Author's Note (9/2): I wrote this back in early August, and it's… very stupid. Reading over it, I realize how utterly horrendous my writing is if I'm writing an insane humor narrative in my own style. You'll notice that I use "Suddenly" and "Then" VERY frequently. I'm fine writing narratives if they're drama or romance or angst or essays… unfortunately, I NEVER write those (of my own free will, that is). Last time I wrote one of those was more than a year ago. I need to work on my writing… sniff… Oh, well! If you'd kindly disregard that and the fact that this is a stupidly stupid story, I hope that you'll give me nice reviews! However, if you feel the need to flame me… GO RIGHT AHEAD!! I love flames. They humor me so very much and I like to hang them on my bedroom wall. However, if you for some reason hate my story so much that you torment me by sending me a virus… I will counter by having my older sister create and send a virus to YOUR computer! Believe me, I've done that to people threatening the well-being of my AND my friends computers before.

So, anyways, I now present to you…

Pegasus' BOATS!!!

Author's note: Okay, I'm on vacation in the Poconos and VERY bored, and my dad doesn't want to drive me around on our powerboat because he just came back with my brother from taking a little trip on our stupid sailboat that's boring, so I decided to steal his laptop! HAW HAW HAW!!! This story is the result.

Disclaimer: I OWN PEGASUS!!! Okay, no I don't. I don't own anything in this fic. However, some of the quirky things that take place really did happen on my family's vacations.

Chapter One

Television, Crazy Fingers, a Heat Wave and FREIZA TIME!!!

"I don't understand this at all," muttered Jounouchi, waving the folded piece of paper that he was holding.

Honda grabbed his wrist, as Jounouchi had been waving it around for the past three hours and it was really annoying him. "Why not, Jounouchi? It's written in plain Japanese."

"I'm not illiterate," Jounouchi retaliated, opening the paper. "It's just the purpose of these invitations." He cleared his throat, then read aloud, "Hello, Yuugi-boy and his friends. I would be honored if you would accompany me to my summer home in the American Pocono mountains." The invitation went on to give directions and the like, along with money for the trip, and finally, "Signed, Pegasus J. Crawford." Jounouchi folded the invite back up and stuffed it into his pocket. "I don't understand why Pegasus would invite us to go on vacation with him, let alone pay all expenses himself."

"What I don't understand is why we're actually going," Yuugi spoke up.

"Don't be rude, Yuugi!" exclaimed his grandfather stupidly. "He invited us, so there's no excuse to why we wouldn't go!"

"Your grandfather is absolutely right, Yuugi!" Anzu screamed just as stupidly.

Kaiba sat in the back of the charter bus with Mokuba, making himself very alienated from the others. "Why didn't I go to my own summer home, which is undoubtedly much better than Pegasus'?"

"LA LA LA!!!" said Mokuba very knavishly.

Okay, let's just take a roll call so that I don't have to make everyone say something. And for everyone's benefit, I'll put both the Japanese and Dub names. On the bus headed for Pegasus' cottage are Mutou Yuugi (Yugi Moto), Jounouchi Katsuya (Joey Wheeler), Honda Hiroto (Tristan Taylor), Mizaki Anzu (Téa Gardner), Bakura Ryou (Bakura), Kaiba Seto (Seto Kaiba), Kaiba Mokuba (Mokuba Kaiba), Mutou Sugoroku (Grampa), and Kujaku Mai (Mai Valentine). There, that was fun!

Suddenly, since it was three o' clock, everyone arrived at Pegasus' cottage on a lake. Instantly, Pegasus came out of the cottage with his arms wide open. "WELCOME TO MY COTTAGE!!" He reached them and started jumping around excitedly. "Now that you're here, let's all take rides on my boats!"

All of a sudden, it started raining. "Oh no!" whined Pegasus. "Now we can't go on my boats!" So they all went into the cottage and decided to watch TV.

"WE WANT TO WATCH BARNEY AND TELETUBBIES!" screamed Sugoroku, Anzu and Mokuba.

"NO WAY! I WANT TO WATCH CARTOON NETWORK!!!" screamed Pegasus back at them.

It escalated into an all-out war over what channel to watch, until they decided to take votes. Bakura read the results of the ballot. "Okay, one vote for the Disney Channel, two votes for ESPN, one vote for Nickelodeon, one vote for MSNBC, one vote for the Shopping Channel, one vote for Cartoon Network, and three votes for PBS." Sugoroku, Anzu, and Mokuba cheered, while everyone else screamed. Bakura cleared his throat. "Well, we can't have that, can we? Let's vote again." So everyone voted again, and the results were 3 for PBS and 7 for COMEDY CENTRAL!!! YAY!!!

Mai seized the remote control and turned on Comedy Central, which was at that tine playing Beat the Geeks! Then Yami Yuugi separated himself from Yuugi so that he could also watch Beat the Geeks, and Yami Bakura separated himself from Bakura for fun also! Of course, since Yami Yuugi is the Game King, or Yuugiou, he answered all the questions before even the GEEKS could!

"Be quiet, Yami!" shouted Yuugi. "I can't hear the show!"

"Urusai, Aibou!" Yami shouted back, slapping Yuugi upside the head, then his head snapped back towards the television set. "STEVEN SPIELBERG!!!"

"How do you know all that trivia, Yami?" asked Mai.

"I don't know. HAN SOLO!!!"

"Wow, Yami!" squealed Anzu. "You should go onto that show!"

Suddenly, Beat the Geeks ended right in the middle so that they would all be fortunate enough to witness the premier of a BRAND-NEW show on Comedy Central called…

Umeko's Super-Happy Peanut Butter Talkshow!

"Um… What the heck is this, Aibou?" asked Yami Bakura.

"I don't know," shrugged Bakura. "What is it, Pegasus?"

"What makes you think I would know?"

"Because you're on it."

"No I'm not."

"Whatever." Bakura changed the channel then because Dragonball Z just started on Cartoon Network.

Freiza's face appeared on the screen, and he/she/it held up his/her/its hand. "This planet will explode in five minutes!"

"ARGH!!" Pegasus grabbed his head. "IT CAN'T BE! For the past two years, they've shown this episode the FIRST day I was here, and since 30 episodes is 5 minutes in Freiza time, and I'm only here for two weeks, I never get to see what happens to the planet!!!"

Everyone peered at Pegasus strangely. "Don't you have cable at your castle, Pegasus?" said no one in particular.

Pegasus just looked around obliviously, because he obviously DOES have cable at his castle, but since I don't have cable at home and I never get to see what happens to Namek, Pegasus doesn't know what happens EITHER, because since I'm the author, the characters can't have any more knowledge than I do! GO RUN-ON SENTENCES!!!

Suddenly, Freiza decided that it was dinnertime, and since Freiza is the king/queen/thing of time, Pegasus and everybody decided to go to dinner at CRAZY FINGERS!! So they all went to go into Pegasus' minivan.

"Um, Pegasus," Kaiba counted up the seats in the van, then the number of people, and he suddenly got his amusing Kermit the Frog voice, "there are only seven seats, and twelve of us."

Pegasus put his finger up into the air. "That's okay! I have an idea!" Pegasus prodigiously pointed to the two Yamis. "You to merge again with your Aibous!"

So they did, and everyone was happy!

But Honda had to speak up! BLAST HIM!

"But we still have too many people! There are ten of us, and… still seven seats…"

"Yes, but we're going to strap Sugoroku, Anzu and Mokuba to the top!"

"OKAY!" cheered everyone, even Sugoroku, Anzu and Mokuba, because they're knaves.

In about three seconds, they reached Crazy Fingers, and since no one ELSE was set on Freiza Time, they were the only people there, besides the worker people. Since the people at Crazy Fingers are utterly cool and prodigious, they got to choose their own table.

"Nii-chan! Nii-chan!" Mokuba tugged on Kaiba's jacket. "I want to play the video games!"

"I want to play, too!" yelled Anzu.

Kaiba pulled out his wallet and looked through it. "I don't have any quarters. Here, Anzu," he handed her a one dollar bill, "you put this in the change machine for Mokuba, but use your OWN money for your own fun!"

"Okay!" Anzu and Mokuba ran off to put the money in the change machine and then play the video games.

"Let's all look at the menus!" said Mai and Jounouchi, only because they haven't said much recently. So everyone looked at the menus.

"Hey, everyone, I need help!" Anzu came running up. "The change won't come out of the change machine!"

They all looked at each other, then pushed Bakura out of the booth. "Bakura, YOU help her!" said… Yuugi, or someone. Bakura reluctantly followed Anzu to the change machine, but…

"Anzu, that's not a change machine!" exclaimed Bakura, "that's a jukebox!!"

"Oh!" Anzu slapped her cheeks. "That explains a lot! Well… do you think you could get the dollar back out?"

"I'll try," Bakura mumbled. He pressed the change release button as hard as he could, but nothing happened. "Anzu, I think you're just going to have to choose some songs." Then Bakura left to go back to the booth where everyone else was… except for Mokuba, who had just mysteriously disappeared somehow.

When Bakura returned, some random Beatles song started playing, and Anzu returned as well. "I chose a song, but I don't know what else to choose!"

This time, Bakura pushed Yuugi out of the booth. "Yuugi, YOU help her!" So Yuugi shrugged, said whatever, and went over to the jukebox.

He pressed the arrow buttons to see what songs he could choose for the last two selections. Unfortunately, he didn't recognize any of them… EXCEPT two!

MEANWHILE!!!

"Anzu, what song did you choose?" inquired Sugoroku.

"Something," she answered.

"Yes, but what?"

"Something."

"Oh… okay…"

"I just pushed random numbers, then I looked to see what selection I made," Anzu explained, "and then I saw that the song I chose was Something by the Beatles!"

"Oh! I get it now!!" They both laughed stupidly.

At that time, Real World by Matchbox 20 started playing, and Yuugi returned. "Okay guys, let's order now!" Conveniently, the waitress appeared then, and they took turns ordering.

"Ah…" Jounouchi looked at the menu… again… "I'd like… 15 hot wings with celery and bleu cheese dressing."

"I think I'll have the nachos," said Honda.

"I'll have the cheddar and bacon potato skins," Yuugi ordered.

"I don't eat."

"Neither do I."

"When did our Yamis separate themselves again?" asked Bakura and Yuugi, but then they ignored that and Bakura decided to order.

"I'll have the chicken fingers with fries."

"Anzu will have a hamburger and fries." Anzu and Sugoroku had made a talking-in-third-person club while no one was looking because that's what they think is fun!

"Sugoroku will have cole slaw," requested Willard. JUST KIDDING! That was Sugoroku! I had you going there, didn't I? Sugoroku has to have cole slaw because he's an old man and his heart and teeth are getting weak and he has to eat something soft and healthy that won't give him a heart attack.

"I think I'll have a Caesar salad," said Mai.

"I'll have the barbecue ribs," Kaiba told the waitress, "and my little brother will probably like the chicken fryz."

Finally, PEGASUS!!!! got to order! I think I'll change his name from Pegasus to PEGASUS!!! "I'll have the chili cheese dogs," said PEGASUS!!!! Yes, you NEED the exclamation points there.

Everybody IMMEDIATELY got their food and Mokuba came back. And everybody started eating.

"Oh no!" screamed PEGASUS!!!! "I forgot that they use Cheez Wiz! Now my chili cheese dogs are ruined because they have Cheez Whiz on them!" Everybody laughed at PEGASUS!!!!'s expense, because nobody lurves PEGASUS!!!! except me and Haga.

Then I Get a Kick Out of You by Frank Sinatra started playing, because that was Yuugi's OTHER selection on the jukebox was. By the time it was finished, everyone had stuffed their food into their mouths and looked like little hamsters with way too many seeds in their cheek sacks. The only people who DIDN'T look like that were the Yamis because they don't eat.

PEGASUS!!!! paid the bill, which was ten gazillion dollars, but he has that much because he's PEGASUS!!!!, and they all went home. Unfortunately, when they got home, Sugoroku, Anzu, and Mokuba took control of the television set and they got to watch Hamtaro!! RATS! Or rather, HAMSTERS!!! And watching Hamtaro was kind of appropriate, since they all looked like little Ham-hams! Five minutes later, the Daily Show started on Comedy Central and they HAD to watch it so that they knew the news of what was going on in the world! (Can you tell that the TV schedule is really messed up in this story?)

"In recent news," said John Stewart, "the ENTIRE world is in a heat wave EXCEPT for in the Pocono mountains!"

Everyone blinked, then all at once they cheered! Then they all got pens and paper and wrote letters to their friends back at home bragging that everyone was in a heat wave EXCEPT them in the Pocono mountains, where it was in the seventies (Fahrenheit).

Then Freiza decided that it was bedtime, so it was! And everyone fell asleep right then and there! But not before kicking out Sugoroku and Anzu and Mokuba!

WOW! THIS STORY STINKS! Yeah, so… If anyone wants me to continue this stupid story, review! How else will I know to continue? I have more ideas for the story, but I won't write if people hate the story, which you probably DO! Oh, well. So long for now!!