I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
EVANESCENCE- "My Immortal"
Farewell to Lorien
After dinner, Legolas and Gimli disappeared into the darkness, most likely to discuss ways to annoy Celebruthiel the next day- or so she thought with a smile. She said goodnight to the rest of the Fellowship, whispering to Pippin that if he got nervous, to join her, and then headed to the makeshift home she had made with Legolas. When she entered the sitting room, she discovered her mother awaiting her return.
"Mother, is everything all right?" Celebruthiel questioned, fearful something had occurred since this was the first time either of her parents had sought her out this late.
Galadriel turned to the sound of her daughter's voice. Sadness etched her features. She was afraid of her daughter's reaction to the news she was about to give. She'd had such a short time with her daughter and still could not judge her moods. And unlike most of the other occupants of Lothlorien, Celebruthiel had managed to close her mind to her so that she could not always gauge her daughter's feeling, thoughts, and whereabouts. Galadriel wondered briefly if it was something Celebrian had taught both Celebruthiel and Arwen, for all three managed to unnerve her with the same trait.
"Your father had determined that it is time," Galadriel said, refocusing her thoughts to the task at hand.
"Time?" Celebruthiel whispered as she staggered on her feet. Galadriel immediately rushed to her daughter to offer a steadying hand.
"Oh my darling," she said softly, "I am so sorry, but I thought you should hear it from me before your father announces his decision tomorrow."
Celebruthiel squeezed her mother's hand in reassurance. "It is not as if I did not know the time would come," she whispered. "I have just been trying to pretend it would not."
"I know," Galadriel said in hushed tones. "But Frodo must go on. He must find a way to destroy the Ring."
Celebruthiel looked at her mother sharply. "Why do you only name Frodo? What do you know, Mother?" she asked insistently.
"I know the Ring had already corrupted the mind of one. Frodo must go on alone," Galadriel answered, thinking back on the conversation she'd just recently had with the Halfling in question. "To be the bearer of a Ring is to be alone," she murmured, repeating the words she'd relayed to the Hobbit.
"But what of the others?" Celebruthiel questioned, needing an answer but dreading the reply.
Galadriel silently observed Mirriel for a moment, scanning her face for a sign, something to indicate how much her daughter had already seen, how much she knew. Mirriel had some of her own ability to foretell events, but Galadriel did not think it was a skill she had mastered control of. "My daughter, what have you sensed of their quest?" Galadriel asked quietly.
"I know Aragorn's way is not with the Ring. The rest I do not see and that scares me. You say one is already corrupted. How will this affect the others?"
Galadriel shrugged her shoulders but Celebruthiel was not certain if she would not or could not answer her. Celebruthiel clutched her mother's arm.
"If you know something, you must tell me now," Celebruthiel hissed. "I would not have it in my heart to forgive if something happened to Legolas that you could have prevented."
Galadriel smiled sadly. "I do not know where the path leads once they separate from the Halfling. My vision is blocked by shadow. I know there is something there, just out of view, but I cannot grasp it."
Celebruthiel nodded in sad resignation. "What good is knowing at all if it does not help us? The small amount we do know only makes the not knowing worse."
"Mirriel, you must prepare yourself now, for the Ring might not be destroyed and we will have to depart Middle Earth. I fear you have become far too attached to this place. I do not want to see you destroyed if it cannot be saved."
"I thought better of you, Mother. How can we remain hidden in our forests while Evil runs rampant over Middle Earth? Haven't we remained separated from Men long enough?"
"We got involved once before and it almost destroyed us. Men betrayed us," Galadriel retorted. Galadriel paused and saw for the briefest instant a glimmer into her daughter's mind as the image of a mind flashed before her eyes. "I also care deeply for Aragorn, but he is just a man."
Celebruthiel shook her head, denying her mother's statement. Aragorn was so much more than just a man. "That is my father talking," Celebruthiel hissed. "Don't you think I have heard all this before. Isildur turned his back on Elrond when he declared himself the Rings possessor. I have heard of nothing but this betrayal. But Aragorn is not Isildur!"
"Time has not written Aragorn's role in the Ring's destiny," Galadriel said quietly.
"So out of fear, we are to turn our backs on him now?" Celebruthiel questioned loudly. "And would your opinion differ if he was one of us? Or is one of us became like him?"
"What are these riddles you speak?" Galadriel asked sharply, her eyes narrowing suddenly. She realized Celebruthiel had just unintentionally given her a key piece of information. But with all the many puzzles before Galadriel, she wasn't certain just where the piece fit.
Celebruthiel glanced away from her mother as she wondered what her mother would think is she knew what Arwen had done, that she would be remaining in Middle Earth until her death. Would her opinion change of all they would be forced to leave behind, when she discovered Arwen would live a mortal life? "Just understand this, Mother. This Quest affects us all deeper than you realize. In the many years that Arwen was here with you, Aragorn became a brother, a friend. I have never been close to Elladan or Elrohir. So with Arwen gone, Aragorn was all I had. He will never mean less to me than that. And on the morrow he and my husband leave to fight an enemy my people run from."
"We are not running, Mirriel. Our time on this Earth has passed. We can no longer hold the fate of Middle Earth in our hands. I am tired. And the protection I give these woods becomes more difficult with each passing day," Galadriel confided sadly. For the first time Celebruthiel saw the toll her mother's passive resistance was taking on her spirit.
"I understand. Just know some of us might not be able to sail West. We are already far too involved. There are those I cannot leave behind," Celebruthiel said softly.
"My daughter, I understand your attachment to those sent to destroy the Ring, especially the Hobbit, Pippin. I ask just one thing. Be careful. Do not let these alliances destroy you."
"Mother, forgive me but I cannot give you what you ask," Celebruthiel said in the barest of whispers. With a heavy heart, she turned from her mother and walked into the bedroom she shared with Legolas. Her mother had been her last hope for she knew her father, both of them that is, were letting the Fellowship walk to their deaths unaided by the Elves.
When Legolas returned, he immediately knew something was not right. But Celebruthiel refused to tell him what plagued her. There was desperation in her every movement, the way she clung to him throughout the night. The way she clenched around him when they made love as if she was trying to absorb every last drop of him. And she was. In her selfishness, she prayed for a child in the hope that if Legolas did not return to her, her arms would not be left empty. With a child, she knew she would have something to live for and she would retire to the West, whether or not Sauron was destroyed.
****
The next evening, when Celeborn summoned the Fellowship to his chambers, Legolas understood Celebruthiel's actions the previous night. They were to leave Lorien and continue on their quest. And Legolas was torn between his wife and his duty. He wanted this deed done, over with so he could resume his life with Celebruthiel in peace. But his heart broke at the thought of leaving her behind. Even though he knew she must remain with her parents for her own safety, he still worried about not being there to protect her if something should occur. So that evening, after the Fellowship had each gone their own direction, Legolas sought out the most unlikely individual, Haldir.
Haldir was surprised and very wary as he watched Legolas stealthy approach him. By now, everyone in Lorien knew of Celeborn's decree that the Fellowship would be leaving at first light. And though affected by the Princess' sadness, many would be glad to see the strangers depart. Haldir still wasn't completely certain of Legolas' intentions, if he was going to confront him or walk right past. He received his answer when Legolas stopped a few feet from him and quietly said,
"I would like a word with you, if you do not mind, Haldir." After Haldir nodded and ushered Legolas to a more secluded spot, Legolas continued. "I have a request- one I do not think will be such a hardship for you to uphold."
"What is it you want from me?" Haldir asked, his stance still very much on guard, ready to defend himself if need be.
"I want your word that you will keep an eye on Celebruthiel. I do not know how she will react once we depart," Legolas replied, a pleading look encompassing his face. He really hated having to go to Haldir in this manner and beg for his help. But in doing so, it also lessened his feelings of helplessness. And he hoped his worry would also be alleviated, at least a little bit.
Haldir was stunned by the request and it clearly showed on his facial features.
"You must understand," Legolas whispered fervently, "Celebruthiel can be unpredictable at the best of times. And while I am certain she understands all that is at stake, probably more than most, I still am not certain she will not try to follow us. And she must stay in Lorien for her own safety." Legolas grabbed Haldir's arm in his urgency.
"I comprehend what you are asking," Haldir confirmed as he reassuringly patted Legolas' hand. "I will do what I can to keep her safe in your absence."
Legolas could not ask for more than that and removed his hand from Haldir's arm. "I appreciate your assent, though I expected nothing less from Celebruthiel's childhood protector," Legolas said with a curt nod. Then he turned and left Haldir standing silently behind him.
Haldir understood Legolas' meaning behind his words and how much it vexed the other Elf to have to come to him. Legolas would be leaving on the morrow. And he had entrusted Celebruthiel into his care, possibly for all eternity, for Legolas was going to war and he might never return.
****
Celebruthiel had not been invited to attend the meeting with the Fellowship, which was just as well. Celebruthiel feared hearing her father speak the words would cause her to break down and appear weak in front of those she now considered friends.
She sensed great turbulence coming from a few of the members, Aragorn and Frodo in particular. As she approached their pavilion, she realized they were encompassed in a debate over what they should do now. The majority wanted to go to Minas Tirith first, Boromir being the most vocal. There was no census before the group, some of whom had already fallen asleep, split for the night.
Celebruthiel first sought out Gimli. Even though she greatly desired to speak to Aragorn, she knew he would not seek his bed for many more hours. Gimli, on the other hand, would be fast asleep as soon as he lay down.
"Mistress Celebruthiel, we missed your company this evening," Gimli said as he watched Celebruthiel sit beside him on his pallet.
"My dear Dwarf friend," Celebruthiel began in the barest of whispers, "my heart could not take the talk of goodbye this evening. Tomorrow will come soon enough for such words. But I had much I felt needed to be said to you before daybreak," she said urgently, her voice rising in volume as she clutched Gimli's arm.
"Speak, my lady," Gimli said as he patted the hand that was griping his arm like a vice. Gimli had to admit he was curious about Celebruthiel's present mood. It was rare for her to be anything but cheerful and teasing in his presence. Their playful moods generally seemed to feed off one another. But Celebruthiel was presently anxious and it unnerved Gimli.
Celebruthiel smiled and eased the pressure she had on Gimli's arm. "It's not as bad as my mood implies. I understand what needs to be done. If only it would make the leaving easier," she replied with a sigh. Gimli opened his mouth to respond but Celebruthiel cut him off. "Never mind all that. I did not seek you out to burden you with my hardships."
"Isn't that what friends are for?" Gimli asked in utter seriousness.
"Under normal circumstances, that may be. But these are troubled times and you have plenty of your own burdens to occupy your thoughts. Anyway, I have something of greater importance to bring to your attention. I must ask- nay beg- a favor from you, dear friend."
"Ask and it shall be yours," Gimli stated without hesitation. She could ask him to enter Mordor, his eyes blindfolded, and he would do so.
"I will not hold you to that until you hear me out," she said with a laugh. "Legolas can be trying at the best of times."
"What has this to do with Legolas?" Gimli asked, clearly intrigued now. He had no clue what she had planned for him, but Gimli knew that if it involved Legolas, it was of great importance to Celebruthiel.
"You and Legolas have become quite friendly in these weeks since we entered Lothlorien. I know he will remain by your side for no other reason than you are dear to me. I ask that you not let him get too melancholy wherever the road should take you. At first Legolas will be loath to admit the importance he has placed on a Dwarf. Do not let him get away with this. Please do not back down. I fear the more clearly he realizes his need for you, the more he will try to push you away."
Gimli's bright smile and outright laughter dimmed the ache in Celebruthiel's heart. "A stubborn Elf is no match for an even more stubborn Dwarf. Anyway, what has been done cannot be undone. The perils ahead will do nothing but solidify that, I promise you."
"I hope you are right," she said softly. "I know little of how war effects one; Elf, Dwarf, or Man. It forged a friendship between Man and Elf once long ago. If not for the Ring, it might have remained so. And there was a friendship, tentative though it might have been, many years passed between my mother and your kindred. I hope this can be forged again." She paused a moment and Gimli wondered if she was finished. But he remained silent for she stayed deep in thought. "I know the Fellowship has grown close. But I sense things, like a wedge driving you apart, and I do not understand this. If this comes to pass, I pray you and Legolas band together, whether you travel to Minas Tirith or farther East." She blinked as if coming out of a trance then turned to Gimli as he spoke.
"And if I told you I would tie myself to the Elf if this was to come to pass, would that ease your troubled mind?" Gimli asked softly. He patted her arm gently as he continued, "Mistress Celebruthiel, you have nothing to fear. These days in Lorien have forged something that neither one of us I believe would ever have imagined. But still, it is there- a friendship between an Elf and a Dwarf. A friendship that will probably never occur again in my lifetime, for the differences in our peoples are just too great. But the bonds of this friendship have already formed deep and strong."
Relief traveled through Celebruthiel and she smiled. "Thank you for your reassurance, dear friend. I will leave you to your bed now. I must find Aragorn before he seeks his rest." Celebruthiel leaned over and kissed Gimli's cheek. She left a very surprised Dwarf sitting on his pallet holding his cheek in his hand.
****
Celebruthiel made her way through the city of Galadriem, letting her heart lead her until she reached a dense thicket. It reminded her of the secret glade she called her own in Rivendale. But as she reached forward with her hand, she sensed different emotions permeating the branches and leaves, such sadness and longing. Forcing her way through the living wall, Celebruthiel worried that she'd been led to the wrong spot.
"Arwen!" Aragorn called out hopefully as he jumped to his feet. He'd felt her presence all day, much more so then in the days past. So Aragorn had gone to their special place in the hope of encountering her.
"It is just I," Celebruthiel called out as she emerged from the thicket. In the center was a very small clearing, big enough for four or five adults to sit in a small circle.
Aragorn smiled cheerfully but his eyes betrayed him. Celebruthiel could see the disappointment in their blue depths.
"I feel Arwen so distinctly that I keep expecting to see her around every corner," Aragorn said in response to the questioning look Celebruthiel was directing at him.
"That is because of the pledge Arwen made to you," Celebruthiel said as she sat at Aragorn's feet. She patted the ground beside her and Aragorn resumed his seat. "She thinks of you." Celebruthiel looked at Aragorn and smiled sadly. "It gets distracting, does it not, to be such the recipient of another's desire. I must tell my sister to control her impulses."
"And is this how you convey your thoughts to Legolas?" Aragorn asked softly. He did not want to seem to be prying, but he was interested in her answer. He had never experienced the feelings coursing though him before and wasn't quite sure if this was normal.
"By Valor, no. Legolas and I have been married far too long to bother with such silly emotions," she began but was quickly interrupted by Aragorn's dry commentary,
"Yes, a whole month is a dreadfully long time."
"You cannot imagine. I spend a fair portion of my day reminding him of the tasks he must accomplish. It is a trial," she stated in such a serious tone that Aragorn took pause for a moment. He then noticed the corners of her lips twitching and he smiled. Celebruthiel returned his look with an impish grin as she playfully knocked her shoulder into Aragorn's side.
"Maybe I should rethink my position. I would hate to become such a burden."
"Oh, it is too late for that, I fear," Celebruthiel said with a laugh. Aragorn pretended to be offended as she lightly swatted at his arm. "In all truthfulness," she began as a tender smile played across her lips, "I was so young when I first felt the connection I have with Legolas that it has become a part of who I am. It just seems to have always been, so I do not know how to answer your question. Severing my ties to him would be like losing a limb." Celebruthiel paused briefly as she looked thoughtfully at Aragorn. How could she possibly explain what she felt to someone not of the Elven race? "But these ties are also a part of who we are as a people. I have them with every member of my family in one respect or another. I think when I was younger, I was impulsive and spent considerable time annoying Legolas by seeking out his thoughts. I think I worried every time he returned to Mirkwood that I would loose his affections. As I grew older, I managed to gain some control, though how much I am sure he would dispute," she stated with a giggle.
"Maybe I should be speaking to him concerning this," Aragorn teased.
"Maybe you should," she replied in sudden seriousness. "You just might get a better perspective from Legolas."
Silence fell over the two, as each became embraced in their own thoughts. An unexpected sadness overtook Celebruthiel's features and Aragorn wondered at the reasoning behind it.
"I sense bad news in your forlorn expression," Aragorn said quietly, studying Celebruthiel for any sign of a reaction.
She sighed heavily then settled her probing gaze on Aragorn. He felt immediate discomfort and longed to turn from his sister. But Aragorn had learned long ago that whatever was behind that gaze would only follow him into the future.
"I do not know if it is good or bad. That is why I am so troubled. What I see is such a kaleidoscope of images before my eyes that I am not certain exactly what I am looking upon. It could be the present or it could be the future. All I know for certain is that the path ahead will be difficult for us all," Celebruthiel said solemnly.
"But you would not be here with me now if there was not something, not when this is the last evening to be spent with your husband," Aragorn said thoughtfully.
Celebruthiel looked at him sharply. Sometimes she thought Aragorn too observant for a mere man. Celebruthiel had on many occasions wondered if Elven blood ran deeper in his veins then she'd been told.
"I see death, Aragorn. It follows you closely." Celebruthiel suddenly gripped his arm tightly. "Do not stray from the path, lest it overtake you."
"What does that mean?" Aragorn demanded, a hard edge to his voice.
"I do not know," she hissed in frustration. "I do not understand what I see and I wonder at the usefulness of it at all. But something compels me to speak of this with you as if you should understand."
"I do not," Aragorn replied frantically.
"I only hope that when the warning should be heeded, you will recognize the moment." Tears welled in her eyes. "I pray this is so," she whispered. "I am so sorry." She stood ready to flee his presence, feeling she'd made an error in judgment, causing nothing but pain for Aragorn.
Aragorn grabbed her arm. "Do not leave me," he pleaded. Celebruthiel watched him silently for a moment before she nodded and resumed her seat. Aragorn placed his arm around her shoulders and rested his cheek on the top of her head. They sat silently, each taking solace in the other's presence. They both knew there were no words that could change the future, for good or bad. Both only prayed that this was enough.
****
After her conversation with Aragorn, she had decided to keep her visions to herself, not to speak of the things she had seen with Legolas. But late that evening, lying in Legolas' arms, Celebruthiel wondered if she was making a terrible mistake. Would it be better to tell him what she did- or in this case- did not know of the future? If there was one who was already corrupted by the Ring, was the Fellowship headed toward certain doom? Would her speaking of such things affect the outcome either way? And would the outcome be for the worse? Or were they better off not knowing? After Aragorn's reaction, Celebruthiel had been inclined to believe they were better not knowing, because if her mother was incorrect, the damage those spoken words would have could be dreadful. The Fellowship could not leave on the morrow distrusting each other. It could cost them their very lives.
She stayed this way until daybreak, going over every last detail in her mind, trying in vain to piece it all together. She felt she'd been running in circles all evening, getting nowhere. And as the faint light streamed through the open doorway, Celebruthiel finally gave up trying to force some unseen vision from her mind's eye. Celebruthiel sighed in frustration and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. She said a silent prayer to Valor that she was making the right choice. She knew she'd never be able to live with herself if none of them returned home because of her.
Legolas finally turned to her, propping himself up on his elbow, and studied her face closely. "Are you going to tell me what has been troubling you this night?" he asked quietly.
Celebruthiel eyes flew open in surprise. She sighed again, wondering why she should feel surprise any longer. Legolas was always very in tune to her emotions. And she had been riding an emotional tidal wave all evening.
"I will miss you," she replied with such profound sadness. "I try to convince my arms that they will not ache from the loss of holding you. That my eyes will not be blinded by tears because they long to look upon your beautiful face. That my heart will survive the not knowing if you are okay." Tears began to well in her eyes and Celebruthiel wondered if it would just be better to flee, to avoid this goodbye.
"Kala, if it is in my power, I will return to you. And if it is not, I want your solemn word that you will leave this place," Legolas said softly as he brushed her hair from her temple and planted a soft kiss there.
"Please do not ask this of me," she whispered tearfully. "It is not a promise I can give you."
"But you must," he stated forcefully, grabbing her by the shoulders roughly and shaking her in desperation. "I want your vow that you will take Arwen and leave with Lord Elrond. I cannot do this is I must worry that my death will leave you vulnerable, Kala. I must know you will be safe, because you and I both know it is likely I will not return."
"Do not say that!" she hissed as she pulled from his arms. Celebruthiel jumped up from the bed and stared down at him in disbelief. "How can I let you go when you say such things?"
Legolas sat up and watched her warily. "I go to war, Kala. You and I both know the likelihood of our defeat is great. But I will do everything in my power to come home to you," he whispered. "Your vow, Kala, please," he begged as he held his arm out to her. With a sob, Celebruthiel returned to his arms and nodded into his shoulder.
As she helped Legolas get dressed for his journey, her hands roamed over him, trying one last time to memorize every inch. Once he was ready and Celebruthiel could think of no other excuse to prolong his departure, she pressed her frame tightly against his one last time. Legolas wrapped his arms around her, inhaling deeply in her hair in the hope of remembering her fragrance in the long nights to come. He finally pulled away from her and held out his hand.
"I do not know if I can do this," she whispered as she backed away from his outstretched hand.
"Kala, you must," Legolas said softly. "If this is your last chance to say goodbye, you will regret not taking it in the days to come. And Pippin would not understand if you did not come."
She knew he was correct, but even so, it did not make the task any easier. Celebruthiel closed her eyes. She took in a deep breath, steeling herself against what must been done. There was one thing an Elf knew well, and that was duty. She reopened her eyes and nodded to Legolas, reaching out to grasp his steady hand in hers.
They walked quietly through the city, acknowledging no one until they reached the pavilion. The remaining members of the Fellowship were packing their belongings in a sluggish fashion, it evident in their movements that none was anxious to continue their journey. But set in the lines of each members face was the solemn resolve of one who was bent on completing an unwelcome task, no matter the cost.
Pippin finally looked up and spotted Celebruthiel standing just at the outer rim of their camp. He immediately called out to her as he jumped up and ran to her. He tightly wrapped his arms around her thighs.
"I did not think you were going to come," he stated.
Celebruthiel looked over the Halflings head and smiled sadly at Legolas before responding. She pried the little hands from her body and dropped to her knees so she could look into his eyes. "Pippin, I would not let you leave this land without saying goodbye. And in my heart, I know this will not be the last time we lay eyes upon each other." Celebruthiel smiled reassuringly as she felt her heart break in two. She only prayed the words she spoke were the truth.
As she pulled him into her arms, she noticed Haldir standing beside Aragorn, waiting quietly. Celebruthiel pulled away from Pippin and looked at him questionably.
"It is time," Haldir stated as he glanced at those around him. He avoided Muriel's gaze, paying particular attention to Aragorn. He did not want to have to acknowledge her grief-stricken eyes. "I have been sent to be your guide once again. Come. Your path now goes south."
When Pippin reached out to take Celebruthiel's hand, she stepped back from him. "Please understand," she said softly as she looked from Pippin to the rest of the Fellowship, " I must say goodbye here."
Aragorn and Gimli nodded in sad understanding. Aragorn quickly approached her, taking her into his arms.
"My brother," she whispered brokenly, "may the grace of Valor follow your footsteps."
Aragorn pulled back from her slightly to look into her eyes. "You take care of yourself," he said softly. "And try to control those impulses."
Celebruthiel laughed and kissed his cheek. "I will try," she replied, feeling a sudden lightness she had not expected. She mouthed her thanks as Aragorn stepped away from her and returned to Haldir's side.
Gimli was the next to step forward. He felt a surprising constriction in his chest at the thought of leaving this Elf behind, whatever the reason behind the action might be. Gimli knew there was much he had not been told concerning Celebruthiel and her reasons for returning to Lorien. They had all been told her safety was at stake. But at that moment, Gimli wished she were continuing on with them. As they embraced, Gimli renewed his promise to her concerning Legolas. Celebruthiel smiled at his assurances and lightly kissed his forehead.
Celebruthiel said a quick farewell to both Sam and Boromir. She knew Sam was still concerned about her and he couldn't prevent from portraying his relief at their separation.
When Merry stepped forward, Celebruthiel motioned to Pippin, also. She placed a hand on each of the Hobbit's shoulders as she bent down to look directly into their faces.
"You most both promise me to be careful," she demanded. "And to look after each other."
The two Halflings nodded, both too overcome to speak. As Merry stepped away from her, Pippin threw himself against her. Celebruthiel hugged him fiercely before Merry grabbed Pippin's arm and pulled him away from her.
As Frodo approached her, Celebruthiel noticed a new understanding lingering in his gaze. She thought back to the conversation she'd had with her mother. She quickly realized Frodo had already decided on the course he would take, one that would separate him from the rest. Celebruthiel was almost relieved at this knowledge- almost. It also gave her pause. She wasn't certain if the Halfling could accomplish the task on his own and she was frightened for him- and for herself.
"Be careful, Frodo Baggins, for the fate of us all rests in your hands," she said softly. "If I could help you with your burden, I would not hesitate."
Frodo nodded, still uncertain exactly how to respond to Celebruthiel. He glanced over his shoulder and noticed the rest of the Fellowship as they began following Haldir from the pavilion. He quickly moved to catch up with them. The only one who remained was Legolas. When they were out of sight, he pulled Celebruthiel roughly into his arms.
"You must go now," she whispered as she clung to him. "It will not get any easier if you prolong it." Celebruthiel kissed him softly, her lips lingering on his, unwilling to break contact. Finally as a sob escaped her lips, she pulled from his embrace and turned her back on him.
"I love you. I always have and I always will," he said softly, his arms reaching out, wanting to enfold her back into their embrace. They dropped to his side, feeling empty and bereft. Then Legolas turned and after glancing over his shoulder one last time, he left Celebruthiel once again. Only this time, Legolas hoped she would remain where she was, safe.
After the Fellowship had eaten a small meal with Celeborn and Galadriel, and were back in the boats, rowing away from Lothlorien, Legolas spotted Celebruthiel standing solemnly at the shore. She made no movement of acknowledgment, just stood there silently, tears coursing down her cheeks. Legolas looked away from her. He had to or he would have jumped from the boat and returned to her side. That was the last glimpse Celebruthiel had of Legolas and the Fellowship.
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
EVANESCENCE- "My Immortal"
Farewell to Lorien
After dinner, Legolas and Gimli disappeared into the darkness, most likely to discuss ways to annoy Celebruthiel the next day- or so she thought with a smile. She said goodnight to the rest of the Fellowship, whispering to Pippin that if he got nervous, to join her, and then headed to the makeshift home she had made with Legolas. When she entered the sitting room, she discovered her mother awaiting her return.
"Mother, is everything all right?" Celebruthiel questioned, fearful something had occurred since this was the first time either of her parents had sought her out this late.
Galadriel turned to the sound of her daughter's voice. Sadness etched her features. She was afraid of her daughter's reaction to the news she was about to give. She'd had such a short time with her daughter and still could not judge her moods. And unlike most of the other occupants of Lothlorien, Celebruthiel had managed to close her mind to her so that she could not always gauge her daughter's feeling, thoughts, and whereabouts. Galadriel wondered briefly if it was something Celebrian had taught both Celebruthiel and Arwen, for all three managed to unnerve her with the same trait.
"Your father had determined that it is time," Galadriel said, refocusing her thoughts to the task at hand.
"Time?" Celebruthiel whispered as she staggered on her feet. Galadriel immediately rushed to her daughter to offer a steadying hand.
"Oh my darling," she said softly, "I am so sorry, but I thought you should hear it from me before your father announces his decision tomorrow."
Celebruthiel squeezed her mother's hand in reassurance. "It is not as if I did not know the time would come," she whispered. "I have just been trying to pretend it would not."
"I know," Galadriel said in hushed tones. "But Frodo must go on. He must find a way to destroy the Ring."
Celebruthiel looked at her mother sharply. "Why do you only name Frodo? What do you know, Mother?" she asked insistently.
"I know the Ring had already corrupted the mind of one. Frodo must go on alone," Galadriel answered, thinking back on the conversation she'd just recently had with the Halfling in question. "To be the bearer of a Ring is to be alone," she murmured, repeating the words she'd relayed to the Hobbit.
"But what of the others?" Celebruthiel questioned, needing an answer but dreading the reply.
Galadriel silently observed Mirriel for a moment, scanning her face for a sign, something to indicate how much her daughter had already seen, how much she knew. Mirriel had some of her own ability to foretell events, but Galadriel did not think it was a skill she had mastered control of. "My daughter, what have you sensed of their quest?" Galadriel asked quietly.
"I know Aragorn's way is not with the Ring. The rest I do not see and that scares me. You say one is already corrupted. How will this affect the others?"
Galadriel shrugged her shoulders but Celebruthiel was not certain if she would not or could not answer her. Celebruthiel clutched her mother's arm.
"If you know something, you must tell me now," Celebruthiel hissed. "I would not have it in my heart to forgive if something happened to Legolas that you could have prevented."
Galadriel smiled sadly. "I do not know where the path leads once they separate from the Halfling. My vision is blocked by shadow. I know there is something there, just out of view, but I cannot grasp it."
Celebruthiel nodded in sad resignation. "What good is knowing at all if it does not help us? The small amount we do know only makes the not knowing worse."
"Mirriel, you must prepare yourself now, for the Ring might not be destroyed and we will have to depart Middle Earth. I fear you have become far too attached to this place. I do not want to see you destroyed if it cannot be saved."
"I thought better of you, Mother. How can we remain hidden in our forests while Evil runs rampant over Middle Earth? Haven't we remained separated from Men long enough?"
"We got involved once before and it almost destroyed us. Men betrayed us," Galadriel retorted. Galadriel paused and saw for the briefest instant a glimmer into her daughter's mind as the image of a mind flashed before her eyes. "I also care deeply for Aragorn, but he is just a man."
Celebruthiel shook her head, denying her mother's statement. Aragorn was so much more than just a man. "That is my father talking," Celebruthiel hissed. "Don't you think I have heard all this before. Isildur turned his back on Elrond when he declared himself the Rings possessor. I have heard of nothing but this betrayal. But Aragorn is not Isildur!"
"Time has not written Aragorn's role in the Ring's destiny," Galadriel said quietly.
"So out of fear, we are to turn our backs on him now?" Celebruthiel questioned loudly. "And would your opinion differ if he was one of us? Or is one of us became like him?"
"What are these riddles you speak?" Galadriel asked sharply, her eyes narrowing suddenly. She realized Celebruthiel had just unintentionally given her a key piece of information. But with all the many puzzles before Galadriel, she wasn't certain just where the piece fit.
Celebruthiel glanced away from her mother as she wondered what her mother would think is she knew what Arwen had done, that she would be remaining in Middle Earth until her death. Would her opinion change of all they would be forced to leave behind, when she discovered Arwen would live a mortal life? "Just understand this, Mother. This Quest affects us all deeper than you realize. In the many years that Arwen was here with you, Aragorn became a brother, a friend. I have never been close to Elladan or Elrohir. So with Arwen gone, Aragorn was all I had. He will never mean less to me than that. And on the morrow he and my husband leave to fight an enemy my people run from."
"We are not running, Mirriel. Our time on this Earth has passed. We can no longer hold the fate of Middle Earth in our hands. I am tired. And the protection I give these woods becomes more difficult with each passing day," Galadriel confided sadly. For the first time Celebruthiel saw the toll her mother's passive resistance was taking on her spirit.
"I understand. Just know some of us might not be able to sail West. We are already far too involved. There are those I cannot leave behind," Celebruthiel said softly.
"My daughter, I understand your attachment to those sent to destroy the Ring, especially the Hobbit, Pippin. I ask just one thing. Be careful. Do not let these alliances destroy you."
"Mother, forgive me but I cannot give you what you ask," Celebruthiel said in the barest of whispers. With a heavy heart, she turned from her mother and walked into the bedroom she shared with Legolas. Her mother had been her last hope for she knew her father, both of them that is, were letting the Fellowship walk to their deaths unaided by the Elves.
When Legolas returned, he immediately knew something was not right. But Celebruthiel refused to tell him what plagued her. There was desperation in her every movement, the way she clung to him throughout the night. The way she clenched around him when they made love as if she was trying to absorb every last drop of him. And she was. In her selfishness, she prayed for a child in the hope that if Legolas did not return to her, her arms would not be left empty. With a child, she knew she would have something to live for and she would retire to the West, whether or not Sauron was destroyed.
****
The next evening, when Celeborn summoned the Fellowship to his chambers, Legolas understood Celebruthiel's actions the previous night. They were to leave Lorien and continue on their quest. And Legolas was torn between his wife and his duty. He wanted this deed done, over with so he could resume his life with Celebruthiel in peace. But his heart broke at the thought of leaving her behind. Even though he knew she must remain with her parents for her own safety, he still worried about not being there to protect her if something should occur. So that evening, after the Fellowship had each gone their own direction, Legolas sought out the most unlikely individual, Haldir.
Haldir was surprised and very wary as he watched Legolas stealthy approach him. By now, everyone in Lorien knew of Celeborn's decree that the Fellowship would be leaving at first light. And though affected by the Princess' sadness, many would be glad to see the strangers depart. Haldir still wasn't completely certain of Legolas' intentions, if he was going to confront him or walk right past. He received his answer when Legolas stopped a few feet from him and quietly said,
"I would like a word with you, if you do not mind, Haldir." After Haldir nodded and ushered Legolas to a more secluded spot, Legolas continued. "I have a request- one I do not think will be such a hardship for you to uphold."
"What is it you want from me?" Haldir asked, his stance still very much on guard, ready to defend himself if need be.
"I want your word that you will keep an eye on Celebruthiel. I do not know how she will react once we depart," Legolas replied, a pleading look encompassing his face. He really hated having to go to Haldir in this manner and beg for his help. But in doing so, it also lessened his feelings of helplessness. And he hoped his worry would also be alleviated, at least a little bit.
Haldir was stunned by the request and it clearly showed on his facial features.
"You must understand," Legolas whispered fervently, "Celebruthiel can be unpredictable at the best of times. And while I am certain she understands all that is at stake, probably more than most, I still am not certain she will not try to follow us. And she must stay in Lorien for her own safety." Legolas grabbed Haldir's arm in his urgency.
"I comprehend what you are asking," Haldir confirmed as he reassuringly patted Legolas' hand. "I will do what I can to keep her safe in your absence."
Legolas could not ask for more than that and removed his hand from Haldir's arm. "I appreciate your assent, though I expected nothing less from Celebruthiel's childhood protector," Legolas said with a curt nod. Then he turned and left Haldir standing silently behind him.
Haldir understood Legolas' meaning behind his words and how much it vexed the other Elf to have to come to him. Legolas would be leaving on the morrow. And he had entrusted Celebruthiel into his care, possibly for all eternity, for Legolas was going to war and he might never return.
****
Celebruthiel had not been invited to attend the meeting with the Fellowship, which was just as well. Celebruthiel feared hearing her father speak the words would cause her to break down and appear weak in front of those she now considered friends.
She sensed great turbulence coming from a few of the members, Aragorn and Frodo in particular. As she approached their pavilion, she realized they were encompassed in a debate over what they should do now. The majority wanted to go to Minas Tirith first, Boromir being the most vocal. There was no census before the group, some of whom had already fallen asleep, split for the night.
Celebruthiel first sought out Gimli. Even though she greatly desired to speak to Aragorn, she knew he would not seek his bed for many more hours. Gimli, on the other hand, would be fast asleep as soon as he lay down.
"Mistress Celebruthiel, we missed your company this evening," Gimli said as he watched Celebruthiel sit beside him on his pallet.
"My dear Dwarf friend," Celebruthiel began in the barest of whispers, "my heart could not take the talk of goodbye this evening. Tomorrow will come soon enough for such words. But I had much I felt needed to be said to you before daybreak," she said urgently, her voice rising in volume as she clutched Gimli's arm.
"Speak, my lady," Gimli said as he patted the hand that was griping his arm like a vice. Gimli had to admit he was curious about Celebruthiel's present mood. It was rare for her to be anything but cheerful and teasing in his presence. Their playful moods generally seemed to feed off one another. But Celebruthiel was presently anxious and it unnerved Gimli.
Celebruthiel smiled and eased the pressure she had on Gimli's arm. "It's not as bad as my mood implies. I understand what needs to be done. If only it would make the leaving easier," she replied with a sigh. Gimli opened his mouth to respond but Celebruthiel cut him off. "Never mind all that. I did not seek you out to burden you with my hardships."
"Isn't that what friends are for?" Gimli asked in utter seriousness.
"Under normal circumstances, that may be. But these are troubled times and you have plenty of your own burdens to occupy your thoughts. Anyway, I have something of greater importance to bring to your attention. I must ask- nay beg- a favor from you, dear friend."
"Ask and it shall be yours," Gimli stated without hesitation. She could ask him to enter Mordor, his eyes blindfolded, and he would do so.
"I will not hold you to that until you hear me out," she said with a laugh. "Legolas can be trying at the best of times."
"What has this to do with Legolas?" Gimli asked, clearly intrigued now. He had no clue what she had planned for him, but Gimli knew that if it involved Legolas, it was of great importance to Celebruthiel.
"You and Legolas have become quite friendly in these weeks since we entered Lothlorien. I know he will remain by your side for no other reason than you are dear to me. I ask that you not let him get too melancholy wherever the road should take you. At first Legolas will be loath to admit the importance he has placed on a Dwarf. Do not let him get away with this. Please do not back down. I fear the more clearly he realizes his need for you, the more he will try to push you away."
Gimli's bright smile and outright laughter dimmed the ache in Celebruthiel's heart. "A stubborn Elf is no match for an even more stubborn Dwarf. Anyway, what has been done cannot be undone. The perils ahead will do nothing but solidify that, I promise you."
"I hope you are right," she said softly. "I know little of how war effects one; Elf, Dwarf, or Man. It forged a friendship between Man and Elf once long ago. If not for the Ring, it might have remained so. And there was a friendship, tentative though it might have been, many years passed between my mother and your kindred. I hope this can be forged again." She paused a moment and Gimli wondered if she was finished. But he remained silent for she stayed deep in thought. "I know the Fellowship has grown close. But I sense things, like a wedge driving you apart, and I do not understand this. If this comes to pass, I pray you and Legolas band together, whether you travel to Minas Tirith or farther East." She blinked as if coming out of a trance then turned to Gimli as he spoke.
"And if I told you I would tie myself to the Elf if this was to come to pass, would that ease your troubled mind?" Gimli asked softly. He patted her arm gently as he continued, "Mistress Celebruthiel, you have nothing to fear. These days in Lorien have forged something that neither one of us I believe would ever have imagined. But still, it is there- a friendship between an Elf and a Dwarf. A friendship that will probably never occur again in my lifetime, for the differences in our peoples are just too great. But the bonds of this friendship have already formed deep and strong."
Relief traveled through Celebruthiel and she smiled. "Thank you for your reassurance, dear friend. I will leave you to your bed now. I must find Aragorn before he seeks his rest." Celebruthiel leaned over and kissed Gimli's cheek. She left a very surprised Dwarf sitting on his pallet holding his cheek in his hand.
****
Celebruthiel made her way through the city of Galadriem, letting her heart lead her until she reached a dense thicket. It reminded her of the secret glade she called her own in Rivendale. But as she reached forward with her hand, she sensed different emotions permeating the branches and leaves, such sadness and longing. Forcing her way through the living wall, Celebruthiel worried that she'd been led to the wrong spot.
"Arwen!" Aragorn called out hopefully as he jumped to his feet. He'd felt her presence all day, much more so then in the days past. So Aragorn had gone to their special place in the hope of encountering her.
"It is just I," Celebruthiel called out as she emerged from the thicket. In the center was a very small clearing, big enough for four or five adults to sit in a small circle.
Aragorn smiled cheerfully but his eyes betrayed him. Celebruthiel could see the disappointment in their blue depths.
"I feel Arwen so distinctly that I keep expecting to see her around every corner," Aragorn said in response to the questioning look Celebruthiel was directing at him.
"That is because of the pledge Arwen made to you," Celebruthiel said as she sat at Aragorn's feet. She patted the ground beside her and Aragorn resumed his seat. "She thinks of you." Celebruthiel looked at Aragorn and smiled sadly. "It gets distracting, does it not, to be such the recipient of another's desire. I must tell my sister to control her impulses."
"And is this how you convey your thoughts to Legolas?" Aragorn asked softly. He did not want to seem to be prying, but he was interested in her answer. He had never experienced the feelings coursing though him before and wasn't quite sure if this was normal.
"By Valor, no. Legolas and I have been married far too long to bother with such silly emotions," she began but was quickly interrupted by Aragorn's dry commentary,
"Yes, a whole month is a dreadfully long time."
"You cannot imagine. I spend a fair portion of my day reminding him of the tasks he must accomplish. It is a trial," she stated in such a serious tone that Aragorn took pause for a moment. He then noticed the corners of her lips twitching and he smiled. Celebruthiel returned his look with an impish grin as she playfully knocked her shoulder into Aragorn's side.
"Maybe I should rethink my position. I would hate to become such a burden."
"Oh, it is too late for that, I fear," Celebruthiel said with a laugh. Aragorn pretended to be offended as she lightly swatted at his arm. "In all truthfulness," she began as a tender smile played across her lips, "I was so young when I first felt the connection I have with Legolas that it has become a part of who I am. It just seems to have always been, so I do not know how to answer your question. Severing my ties to him would be like losing a limb." Celebruthiel paused briefly as she looked thoughtfully at Aragorn. How could she possibly explain what she felt to someone not of the Elven race? "But these ties are also a part of who we are as a people. I have them with every member of my family in one respect or another. I think when I was younger, I was impulsive and spent considerable time annoying Legolas by seeking out his thoughts. I think I worried every time he returned to Mirkwood that I would loose his affections. As I grew older, I managed to gain some control, though how much I am sure he would dispute," she stated with a giggle.
"Maybe I should be speaking to him concerning this," Aragorn teased.
"Maybe you should," she replied in sudden seriousness. "You just might get a better perspective from Legolas."
Silence fell over the two, as each became embraced in their own thoughts. An unexpected sadness overtook Celebruthiel's features and Aragorn wondered at the reasoning behind it.
"I sense bad news in your forlorn expression," Aragorn said quietly, studying Celebruthiel for any sign of a reaction.
She sighed heavily then settled her probing gaze on Aragorn. He felt immediate discomfort and longed to turn from his sister. But Aragorn had learned long ago that whatever was behind that gaze would only follow him into the future.
"I do not know if it is good or bad. That is why I am so troubled. What I see is such a kaleidoscope of images before my eyes that I am not certain exactly what I am looking upon. It could be the present or it could be the future. All I know for certain is that the path ahead will be difficult for us all," Celebruthiel said solemnly.
"But you would not be here with me now if there was not something, not when this is the last evening to be spent with your husband," Aragorn said thoughtfully.
Celebruthiel looked at him sharply. Sometimes she thought Aragorn too observant for a mere man. Celebruthiel had on many occasions wondered if Elven blood ran deeper in his veins then she'd been told.
"I see death, Aragorn. It follows you closely." Celebruthiel suddenly gripped his arm tightly. "Do not stray from the path, lest it overtake you."
"What does that mean?" Aragorn demanded, a hard edge to his voice.
"I do not know," she hissed in frustration. "I do not understand what I see and I wonder at the usefulness of it at all. But something compels me to speak of this with you as if you should understand."
"I do not," Aragorn replied frantically.
"I only hope that when the warning should be heeded, you will recognize the moment." Tears welled in her eyes. "I pray this is so," she whispered. "I am so sorry." She stood ready to flee his presence, feeling she'd made an error in judgment, causing nothing but pain for Aragorn.
Aragorn grabbed her arm. "Do not leave me," he pleaded. Celebruthiel watched him silently for a moment before she nodded and resumed her seat. Aragorn placed his arm around her shoulders and rested his cheek on the top of her head. They sat silently, each taking solace in the other's presence. They both knew there were no words that could change the future, for good or bad. Both only prayed that this was enough.
****
After her conversation with Aragorn, she had decided to keep her visions to herself, not to speak of the things she had seen with Legolas. But late that evening, lying in Legolas' arms, Celebruthiel wondered if she was making a terrible mistake. Would it be better to tell him what she did- or in this case- did not know of the future? If there was one who was already corrupted by the Ring, was the Fellowship headed toward certain doom? Would her speaking of such things affect the outcome either way? And would the outcome be for the worse? Or were they better off not knowing? After Aragorn's reaction, Celebruthiel had been inclined to believe they were better not knowing, because if her mother was incorrect, the damage those spoken words would have could be dreadful. The Fellowship could not leave on the morrow distrusting each other. It could cost them their very lives.
She stayed this way until daybreak, going over every last detail in her mind, trying in vain to piece it all together. She felt she'd been running in circles all evening, getting nowhere. And as the faint light streamed through the open doorway, Celebruthiel finally gave up trying to force some unseen vision from her mind's eye. Celebruthiel sighed in frustration and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. She said a silent prayer to Valor that she was making the right choice. She knew she'd never be able to live with herself if none of them returned home because of her.
Legolas finally turned to her, propping himself up on his elbow, and studied her face closely. "Are you going to tell me what has been troubling you this night?" he asked quietly.
Celebruthiel eyes flew open in surprise. She sighed again, wondering why she should feel surprise any longer. Legolas was always very in tune to her emotions. And she had been riding an emotional tidal wave all evening.
"I will miss you," she replied with such profound sadness. "I try to convince my arms that they will not ache from the loss of holding you. That my eyes will not be blinded by tears because they long to look upon your beautiful face. That my heart will survive the not knowing if you are okay." Tears began to well in her eyes and Celebruthiel wondered if it would just be better to flee, to avoid this goodbye.
"Kala, if it is in my power, I will return to you. And if it is not, I want your solemn word that you will leave this place," Legolas said softly as he brushed her hair from her temple and planted a soft kiss there.
"Please do not ask this of me," she whispered tearfully. "It is not a promise I can give you."
"But you must," he stated forcefully, grabbing her by the shoulders roughly and shaking her in desperation. "I want your vow that you will take Arwen and leave with Lord Elrond. I cannot do this is I must worry that my death will leave you vulnerable, Kala. I must know you will be safe, because you and I both know it is likely I will not return."
"Do not say that!" she hissed as she pulled from his arms. Celebruthiel jumped up from the bed and stared down at him in disbelief. "How can I let you go when you say such things?"
Legolas sat up and watched her warily. "I go to war, Kala. You and I both know the likelihood of our defeat is great. But I will do everything in my power to come home to you," he whispered. "Your vow, Kala, please," he begged as he held his arm out to her. With a sob, Celebruthiel returned to his arms and nodded into his shoulder.
As she helped Legolas get dressed for his journey, her hands roamed over him, trying one last time to memorize every inch. Once he was ready and Celebruthiel could think of no other excuse to prolong his departure, she pressed her frame tightly against his one last time. Legolas wrapped his arms around her, inhaling deeply in her hair in the hope of remembering her fragrance in the long nights to come. He finally pulled away from her and held out his hand.
"I do not know if I can do this," she whispered as she backed away from his outstretched hand.
"Kala, you must," Legolas said softly. "If this is your last chance to say goodbye, you will regret not taking it in the days to come. And Pippin would not understand if you did not come."
She knew he was correct, but even so, it did not make the task any easier. Celebruthiel closed her eyes. She took in a deep breath, steeling herself against what must been done. There was one thing an Elf knew well, and that was duty. She reopened her eyes and nodded to Legolas, reaching out to grasp his steady hand in hers.
They walked quietly through the city, acknowledging no one until they reached the pavilion. The remaining members of the Fellowship were packing their belongings in a sluggish fashion, it evident in their movements that none was anxious to continue their journey. But set in the lines of each members face was the solemn resolve of one who was bent on completing an unwelcome task, no matter the cost.
Pippin finally looked up and spotted Celebruthiel standing just at the outer rim of their camp. He immediately called out to her as he jumped up and ran to her. He tightly wrapped his arms around her thighs.
"I did not think you were going to come," he stated.
Celebruthiel looked over the Halflings head and smiled sadly at Legolas before responding. She pried the little hands from her body and dropped to her knees so she could look into his eyes. "Pippin, I would not let you leave this land without saying goodbye. And in my heart, I know this will not be the last time we lay eyes upon each other." Celebruthiel smiled reassuringly as she felt her heart break in two. She only prayed the words she spoke were the truth.
As she pulled him into her arms, she noticed Haldir standing beside Aragorn, waiting quietly. Celebruthiel pulled away from Pippin and looked at him questionably.
"It is time," Haldir stated as he glanced at those around him. He avoided Muriel's gaze, paying particular attention to Aragorn. He did not want to have to acknowledge her grief-stricken eyes. "I have been sent to be your guide once again. Come. Your path now goes south."
When Pippin reached out to take Celebruthiel's hand, she stepped back from him. "Please understand," she said softly as she looked from Pippin to the rest of the Fellowship, " I must say goodbye here."
Aragorn and Gimli nodded in sad understanding. Aragorn quickly approached her, taking her into his arms.
"My brother," she whispered brokenly, "may the grace of Valor follow your footsteps."
Aragorn pulled back from her slightly to look into her eyes. "You take care of yourself," he said softly. "And try to control those impulses."
Celebruthiel laughed and kissed his cheek. "I will try," she replied, feeling a sudden lightness she had not expected. She mouthed her thanks as Aragorn stepped away from her and returned to Haldir's side.
Gimli was the next to step forward. He felt a surprising constriction in his chest at the thought of leaving this Elf behind, whatever the reason behind the action might be. Gimli knew there was much he had not been told concerning Celebruthiel and her reasons for returning to Lorien. They had all been told her safety was at stake. But at that moment, Gimli wished she were continuing on with them. As they embraced, Gimli renewed his promise to her concerning Legolas. Celebruthiel smiled at his assurances and lightly kissed his forehead.
Celebruthiel said a quick farewell to both Sam and Boromir. She knew Sam was still concerned about her and he couldn't prevent from portraying his relief at their separation.
When Merry stepped forward, Celebruthiel motioned to Pippin, also. She placed a hand on each of the Hobbit's shoulders as she bent down to look directly into their faces.
"You most both promise me to be careful," she demanded. "And to look after each other."
The two Halflings nodded, both too overcome to speak. As Merry stepped away from her, Pippin threw himself against her. Celebruthiel hugged him fiercely before Merry grabbed Pippin's arm and pulled him away from her.
As Frodo approached her, Celebruthiel noticed a new understanding lingering in his gaze. She thought back to the conversation she'd had with her mother. She quickly realized Frodo had already decided on the course he would take, one that would separate him from the rest. Celebruthiel was almost relieved at this knowledge- almost. It also gave her pause. She wasn't certain if the Halfling could accomplish the task on his own and she was frightened for him- and for herself.
"Be careful, Frodo Baggins, for the fate of us all rests in your hands," she said softly. "If I could help you with your burden, I would not hesitate."
Frodo nodded, still uncertain exactly how to respond to Celebruthiel. He glanced over his shoulder and noticed the rest of the Fellowship as they began following Haldir from the pavilion. He quickly moved to catch up with them. The only one who remained was Legolas. When they were out of sight, he pulled Celebruthiel roughly into his arms.
"You must go now," she whispered as she clung to him. "It will not get any easier if you prolong it." Celebruthiel kissed him softly, her lips lingering on his, unwilling to break contact. Finally as a sob escaped her lips, she pulled from his embrace and turned her back on him.
"I love you. I always have and I always will," he said softly, his arms reaching out, wanting to enfold her back into their embrace. They dropped to his side, feeling empty and bereft. Then Legolas turned and after glancing over his shoulder one last time, he left Celebruthiel once again. Only this time, Legolas hoped she would remain where she was, safe.
After the Fellowship had eaten a small meal with Celeborn and Galadriel, and were back in the boats, rowing away from Lothlorien, Legolas spotted Celebruthiel standing solemnly at the shore. She made no movement of acknowledgment, just stood there silently, tears coursing down her cheeks. Legolas looked away from her. He had to or he would have jumped from the boat and returned to her side. That was the last glimpse Celebruthiel had of Legolas and the Fellowship.
