THE SECRET DIARIES OF MAMI AND POKO: THE ADVENTURE IN MIDDLE-EARTH

*This is a parody of Lord of the Rings, and not meant to destroy Tolkien's piece of art. All LotR characters belong to J.R.R. Tolkien...

MAMI'S DIARY

Day One...

Funnily arrived in some kinda woods. Very tired. Poko kept asking where we were. I said, in woods, but didn't help.

Day Two...

Arrived in some place called Mirkwood, I think. Some lunatic said she was an elf and asked where we came from. I said from nowhere and she thought I was a lunatic too. Met Legolas Greenleaf, who kept seeing if his hair was in place.

Day Three...

Saw a hobbit called Fatty. Kept picking his nose and flinging bogies on the ground. Then later picked them up to eat. Disgusting, so Libby and me dared not go near him. Some extremely lunatic guy. Must have the Mental Hospital. Can't understand why they don't set it up.

POKO'S DIARY

Day Four...

Heard from this Mirkwood (or is it Mackwood? Must have had too much of McDonald's.) elf-king that we are being sent to Rohan to live as mortals. Must have been that we were too annoying, cos we weren't pretty enough to live with the elves.

Day Six...

Finally reached Rohan. Chased by some cloaked guys along the way. I think they're Legolas fans. Saw a mortal (so many names!) named Eowyn. She is in love with Aragorn, or Aragog, or even bottergourd? Can't remember. Heard Aragorn likes elf called Arwen.

Day Seven...

Noticed that Mami has started to fall for Legolas. Poor girl.

MAMI'S DIARY

Day Eight...

Saw Eowyn and Aragorn spar. Heard her say, "Ditch the elf or else." So much for love. Fallen in love with Legolas...Poko seems to know. She hinted me about Faramir. I think she likes him.

Day Nine...

Told Poko to escape. Had it planned out.

Day Twelve...

Escaped from Rohan. Stole some weapons. Headed somewhere. Dunno where.

POKO'S DIARY

Day Thirteen...

Pursued by cloaked ones again. We lost them. Hurray!

Day Fourteen...

Encountered some stupid-looking creatures called orcs I think. Disgusting. I flung one to kiss the tree.

Day Nineteen...

Finally reached someplace called Hobbiton. Lotsa large feet there and shorties with curly hair. Dunno if they are like Fatty. Yuck, I wouldn't want to think about it!

MAMI'S DIARY

Day Twenty...

Heard from some hobbit named Pipu that today was uncle Bingo's birthday. Asked us to attend since we were here.

POKO'S DIARY

Day Twenty-one...

Poor Mami. She has got sleepy ears again. She took Pippin for Pipu, and Bilbo for Bingo. Poor poor Mami.

We had a great party yesterday. Fireworks and food. Fritter Bigshits was dancing among the crowd yesterday. Cute.

MAMI'S DIARY

Day Twenty-two...

Poor little Poko. Having poor memory again. Took Frodo Baggins for Fritter Bigshits!

Day Twenty Three...

Saw Marry-my-dog Brandy-for-a-buck today. He was so lovely. Like Pipu. Having a great time. Saw Fatty again. Dunno how he got here, dunno how he went there. He's picking his ugly nose again. Yuck.

POKO'S DIARY

Day Twenty Four...

Oh gosh...Meriadoc for marry my dog? Mami is getting worse! And yesterday that Fatty came over to me and sang a song to me. So unbearable. Made him go away. Miss Faramir. Wish to see him again.

Day Twenty-five...

You wouldn't believe this. Legolas' fans are in the Shire! I heard them say, "Shire!!! Bigshits!!!" So scary, their voices were. Gave me the goosebumps.

Day Twenty Six...

Mami has been crying lately. I think she misses Legolas. Poor girl.

MAMI'S DIARY

Day Twenty Seven...

I think we have to leave the Shire. Big feet people didn't like tall ones like us. Grabbed our swords and went away.

Day Twenty Eight...

I think we reached home at last. Where's home? I think we dreamt everything, that's all.

THE END!