The Bad Author

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Disclaimer: ARGGH I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

====================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================== Chapter 2, A few bad Cliches and the authors true insanity

======================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================Hermione:When do you think Ron will be back.

Author:*evilly*When I make him.*laughs insanly*

Hermione:What do you mean?

Author:Well sweetheart I am the author and what I say goese.

Hermione:DON'T CALL ME SWEETHEART! Thats Draco's name for me.

Author:I'm the author and I can do whatever I please!*Author Argues with Hermione for 5 minutes*

Harry:Ginny is hot!

Hermione:O.o Okay....

Author:*laughs*I made you say that, puny mortals

Sirius:*walks in with Ron*HOW DARE YOU SCARE RON YOU BASTARD!*Pulls out wand*ACCIO KEYBOARD!

Author:*grows to be about 50 feet tall, and speaks in low scary voice*HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY KEYBOARD!

Sirius:Oh Sh*t!

Hermione:*to Sirius*You should never provoke the insane author!

Sirius:Heres your keyboard back, oh great tall one!

Author:Your punishment!

Sirius:NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Author:You should be scared! Now I shall bombard you with stupid Cliches!MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

All but Author:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ginny:*appears*Hi all but Harry who I have a mad crush on and will run away whenever he talks to me.

Hermione:CAN"T RESIST CLICHE'S!Hi I am Madly in love with Ron but I go out with Draco because he cool!

Ron:NOOOOOOOOOO! I am gay!

Harry:I go must go out with Ginny now!

Sirius:*reading Harry Potter 5*I'm DEAD?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! But since Author and random Fanfiction readers like me I am still alive?

Author:basicly. But also you give backbone to the story and without a backbone we all inverdbreas.

(a/n:sorry if cliuches not good, all I could think of)

Author:Now since I really do not like the way you all have treated me you will all be paired the way I want you to be!

All:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Author:Ok since Hermione paired-

Hermione:Yes!

Author:As I was saying, Harry you are with Ginny.

Ginny and Harry:Cool!

Author:Ron you are with Pansy Parkinson.

Ron:NOOOOOOOOOO!

Author:And Sirius will be paired with some random witch.

Sirius:*sighs of relief*Good.

Author:But she will be a death eater!

Sirius:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Thank you for the really nice reviews! I love you all! Now that I know i'm wanted il update more! Remember to give suggestions and contructive critism so I know how I can improve.

Sneak peak to next chapter:

Author:All is ready for the evilness!

Sirius:AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Harry:Oh GInny I love you!

A few more flashes of stuff that nobody(but me) knows if even part of HP.