A/N: Sorry for the delay, I was flanked with tasks! But I'm a bad student so instead of study, I ended up in front of my computer ^^ Thank you for your reviews! They helped me to resume this fic! Okay, now please read the next chapter down there. It's not so long but something is going on… ^.^

A/N2: This chapter is specially dedicated to my friend who had just celebrated her birthday on March 24th. I hope you'll like this present! ^^

DISCLAIMER : Every single characters in this chapter except the Saki girl is NOT mine! And all of you know who owns them, right?

WARNING : m/m pairings and some lime (you have been warned, so don't flame me!)

Silver Star : Yeah, right! I hope you'll like this chap too! Tezuka x Fuji is just so perfect!

Tsukinoko : He didn't have a heart attack but if I continued in torturing him, he might have one ^^ Anyway, he's just fine until now.

Yami no Tenshi : You asked for some actions, so I tried to make one. So what do you think? As a matter of fact, they are not really getting into an action _ I'm soooo inexperienced in writing things like that… Just hope you like it. BTW if you have time please tell me any error I've made in this fic. I really appreciate your help all this time! And one more thing, actually me myself don't know who the real Fuji is ^^ He's just so complicated…

Li : Absolutely right! Fuji suffered a personality complex! Isn't it obvious in the anime? (well, that's just my thought… ^^)

LadyDeath : Wow, thanks! Atobe? Umm, I don't know if he will do with Saki… Actually he seems to be the right guy. Thanks for the idea, maybe I'll materialize it!

sTrAwbErRyfAnSz : Don't worry, Fuji will EVENTUALLY open himself to Tezuka. And isn't love confusing? That's what make it interesting ^^ And in this chap they ARE making out ^_^* Well, not explicit, but- just read it by yourself then tell me what do you think! Doumo!

Flowery : I guess I follow your suggestion. And your problem is exactly like mine : I am not ready to write a lemon scene. I don't want to change the rating anyway ^^ I hope you still like this fic after this chap!

Sadame XX : I perfectly understand, Miu-chan! Don't worry, I've told you, if you are so busy, don't bother to beta it until you have some free time. Thanks for your help!

Chapter 12 : The Way We Are

Tezuka walked slowly passing the crowded stores at his left side. People's shouting and the hullaballoo of bargains didn't affect his thought a bit. He was just walking, didn't see where his feet took him. The captain was too occupied by the thought of someone who had been absent for days.

He still hasn't showed up! Where the hell is he? It has been ten days since the last time I talked to him. TEN DAYS! He hasn't come to school since then! What is going on!?

The prodigy was once again missing. No one seemed to know where he was except his family who merely said he was sick but didn't accept any visitor. His closest friends were suspicious, but they accepted it. Not Tezuka. Although his anxiety was unwarranted, the cool guy couldn't help but worry.

His sight drifted to people around him. Unconsciously the eyes scanned the passing faces as they were searching for a certain smiling face. The captain couldn't lie anymore to himself. He had definitely fallen for Fuji. The yearn he felt was so great, it was almost unbearable. What would you do if you kept thinking of someone, couldn't get that person off your mind? What would you do if you couldn't feel happy without seeing him and yet he wasn't there to behold? The ice guy had never known this kind of feeling was existed, not until now. And he didn't like it a bit. It was devastating him. If love means you have to feel like this, go to hell with love! I don't understand why some people are looking for it! And what about the people who don't look for love, but it just inevitably comes to them? Shit! Why can't I get away from something as negligible as this!?

Tezuka sighed, the anger to himself only worsened his bad mood which had claimed lots of casualties, including his team mates. They ran at least 50 laps a day, but the regulars who lost a match had to run another 20 laps. It was a miracle that none of the regulars had fainted during the harsh training. That was why no one objected when Konomi-sensei announced there would be no practice today. Even Tezuka didn't complain.

For the Seigaku's captain, tennis was his life. So why did he feel like he couldn't play? Why did he feel unwhole even when he was standing on the court? It just didn't make sense.

Because of him.

He snorted at the thought. Tezuka Kunimitsu, the ice king, was lovesick. What news.

However deep in thought he was, he could still hear the sound of balls being hit. Promptly his head turned to the source. It was a sport centre, there must be at least one tennis court.

Accidentally he caught a sight of two persons he knew. Morita Saki and Fuji Yuuta. The closest persons to Fuji. Too bad it isn't his aniki. They were walking to the sport centre, both had a tennis bag on their shoulders. Yuuta seemed a bit worried but his companion was as cheerful as usual at school. They didn't realize Tezuka was observing them.

All of a sudden, the captain felt an infinite hatred was breeding inside of him when he stared at her back. If only she didn't come, everything would be alright. Tezuka shook his head, such a thought shouldn't appear. After all, she was HIS fiancee. Deciding it would do him no good to stay there, he resumed his way home.

*   *   *

"Yokatta! Konomi-sensei is so nice to let us have a day off!" Kikumaru exclaimed happily to his partner. "I don't think I can stand the practice any longer!"

Oishi, who was walking beside him, looked anxiously at the redhead. "Do you mean you'll faint or something if we have more practices like that?"

"Oh well, actually no," his friend smiled comfortingly at him. "We all suffer because of it but we know why, right?"

The taller guy nodded silently. As usual, he was the person who would worry about things which slightly went wrong, but this was an exception. His anxiety might rival Tezuka's even though he didn't have a special feeling to their absent team mate. He was more worried about their beloved captain. The quiet leader seemed to have slipped the grasp of himself, something that would never happen if Fuji was around. His eyes flickered to Kikumaru, wondering if he would go through the same thing like Tezuka if his partner was missing.

"Ah, we're home already," Kikumaru's voice woke him up from the train of thoughts. They were already standing in front of the acrobatic player's house. "What about if you come in, Oishi? I want to show you my new teddy bear! Nee-chan bought him for me when she went to France!"

"Okay," the vice-president smiled softly at his friend. Well, it was better. He didn't want Kikumaru to think over and over again about the problem engulfing their friends right now. The cheerful guy would go all serious and silent if they were talking about it. It didn't suit him and Oishi didn't like to see his friend so sad.

When they stepped into the house, the phone rang.

"I'll get that and tadaima!" Kikumaru yelled to the house and immediately ran to the phone. "Kikumaru's house!"

Oishi witnessed the happy face faltered into a serious one and he found out why when his friend spoke again. "Ah yes, Yumiko-san. I don't have anything to do right now so I can go to your house-"

His words seemed to be cut by the person in the other line. The redhead listened for a while before answered, "Someone close to Fuji other than me? Well, maybe Tezuka, but…No? Umm, Oishi then. Fortunately he's here with me now." The vice-president rose his eyebrows when he heard his name was uttered. "Yes, we'll be waiting, Yumiko-san. See you."

After his friend put the receiver down, Oishi asked, "What happened?"

Kikumaru shrugged and leaned himself to the wall behind him. "I don't have an idea. Yumiko-san said she wanted to talk with me and someone else who was also close to Fuji about him. I told her Tezuka was the one but she said no. I didn't know why, so I suggested you. Wait," his face looked troubled once more, "you are not busy this night, are you, Oishi?"

The taller guy smiled, "No, I will gladly accompany you. Is she coming here?"

"Yeah. She said she was the one who needed to talk so she should come. I wonder what she wants to talk about."

Oishi looked at his friend seriously, "Maybe the cause of Fuji's absence."

"Maybe," His friend sighed, then smiled warmly, "Well, it can wait until she comes. Now, let's see my teddy, Oishi! He is impatient to meet you!" Oishi merely nodded and followed his partner upstairs.

*   *   *

Tezuka stared at his Physic's book in desperation. He had been working on the homework for more than two hours and still hadn't finished. The formulas seemed to stay away from his brain. Even the bath he had taken to clear his head didn't have any effect.

Eventually he gave up and slammed his pencil down on the desk. He buried his head in his hand, staring blankly to the darkness. Tezuka didn't want this to happen because it would ruin his excellent scores. But what could he do if his mind was already beyond control? It wasn't his decision to fall in love with the missing guy anyway. Until now, love had only brought calamities to him.

Sighing slowly, he looked to the clock on his desk. 19.01. That made him remember his parents were away tonight, they would come back tomorrow. So here he was left, miserably alone with his incessant thought of Fuji. Great.

When he felt a slight pang in his stomach, the captain realized he hadn't touched anything since breakfast. And Mother is not home, Tezuka thought grimly. Well, I'll just buy something…

He was about to open his bedroom door when he heard some soft knocks. His brown eyes were looking at the door in front of him. The sound didn't seem to come from behind this door. Then his sight fell to the glass door which lead to the balcony. The curtain had been shut but it seemed that there was somebody outside. He moved carefully and peered through the transparent door. It was nerving him to find nobody was there.

At last Tezuka decided to open it. If it was a ghost or something that intended to disturb him, let it face the pissed-off Seigaku's captain. He needed to release the piling up stress anyway.

Tezuka was welcomed by the cool night breeze when he slid the door open. No one stood in front of him so he stepped the threshold. Who the-

His eyes caught a sight of a figure standing beside him. His chestnut hair was slightly ruffled by the wind, arms were folded in front of his chest. He was leaning to the wall and a little smile was on his lips. And the blue eyes…

"Fuji."

The other guy's smile widened at the call of his name. In the other hand Tezuka was heavily shocked. How could you expect a missing friend whom you terribly missed would appear in the middle of the night right outside you door? The captain definitely had never thought of it. His throat had gone dry since he mentioned the name and so they stood in silence for a minute before Fuji decided to cut it.

"You won't invite me to come in?" Still with the smile Tezuka didn't recognize.

The captain stepped aside, allowing his guest to come in. Fuji threw him a smile with a 'thank you' before Tezuka followed him. After closing the door, he turned around to see his friend was standing in the middle of the dimly lit room. His stare had changed although not to the one Tezuka used to know. This one also made him uncomfortable.

"Where have you been?" At last he managed to say something.

Another predatory smile appeared before his eyes. "I don't see why it's important," Fuji answered while his feet were reducing the range between them. "Do you miss me that much, Tezuka-buchou?"

Fury was built inside of him. "What the hell are you saying?"

The prodigy continued to smile and eventually he stopped in front of the captain. They were barely separated by an inch now. "I'm glad if you missed me."

Tezuka didn't answer it, he was merely staring to the hypnotizing orbs. Suddenly a pair of lips were pressed upon his own, the slim fingers were holding the back of his neck. He was caught for a moment before his mind started to shout at him, demanding him to break the kiss. With a great reluctance, he grabbed the sides of Fuji's head and freed his lips.

"What do you think you're doing!?" the usually calm leader whispered angrily. He couldn't explain why he didn't just yell at the impolite guest.

The smaller guy put a seducing smile and caressed his cheek, "Can you say you don't want me, captain?"

"You…" Tezuka was about to slap him when his lips were captured again. With the way they were moving in front of his own, it was impossible for Tezuka not to respond. Oh God, just stop me… He knew at this rate he would loose his mind. At the time he began to return the kiss, his arms were already on Fuji's waist and neck. He felt their tongues intertwined in the most intimate way they could. Still, he couldn't find a way to satisfy the insatiable emotion inside him. He just wanted more and more of Fuji.

Because he had lost his senses, Tezuka didn't realize when they began to move, advancing to the bed. The only thing he knew when they broke to breathe was that he had Fuji beneath him. The prodigy lay motionlessly in the sexiest way he could ever imagine, the azure pools were staring at him wildly, his breathings were short and ragged. It was already too much for Tezuka to resist. He couldn't.

Pale hands were lifted and Tezuka felt his glasses were removed. The fingers slowly trailed his face to his neck and to his slightly exposed chest. The captain shivered. He had never allowed anybody to touch him this way. But this guy…

Tezuka lowered his face and their lips were once again making contact. He felt the emotions were running inside him as his movements were already beyond control. Their bodies were pressing each other and his tongue began to move wildly inside Fuji's mouth. The prodigy moaned softly as the fingers of his captain was descending his body. Tezuka himself felt another hands were roaming the skin beneath his shirt, the fabric he would soon rip off.

Don't ever go away again…

*   *   *

"Eiji," The Golden Pair looked up when they heard the door was opened. Kikumaru's mother stood before them, still wearing an apron. "Yumiko-san is here. She wants to meet you."

"Okay," the redhead jumped down from his bed as his partner stood up quietly. Soon they were facing Fuji's older sister, who immediately rose from her seat when they entered the room. Her face was all troubled and it was obvious that she hadn't had a good sleep for few days.

Before the guest could say any courtesy, Kikumaru abruptly said, "So, Yumiko-san, what's the matter with Fuji?"

The young woman smiled sadly, "If only I can do something about it, Eiji-kun. Well, I think I must tell you the main cause. Does any of you know that he is engaged?"

Oishi stared unbelievably at her as his friend's jaw dropped. "Wh-what?"

Fuji Yumiko sighed. "So you don't know. I believe you know the girl, she is Morita Saki, your new classmate. I-", she gulped before resuming, "I think Shuusuke doesn't approve the engagement so he- well, opposed our father and caused some troubles at home. Then Otou-san decided to show him the reason of this marriage."

The vice-captain found his anxiety was breeding, "Show him- how? He's alright, isn't he?"

"Physically," the older sister replied softly, "but I don't know what has happened inside him. He has hidden himself since he was a little kid. And now it's difficult to tell what's in his mind."

The acrobatic player looked thunderstruck at the new discovery, "Hiding himself? You mean he- he was not himself all this time? Even- when he was with us?"

"I don't know about that, Eiji-kun," she answered sadly, "When he met you, he was already hard to read. His acting was so perfect, even in my opinion. But perhaps you are the first person who was able to open him a little bit. And then when he befriended you guys, and everyone else in the tennis club, I thought he had found his place, but now- it's like his former-self has come back and-"

Oishi found his throat was dry after the explanation. His voice sounded hoarse when once again he spoke up, "Why did he do that, Yumiko-san, lying to us like that?"

"I'm afraid I am not the right one to tell you about it. He will answer it by himself when he's ready."

The raven-haired guy stole a glance at his friend who suddenly fell silent. In his eyes, there were only disbelief and hurt. Instinctively he reached out and touched the clenched-tightly hand but the owner didn't give any reaction. Oishi was disturbed by the blank expression that he almost felt he couldn't forgive the prodigy for making his beloved so sad.

"Is he alright?" all of a sudden Kikumaru asked.

"He said he had made his mind, whatever his decision was. But he went somewhere just before I left. I wonder where."

The golden pair threw glances at each other. They knew exactly where Fuji went for there was only one place the prodigy could possibly go.

*   *   *

Tezuka woke up with a warm steady breathing beside him, his room was still dark as midnight. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes were the brown strands of hair blocking his sight. Carefully, he shifted his head to get a better look of his prodigy.

HIS. Yes, he knew Fuji was his after what they did this night. The way the tensai gave up to him was not something that could be counterfeited, no matter how good his acting was. Tezuka smiled at the sleeping face. Gently he brushed away the locks blocking the closed eyelids. He was too beautiful and so perfect. The captain found it was hard to believe that he had made love with such an enthralling creature. He had known that Fuji was beautiful since the first time they met but definitely not like this, not this captivating.

Maybe love isn't too bad at all…

Suddenly the long lashes fluttered slightly, revealing the blue orbs. A smile appeared on the rosy lips as Fuji recognized the person who was holding him. Tezuka didn't hate this new smile. It was a smile someone could only give to their lover.

They abolished the-already-close range between them by locking their lips together again. Unlike the wild intoxicating kisses they had shared before, this one was sweet and comforting. Tezuka found himself felt contented as the kiss deepened. They were unable to let go for a long time.

When eventually they parted, the captain practically wrapped his arms around Fuji as he was afraid of loosing contact. The prodigy gently laid his head on his shoulder.

Tezuka... Fuji said the name silently over and over again. He leant to the touch even further, savouring all the scents his captain had. This is the right place for me, yet I can't stay forever. I made the worst mistake to come here but at the same time it was the only thing I wanted. God, why are You so cruel…

"You are irresistible," he heard Tezuka murmured to his hair. Fuji smiled at this. You don't see yourself, captain. The way you touch me is more than irresistible…

They stayed in the silent bliss for a few minutes before Fuji felt the warmness was slipping away. He opened his eyes and saw his leader sat at the side of the bed, his back was facing him. Suddenly the prodigy felt that Tezuka was about to leave him. Before he was aware, his lithe fingers had already grabbed the other guy's elbow.

"Where are you going?" he heard his voice whispered in fear when the deep brown eyes turned to him.

The gaze softened as Tezuka answered, "I'm going to take a bath. Care to join me?"

"Oh…" Fuji felt a wave of relief washed his heart, at the same time his hand released its hold. "No, I think I'll get some more sleep."

The captain nodded and walked towards the bathroom, leaving Fuji deep in his thought. The prodigy was so confused. I was scared to lose him. Why?

Unconsciously his hand lingered to the other side of the bed, where his captain had just laid. The warmth was still there. It killed him to know there would be no more time for him to have Tezuka beside him. But he couldn't prevent it. He had made his choice.

It's for the best, Fuji thought sorrowfully, for everybody, even if it means sacrificing my happiness. But… I don't know how to tell him. It will break him- no, us... He looked at the bathroom door. I'm sorry, Tezuka…His hand had formed a fist, clenching the bed sheet tightly.