Chapter 15- Goodbye to Everything
The phone rang Thursday afternoon. Rory was just lounging around, reading her latest book selection. She was sitting on the couch with her legs sprawled out lengthwise. She'd had a really great time with Jess on movie night. It turned out Lorelai had invited Luke, and the four didn't fight too much. Since they both had companions, the girls were too busy to do anything that was too crazy. Plus Luke and Jess were glad that they were not alone, respectively. If it had just been Jess, or Luke they probably would have gone nuts. Anyway, the phone rang and she picked it up.
"Hello."
"Hello, Rory?"
"Yes. Paris?" She asked.
"Rory, I was just calling to inform you that I will be going to Yale this year."
"It seems I haven't gotten rid of you yet then."
"Not by a long shot, Gilmore." She replied
"Come on now Paris, we are friends right?"
"Right, I'm sorry. It's just my general response."
"So why did you pick Yale?"
"Well, it's second only to Harvard and if those ingrates are not going to let me in, I might as well go somewhere when I could get as good an education and have a friend to share the experience with."
"I do believe that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me, Paris."
"Don't get too used to it." She shot back.
"Who knows, maybe you'll actually have some fun this year, instead of being so overbearing, huh?"
"Not likely, but maybe." On the other end of the line, she sort of smiled.
"Well, that's good. I'm almost all packed up. Mom, Jess and Luke are gonna help me bring everything over to Yale tomorrow."
"Well, maybe I'll see you there."
"You know my cell phone number right? You can call me when you get to your dorm and get everything set up."
"Yeah, that sounds good."
"Bye."
"Bye."
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"How was your day?"
"It was good. There wasn't much business."
"How are things with Luke?"
"They are---pretty much the same as ever. It's not like I want to sing camp fire songs with the guy, but we get a long. I guess."
"That's good." She smiled. "So this is my last night here." Rory said sitting on the bench next to Jess.
"I know." He said solemnly.
"You're gonna help me move tomorrow, right?" She asked. He hesitated a little.
"Yeah, I will." He kept his eyes fixed on the ground.
"Jess, are you all right?" She put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm fine."
"You know I'll come and visit every weekend. Plus it's only---"
"I know 22.8 miles away. Would you stop saying that? I told you that." He sounded angry now.
"I'm only trying to tell you that--- you can call too, you know?" She added.
"Rory, I know I said I was good with this, but I'm not. I pretended I was. God, I do that too much." He got up and walked away.
"Jess! Wait!" She hollered after him.
*Now, don't just walk away
Pretending everything's ok
And you don't care about me
And I know there's just no use*
"Rory, I can't talk to you right now. I'll see you tomorrow."
She stood their in the middle of the square. It was late. Nobody else was out. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. He certainly was back.
*Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you're happy now, oh, oh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?*
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She went home and sat on her bed. There was a knock on her door.
"Rory honey, can I come in?"
"Yeah Mom, come in." She answered.
"Are you all right?" Lorelai asked. Rory sighed.
"Why did things turn out this way?" She asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Jess didn't graduate and now he's all angry or mad, or depressed or something because I'm leaving tomorrow."
"His not graduating was his own fault."
"I know. I wish it didn't have to be this way. God, he could have gone with me to Yale if he had graduated. Of course it's probably to preppy for him. But there are other colleges that are close."
"Sweetie, I'm sorry. Long distance relationships are like that. Things don't always work out."
"I know. I went to California. I told him I wanted him to come back. He promised he would. He promised me that things would be okay."
"I know. Things will look better in the morning. I love you, Rory."
"I love you too, Mom."
"Goodnight." Lorelai left and shut the door.
Rory got up off the bed and walked over to her window. She stared at the darkness outside. The stars glittered, lighting up the sky. They were beautiful, and for the moment she just watched them and stopped thinking.
*Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to*
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Still wandering the streets, Jess finally saw the bridge. It had been the one constant thing in his life in Stars Hollow. It'd been here when Rory wasn't and when he didn't have anyone. He saw the way they looked at him. Still, even after he'd stopped fighting with Dean, and after he'd stopped doing things to tick Taylor off. They still looked at him as a leper, an outsider that was not welcome and didn't belong. Now his only companion, his only friend in this town, the girl he cared for the most, was going away. At least when she was around he could ignore the looks because he had her to pay attention too.
He rubbed his eyes and picked up a few stones. He sat down on the bridge and threw the stones one by one into the crystal clear lake. 'What the hell am I gonna do?' He thought. 'They hate me here, all but her. I guess Luke doesn't hate me, but she's the only reason I came back. I suppose like she says, she'll be back on weekends, and holidays and whenever she can. I mean her mother is here; of course she has to visit. I finally get her and I screw my life up by not graduating. Then I think about her half the summer, and she comes to California to meet me. I tell her I love her for God sakes. Now she has to leave, and I have to stay and fix my mistake. I can't stay angry at her though. I need to at least be good with her, because if I'm not, Lord knows I don't have anyone else.'
He got up, and walked back to Luke's. It was really dark out now. The stars shone bright in the sky. He looked up and thought how alone he was in the world, and who else was looking up at the same stars that he was.
*And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star*
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It was almost noon. Rory and her mother were sitting in the living room. Luke was supposed to be here pretty soon, he was bringing the pick-up truck to take all her stuff to Yale. Just then a familiar honk awakened Rory from her thoughts.
"It sounds like Luke is here." Lorelai declared.
"Yeah, it does." She picked up a few boxes and went out the door. Standing on the porch she saw Luke and Jess talking about something, they were standing next to the truck. Obviously they hadn't seen her. She tried to reach into her pocket to find her keys, but she fumbled around, lost her balance and dropped the boxes. The guys looked up at the noise. Jess came jogging over to Rory.
"Here, let me help you with that." He started.
"Thanks Jess." She looked up and smiled. He picked up some of the things that had fallen out of a box and helped her carry them to the car.
"What else do you have?" He asked.
"I have some more boxes and bags inside, they'll have to go into the truck because they---they won't fit in here." She shut the car door.
"You ready for this, Rory?" Luke asked approaching them.
"I guess." She smiled vaguely.
"I thought you'd be excited." Obviously Jess had not told him about their little fight last night.
"I---I am, thanks for the help." She went back inside to get some more of the boxes. Her mother was coming out just as she was going in. She went down the stairs softly.
"Hey Luke" She said carrying a few bags.
"Hey, Lorelai" He took the boxes from her.
"Did you bring our coffee?" She asked.
"Nope, I didn't sorry." He replied.
"What? How could you?" Lorelai looked hurt.
"I'm just kidding, they are inside the truck." He smiled and kissed her.
"Oh yeah, that just makes everything better." She replied sarcastically. Jess stood there watching the whole thing.
"What's going on with Rory?" Luke asked Jess.
"I'd rather not get into it." He walked up the steps to get some more boxes. Luke gave Lorelai a look.
"I'll tell you later." She said. He nodded.
Walking into the house he ran into Rory.
"Boxes are in my room." She said not looking at him. He went into her room and gathered up some more. They all took a few more trips, each grabbing boxes, bags and anything else that needed to be taken along.
"That's the last of it." Rory said. Luke closed the back end of the truck up.
"Should we head out?" He asked.
"Sure." She replied.
Lorelai gave her daughter a look and nodded her head towards a distant Jess.
"Luke, let's go." She pulled at his sleeve. Lorelai got into the driver's seat and pulled out her map. He got in front, and noticed her map.
"It's not that far." He replied.
"I know, just don't wanna get lost."
"Whatever." He replied as he pulled out of the driveway. He stuck his head out the window. "We'll see you at Yale." He replied.
"In the front parking lot" Lorelai added.
"Your Mom says to meet in the front lot." He added.
She looked up. "Yeah, see you there." She replied. They pulled out and she looked back at Jess. He was leaning against her car just not saying anything. "So I guess that leaves us."
"I guess so." He replied looking up. He went around to the passenger side of the car. The drive to Yale was long and quiet. Neither of them said anything. They let the radio do all the talking.
*Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
*I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm begging you to beg me*
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"That looks like the last of the boxes." Luke replied bringing in the last one and setting it on the floor.
"Seems your roommate isn't here yet, huh?" Her mother asked.
"Yeah, seems that way. Thanks you guys." She smiled.
"Not a problem." Luke replied and stepped forward holding out his arms. She stepped forward into them and they embraced. "We're gonna miss you." He added.
"Thanks, I'll miss you all too." She answered. He returned to Lorelai's side. Jess stood leaning against the doorframe. "Well, we'll see you later honey. Call soon!" Her mother replied.
"I will." Rory answered hugging her mother. Luke and Lorelai walked past Jess.
"I'll be down in a few minutes." He replied. Luke nodded. Jess didn't move from the spot he was on. He looked up. Rory caught his gaze. His eyes looked like a sad puppy dog.
"Jess," She started inching forward.
"Rory, I'm sorry about last night. I just freaked out a little. I mean, with everything we've been through I totally felt like I was losing you. I overreacted, and I'm all right now."
"Good. I know this isn't gonna be easy. But I'm closer than I could be. I don't like it any more than you do."
"I know."
"I'm just glad you care enough to have--- whatever feeling you were having, about me leaving."
"Rory, I've said it before. I'm not good enough for you. You're going to college and I've still got to go to high school all because I was too irresponsible to graduate in the first place. I don't want to give up on you though. You're practically the only good thing in my life, and the only reason I came back to Stars Hollow. Have you seen the way the people in town look at me? They hate me. Apparently you see something they don't."
"Yes, I do. I see you for what you are when you actually let someone get close to you. You really are hurting and lonely, and very caring."
"You're the only person that I've ever let see me that way."
"I know, and I love you for it. The people of Stars Hollow will figure it out at some point, I promise. They just need something to show them that you aren't as bad as they think." She came closer to him and put her arms through his jeans jacket wrapping herself around him in a sort of hug. He put his arms around her.
"You always did see some good in me, Rory. Thanks."
"Are we okay?" She asked.
"We're fine." He smiled.
"You smiled." She said. It was a relief to see some display of emotion other than somber.
"I did. I have to stop doing that." He smiled again.
"No, you don't. Not if I have anything to say about it."
"Oh yeah, what do you have say about it?" He let his voice falter with a laugh.
"This." She replied, standing on her tip-toes to kiss him. He leaned in, and they shared a romantic kiss.
"Good reason." He replied.
Luke and Lorelai had been standing outside the door the whole time, and although she couldn't see that the two were kissing, she knew they were.
"They made up." She whispered. "That's so cute."
"I can hear for myself, yes." He replied.
She grabbed his arm and they went back to the car before Jess came out.
"Well, I better go. Luke and your Mom are waiting." Jess said.
"Yeah, I guess they are." She replied.
"Don't forget about me in, little old Stars Hollow, okay?"
"I won't." She replied.
He turned to leave.
"Jess?" She asked. He turned back to her. "I love you, Dodger."
"Bye, Rory." He smiled.
*Life is a road and I wanna keep goin'
Love is a river I wanna keep flowin'
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna keep goin'
Love is a river I wanna keep flowin'
In the end I want to be standing
At the beginning
With you*
A/N: Hey! Another chapter done, huh? It amazes me that I can still keep writing and I don't hate it :P Anyways, lyrics credits are as follows. Thanks for reading. "Are You Happy Now?" and "Goodbye To You" By Michelle Branch, "I Want You To Want Me" By Cheap Trick and "At The Beginning" By Richard Marx and Donna Lewis.
The phone rang Thursday afternoon. Rory was just lounging around, reading her latest book selection. She was sitting on the couch with her legs sprawled out lengthwise. She'd had a really great time with Jess on movie night. It turned out Lorelai had invited Luke, and the four didn't fight too much. Since they both had companions, the girls were too busy to do anything that was too crazy. Plus Luke and Jess were glad that they were not alone, respectively. If it had just been Jess, or Luke they probably would have gone nuts. Anyway, the phone rang and she picked it up.
"Hello."
"Hello, Rory?"
"Yes. Paris?" She asked.
"Rory, I was just calling to inform you that I will be going to Yale this year."
"It seems I haven't gotten rid of you yet then."
"Not by a long shot, Gilmore." She replied
"Come on now Paris, we are friends right?"
"Right, I'm sorry. It's just my general response."
"So why did you pick Yale?"
"Well, it's second only to Harvard and if those ingrates are not going to let me in, I might as well go somewhere when I could get as good an education and have a friend to share the experience with."
"I do believe that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me, Paris."
"Don't get too used to it." She shot back.
"Who knows, maybe you'll actually have some fun this year, instead of being so overbearing, huh?"
"Not likely, but maybe." On the other end of the line, she sort of smiled.
"Well, that's good. I'm almost all packed up. Mom, Jess and Luke are gonna help me bring everything over to Yale tomorrow."
"Well, maybe I'll see you there."
"You know my cell phone number right? You can call me when you get to your dorm and get everything set up."
"Yeah, that sounds good."
"Bye."
"Bye."
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"How was your day?"
"It was good. There wasn't much business."
"How are things with Luke?"
"They are---pretty much the same as ever. It's not like I want to sing camp fire songs with the guy, but we get a long. I guess."
"That's good." She smiled. "So this is my last night here." Rory said sitting on the bench next to Jess.
"I know." He said solemnly.
"You're gonna help me move tomorrow, right?" She asked. He hesitated a little.
"Yeah, I will." He kept his eyes fixed on the ground.
"Jess, are you all right?" She put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm fine."
"You know I'll come and visit every weekend. Plus it's only---"
"I know 22.8 miles away. Would you stop saying that? I told you that." He sounded angry now.
"I'm only trying to tell you that--- you can call too, you know?" She added.
"Rory, I know I said I was good with this, but I'm not. I pretended I was. God, I do that too much." He got up and walked away.
"Jess! Wait!" She hollered after him.
*Now, don't just walk away
Pretending everything's ok
And you don't care about me
And I know there's just no use*
"Rory, I can't talk to you right now. I'll see you tomorrow."
She stood their in the middle of the square. It was late. Nobody else was out. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. He certainly was back.
*Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you're happy now, oh, oh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?*
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------
She went home and sat on her bed. There was a knock on her door.
"Rory honey, can I come in?"
"Yeah Mom, come in." She answered.
"Are you all right?" Lorelai asked. Rory sighed.
"Why did things turn out this way?" She asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Jess didn't graduate and now he's all angry or mad, or depressed or something because I'm leaving tomorrow."
"His not graduating was his own fault."
"I know. I wish it didn't have to be this way. God, he could have gone with me to Yale if he had graduated. Of course it's probably to preppy for him. But there are other colleges that are close."
"Sweetie, I'm sorry. Long distance relationships are like that. Things don't always work out."
"I know. I went to California. I told him I wanted him to come back. He promised he would. He promised me that things would be okay."
"I know. Things will look better in the morning. I love you, Rory."
"I love you too, Mom."
"Goodnight." Lorelai left and shut the door.
Rory got up off the bed and walked over to her window. She stared at the darkness outside. The stars glittered, lighting up the sky. They were beautiful, and for the moment she just watched them and stopped thinking.
*Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to*
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------
Still wandering the streets, Jess finally saw the bridge. It had been the one constant thing in his life in Stars Hollow. It'd been here when Rory wasn't and when he didn't have anyone. He saw the way they looked at him. Still, even after he'd stopped fighting with Dean, and after he'd stopped doing things to tick Taylor off. They still looked at him as a leper, an outsider that was not welcome and didn't belong. Now his only companion, his only friend in this town, the girl he cared for the most, was going away. At least when she was around he could ignore the looks because he had her to pay attention too.
He rubbed his eyes and picked up a few stones. He sat down on the bridge and threw the stones one by one into the crystal clear lake. 'What the hell am I gonna do?' He thought. 'They hate me here, all but her. I guess Luke doesn't hate me, but she's the only reason I came back. I suppose like she says, she'll be back on weekends, and holidays and whenever she can. I mean her mother is here; of course she has to visit. I finally get her and I screw my life up by not graduating. Then I think about her half the summer, and she comes to California to meet me. I tell her I love her for God sakes. Now she has to leave, and I have to stay and fix my mistake. I can't stay angry at her though. I need to at least be good with her, because if I'm not, Lord knows I don't have anyone else.'
He got up, and walked back to Luke's. It was really dark out now. The stars shone bright in the sky. He looked up and thought how alone he was in the world, and who else was looking up at the same stars that he was.
*And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star*
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------
It was almost noon. Rory and her mother were sitting in the living room. Luke was supposed to be here pretty soon, he was bringing the pick-up truck to take all her stuff to Yale. Just then a familiar honk awakened Rory from her thoughts.
"It sounds like Luke is here." Lorelai declared.
"Yeah, it does." She picked up a few boxes and went out the door. Standing on the porch she saw Luke and Jess talking about something, they were standing next to the truck. Obviously they hadn't seen her. She tried to reach into her pocket to find her keys, but she fumbled around, lost her balance and dropped the boxes. The guys looked up at the noise. Jess came jogging over to Rory.
"Here, let me help you with that." He started.
"Thanks Jess." She looked up and smiled. He picked up some of the things that had fallen out of a box and helped her carry them to the car.
"What else do you have?" He asked.
"I have some more boxes and bags inside, they'll have to go into the truck because they---they won't fit in here." She shut the car door.
"You ready for this, Rory?" Luke asked approaching them.
"I guess." She smiled vaguely.
"I thought you'd be excited." Obviously Jess had not told him about their little fight last night.
"I---I am, thanks for the help." She went back inside to get some more of the boxes. Her mother was coming out just as she was going in. She went down the stairs softly.
"Hey Luke" She said carrying a few bags.
"Hey, Lorelai" He took the boxes from her.
"Did you bring our coffee?" She asked.
"Nope, I didn't sorry." He replied.
"What? How could you?" Lorelai looked hurt.
"I'm just kidding, they are inside the truck." He smiled and kissed her.
"Oh yeah, that just makes everything better." She replied sarcastically. Jess stood there watching the whole thing.
"What's going on with Rory?" Luke asked Jess.
"I'd rather not get into it." He walked up the steps to get some more boxes. Luke gave Lorelai a look.
"I'll tell you later." She said. He nodded.
Walking into the house he ran into Rory.
"Boxes are in my room." She said not looking at him. He went into her room and gathered up some more. They all took a few more trips, each grabbing boxes, bags and anything else that needed to be taken along.
"That's the last of it." Rory said. Luke closed the back end of the truck up.
"Should we head out?" He asked.
"Sure." She replied.
Lorelai gave her daughter a look and nodded her head towards a distant Jess.
"Luke, let's go." She pulled at his sleeve. Lorelai got into the driver's seat and pulled out her map. He got in front, and noticed her map.
"It's not that far." He replied.
"I know, just don't wanna get lost."
"Whatever." He replied as he pulled out of the driveway. He stuck his head out the window. "We'll see you at Yale." He replied.
"In the front parking lot" Lorelai added.
"Your Mom says to meet in the front lot." He added.
She looked up. "Yeah, see you there." She replied. They pulled out and she looked back at Jess. He was leaning against her car just not saying anything. "So I guess that leaves us."
"I guess so." He replied looking up. He went around to the passenger side of the car. The drive to Yale was long and quiet. Neither of them said anything. They let the radio do all the talking.
*Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
*I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm begging you to beg me*
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"That looks like the last of the boxes." Luke replied bringing in the last one and setting it on the floor.
"Seems your roommate isn't here yet, huh?" Her mother asked.
"Yeah, seems that way. Thanks you guys." She smiled.
"Not a problem." Luke replied and stepped forward holding out his arms. She stepped forward into them and they embraced. "We're gonna miss you." He added.
"Thanks, I'll miss you all too." She answered. He returned to Lorelai's side. Jess stood leaning against the doorframe. "Well, we'll see you later honey. Call soon!" Her mother replied.
"I will." Rory answered hugging her mother. Luke and Lorelai walked past Jess.
"I'll be down in a few minutes." He replied. Luke nodded. Jess didn't move from the spot he was on. He looked up. Rory caught his gaze. His eyes looked like a sad puppy dog.
"Jess," She started inching forward.
"Rory, I'm sorry about last night. I just freaked out a little. I mean, with everything we've been through I totally felt like I was losing you. I overreacted, and I'm all right now."
"Good. I know this isn't gonna be easy. But I'm closer than I could be. I don't like it any more than you do."
"I know."
"I'm just glad you care enough to have--- whatever feeling you were having, about me leaving."
"Rory, I've said it before. I'm not good enough for you. You're going to college and I've still got to go to high school all because I was too irresponsible to graduate in the first place. I don't want to give up on you though. You're practically the only good thing in my life, and the only reason I came back to Stars Hollow. Have you seen the way the people in town look at me? They hate me. Apparently you see something they don't."
"Yes, I do. I see you for what you are when you actually let someone get close to you. You really are hurting and lonely, and very caring."
"You're the only person that I've ever let see me that way."
"I know, and I love you for it. The people of Stars Hollow will figure it out at some point, I promise. They just need something to show them that you aren't as bad as they think." She came closer to him and put her arms through his jeans jacket wrapping herself around him in a sort of hug. He put his arms around her.
"You always did see some good in me, Rory. Thanks."
"Are we okay?" She asked.
"We're fine." He smiled.
"You smiled." She said. It was a relief to see some display of emotion other than somber.
"I did. I have to stop doing that." He smiled again.
"No, you don't. Not if I have anything to say about it."
"Oh yeah, what do you have say about it?" He let his voice falter with a laugh.
"This." She replied, standing on her tip-toes to kiss him. He leaned in, and they shared a romantic kiss.
"Good reason." He replied.
Luke and Lorelai had been standing outside the door the whole time, and although she couldn't see that the two were kissing, she knew they were.
"They made up." She whispered. "That's so cute."
"I can hear for myself, yes." He replied.
She grabbed his arm and they went back to the car before Jess came out.
"Well, I better go. Luke and your Mom are waiting." Jess said.
"Yeah, I guess they are." She replied.
"Don't forget about me in, little old Stars Hollow, okay?"
"I won't." She replied.
He turned to leave.
"Jess?" She asked. He turned back to her. "I love you, Dodger."
"Bye, Rory." He smiled.
*Life is a road and I wanna keep goin'
Love is a river I wanna keep flowin'
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna keep goin'
Love is a river I wanna keep flowin'
In the end I want to be standing
At the beginning
With you*
A/N: Hey! Another chapter done, huh? It amazes me that I can still keep writing and I don't hate it :P Anyways, lyrics credits are as follows. Thanks for reading. "Are You Happy Now?" and "Goodbye To You" By Michelle Branch, "I Want You To Want Me" By Cheap Trick and "At The Beginning" By Richard Marx and Donna Lewis.
