A World Upside-down

Rated: PG
Pairing: Seto/Jounouchi
Warnings: Shonen-Ai
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh, unfortunately, doesn't belong to me.
Notes: This story was completely unplanned. I was watching the movie Max (a very good movie with John Cusack about Hitler pre-World War II) and John's character Max is talking to his sun about a world upside-down. This somehow got me thinking about Seto and Jounouchi and the 'love-hate' relationship sort of things. I wasn't going to write it but after I talked to Nephthys I had the urge to write this. Thus this story is for her because she is a nice person and a good friend of mind. XD Neph, I hope you enjoy it.

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In world upside down the water would drip backwards, blood would be gained instead of lost when wounded, and red would mean go while green would mean stop. Anything and everything would not be, as we all know it. Yet somehow it would still be the same. After all, how are we supposed to be able to tell when the world is upside-down when it is the only world that we know? How would we even know that things are actually any different than how they would be if they were right side up?

Isn't it funny the things you get to thinking when you're alone? These are the sorts of thoughts that often cross my mind whenever I find myself at work yet unable to do so. Somehow you always happen to break into my thoughts without me realizing it and suddenly I am rendered a complete idiot. The codes the light up the screen no longer make sense to me even though they're the very things that have kept me alive.

What's even odder is that I had often promised myself that I would not do just what I am doing now. I told myself I wouldn't feel such things or let myself become distracted with thoughts of what it would be like to have my lips against your skin. Sometimes even they go as far as wondering what it would be like to have yours against mine, for me to let go of my innately dominant nature and submit to you.

There's something inside of me that I have already submitted myself to you on a mental level. It's oddly ironic in a way since anyone who were to even play with the thought of us being together would stamp you as the submissive one while me as the dominate one. Maybe in a world upside down that would be true.

Right about now I can imagine the look on anyone and everyone's face if they were to ever know the thoughts that passed through my head. They'd probably ask themselves how it was possible that I—the supposedly great Kaiba Seto—could submit myself to a second-rate duelist such as you. That only proves that the world today is full of idiots that don't know how to think outside of the box. Truth is I can never see you fully submitting yourself to me. Even as you had fallen against the ground you while I insulted you—saying things that were the opposite of how I truly feel—there was that ever-burning fire inside of your eyes. That fire made it clear to me that you would never let me win. I suppose if you want to view it on a more metaphorical level, I had won the battle but in the end you would win the war.

Ha! If only you knew the true meaning of the war going on between us. The war in which is more like a fight within myself. These feelings I have for you, I have long since accepted when they really are. Not quite love, but something close. Then again who I am to say whether or not I am in love with you? How could I possibly know what love really feels like? I have love for Mokuba but that is a different type of a love in itself. Thus I cannot use my love for Mokuba, as a basis of whether or not what I feel for you is love.

Do you have any idea how much that confuses me? Love is quite possibly the only word that I am unable to truthfully define. Though I suppose in a world upside-down it would be the only word I would know. That's actually quite a disturbing thought. It would also mean that I wouldn't feel hate towards Yuugi nor Pegasus but rather I would love them. Though I also suppose that if things were that I way I would've won the duel with Yuugi and I would've been the one to trap Pegasus's soul in a card. Hmm, too bad it isn't that world. I could pay them back for the damage they've done to me in this one.

Anyways, I'm getting kind of off track here. How I would feel for both Yuugi and Pegasus in a world the exact opposite of this one is irrelevant. What concerns me more is how I would feel for you. In this world I tell you I hate you when I'm actually closer to loving you. I tell you you're a pathetic canine that has no dueling talent and isn't even worth me giving you a second glance. In truth you're not worthless and I often find myself unable to tear my eyes away from you. You could say that what comes out of my mouth is the exact opposite of what's going on inside of my head. Actually, that's precisely what happens when I'm around you.

It's either I say something to put you down or just ignore you completely. Well, I pretend to ignore you completely when in reality I'm always looking at you out of the corner of my eye. It's strange how much I watch you yet how little I know about you. I know you have a younger sister, that you somehow manage to win duels on luck alone, you're loud and warm hearted, and you're a close friend of Yugi's. Other than that I draw a blank.

Perhaps that could be why you fascinate me so. Humans by nature are drawn to what they know nothing about. When something first catches your eye you know nothing about it aside from that it exists. Thus you continue to learn about it until you've learned your hearts content (or everything there is to know) and move onto something else.

Humans, however, can be quite different. Since humans are constantly changing it is possible for one to be infatuated with another for their entire life. With humans it is impossible to know anything and everything about a single human. You never know what about them might change. Even what people say is their favorite could very well be different two seconds later. Does that mean that I'm going to be hung up on you for my entire life? Maybe I will be, I'm really not one to say. After all we leave matters of predicting the future to Isis. Well, actually that would be Yugi now, wouldn't it?

Yet again I find myself getting off track. But really, was there ever an actually form of structure to my thought process. It seems that when it comes to you my thoughts tend to go astray. They're pulled in every direction then mixed together until you can no longer decipher the true context of them. The simple truth of the matter is, that I don't really understand half what I'm thinking about when I think about you aside from the fact that I'm thinking about you. I suppose I should try to put my thoughts in a more organized way than I do. After all, wouldn't that be what everyone would expect of me?

If truth be told—the reason why my thoughts tend to go haywire when I think of you is because I don't want to turn myself into one of those lovey-dovey romantics. I guess you could say that I'm afraid to fall fully into my emotions. This is the sort of things that I have worked most of my life trying to avoid. My sole reason for living for so long has been to be the best in order to support Mokuba. He has been the only thing that has mattered to me my whole life so I've never had any reason for doing anything for anyone aside from him.

Had it not been for him I highly doubt that I would currently be running the most successful business in Domino. I have always been strong for Mokuba and Mokuba alone. That is why I have always pushed aside feelings such as what I am feeling for you because as soon as I start feeling these sorts of things my attention is diverted from the one thing that truly matters to me. That is a flaw I wish I didn't have to accept. Unfortunately I have managed to accept it anyways because I believe that falling into a pit of denial and telling myself that I am not attracted to you would only prove to worsen things not to mention waste my time. Time is something that I am not willing to waste.

Of course these thoughts bring me back to something I have already thought about before: a world upside-down. In a world upside-down I would hate you instead of love you, but alas, I've already covered this. But, what is it that you would feel towards me? On observation instead of telling me you hate me and that I'm things such as a bastard or cold hearted, you would tell me you love me and how wonderful I am. That would be what was going on, on the surface of things but what would you really feel inside? Would you love me because when you tell me you hate me in this world you actually mean it? Would you hate me because you actually somehow return the feelings that I have managed to develop for you?

This is where I'm starting to kid myself. I'm almost completely sure that there is no way that you could return the feelings that I hold for you. Though I cannot know exactly what is going on in that blonde head of yours, I'm certain that it's not what my mind apparently wants to think of it as. It's ridiculous how much our thoughts get away from us, trying to trick us into believing things that aren't true. That's one of the major flaws about being human. Humans do anything to protect themselves. However this is beside the point. I shall go back to the world upside-down idea for it seems to be a comfortable subject to me.

What I wonder is, what would we be like in such a world? Since we often bicker and fight in this one wouldn't that mean in an inverted world we would do something along similar to some of the fantasies I have found myself playing with in this world? Yet wouldn't that also mean although I get to kiss you and touch you like I wish to do in this world I would be repulsed by such actions? I would probably tell you I love you but indeed hate you. All of the things I say to you in this world would be true in that one. I would believe you were a pathetic dog not worth a second glance and be repulsed by the very sight of you.

The funny thing is in that world I wouldn't tell you whatever went through my head. I would tell you that you're wonderful, beautiful; all of the things that I wish I could bring myself to say to you in this one yet cannot simply because I cannot risk it. Why is that funny? Because that is exactly what I am doing in this world.

This brings on a question and I frown at it. If you say the opposite of what you feel in a world-upside down that would make it so that in a world right side up that you say exactly how you feel. But what would that make the world I am living in? For I act exactly as I would in a world upside-down. Perhaps I myself have been living in a world upside-down for a while and have yet to notice it until now. How interesting. I wonder why I never thought of it before.

I push myself up from the plush office chair I've been occupying over the time I have found myself lost in my thoughts before heading towards the door. I do believe it's about time to put myself into a world right side up again. After all if worse comes to worse I could always claim that I live in a world upside-down.

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Yes, I am afraid that is all there is to this story. There shall never be anymore nor shall there be any less. I do hope you all enjoyed this story though it was rather chocked full of metaphorical crap. Though I suppose you all wouldn't expect much different from me, ne? Anyways, reviews are much appreciated, so please leave them! ^^