that is causing my impatience, therefore, the charm I've placed upon him isn't enough. We're going to have to take drastic measures. New Years Eve, my precious," he said with a kiss to her ear. "You will take your gift of powers to a higher level and do my will." He looked off into the east, over the trees, where the sky was becoming the gray of morning.
"Yes, Lily, my darling, Sirius Black will be mine, and James Potter will follow on a silver platter."
* * *
New Years Eve brought the second night of the full moon, and a torturous hell for Sirius. All day he couldn't even look at Lily without getting indecent thoughts in his head. He wanted her so bad that it hurt. He ached for her so much that a physical aching came about and he was cursed with a hideous stomachache. This meant that he was too ill, despite his protesting, to go down to the Shrieking Shack and transform with the rest of his mates.
So, when 11:30 pm rolled around, Sirius was looking gloomily out the window at the Forbidden Forest, wondering if the three were having a grand old time, while he stood there, freezing in the common room with his hands on his roiling stomach. He was nauseous for sure, and he couldn't stand there forever, so he gently lied on the squashy sofa.
He felt like he was going to die. He hadn't felt that way since he broke every bone in his body at age seven when his father had placed a broomstick between his legs and pushed him off the ledge of their Irish castle – his father's way of teaching him how to ride a broomstick. Or was it when Snape pulled down his trousers in third year during Care of Magical Creatures? He couldn't remember, nor did he want to rattle his brain (or stomach) thinking about it.
Another wave of nausea hit him and he squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating on the black of nothingness. A few seconds later, he opened his eyes and looked around the common room. It was still dark, but the fire in the grate looked much larger and…had the pendulum on the grandfather clock stop working?
He stood instantly and fell back down again, dizzy. He tried again, this time steadying himself on the back of the couch and made his way slowly to the staircase so he could spend the rest of the miserable night in his own bed. But, he found that someone blocked the staircase.
And that someone was a nightgown-clad Lily Evans. And, oh was that nightgown very, very translucent. She was standing upon the third stair, so she was slightly higher than he, and she was in a very seductive pose, showing her bare breasts and risqué knickers through the fabric.
"Li – Lily?"
His mouth had gone dry. This was his ultimate fantasy. Was this real? Or was it only a dream for the hundredth time? She was certainly wearing what she always had in his dreams, but there was something different about this Lily – something real.
As if on cue, Lily leaned forward, the way she had hundreds of times every night, and pressed her lips to him. Her lips made his tingle, a sign that she was more real than he expected. She opened her mouth under his, licking his lips, flicking her tongue against his teeth, she wrapped her arms around his neck.
Oh my god, Merlin's beard…If this was a dream, he did not want to wake up.
He put his arms around her waist and pushed her up the stairs to his dorm. Then he stopped, realizing something.
Lily was real. This wasn't a dream – he could tell be the way his lips tingled when they kissed, by the exotic heat emanating from her, her scent of sunflowers. She was never warm or smelled sweet in his dreams.
"Don't ask questions," she whispered in his ear, her warm breath tickling his ear. God, he wanted her so bad, but if he didn't stop now, it'd be the point of no return….
She didn't seem to mind while pulling him up the stone steps. Once inside his dorm, Lily turned and locked the door with a charm. Sirius's stomach churned and he doubled over.
"My stomach," he groaned.
"Get rid of it," Lily said. "You caused your own stomachache, now get rid of it."
Sirius closed his eyes and concentrated as hard as he could on making his stomach feeling better. And, strangely enough, it had stopped. He opened his eyes and looked at Lily, who was beaming at him. She winked before tugging the hem of her nightgown over her head. She stood before him only in her red leather knickers.
Perhaps this was a dream. Lily would never think about owning a pair of sexy little panties like that, let alone wear a pair. And red leather was his fantasy, not her reality.
Why the hell are you even worrying about this right now? his brain, suffering from rapid blood loss, screamed. Maybe his obscure thoughts from the day were turning into obscure dreams, making everything seem more real. Possibly his body craved so much that it made it more real than ever.
That was it, he decided; it was his last thought before losing all of them and giving in to touching her, kissing her. He tasted her, worshipped her. She was unlike anything he had ever known. And when she couldn't take anymore of the sweet, torturous bliss, she pulled him into her. Then they were no longer at Hogwarts, but just there, with only each other and the stars and echoes surrounding them, filling them.
When they returned to Hogwarts, sated and sweaty, the clock in the corner of the dorm chimed midnight. Lily smiled chillingly and whispered in his ear, "Happy New Year."
"To think that some people just get a kiss on New Year's," Sirius murmured back, situating Lily in his arms.
For the first time in a long time, he felt absolutely perfect.
* * *
When Sirius opened his eyes again, he looked around the room at his surroundings. He frowned. It seemed he was back on the couch, and the grandfather clock in the corner of the room indicated it was five minutes after midnight.
No, he wasn't back on the couch – he had never left it. The realness of the dream must have been from a pain-induced slumber. Just another dream. He didn't know whether to rejoice or sulk. It was amazing – simply the best on the sex scale. Sirius smiled at the thought of rating a dream, and decided he should get up to his bed.
He stood slowly, trying to get his slackened muscles to work, hoping his stomach wouldn't start hurting again. As he stood, something fell from his lap to the floor and he slowly bent over to pick up the item. He dropped it instantly when he realized what it was.
"Oh. My. God."
* * *
When Sirius awoke again from his ten-minute sleeping spurt – which he had been doing all night – he could hear Peter and Remus stumbling into the room. There was the sound of shuffling, then silence, followed by the sound of sniffing.
"What is it?" Peter asked.
Sirius felt under his pillow to see if the item was still under there.
"Nothing," Remus replied. It was a clear lie.
Sirius pulled back his hangings. Remus turned his head and looked at him sharply.
"Are you feeling better?" Peter asked.
"Much, thanks. Did you guys have fun?"
"Not as much as you," Remus replied, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, nursing a stomachache," Peter said.
"That wasn't all he was nursing," Remus said. Sirius scowled at him. Damn werewolf senses – he could probably smell Lily, smell other things.
Peter left to take a shower, and all that was left was the thick silence between Remus and Sirius. Was he going to comment? Sirius wondered, slightly panicked. Remus just kept sniffing, knitting his eyebrows. Sirius wondered what was wrong.
Remus knew exactly what was wrong. He thought it smelled like Lily – it certainly was her perfume, but there was the difference in the smell of hormones. Sweat, sex, Sirius, and a confusing smell of Lily.
He knew, but he kept his mouth shut. And as he did, he could smell the fear on Sirius, emanating like an acrid perfume. He knew that he knew, but he wasn't going to say anything either.
* * *
At breakfast, the discomfort continued, or at least for Sirius it did. It seemed to him that no one else had even an inkling about what happened last night, other than himself and Remus, which was really strange that it was only those two, because Lily seemed completely cheerful – more so than usual – and kissed James openly in front of Sirius, not even showing that they were having any problems, like they had been before.
Sirius had never been subject to hallucinations before, and he was damned if last night was one! Remus knew, he could smell it, of course. But Lily was completely unaware.
When the bell rang for the start of the first class after winter holiday, Sirius grabbed Lily's arm and stated rather loudly something about asking her about an assignment. Lily looked confused but nodded and followed Sirius out of the Great Hall and far away from any eavesdroppers.
"What assign-"
"Um…yeah, I wanted to talk to you about last night."
"Last night?" Lily echoed.
"I don't know what happened or what caused it to happen, but I realize it was a one-time thing. Christ, it was the best experience of my life."
"What are you – ?"
"I mean, that was the most amazing, mind-blowing sex that we had."
"You and what army?" she asked, folding her arms under her breasts. Luscious, he decided last night. Soft and warm and –
He stopped himself and pondered Lily's question. "What?" he asked, deciding he didn't understand.
"You and who?" Sirius blinked.
"Lily, are you ill?"
"No, the question is, are you ill?"
"I know what happened. I'm sure you don't want anyone to find out. I'm not going to say anything – like I said, I realize it was one-time thing."
"Sirius, what are you talking about?"
"Last night. You and me."
At this, Lily laughed. "Only in your dreams!"
Sirius scowled. He had proof that it wasn't a dream. "It wasn't a dream!" Exasperated, he pulled the pair of red leather knickers from out of his pocket, the same pair that he found in the common room and hid under his pillow. "How did I get these then?" Lily's eyes widened, whether from recognition or shock, or possibly from horror, he didn't know. "I found them on me, Lily. You left them."
"Sirius, you're starting to scare me."
"God, Lily. It was beautiful." He touched a stray strand of her auburn mane. You were beautiful. You are beautiful."
Lily backed a few steps away.
"I'm going now, Sirius. If you plan on speaking to me again, I suggest you visit Madam Pomfrey first." She turned and started walking away rather swiftly.
"I know what I saw, Lily!" Sirius called at her retreating back. "You can't deny it!"
A few fourth year Hufflepuffs passed, eyeing Sirius nervously. He just glared at the young students and walked off the opposite direction, hoping against hope that whatever those damn nosy Hufflepuffs overheard wouldn't turn into a vicious rumor.
* * *
Lily sat on her bed, thinking. Thinking, thinking, thinking until her brain hurt. The matter? If only it was a simple no to the question. But it wasn't.
She couldn't deny it.
She had no recollection of last night with Sirius, but there was the extremely small fact that that those were her knickers he had. How shocked she had been when he pulled those out! Had she slept with him? Well, he seemed to think so, and Sirius wouldn't lie to sabotage his best friends' lives. He'd go over to the Dark Side before doing that. And everyone knew he'd die before that.
But would he? Had she been drugged? It hadn't felt like it, for sure; but then again, how could she tell?
She knew that Sirius had been feeling certain ways towards her lately, but she didn't think he'd take that much trouble for her. Not stubborn old Sirius. Fight to the death before giving in, he always said.
But there was something nagging at her brain, saying, "He needs help…New Years Eve…" She clearly didn't remember someone telling her that. It was a man's voice…someone she knew and trusted quite well, she could tell, but couldn't place it. According to the nagging voice, did that mean that she went to his bed out of the goodness of her heart to ease his troubles?
She slapped her hands on her thighs in frustration and felt a sharp pain. She shifted in order to lift up her pleated skirt to investigate the trouble. At the top of her left inner thigh was a neat, green bruise in the shape of a bite mark.
And she remembered.
* * *
A/N: Grr…. I hate endings. They frustrate me as much as they do you. Sorry for the delay. I've had a lot of stuff going on lately, but finally, it's all passed and I'm out of school for the summer! Yay me!
Ahem… Anyway. On to the thanks-yous! And I have to apologize that they're short, but I'm just so damn excited!!!
* * *
Jen – I'm glad you "love this story". I kind of like it too. *grins*
Zetta – Ready to break out some more champagne bottles? *giggles madly*
Aileron – Hi there! Sorry I've been distant lately… Thanks for the wonderful words!
Jonna – Great guess! You're right!
Killer Angel
everblue3 – I'm glad that you enjoy my writing. But what don't you agree with me on? *confused grin*
Kat
UnforgivenChild
Ozgurl
Quack Quack 86
Unicornjewel
* * *
THANK YOU!!!!
* * *
Exciting news:
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ATTENTION, PLEASE!
Zetta (Author of "Winding Path") and I have joined forces and created a kick-ass mailing list, called the Lazy MWPP Writers. Our aim is to create a place where MWPP fans can talk about their fics, their faves, their artwork, and All-Things MWPP! Zetta and I both enjoy being lazy and bouncing ideas off each other, and one day we decided that there should be a club for people like us – people who have all those ideas in their heads and are too lazy to start writing, or are too lazy to think of any killer fic ideas – thus, lazymwppwriters was created. You can join by emailing us at lazymwppwriters@yahoogroups.com or you can click on my profile and click the happy link that will take you right to our beautiful page. (And some of you will get/have gotten an email invitation from us; and if you haven't, that does not mean that you aren't welcome to join!) Come check it out!
