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Ironic Trust
-Pai-
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She was a broken woman, any one with eyes could see that easily. Her once lively blue eyes were dead and lifeless. At the beginning there had been blazing anger in them, even fear was better than this. Then she had looked at her friends and servants with her normal life, only shadows haunting her gaze. The shadows had increased. She looked straight through her friends, servants, family, everyone. Most of all, him. She seemed not to recognize her friends, responding offhandedly in a dead voice. With him it was worse, she didn't honor him with a response for anything and he felt that any longer and she may have gone mute to everyone. The broken look in her eyes, the pain, anguish, anger, and fear were all gone. He doubted she would have eaten or cleaned herself if her unbelievably loyal servant and Bodyguard Sango did not remind and help her with each task. He took this for what it was. A woman whom had not a life, whom cared not whether she was alive or dead. Niether could be worse than the other. Finally, he realized that he had been the one to do it to her. He had broken the young, spirited girl. It haunted him day and night. He found himself hurting her jsut to try for a reaction. He also knew that if she concieved she would kill the child because she would not care or know how not to. Merely not pushing the baby from her body could kill it, but what did she care? That was just it, she didn't care at all. He found that something inside himself was dying aswell though he couldn't imagine how that could be.
It had began when he had seen the enchanting princess as she wove flowers into her hair. She was magnificent with her waist length ebony lockes. Her spirited blue eyes attracted him to their intellegence and mere love for life. He had lusted after her. She was not a weak Lady, she hunted with her father and his men, and she practiced archery. She was a woman to look proudly upon at his side. As Lord of the Western lands, he had a right to put in a bid for her. He did so. She had met him with michief in her eyes, her hips swaying, her full lips quirked. Unaware of her own affect, she had only been 16, and absolutely stunning. A miko, she had the ability to give birth to a full youkai heir, so she was acceptable. He had courted her, basked in the light that was her love as it came to be for him. When she had blushingly accepted his proposel her father had agreed. The lands had all agreed that this was a match made in heaven. The miko to tame the young taiyoukai's heart, and the female youkai had swooned at the way they looked lovingly at each other. He made the first mistake. Well, he had actually made all the mistakes. If he ooked back on it now he realized that they had indeed all been his. He gazed upon her as she sat a lifeless corpse in her seat, unmoving at all, staring blankly through everyone. He let his gaze rest on her as he remembered everything that had happened, how he had hurt her so fully, he closed his eyes momentarily, remembering.
'Please, Sess, I am still untouched, be gentle...' She had gazed at him with unfaltering trust. He had never noticed his hanyou brother's jealous eyes gazing 'pon her, another mistake. He had done as she asked, but it would be one of the last times he would ever be gentle with her, or even attempt it. He remebered her slight pain, but the way she had trusted him, then because a passion filled wild-cat. He nearly smiled at that memory. It had lasted for about a week before the first mistake came to pass. Inu-Yasha grabbed Kagome from the hall as I had left to partoll. I did not know of my mate's ditress. I had given her my mark, she was untouchable unless one wished a swift death. My hanyou half brother obviously did. He had rebitten over my own mark, and had raped her, slicing her up,m though that I would not notice until later. When I returned I foudn her sitting in out room staring blankly at the wall, As she saw me her haunted eyes lit up a fraction, but I wouldn't notice this until later. My eyes were red in anger, all I noticed was the scent of Inu-yasha all over her. I shredded her clothes, oblivious to her horror, checking her marking, it had been remarked. I slashed skin from bone on her shoulder where it met her neck. I would never forget the bone shattering scream that ripped through her. She would have died probably had she not been a miko. I was a fool.
I was blind to her own harm, I myself raped her, oblivious to her sobs, screams, and anguish. I left her in all her bloody glory. Calmed later, only then did I realize what details I had missed. She herself was unconscious when I went back to the room, Sango left only when I threathened her by leaving a gash down her arm. My mate's wounds were from another besides myself, obviously they were not wounds made out oflove. I winced as I saw her shoulder, the sheets around her were soaked in blood. His clawed fingers carressed her cheek lovingly. What had he done? Sitting her up, slicing open his own arm and dripping the blood into his mate. Hai, she would become a youkai because of her miko blood, but he wished only to save her. Then he licked all of her wounds, watching as they healed under his healing tongue. He never lef this side, but when she awoke she tensed and stared at him like a frightened rabbit. She moved not an inch, but couldn't seem to make herself relax. She had been afraid of him, but this was when she had acted somewhat normal to the others. It was when she had become a youkai completely that she had seemed to cave in upon herself, first with immense anger, then not seeming to care anymore.
THen he did the final injury, he tryed to bed her once more, she was afterall his mate. She was limp, unmoving, unresponding. It enraged him. She was fertile, and he was lusting so powerfully he lost control. He practicly had raped her again, but after that she had lost all life. Everynight it was the same, she was unmoving if he tried anything, but he didn't do anything resembling something someone could call rape anymore. She had broken him aswell, he now realized that fact. Without meaning to in truth _he_ had broken himself. He watched her for the millionth time, the picture seemed lodged in his head as he saw her trust break when he had thought she had mated with another. He wondered what kind of monster it made him to have broken a person without a single malevolent thought in thier head. He nearly wished himself dead. If he hadn't been a youkai, he would have. The one single time he had seen her show emotion since then was the time he had taken his single concubine, Kikyo, oddly enough it was to save her any pain. Unfortunatly it worked in the reverse. It was then she had seemingly become mute, she had cried when he ad walked in, Kikyo all over him. Strangely enough it was emotionless crying, which bothered him. SHe seemed not to notice that she was crying, and even the look in her eyes had remained the same.
He had to change this. He had gotten rid of Kikyo the next morning. He couldn't hurt her again. He wouldn't. He truly loved her. At this thought he walked over to her, and draged her limp form from the party. The guests could entertain themselves. Miroku could take care of everything else. He closed his door behind them, then came up behind his still mate, resting his chin on her head, inhaling her magnificent scent, even now. His powerful arms wrapped around her. He would do anything for her at this point, he realized. He kissed her earlobe, working down to her neck. They were all soft, gentle kisses. Loving ones. He spun her around to face him, her blank eyes haunted him. He kissed her forhead, her nose, then his lips brushed hers for a fleeting instant. He stripped her of her clothing and laid her on the bed and merely looked at her. He had given her the mark when he had seemingly raped her the second time. He knew everyone thought that when Inu-yasha had raped her, it had been him. He didn't care anymore. Stripping himself he crawled into bed wiht her, covered them both up, then merely rested hi head over her heart beat, his powerfull arms curled around her, one leg drapped over both of hers. 'Gomen...Kagome...' The words were meant for her alone, though he doubted her ability to hear them.
He awoke with her bodt shaking slightly with barely contained sobs, her own arms loosly around his torso. He found himself cradling her as months of emotion swept upon her now. Then he sensed her need and stroked her face lovingly, kissing her gently, but passionately. His clawed fingers rn through her hair as she did the same to him. he stroked the marks on her face, identical to his own, tracing them. She mimiced him. Then he leaned down, nibbling on her now pointed ear lobe while she stroked his arms and chest. He found him making up for so long. There was no need for any such foreplay, she needed him and was ready when he couldn't contain himself any longer. Still, he entered her slowly, she herself arching her back, pulling him deeper. And so the true mating ritual began. Her trust someone reestablished by just a few words. 'I love you Kagome...Gome, truly...' She smiled trustingly up at him 'Arigato, my love, for healing me. I feared I was lost within myself...' It was over. Months of pain and agony all gone with this one night. Carressing her face, cuddling her to his chest. They were as much one as possible. A brief kiss, before both fell into the willing embrace of slumber. A single tear shed from her eye as she was smiling in her sleep. Had anyone thoguht love was truly that strong? Well it was, he realized that now.
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A/N: Alright....well I was for some reason angsty..and I was listening to Big Machine by the Goo Goo dolls... 0o;; Odd, ne? I dunno...the person that gave the the inspiration is profiler120 with thier fic : 'UNhappy house' Similar but definitely NOT the same. Besides the fact that I'm not sure mine is half hers's length. Anyway, I plan on this being a one shot, but leme know what you think. Flames are good for marshmellows n.n; Hmm and if You liked this then read my Songfic, I Am. Its kinda InuXKag...but really not romance related. I dunno. But its really REALLY angsty too n.n R&R
Ironic Trust
-Pai-
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She was a broken woman, any one with eyes could see that easily. Her once lively blue eyes were dead and lifeless. At the beginning there had been blazing anger in them, even fear was better than this. Then she had looked at her friends and servants with her normal life, only shadows haunting her gaze. The shadows had increased. She looked straight through her friends, servants, family, everyone. Most of all, him. She seemed not to recognize her friends, responding offhandedly in a dead voice. With him it was worse, she didn't honor him with a response for anything and he felt that any longer and she may have gone mute to everyone. The broken look in her eyes, the pain, anguish, anger, and fear were all gone. He doubted she would have eaten or cleaned herself if her unbelievably loyal servant and Bodyguard Sango did not remind and help her with each task. He took this for what it was. A woman whom had not a life, whom cared not whether she was alive or dead. Niether could be worse than the other. Finally, he realized that he had been the one to do it to her. He had broken the young, spirited girl. It haunted him day and night. He found himself hurting her jsut to try for a reaction. He also knew that if she concieved she would kill the child because she would not care or know how not to. Merely not pushing the baby from her body could kill it, but what did she care? That was just it, she didn't care at all. He found that something inside himself was dying aswell though he couldn't imagine how that could be.
It had began when he had seen the enchanting princess as she wove flowers into her hair. She was magnificent with her waist length ebony lockes. Her spirited blue eyes attracted him to their intellegence and mere love for life. He had lusted after her. She was not a weak Lady, she hunted with her father and his men, and she practiced archery. She was a woman to look proudly upon at his side. As Lord of the Western lands, he had a right to put in a bid for her. He did so. She had met him with michief in her eyes, her hips swaying, her full lips quirked. Unaware of her own affect, she had only been 16, and absolutely stunning. A miko, she had the ability to give birth to a full youkai heir, so she was acceptable. He had courted her, basked in the light that was her love as it came to be for him. When she had blushingly accepted his proposel her father had agreed. The lands had all agreed that this was a match made in heaven. The miko to tame the young taiyoukai's heart, and the female youkai had swooned at the way they looked lovingly at each other. He made the first mistake. Well, he had actually made all the mistakes. If he ooked back on it now he realized that they had indeed all been his. He gazed upon her as she sat a lifeless corpse in her seat, unmoving at all, staring blankly through everyone. He let his gaze rest on her as he remembered everything that had happened, how he had hurt her so fully, he closed his eyes momentarily, remembering.
'Please, Sess, I am still untouched, be gentle...' She had gazed at him with unfaltering trust. He had never noticed his hanyou brother's jealous eyes gazing 'pon her, another mistake. He had done as she asked, but it would be one of the last times he would ever be gentle with her, or even attempt it. He remebered her slight pain, but the way she had trusted him, then because a passion filled wild-cat. He nearly smiled at that memory. It had lasted for about a week before the first mistake came to pass. Inu-Yasha grabbed Kagome from the hall as I had left to partoll. I did not know of my mate's ditress. I had given her my mark, she was untouchable unless one wished a swift death. My hanyou half brother obviously did. He had rebitten over my own mark, and had raped her, slicing her up,m though that I would not notice until later. When I returned I foudn her sitting in out room staring blankly at the wall, As she saw me her haunted eyes lit up a fraction, but I wouldn't notice this until later. My eyes were red in anger, all I noticed was the scent of Inu-yasha all over her. I shredded her clothes, oblivious to her horror, checking her marking, it had been remarked. I slashed skin from bone on her shoulder where it met her neck. I would never forget the bone shattering scream that ripped through her. She would have died probably had she not been a miko. I was a fool.
I was blind to her own harm, I myself raped her, oblivious to her sobs, screams, and anguish. I left her in all her bloody glory. Calmed later, only then did I realize what details I had missed. She herself was unconscious when I went back to the room, Sango left only when I threathened her by leaving a gash down her arm. My mate's wounds were from another besides myself, obviously they were not wounds made out oflove. I winced as I saw her shoulder, the sheets around her were soaked in blood. His clawed fingers carressed her cheek lovingly. What had he done? Sitting her up, slicing open his own arm and dripping the blood into his mate. Hai, she would become a youkai because of her miko blood, but he wished only to save her. Then he licked all of her wounds, watching as they healed under his healing tongue. He never lef this side, but when she awoke she tensed and stared at him like a frightened rabbit. She moved not an inch, but couldn't seem to make herself relax. She had been afraid of him, but this was when she had acted somewhat normal to the others. It was when she had become a youkai completely that she had seemed to cave in upon herself, first with immense anger, then not seeming to care anymore.
THen he did the final injury, he tryed to bed her once more, she was afterall his mate. She was limp, unmoving, unresponding. It enraged him. She was fertile, and he was lusting so powerfully he lost control. He practicly had raped her again, but after that she had lost all life. Everynight it was the same, she was unmoving if he tried anything, but he didn't do anything resembling something someone could call rape anymore. She had broken him aswell, he now realized that fact. Without meaning to in truth _he_ had broken himself. He watched her for the millionth time, the picture seemed lodged in his head as he saw her trust break when he had thought she had mated with another. He wondered what kind of monster it made him to have broken a person without a single malevolent thought in thier head. He nearly wished himself dead. If he hadn't been a youkai, he would have. The one single time he had seen her show emotion since then was the time he had taken his single concubine, Kikyo, oddly enough it was to save her any pain. Unfortunatly it worked in the reverse. It was then she had seemingly become mute, she had cried when he ad walked in, Kikyo all over him. Strangely enough it was emotionless crying, which bothered him. SHe seemed not to notice that she was crying, and even the look in her eyes had remained the same.
He had to change this. He had gotten rid of Kikyo the next morning. He couldn't hurt her again. He wouldn't. He truly loved her. At this thought he walked over to her, and draged her limp form from the party. The guests could entertain themselves. Miroku could take care of everything else. He closed his door behind them, then came up behind his still mate, resting his chin on her head, inhaling her magnificent scent, even now. His powerful arms wrapped around her. He would do anything for her at this point, he realized. He kissed her earlobe, working down to her neck. They were all soft, gentle kisses. Loving ones. He spun her around to face him, her blank eyes haunted him. He kissed her forhead, her nose, then his lips brushed hers for a fleeting instant. He stripped her of her clothing and laid her on the bed and merely looked at her. He had given her the mark when he had seemingly raped her the second time. He knew everyone thought that when Inu-yasha had raped her, it had been him. He didn't care anymore. Stripping himself he crawled into bed wiht her, covered them both up, then merely rested hi head over her heart beat, his powerfull arms curled around her, one leg drapped over both of hers. 'Gomen...Kagome...' The words were meant for her alone, though he doubted her ability to hear them.
He awoke with her bodt shaking slightly with barely contained sobs, her own arms loosly around his torso. He found himself cradling her as months of emotion swept upon her now. Then he sensed her need and stroked her face lovingly, kissing her gently, but passionately. His clawed fingers rn through her hair as she did the same to him. he stroked the marks on her face, identical to his own, tracing them. She mimiced him. Then he leaned down, nibbling on her now pointed ear lobe while she stroked his arms and chest. He found him making up for so long. There was no need for any such foreplay, she needed him and was ready when he couldn't contain himself any longer. Still, he entered her slowly, she herself arching her back, pulling him deeper. And so the true mating ritual began. Her trust someone reestablished by just a few words. 'I love you Kagome...Gome, truly...' She smiled trustingly up at him 'Arigato, my love, for healing me. I feared I was lost within myself...' It was over. Months of pain and agony all gone with this one night. Carressing her face, cuddling her to his chest. They were as much one as possible. A brief kiss, before both fell into the willing embrace of slumber. A single tear shed from her eye as she was smiling in her sleep. Had anyone thoguht love was truly that strong? Well it was, he realized that now.
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A/N: Alright....well I was for some reason angsty..and I was listening to Big Machine by the Goo Goo dolls... 0o;; Odd, ne? I dunno...the person that gave the the inspiration is profiler120 with thier fic : 'UNhappy house' Similar but definitely NOT the same. Besides the fact that I'm not sure mine is half hers's length. Anyway, I plan on this being a one shot, but leme know what you think. Flames are good for marshmellows n.n; Hmm and if You liked this then read my Songfic, I Am. Its kinda InuXKag...but really not romance related. I dunno. But its really REALLY angsty too n.n R&R
