A/N : *bow deeply*……*bow again* …… *again* …… Okay stop it! *have a deep breath* Gomen nasai everybody!! It has been ages since the last time I updated! The only villains are my genious teachers who had the idea of having so many tests and homeworks at the same time! Proof? See the chapter I've finished down there! It was a mess and the story was sooooooooo twisted! _ I don't know what has gotten up in my mind! Because of the nonstop tests I guess. Well, just read it if you want. Enjoy!
To my beta: Thanks for your help! I know you're really busy but still spend some time for me… Just so many thanks! *hugs Miu-chan*
Katana : Umm, they are not really together yet *sweatdrop* Sorry if I messed them up ^_^* Tell me what do you think when you finish read this chap. Thanks because you like the previous one!
Mica-chan : There's nothing 'more' down there than the last. But I think the next chap will have ^^ Just tell me if you have other ideas to make this fic better.
Yami no Tenshi : Not for once I think you're criticizing me! Instead I'm really thankful for your concern both here and in 'Your Return'! Thank you 31X!!!!!! Feel free to tell me all the mistakes I made and if you have any other suggestion. BTW Tezuka and Fuji are 'very special friends' ^.^
Flowery : Sorry to make you wait so long, Hana-chan!!! (hana = flower, I hope you don't mind ^_^*) And sorry too if I make you disappointed with this chapter. It's not so simple to make them together… gomen for my twisted mind _ Thank you again! Your reviews always encourage me. It feels nice to know someone like this fic that much.
Doujin : Thanks for the review! Well, you know Oishi, he always worries everyone, including his fishes ^^ But that makes him look nice, right? And if you said 'formal confession' it was like he was gonna propose ^.^
Silver Star : TezuxFuji is your fave? Glad to know that! My friends mostly like other pairings but aren't they the best? ^^ Yes, we need more and more fics about them!! BTW thanks for the wonderful review!
Anonymous : You don't like shounen-ai but you like my story?… Geez, I'm so happy to know my fic is that good! Thanks for the review! I hope you continue reading this stuff! ^^ Oh, and sorry about the weird wordings. I hope I'm better in this one.
Chiby-y4kuza : First of all, I didn't ignore your suggestion to forget about all the tests, but well… you know I just can't do that ^_^* Gomen, Chibby!!!! Anyway, this is the next chap! About the rain thing, I always love the RAIN! I love it sooooo much! So I think good things should happen when it's raining ^^
Li : Thanks for the many reviews! Good to know you think this is good ^^ Saki is my chara, she doesn't exist both in manga and anime. I just need one girl who suitable for Fuji yet can't catch his heart ^^
DISCLAIMER : I don't own any of the Seigaku's member! They belong to their respectful author, Konomi-sensei.
WARNING : Shounen-ai and some angst.
Chapter 11 : When Love Crosses Ice
Fuji felt very warm. He hadn't felt so for countless nights but now he did. The comfort stayed with him through the night until his other senses took over. He could feel the soft bed sheet under his body and something warm on his face. Light seeped through his closed eyelids as he gradually opened them.
Huh? He blinked a few times only to find himself stared not into his bedroom ceiling, but somehow it seemed familiar. With some efforts, he tried to sit. He also wasn't sleeping on his bed and after some scrutinies, he decided it certainly wasn't his room which was repainted or refurnished during the night. Too many differences.
Then he remembered. Of course, how could he forget? Tezuka's room.
Promptly he looked to the bed. The captain was nowhere in sight, although the other side of the bed seemed to has been laid by someone. Or maybe it was himself? If that was true, where did Tezuka sleep?
Fuji felt panicked all of a sudden. What if his coming really disturbed the captain? Most of all, he couldn't recall when he ever agreed to let the host sleep somewhere else. He even didn't remember how he ended on the bed!
In the apprehensive state he was now, accidentally Fuji caught a sight of a pile of clothes folded neatly at the end of the bed. He reached to it and something fell from the heap. It was a piece of paper with his name on it.
The prodigy smiled. Almost he forgot what was happening last night. Now, when his brain had worked to its maximum status, the memory flashed through him. Somehow his body shuddered, remembering the slow passionate kiss.
He decided the clothes were put there for him and he wouldn't turn the good deed down. With that thought, Fuji walked to the bathroom. Inside, he realized a new toothbrush and a glass –he didn't see them last night- had been added by the sink. Again, there was a 'Fuji' paper placed near them.
What a romantic thing to do, he thought with amusement. This is the Seigaku captain who is notorious for his coldness.
After taking a bath and brushing his teeth, Fuji once again took the outfits. Absent-mindedly he registered the shirt was beige –his favourite colour- although a little bit large for his form. It was accompanied by black trousers –his second favourite colour.
After folding his previous clothes, he walked out from the bathroom, right at the same time the bedroom's door was opened, revealing the figure of his captain. Tezuka was slightly startled by his sudden appearance but the expression softened at the sight of his friend.
"Good morning," Fuji greeted with a sweet tone.
Tezuka gave him a little twitch of lips, "It seems you're better now."
"I really have to thank you and your family for this. Are your parents downstairs?"
The captain nodded, "I was about to call you to breakfast. Anyway," suddenly he approached his friend and placed a hand on the soft brow, the last night warmness had disappeared. "I don't think the rain has any effect on you."
The prodigy smiled playfully at him, "It's because too many other things were having effect on me last night."
Tezuka stared at his friend, not sure how to react. Was this really the naïve friend of his who was trying to tempt him just now? He always knew Fuji as a straightforward and innocent guy, not this Fuji who was standing in front of him right now. He had the 'predator' look in his eyes. Yet, he found this new realization somehow interesting.
"Is that so?" What the hell is happening to me!? Every time I'm somewhere near him, I always say stupid things like that! Okay, maybe I discover a new part of him. So what!?
What made things worse, his friend seemed to know his difficulty. The smile became wider and more…well, threatening. But a kind of threat which made your heart go frantic, full with pleasing beats. To think that Fuji smiled at him that way… It didn't lessen the anxiety he felt, though.
Suddenly he felt a finger traced his face. He was shocked but couldn't divert his gaze from the pair of blue orbs which still bored through him. The more Tezuka stared into them, the more he got confused. This felt like Fuji, yet not Fuji.
"Are you afraid of me, Tezuka?" his voice sounded more like a seduction than question.
The captain was stunned. He didn't know how to react but he realized something was definitely wrong. He just felt wrong about the person who was staring oddly at him. At last he jumped into a conclusion. Gritting his teeth, Tezuka grabbed the hand which was caressing his cheek.
"What happened, Fuji?" he asked, forcing his eyes to look as fierce as possible. "This is not you."
Fuji looked at him in such an innocent way, "What do you mean?" Still, Tezuka couldn't erase the feeling that it was false, no matter how perfect it was to his eyes.
"You understand perfectly what I mean. This . is. Not. You. Why are you acting like this?"
All of a sudden the other guy laughed, it was haughty and full of malice. And it certainly disturbed him a lot. "You don't know me, my captain. You don't know me even a bit."
"I know you and you aren't yourself," he still argued.
"Really? I don't think so."
"Be honest."
The cruel face suddenly turned dark. "What do you know about me? Nothing, Tezuka. Nothing!"
Tezuka tightened his grasp, he pretended not seeing Fuji winced a bit. "Don't be stubborn. Something is happening, right?"
"Shut up!"
"What is it, Fuji?" he demanded, not letting go even a second.
"Just shut up!" the prodigy hissed, but Tezuka could see his determination had shaken.
"Tell me," the captain said with a softer tone.
"No…please, Tezuka…" now his voice was filled by desperation. "Don't make me cry…"
Even with the plea, Tezuka didn't have any intention to stop. It hurt him to see if Fuji really cried but it was better than to see him being tortured inside. Slowly he wiped away a tear that was rolling down the soft skin. The azure pools followed his finger's movement. They were filled with loathing when he saw the water drop.
"So, I have cried after all," his friend said with an even tone.
Tezuka couldn't believe his eyes. Fuji smiled! He was almost sure his team mate had a double-personality when coincidentally he noted a tinge of sadness in the glittering eyes, before the owner deliberately shut them closed. Immediately he understood it all. He is not smiling. He's putting a mask. Maybe he always does all this time. Only based on what his heart told him, the captain reached out and kissed the still-smiling-fakely lips.
It was short –Tezuka promptly pulled away- but his arms resumed by circling the lithe body. His friend froze for a moment before at last gave up completely. Fuji didn't care what people would say, didn't care for his own promise not to cry in front of anybody, he just didn't care about anything now, except for someone who held him. His vision was blurring again and this time he was ready to accept whatever his body's reaction to the touch.
Unfortunately without any effort of prevention from himself, the tears refused to fall. It made his heart felt like it had burst. Fuji felt pain all over his chest and made a little startled sound signifying it. Unconsciously, his arms circled Tezuka to keep him standing up.
Just don't let me go…After his shaky voice said those words, his logic rose up. Immediately Fuji entangled himself from the other's hold. Mumbling a 'sorry', he darted to the bathroom and locked it. With a rush, he reached the sink to hold his body. The pain in his inner parts made him sick, it was almost unbearable. Still he couldn't cry.
Then when he was calmer, Fuji took a deep breath and washed his strained face. He looked up to the mirror and was horrified to see the eyes which were staring back at him. With confusion and desperation they were filled. The prodigy couldn't recall he had ever lost his composure that way. He had used to acting much more than anyone of his age, he had known it even before he remembered that the name 'Shuusuke' was his. He gained the skill naturally and had performed it for most of the times in his seventeen-years life. Therefore, Fuji Shuusuke definitely wouldn't let any of his true feelings revealed from any part of his body, including the eyes.
But now, his brain didn't seem to have a control anymore of the sight devices. His captain was surely the main cause. Fuji grasped the edge of the sink even tighter, he felt so annoyed of himself to lose control like that. But the fault was his own. Since the first time he met Tezuka, he had felt the guy would have a great influence on him. But, feeling convinced of himself, Fuji wasn't concerned about it. And now his suspicion was proven to be right. Oh, and also the last night kiss, it should be counted. So he had lost the control over his own body twice in the last 24 hours. Great.
Fuji sighed and lessened his distances from the mirror until his brow touched its own reflection. He felt he was staring at someone else's eyes. Who are you? You are not me. But well, I don't know myself anyway…
He didn't have any idea how the quiet leader could bind his heart with his oh-so-cool attitude. It should have been distasteful and surely would not attract him who used to live in lies. Fuji Shuusuke was far stronger than he seemed and far more cunning than everyone thought. He should be able to resist Tezuka's charm with the capability he possessed. He had succeeded to trick everyone around him anyway, including his family. As a notification, even the last night runaway was one of his schemes It was not a brash desperate escape. He just didn't want to marry his annoying boyhood friend. But running to Tezuka's house was the little flaw. It wasn't in the scenario. It was his heart's decision.
Slamming his fist to the mirror, Fuji recalled angrily of his previous tear; it was the first teardrop he spilled for years. Even when he said, 'don't make me cry' he only tried to stop his captain. He knew he couldn't cry. He had forgotten how a crying felt anyway. But that damn tear fell! Okay, the last night incident might be acceptable since people mostly lost controls at night. But this! They were standing in a brightly-sun-lit room!
Inhaling a deep breath, the prodigy forced his mask forth. He wasn't ready, at least for now, to reveal himself to anyone, including HIM. Even if Fuji thought Tezuka was the only one he would let to know, IF he had to let somebody know about it. Just not now. Let the real Fuji wait a little longer.
After made himself certain everything was set, he opened the door. Fuji was puzzled to see the captain was not in the bedroom. But suddenly he saw him sitting on the balcony. The dark eyes were looking at him intensely but the owner didn't move a bit. Then the prodigy decided to approach.
As he made each steps, Fuji found it was harder and harder to maintain his composure. He couldn't break the eye contact, somehow he feared to do it. Even he didn't feel any temperature increase when the warm ray touched his skin. All his attentions were only for the captain. The glare remained still and the always stoic face didn't make any help. It was a rather nerve-wrecking sight even for his composed self. Fuji had no idea how his face looked like at the moment. It must be a deadly nervous one.
When eventually he stopped in front of Tezuka, the prodigy had lost everything he was about to say. How he hated his disability! Thankfully, he still had his logic which prevented him from doing anything stupid. Biting his lips slowly, Fuji commanded his mouth to say something. Anything to cut the unpleasant silence.
"Gomen ne, Tezuka. I know I shouldn't run away like that," Fuji was truly surprised of himself when he felt the smile easily turned up on his lips. A habit perhaps. With his usual smile, he could simply play any role he wanted. Fine, now the control was his once again.
Tezuka seemed to realize this as well. He cursed silently but his only reply was, "Will you tell me what the matter is?"
"Not now," Fuji answered, shoving his hands into the pockets. "I promise I will tell you, but not now."
"You're lying," the captain accused.
"Tell me what I can do to convince you."
"Nothing."
He won't give up, will he, Fuji thought grimly. Why doesn't he just accept that!? I'm making a serious offer now, something I will never do in millions incarnations! "Come on, Tezuka. There is surely one way to make you believe."
The Seigaku leader gave his friend a look, "I've seen you and that taught me not to believe you."
Fuji was stunned by the answer. Nevertheless he regained his calm quite fast and placed himself beside his captain. Leaning his head a bit to the side of Tezuka's shoulder, he tried another way, "Yes, you shouldn't try to believe me. I'm not sure myself, so why will you?"
The other guy didn't respond both to his touch and words. In the other hand, instead of resuming his acting, Fuji felt his mask was slipping away when he began to enjoy the sensation of leaning to his captain. It was added by the comfortable sunlight, soft rustling wind, and the humming of birds surrounded them. He closed his eyes and mumbled absent-mindedly, "Maybe you just like the Fuji you had seen all this time."
"Maybe," with that answer, Tezuka raised his hand and gently pushed the prodigy's head closer to his neck. "But don't you think I will try to know the real Fuji and love him also?"
Still with his eyes closed, Fuji replied, "I don't think you will love-" suddenly his heart beat with one loud thud when he realized what the leader was saying. He tilted his head, looking at his captain, "did you just say 'love'?"
Tezuka was caught. He didn't know he had said it before the prodigy told him. Still, he tried to get away. "You said it first."
"I didn't," Fuji replied. "I said maybe you 'liked' me."
Dead end. The only thing Tezuka could do was casting away his sight and trying to hold his blush from appearing.
Fuji smiled softly at him –it felt odd but somehow relieving because he didn't make it intentionally. It was formed out from his heart when he saw his captain reaction. Baka Shuusuke, I think you truly fell in love with him… Gently he took Tezuka's hand and squeezed it, making the other guy look back at him.
"I will tell you, Tezuka. I promise."
The Seigaku leader still made no response. Fuji knew the captain still doubted both his words and himself. Well, nothing could be done for now. He smiled again and said, "Let's go downstairs. I think we've made your parents wait too long."
With that, they walked hand-in-hand out of the room.
* * *
Like what they had done on previous Sundays in almost three years, Oishi and Kikumaru were outing again today. For Kikumaru, it was more like a remembrance to the awful misunderstanding of 'Sunday dates' he and Oishi were having three years ago. However, the result was good for their relationship so that he celebrated it.
By his side, Oishi was retelling the conversation between him and Tezuka last night, added by his own opinions here and there. The acrobatic player was so excited to know Fuji had been spending the night in their captain's house.
"I bet something happened! What do you think, Oishi?"
The vice-captain nodded vigorously, "I hope so. But I think you're right! Just think, why did Fuji go to Tezuka's house? Why not your house or mine? And to think that they were alone –just the two of them- in Tezuka's bedroom…"
The redhead frowned at him, "How do you know they stayed in the same room? I'm sure Tezuka wouldn't tell you that, a guy like him."
Oishi smiled, "My instincts told me, with the help of several facts and conclusions."
"No way you can do that. It was your guessing only," Kikumaru stuck his tongue out. "If only it was true… isn't it Kaidou?"
His partner followed his gaze and found not only a sullen-faced Kaidou but also the impassive Inui. It was odd to meet them wearing neither school nor tennis uniforms. And Kaidou was wearing trousers, something Oishi had never seen him putting on other than his school uniform. Even though the lower-grader seemed annoyed, they looked so natural in each other presence. That didn't surprise him though.
"Oi! Kaidou!," Oishi heard his friend yell. The owner of the particular name stopped dead on his tracks when he saw his senpais. The usually harsh visage turned into a bright shade of red instantly. Just imagine, the heartless viper was discovered to be accompanied, or to be more precise, dated by the data-man. Oishi felt sure, if human could change into an ostrich, his kouhei would have done it by now and shoved his head into the ground, no matter if the pavement had been asphalted.
The Golden Pair approached the other double pair, since they hadn't made any sign of moving. Kaidou fidgeted nervously as the range was decreasing and became highly uncomfortable of his close proximity with Inui when the other merely smiled nonchalantly.
"What are you two doing? Dating?" Kikumaru asked.
If it was possible, Kaidou was more and more crimson now. "DATING!!?? I AM NOT DATING!!!"
"That was uncalled-for," Inui stated, facing his 'date'. "You said 'yes' last night."
"YOU SAID YOU HAD TO BUY SOMETHING IN THE SHOP TOO!!! THAT'S WHY I AGREED!!!" Kaidou didn't seem to realize the trespassers were all staring at him suspiciously now, or Oishi was sweatdropping, or the amused look Kikumaru had on his face. He was too occupied by his attempt to clear his name.
"Well, at least you agreed," the glassed guy replied lightly, "and you are only embarrassing yourself with those shouting, you know."
Kaidou seemed he was about to explode, but his face was more like a flustered girl than a dangerous viper. Couldn't keep up any longer, he ran away from the catastrophe, leaving Inui behind. The unusual doing made Kikumaru laughed merrily while in the other hand, his partner was rather worried.
"Ano… don't you think it will be better to go after him now?" Oishi suggested hesitantly.
Inui shrugged as a response, "I have gotten used to this. Don't worry, I'll find him soon. By the way, what about Fuji, Oishi? You only said he was alright last night."
"Oh, he was spending the night at Tezuka's house. Everything should be fine by now."
Inui raised his eyebrows at this reply, "Tezuka's house? That's surely interesting." He fished the green book out from below of his jacket and began to write the newly discovered fact.
Kikumaru blinked at his act. "Ano… are you writing that?"
"Sure," Inui answered, still writing, "Perhaps this will affect his style of playing."
"How?" asked two confused unison voices.
"Who knows?"
The Golden Pair sweatdropped.
* * *
"Thank you for the meal, Tezuka-san."
Tezuka's mother waved her hand impatiently. "You don't need to be so courteous, Fuji-kun. Just feel like home."
"Thank you."
"Why are you saying 'thank you' all over again?" the team's captain mumbled, his voice was tinged with irritation.
Fuji blinked at him, "Ah, well… because it's worth it?"
Tezuka snorted as his father laughed at both Fuji's and his son's reactions. Secretly, he exchanged knowing glances with his wife. Although it wasn't palpably displayed, they could read what their son felt about this certain friend. If there was one of the most impossible things about their son they wanted to happen, it was 'he fell in love'. And now, after the wish was granted, they were very glad to see his feeling seemed to be reciprocal.
"Well, thank you…" Fuji stopped at the death stare of his captain and smiled apologetically, "I think I'll be going now. Thank you again, Tezuka-san, although your son won't accept this."
Both of the parents laughed again while their son was looking all sour at his team mate. "Sure, sure. I'm sure Kunimitsu can drive you home."
"You don't have to, really," Fuji quickly responded at the offer, "Beside, I am planning to meet someone on the way. Please don't be bothered."
"Well, if you say so…" Tezuka's father said hesitantly.
"It's fine, really."
"So be it. Please come whenever you want, Fuji-kun. I'm pretty sure Kunimitsu will be VERY happy," he threw a teasing glance at his son who was glaring at him.
"Thank you," Fuji rose and bowed. Before he finished bowing, he was already dragged out by Tezuka who was mumbling something incoherent about 'saying thank you too much'.
After he closed the front door, Tezuka released his hold of Fuji's hand reluctantly. It was nice to have Fuji's hand in his, but his alarm reminded himself about the prodigy. Right, he didn't know Fuji anymore. Turning around, Tezuka got a look of a still smiling Fuji.
"You managed to trick my parents successfully," he stated evenly.
The smile faltered and once again the captain was facing someone he didn't know. He failed to recognize any expression on the calm countenance as Fuji's, or to be more exact, the Fuji he used to know. The stranger stared at him, somehow seeming satisfied.
"You're getting smarter, Tezuka."
Even the voice was hardly recognized by him as Fuji's. Tezuka felt confused, he had no idea how to deal with the situation any longer. Which one is the real him? This one, or the one I know, or maybe the other one I haven't seen? He had to admit, if his friend didn't suffer any personality illness, he must be a great actor, being able to played roles of 180 degrees different persons.
"Well, ja ne. I'll see you at school," Fuji patted his shoulder and simply walked away. Tezuka could only stare at his disappearing figure. Still, his face was as stoic as ever.
* * *
After he reached a safe distance from Tezuka's house, Fuji felt his limbs gave up instantly and he crumbled to the hard pavement. The pain was increasing once more and still his tears refused to be spilled. Therefore he had no way to release himself from the sickness. The prodigy groaned, his fingers were clutching the beige shirt tightly, right in front of his aching heart. The pain was infectious and now the other organs were also throbbing in ache.
God, why is it hurt? What the hell he's doing to me?
Leaning himself against the metal hedge of the pavement, Fuji tried to subdue his difficulty of breathing, an almost impossible effort for he had lost all the controls he had. His mind could only focus on one person, the one he didn't want to think of right now. Fuji hated him, he was the cause of all of his pain. Unfortunately his heart didn't obey him. It fell in love with him. And now Fuji hated and loved him more than ever.
'You managed to trick my parents successfully.' Those words rang incessantly through his head. He couldn't blame Tezuka for hating his attitudes, still that moment Fuji felt the urge to slap his captain. He was dishonoured by the remark. Mr. Perfect did not know how hard Fuji tried to resume his role as the cruel one, how suffered he was. He only saw himself as the lone victim. That was why Fuji hated him.
'But don't you think I will try to know the real Fuji and love him also?' A memory flashed through him. The image of Tezuka appeared before his bare eyes. The cold hearted captain who did gentle things to him. The stark figure which he always loved to steal glances at. The first person he kissed with so much passion. His Tezuka. That was why Fuji loved him.
How can I blame him for thinking me as a jerk? I didn't do anything that showed him my real feelings. He must be thinking I'm only playing with his heart…
Fuji smiled forlornly to the grey pavement. Perhaps it was the best for the two of them. He knew, Fuji Shuusuke the fool would never deserve Tezuka Kunimitsu. Never. His captain could find someone else a lot better than himself easily. Beside, he had been bounded. If he showed Tezuka how much he loved him, it would only hurt both of them in the future for they were not meant to be.
The prodigy buried himself at the scent of his captain from the clothes he wore, fully savouring it. It was suffocating him, yet Fuji craved for it. He just couldn't get away. Instinctively, his arms were lifted and embraced himself. He felt very cold despite the warm radiating sunlight. He felt very very cold. And no one was there to comfort him.
Because he thinks I'm only playing with his heart…
I know this is long but it's still TBC ^^
Thanks for reading! Please give me comments, reviews, or anything but no flame please! Arigatou!
