Disclaimer: This is the last ever disclaimer, as I'm sure you all know by now that Squaresoft own Final Fantasy and I own very little. What I do own is certainly not Final Fantasy rights!

Nobody said it was easy,

Nobody said it would be so damn hard.

The Scientist – Coldplay

Lesca stood watching the ceremony dully, the numbness she felt helping her to deal with grim reality. Cid drew her close to him as he wept softly, the small gathering feeling the pain of the man who had never before shed a tear in the presence of others. She just stood, her grief raw and her tears spent as they lit candles in memory of her son, her ray of hope. The light had been extinguished.

She ran on instinct, eyes unseeing, ears unable to hear the condolences or soothing words. After what seemed like an eternity it was over and they filed out, leaving the bereaved to suffer the hurt in peace. Her footsteps echoed in the dim room as she walked over to the small plaque they had erected in her son's memory. Lesca ran a hand over it lightly, the bronze metal stabbing at her heart as she burned the image into her mind. She had to remember until the end, until welcome and invited death came to swallow her sorrow. Cid watched as she cupped her hand around the candle, blowing it out gently. As the candle flickered, flaming intensely for an instant before dying completely, the sob caught in her throat. Just like this, I let his life be snuffed out. He burned brightly, for such a short time. It's all my fault, Aleron and I am so sorry my darling. I should've been able to protect you; I should have been able to keep you safe from harm. I failed. Though it is no consolation I will never forgive myself. I'll be with you soon, sweetheart.

She sank to her knee's, keening quietly for her child as the numbness subsided to leave her at the unforgiving mercies of guilt and grief. Cid knelt beside her, a soothing hand rubbing tiny circles on her back. Lesca leaned against him heavily, allowing him to help bear her burden if in only this small way.

"Why did he have to go?" Lesca choked out the words, the tears leaving tell tale lines on her pale cheeks.

Cid shook his head, stroking her hair as her father had once done. "I don't know, Lescy. Some say "only the good die young". Maybe he was too good for this forsaken world."

"It hurts so much." She whispered.

He sighed, the words hard to form. "I know. But you will get through this. You're still so young, there's plenty of time for more children."

Lesca laughed bitterly. "Not on the path I've chosen."

The older Al Bhed pulled back from her slightly, searching the verdant eyes. "What do you mean?"

She looked distant; almost dreamy as she announced her intentions so softly he had to strain to hear. "I'm going to follow in my fathers path. I'm going to become a summoner."

Cid narrowed his eyes, unable to believe the words even as they left her lips. "What? You have to be joking…"

"You think I would really joke on today of all days?"

He cradled his head in his hands as he tried to understand the workings of her mind. "For the sake of the God's, Lesca! Did Braska breed his death wish into you as well?"

Lesca smiled sadly. "I always said I understood why he did it. I can't go on Cid; I've lost everything. My husband, my child…he was the only thing that kept me going. Now that he's been taken from me too, I don't want to cope with the pain of living anymore.

I long for death; do you know what that feel's like? It's shit and I hate myself for it, but I can't help it. I want to die. I want revenge. What better way to achieve my only goals in what remains of my pitiful existence than to defeat Sin? That way, Spira gets its calm once more and I achieve my dreams."

Her uncle's eyes flashed angrily and he sliced his hand through the air. "What about Yuna? What about Rikku, Brother and me? You still have a responsibility to your family, Lesca, whether you like it or not!"

"I'm still going, whether you like it or not. I'll go with or without your blessing, uncle. I'd rather go with, but if it comes to it I'm prepared to die in disgrace."

Cid pulled her toward him, hugging her fiercely. "You're a damn fool."

She nodded her head, chewing her bottom lip. "I know. Cid?"

"What?"

The younger woman hesitated, fearful to ask the question. "Will you, will you be my Guardian? I want you to be there…until the end."

He gritted his teeth, exhaling loudly. "How can you ask this of me? I can't…I…I'd be honoured."

His shoulders sagged as he realised he had just committed his niece to a death sentence and she was happy about it. She grinned for the first time in a week, some of the familiar sparkle returning and he felt his heart ache. My niece is ecstatic at the prospect of untimely death. There's no mistaking it's a sad world we live in.

~*~*~

"What the hell are you doing?"

Auron surveyed the room in horror. Foam covered the sink; blood mingling with the creamy white substance as it ran freely from several minor abrasions on Tidus' face. The boy eyed him in the mirror, not even bothering to turn round as he took the razor to his chin again.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm shaving." Tidus rolled his eyes as though it was perfectly normal for a ten-year-old boy to be shaving a hairless face.

Auron advanced on the boy, snatching the razor from his hands before he could do any more damage. He spoke softly, the tone belying the danger Tidus faced. "Why are you shaving?"

Tidus pointed proudly to a single hair on his cheek. The older man peered closely at it, before plucking the eyelash from the skin. He held it up for the boy to survey, raising an eyebrow as he did so. Auron rubbed his own chin, grimacing at the stubble that had grown since he shaved that morning. He cursed the child, wishing his own face were still as smooth as when he had first arrived in Zanarkand. Tidus crossed his arms sullenly as Auron dabbed at his face with a towel, removing the last traces of froth.

"It's not fair! I need to learn how to do this stuff and you won't let me!"

Auron gritted his teeth, trying to ignore the boy's tone. "I'll teach you when you actually need to know how to do it. You're still a child, stop trying to grow up so fast."

"What age are you now anyway, old man?" The boy sneered.

"I turned twenty one a few months back."

Tidus grinned at him with a worrying glint in his eye. "You're not even old enough to be my dad! I don't have to listen to you!"

Auron rolled his good eye, cursing Jecht yet again. "Yes, you do. I might not be old enough to be your father, but I'm still older than you are. I've had a hell of a lot more experience than you have; I know how the world works. Don't question my judgement, boy."

"Don't call me that!"

"Fine. Tidus, you'll be ready to learn many things soon enough and you'll have to pick them up quickly. But, for the time being, be happy with your life; enjoy your childhood. You won't get this time again. Don't throw it away." Auron sighed softly, remembering the hard lessons he had been taught at Tidus' age.

"Auron, tell me about yourself. Please?"

"You have Blitzball practice now."

The boy puffed out his chest. "Ah, I can miss one night. I am better than any of the rest of them."

Auron walked to the living room with Tidus hot on his heels. He sank into a chair and glanced at Tidus who was looking at him expectantly. He chuckled lightly. "What do you want to know?"

"Well…what were you like at my age?"

The warrior stretched out, feeling the knotted muscles groan in protest. "I was quiet, nothing like you. I was in training to become a monk."

Tidus considered the statement. "Where?"

"A place far from here, you won't know of it. Bevelle."

The blue eyes regarded him quizzically. "You're not used to talking to kids, are ya?"

Auron shook his head. "No, I'm not."

"But you were a kid too!"

"I wasn't good at being a child. I much prefer being an adult."

Tidus giggled, the older mans statement ringing true. "How did you meet your wife?"

Auron looked at him in shock before composing himself. "I didn't think you'd remember about that. I told you so long ago, I thought you'd have forgotten.

Tidus raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well, you can't even remember what you had for dinner last night."

"Well, I only remember important stuff. Tell me, where, when, who!" Jecht's son rubbed his hands together gleefully.

Auron hesitated, the pain flashing in his eyes briefly as he began to speak. "Her name was Lesca. I, I met her in Bevelle. She was mourning the loss of her mother; I was considering a proposal of marriage. She swayed me from what would have been the biggest mistake of my life." So I made a bigger mistake that led to my death.

He grinned, remembering the scrap of paper that had changed his life. "She asked why I would throw my life away on a loveless marriage. She said I was too young…" He laughed lightly. "We got married a few days later. It was kismet. I accompanied her father on a journey and…I could not return to her. The last time I saw her was the morning after our wedding. I decided to fulfil my promise to your father and guard you until you could fend for yourself. That's why I'm here, that's my story."

"It's not happy, is it?"

Auron shrugged his shoulders. "Not all stories have a happy ending. I hope that your story does."

~*~*~

Lesca savoured the sights and sounds of Bevelle, the drug that was city life intoxicating her. She caught sight of the temple, steeling herself to enter as she stared resolutely at the cobbled stones. Cid noticed the hesitation as she neared Yevon's sanctum and took her arm.

"You don't need to do this you know? Nobody will think any less of you if you quit this fool's path."

Her reply was simple and eloquent. "I want to."

She entered the monument, smiling at the sight of her father's statue. A priest approached her, a frown on his face.

"Can I help you?"

Lesca nodded, pointing to the representation of her father. "I'm the daughter of High Summoner Braska. I wish to follow in his footsteps and become a summoner. I want to rid Spira of sorrow."

"You understand that the training will be arduous before you can even attempt to bond with your first aeon? You must learn the skills of the white mage, the use of weaponry…"

"I know and I am willing. I want to give my life for the greater good. Please, train me."

The priest sighed. "Very well."

~*~*~

"I don't want it." Lesca folded her arms, refusing to touch the proffered item.

The monk entrusted with her training, Kinoc, rolled his eyes. "You need a weapon Lesca. This is the weapon of the summoner."

She pouted, muttering darkly. "I don't want a damn staff."

Kinoc flung his arms in the air. "You cannot rely on the aeons entirely! What are you going to do if you cannot summon? Attack the fiends with your rapier sharp wit?"

The woman grinned. "Well, it can cut you to the quick. What's wrong with my fists?"

"It is not becoming for a summoner to pummel a fiend with her limbs."

He offered her the staff again and she snatched it, grumbling at the indignity. He laughed before composing himself.

"We have some weak fiends in the training room. Let us see how you fare."

A wasp buzzed in front of her menacingly and Kinoc watched in interest to see how she would combat the threat. Cid pulled at his collar, unsure as to whether he should intervene. He nudged the monk who looked at him in irritation.

"Do ya do this to every summoner?"

"We do. The summoner needs to learn to defend themselves."

Cid scratched his head. "Isn't that what the Guardian is there for?"

Kinoc sighed in annoyance. "Your job as Guardian is to make sure the summoner completes the pilgrimage by safeguarding her from great danger. Lesca can only really fight using the aeons; staff users are notoriously weak against fiends. Other than that, she will only be able to heal. If you are incapacitated, she has to defend herself until you can take up your duties once again."

"Oh. Right."

Lesca looked at the staff in her hands, swinging it experimentally to get a feel for the weight and balance of the rod. She rushed toward the fiend, lifting the staff over her head and bringing it down heavily on the wasp. It burst into brightly coloured pyreflies as Kinoc looked on in amazement.

Cid whooped, punching the air. "That's my girl!"

She sauntered back, the staff resting on her shoulder. "You know, it's starting to grow on me."

The monk shook his head, grinning. "Well, I guess you're ready to pray to the Fayth. There's nothing more I can do with you. Thank Yevon."

Lesca pinched his cheek, wrinkling her nose in amusement. "Ah, I'll miss you too, Kinoc!" She walked toward the antechamber, Kinoc's voice echoing behind her.

"Go on, away with you Lady Lesca. Yevon, I wish Auron were still here! He wouldn't have known what to make of you."

Green eyes turned to him. "You knew Auron?"

Cid placed a hand on her shoulder, "Come on, Lesca. Leave it."

Kinoc raised an eyebrow at her query. "I did. He was in the order with me until he was excommunicated. He was meant to marry the maester's daughter, fast track to promotion…He gave it all up when he met a woman. He fell in love and he was punished for it. The last I heard he accompanied your father on his pilgrimage, he's not been seen since. I guess that's how you know him?"

Her eyes twinkled as she laughed at his naiveté. "You could say that. I was the woman. I was his wife."

Kinoc was left to stare at the retreating figure of his friend's wife. Auron, you dog!

~*~*~

Lesca settled down to pray, concentrating fully on her task was proving difficult. Her mind was plagued with thoughts of Auron and Aleron, of how life could have been. She didn't even notice the small boy Fayth as he appeared in front of her.

"Hello."

She looked up, startled. "Uh, hi."

"You seek my power?"

Lesca nodded, embarrassed that she had been so preoccupied. "I do. I wish to become a summoner."

"Like your father before you. You are troubled, why?"

She hesitated, unsure as to whether she should bear her soul to a Fayth. "I have suffered a lot of pain in my life."

"You wish to be free of the pain, that is why you chose the path of the summoner. I understand. I'll grant you my aeon, you are worthy."

She frowned in confusion. "Don't I need to prove my devotion to Yevon?"

The Fayth grinned and winked at her. "We both know you'd fail that test. You are pure of heart and your goal is one with which we can empathise. I hope you find the peace you seek."

The boy bonded with her, the power of the aeon flooding her veins. She staggered to her feet, leaning heavily on the staff she had received mere hours before. Now I know why summoner's have staffs; it's so they don't fall on their ass when they receive a new aeon.

She slowly made her way to the door of the chamber where Cid looked up at her expectantly. Lesca smiled weakly. "I've done it. I've become a summoner."

He returned the smile, helping her to a seating position as her strength deserted her. Oh Gods, no. Not her too.

A/N: Updates will be more regular for the next two weeks anyway. Coursework done and two weeks off! Yay! Thanks to The Angel of the Lion, Wi11, Refugee and Pierson. Come on, someone must want a challenge? E mail us!