You are the one that I could truly believe in,

So don't ever think that I would ever ditch you baby.

Without a doubt you are my rhyme and my reason,

And I won't let you down.

Holding on For You – Liberty X

The cool blues of Macalania woods had faded into the stark white of the lake, the frozen wind chilling them all to the bone. No more had been said about the relationship between the eldest Guardians, though curiosity was rife within the small group. The two led the pack; small touches and loving words exchanged frequently while the rest looked on in amusement. The change in Auron had been astonishing to behold. Though Yuna and Tidus knew the gruff exterior was a falsehood, it was one the red robed man had cultivated and used to his advantage for years. To see the barriers that had encased him for a decade melt to nothing with a few choice words from one woman was nothing short of a miracle. At the point where the spirits of the group had been at their lowest ebb following Yuna's decision to marry, the obvious love Auron and Lesca shared was a source of hope.

Wakka looked at the couple and saw, in some respects, himself and Lulu. If a man as embittered by life as Auron could be persuaded to allow love into his heart, surely Lulu could see that her life didn't have to end with Chappu's death? Tidus too drew some comfort from the union. He hoped that Yuna would look at the two and realise she was marrying Seymour for the wrong reasons. The blitzer knew it to be a long shot, but the hope that it may be even a distant possibility kept him from sinking into depression at the thought of losing the woman he loved to her over developed sense of duty. The Macalania travel agency came into sight and the group breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Rikku punched the air in glee before retreating back into Kimahri's side for warmth. "Finally! I thought I was going to turn into a popsicle!"

Lesca grinned from her position huddled under Auron's arm. "Well, let that be a lesson to us both. We buy warmer clothes at the agency." The smile faded and she looked distant. "I'll go on ahead and get us rooms, ok?"

Tidus stepped forward. "We'll do that, right Yuna? Don't worry about it."

"No, I'll go. I know Rin; I'll be able to sort something out. Just leave it." She stated firmly before running toward the agency, head down to ward off the snow.

Tidus frowned, turning to Auron. "What's up with her?"

Auron too looked confused at her haste to leave the group. "I…I'm going on ahead. Guard Yuna, make sure she gets there."

He ran off without waiting for an answer. The ronin smiled wryly, Lesca might know Rin, but he knew a short cut. As he approached the agency he heard voices as he passed the window, recognising them as belonging to Rin and Lesca. He crouched and listened, hoping to solve the mystery of his wife's behaviour.

"I'm sorry to have left you in the lurch like that, I just needed to protect Yuna. Yevon knows, I haven't been around to do that for the past ten years."

"It is quite alright, I understand perfectly." Rin paused. "I suppose Sir Auron would have nothing to do with this?"

A laugh. "You know me too well. You have too keen a nose for Yevonite gossip, Rin."

Auron could hear the teasing in the man's voice. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Well, how else would you know he was guarding Yuna?"

"I met them earlier in the pilgrimage."

"What? Shit! You didn't tell him anything, did you?" Her voice was shrill, the panic she was experiencing audible.

Rin's tone was reproving. "Of course not. You have told him nothing of the past ten years?"

"No. Not yet, it's just I…everything's going so well for me. I don't want to jeopardise it by telling him what…well, you know."

Auron could sense the man's frown as he questioned her. "What about the boy?"

"No. He knows nothing, not even that."

Rin sighed. "Lesca, you are only making this harder for yourself. How are you going to explain away the reasons for keeping the truth from him?"

Auron straightened and entered the agency, causing both parties of the eavesdropped conversation to jump. Lesca smiled warmly at him, the false gaiety unable to disguise the terror in her eyes. Rin nodded respectfully. "Ah, Sir Auron. You are well I hope?"

He ignored the question, turning instead to face his wife. "What are you keeping from me?" He asked softly.

Her eyes widened involuntarily before she realised and returned her face to an impassive mask. "Nothing. I don't know what you're talking about, Auron."

Rin backed away, leaving the two to discuss the issues at hand. Guardian squared up to Guardian, both with narrowed eyes. "I don't believe you."

"I don't care if you believe me. Drop the subject, there's nothing to discuss." Her voice was calm, steady, but her eyes darted like a wild animal's, desperately searching for an escape route.

"Don't make me ask you again." He warned.

"Then don't ask. Simple. God's, but you're stubborn."

Auron moved forward, enfolding her in his arms. She stood stiffly against him; and he smirked at her obvious mistrust. "What? Don't you want to hold me?" He asked gently.

She snorted lightly. "I do, darling, but I get the distinct impression it's not an embrace you're after."

In a second her arms were held firmly behind her back, her disbelief turning to anger. He raised an eyebrow. "You're too good at reading me. Tell me what you're hiding from me."

"Dammit Auron! Let go of me!" She raged at him, lashing out with her feet. He winced as a boot caught him in the stomach before he managed to pin her feet down with his own.

"Tell me."

"You really want to know? Fine. I'm unsent, Auron. I'm dead."

His grip on her went slack and she stormed free of his grasp and out of the room, leaving him to slump dazed onto the floor. She's unsent? He groaned and threaded his hands through salt and pepper. My darling, who? Why? I failed you before and I've failed you again. I couldn't even save you from my fate, this cursed living death. What kind of a husband am I?

~*~*~

"Well I hope you're happy."

Rin looked up from the pile of paperwork on his desk to meet the glare of Lesca. "Excuse me? What is wrong, are you angry?"

She laughed incredulously. "Angry? Angry doesn't even begin to describe the absolute burning rage I'm experiencing! I'm exceptionally pissed off and it's all your fault!" The volume of her outburst had increased steadily at the last three words.

Rin rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair, arms folded. "What is my fault?"

"He overheard us. I had to tell him I'm unsent. Hey, did you see that?" She pointed out the window.

He squinted. "See what?"

"That was my chance at happiness flying out of the damn window."

"I think you are over-reacting. You do have a tendency for that as I recall." He placed a finger on his chin thoughtfully.

She sneered at him. "Really? And how do you figure that one out?"

"He is standing behind you."

She turned to see Auron leaning against the doorframe behind her. He nodded cordially at Rin, never once taking his eyes from Lesca's face. "I think we need to talk."

Lesca tensed slightly. "Ok, fine. We'll talk later."

"Now."

She crossed her arms and held up her head defiantly. "I don't want to talk right now."

"That's too bad, because you're going to." The commanding tone he used with the rest of the group crept into his voice. "Our room now, Lesca."

He exited Rin's office and sighed. How can I tell her?

~*~*~

Despite the warmth of the travel agency, Lesca shivered as she smiled weakly at Yuna and her friends. The realisation that she'd have to tell them her secret haunted her thoughts, and she left the gathering before questions could be asked. The woman rubbed at her arms absently as she walked unthinking to the room she was to share with Auron, chewing on her bottom lip as if to make physical the mental torment. The handle of the door was cool to the touch as she placed a trembling hand over it, willing the quaking appendage to open the door. Unwilling to do it's masters bidding, she had to resort to using both hands to turn the doorknob. The door creaked open and she crept in silently, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the dim candlelight.

"Auron?" She whispered softly, hoping against hope that he was not yet there and she could hide beneath the covers and sleep, effectively warding off his questions.

He stood from his resting-place, a chair in an unlit corner of the room and smiled gently at her. "You came."

She nodded, looking at her feet. "I, I suppose you want to know what's happened the past ten years huh?"

His reply was eloquent, simplistic. "I do."

Lesca sat on the bed, pulling the comforter up to her chin as her eyes glazed over, remembering torture from a lifetime ago. Auron perched beside her, offering her the comfort of his touch which she accepted without thinking. He enfolded her in his robe and let her calm, knowing she would begin her tale when she felt strong enough. She leaned into him, resting her head on his chest. "You don't hate me then, knowing what I am?"

He chose his words carefully. "You are my wife. Nothing else matters to me."

The relief she felt was immense and before she could stop herself she blurted out her secret. "Four years after you left I became a summoner." The statement chilled Auron to the bone and he shuddered against her. "You're cold?"

"No, please, carry on."

"You were gone, everyone was gone. I had nothing left to live for. Sin had returned and destroyed what was left of my life. I wanted to die." She laughed a bitter, hollow sound. "I roped Cid into becoming my Guardian, Luzzu joined us at Besaid. Luzzu was so much like you, so idealistic…he tried to sway me from my path with declarations of love. I couldn't, wouldn't listen. I didn't want to. I was blinkered by the thought of being with you again. When we reached Zanarkand and I found out about the sacrifice that had to be made to obtain the Final Aeon, I nearly gave up. Cid persuaded me to keep going, he knew how much it meant to me, he was to be my Final Aeon."

She paused, the troubled look returning to her eyes as she remembered that day. Auron interrupted, trying to save her from the pain. "You are a summoner? You died battling Sin?"

Lesca shook her head. "No, I…I am a summoner, that much is correct. I was foolish Auron; I threw my life away. It wasn't even given for a good cause. When we went to Yunalesca, she told me. She told me everything. That Jecht was Sin, that my father had willingly died…she said she'd killed you."

Auron drew in breath sharply as he listened, reliving his own demise as she talked. Lesca didn't notice and continued venom in her voice. "Lying bitch. I, I couldn't take it. She robbed me of you, she stole our life together from us for naught! All because you tried to avenge them…" A tear rolled down her face, her voice cracking from the emotions reliving the experience was dredging from within her. "I fought her, Auron. I fought her and she struck me down. Cid and Luzzu, they tried to save me, but my wounds were too severe. I died in Guadosalam."

His voice was hoarse. "Guadosalam? But Seymour…"

"Seymour knows what I am, he tried to send me. He was already becoming twisted with his thirst for power when I met him six years ago, Yevon knows what he has become in that time. I'm so worried for Yuna; she's keeping something from us. There's a reason for this marriage and it's not all to do with making Spira happy."

He held her tightly to him, trying to articulate the words and will them from his stubborn throat. "I gathered as much. Lesca?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

She raised an eyebrow. "E muja oui, duu. What do you want to tell me?"

Auron spoke in a ragged whisper. "She wasn't lying."

Lesca sat up, looking into his eye with confusion written on her face. "What?"

"Yunalesca, she wasn't lying."

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "What are you saying?"

"She killed me. I'm an unsent. I'm dead."

"Oh."

He looked up sharply. "Oh?"

"Yeah, 'oh'. You know; you can't really get on to me for keeping this a secret. You did it too." She said thoughtfully.

He began to argue before realising that she was right. "I suppose. Is there anything else I should know?"

"Maybe, one thing." She stood and rummaged in the pouch she kept by her side, retrieving a sphere. She flipped the switch and turned it on. "Watch."

She placed the sphere in front of them and smiled sadly as it slowly sprang to life. "I haven't watched this since my death. Too many memories."

Auron watched fascinated as first himself and then Jecht appeared. He grinned at the expression on his younger self's face before touching his scar subconsciously. "I used to be quite handsome."

Lesca responded with a kiss on the wound. "You still are."

The scene shifted to show Braska shaking his head at the bickering of his two Guardians, waving at the sphere and shouting best wishes to his daughters. Jecht had Auron in a headlock by this time and was promising to lighten her husband up for when they returned. The scene ended and moved to a picture of Auron and Lesca on their wedding day, grinning happily and waving at the camera. Auron shook his head as he watched. "It's hard to believe we were once that young and that happy."

"A death will do that to you."

Again the picture changed, this time to show Lesca leaning heavily on an older man, her stomach larger than Auron could ever remember. She scowled at the camera and batted it away with a string of Al Bhed expletives. "Who's that? And were you comfort eating?"

Lesca giggled. "This was about six months after you'd left Bevelle. I went to Home. That's my Uncle Cid. And I wasn't comfort eating, just wait and you'll see." The giggles had quietened and been replaced by a solemn look.

Next, a close up of Lesca's face, looking drawn and gaunt. She smiled weakly at the camera and raised a finger to her lips to indicate the camera holder to be quiet. The view panned down to the sleeping infant in her arms before coming back up to see that she had fallen into a fatigue induced slumber. Auron reached out to the sphere, touching the image lightly. "You look so ill. Who is the child, a cousin of yours?"

She shook her head. "Just watch. I hope you figure it out."

The next few images were of the boys various landmarks, birthdays, first steps, first words. All were recorded on this sphere with no clues as to who he was until the last clip. The boy, three years old at Auron's guess as the previous image had shown his third birthday, ran over to a woman who sat on the sand, watching over him from afar. As the camera came into focus, Auron noted with a start that it was Lesca who grabbed the child in a bear hug, making him squeal with delight.

"Don't go away that far next time, ok sweetie? There's nasty fiends that would love to gobble up such a cute little boy!" Lesca tickled the boy and he giggled in delight.

"Ok, I won't, I pwomise."

She smiled. "Good boy. Go get your shoes Aleron, we need to head back to Home." She called to the man behind the camera. "Cid, do you have them?"

The gruff voice from behind the camera called back to her. "They're here, Lesca."

The boy ran off screen, returning a few moments later with the shoes, beaming as Lesca fastened them to his small feet. "Ready?"

The boy, Aleron, nodded. "Ready!" He turned to walk away before deciding against it and embracing Lesca in a hug. "I love you, mommy."

"I love you, too."

Auron sat, stunned as he worked through the images in his head. He hadn't noticed at the time, but the boy looked exactly like he had when he was small. Aleron was the name he and Lesca had decided on for a male child should they have been blessed with a son. Eventually his sluggish brains pieced together the clues and figured out what Lesca had been trying to tell him. "The boy, he's our son. I made you pregnant before I left." They were not questions, merely statements of fact.

She nodded, a small smile on her face. "I named him Aleron like we had discussed. I only found out I was with child after you'd left."

"I'm a father." He chuckled. "I can't believe it. Where is he, where's our son?"

He frowned as she bit her lip, her eyes glistening. "What? Lesca?"

Her voice was strangled. "He's dead."

Auron slumped forward, head in hands. "Dead? How?"

"Sin. I tried to protect him; I tried to save him! I failed."

He looked up to see her shoulders shaking gently as she keened for the lost child. So these are the demons that have haunted you, drove you on this path. I'll keep them from you from now on, my love. Now that I know there is nothing to fear. "It's not your fault. We'll see him again, one day."

She sobbed into his chest, his heart breaking as he held her. "You've found you had a child and lost him again all in the space of a day. How can you forgive me?"

Auron smoothed his wife's hair back from her eyes, his touch comforting to her. "What's important is now. We're together, that's what matters. He'll wait for us with Braska and our families. Don't chide yourself like this, let the past go. We need to move on with what's left of our lives if we're to be happy. Please stop blaming yourself, let me be with you."

"I'm so sorry."

"Stop apologising, there's no need! Lesca, trust me, trust yourself."

Lesca didn't hesitate. "I trust you."

He undressed her silently before swathing her in the covers; she made no attempt to resist his babying of her. He knew she needed the comfort such simple things as a kind word or gesture could provide. He raised an eyebrow at her sleeping form as he joined her in bed, her fatigued form instinctively pressing against him. Auron sighed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer and resting his head atop her hair. An overwhelming rush of love washed over him and he kissed her forehead before returning to his previous position.

You raised our son. You died in no small part because of me. We're so alike, you and I. Foolish, impulsive…I wouldn't have it any other way. It's not you who should be sorry. I'm sorry, it's my fault. I promise no one else will suffer our fate, the cycle ends here. I won't allow anyone else to sacrifice themselves. Yuna will live and with her, our hope. I won't fail you again.

A/N: First off I must apologise to The Great Skippy for not including you in the last authors note. It was late, I was tired and that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. So double thanks to you this time around! Thanks to the usual's, The Angel of the Lion, Wi11, Pierson, Refugee and also to Pickle and Aurons biggest fan.