Chapter 7

            Alicia felt butterflies in her stomach as she climbed up the stairs to the second floor.  Oh, get a grip, Alicia, she thought, it's not like this is your first date with the man.  She reached the door and put her hand out to ring the bell.  But this night could make or break your future with him.  She rolled her eyes, sighed and rang the bell.

            The door opened after a quick moment and Bobby Goren filled the doorway.  Lord, he was magnificent.  She smiled at him.  "Hey, Bobby," she said softly.

            Bobby felt a rush of desire swamp his body as he looked at the gorgeous woman standing in the hallway.  She was wearing her hair down, just as he liked it.  When he last saw her in D.C., she'd been wearing it in a very short bob.  It had looked good on her, but the longer hair suited her much better.  "Hi, Ali, come on in."  As she walked past him, he reached down and took her bag.  "I'll put this away for you," he said.

            She turned to look at him.  "You may want to open it up and get out the bottle of wine.  And no peeking, Robert.  I've got a couple of surprises in there for you."

            He grinned at her.  "I like surprises."

            She gave him a sexy smile.  "I know you do."  She turned to the coat rack and shrugged off her coat.  As she hung it up, she said, over her shoulder, "I remember you had a fondness for...black lace, wasn't it?"

            Bobby, who had started off towards his bedroom, stopped dead in his tracks.  He turned to look at her, surprise etched on his face.

            "But don't look for it in there," she said as she walked over to the kitchen.  "You won't find it."  She turned to look at him.  "So when's dinner?"

            Bobby gave her a slow smile.  "You're a real tease, you know that, Alicia?"

            She smiled in return, blew him a kiss and disappeared into the kitchen.

            A couple of minutes later, Bobby entered the kitchen and found Alicia rummaging through his cupboards.  "Honey, what in particular are you looking for?"

            "Wine glasses.  You must have at least two floating around here."

            "In the cupboard above the fridge."

            "Ah."  She walked over to the refrigerator and began to reach up to the cabinet when she felt Bobby's big body come up behind her and crowd her against the fridge.  "Please, allow me," he said into her ear.

            "Touche, Bobby," she laughed as she struggled to get past him.  She finally popped out of the tight squeeze and stepped over to the stove.  "God, sweetie, this smells amazing.  I've been salivating ever since you told me what you were making."

            "Hey, can I help it if I know what makes you happy?"

            "You always did, Bobby."  She bent slightly, opened the oven door and took a peek.  The chicken looked and smelled heavenly.  "You are an absolute god in the kitchen.  I can't tell you how much I've missed your cooking."

            As she straightened, she heard the pop of the wine cork.  She stepped over to the counter where Bobby was pouring the wine and leaned her hip against it.  He handed her a glass then picked up his own.  They clinked glasses and drank.

            Alicia put her glass on the counter and took Bobby's glass out of his hand and put it next to hers.  She stepped closer to him and slid her hands up his chest and around his neck.  Bobby wound his long arms around her waist.  "I could use a little appetizer," she whispered as she pulled his head down towards hers.  Their lips met.  She opened her mouth under his and he immediately filled it with his tongue.  She responded by pressing her body closer to his.  They kissed, tongues dueling furiously, for several long, steamy minutes.  Finally, she ran her hands down the length of his back and settled them around his waist.  She slowly broke the kiss then snuggled her head against his chest.  He rested his chin on the top of her head.  For several long minutes, neither spoke.  They were both thrilled to find that nothing had really changed between them.  Their desire for one another was still as strong as it had ever been.

            "Bobby, I think we should talk about...stuff, before we take this to the next step."  She pulled back slightly in his arms and looked up at him.

            "Alicia, I told you three years ago that if you wanted to come home, the door was open."

            "I know, Bobby," she said as she pulled away completely.  "But I have things I need to say to you, and there are things I need to hear from you before I can ask..." Alicia paused and looked at Bobby.  There were tears in her eyes.

            "Honey, listen..."

            She held up a hand to silence him.  "Bobby, please, just hear me out."  She reached out a hand to him.  "Can we go talk in the living room?"

            He took her hand and pulled her towards him.  "Dinner's almost done, sweetheart.  Let me serve us and we can talk while we eat, okay?"

            She hesitated, then nodded.  She realized that she was really hungry.  She planned to spend the night anyway, so putting off their conversation for a little while wouldn't hurt.  "Do you want me to set the table?"

            "Already done.  Just go sit down and relax.  I'll be out in a minute."  He gave her a quick kiss, turned her around and gently pushed her out the door.

            Alicia walked over to the table.  She hadn't even noticed it before.  It was beautifully set.  She recognized the china.  It had been a wedding present from her brother and sister-in-law.  Alicia had left it with Bobby when she left for D.C.  She was happy to see that he'd taken very good care of it.  But then, that was Bobby.  He was careful with everything.

            She sat down and picked up the red rose he had laid across her plate.  There was a letter underneath it.  She gave a quick glance to the kitchen door then unfolded the letter, smiling at Bobby's messy but legible handwriting.

            Alicia,

            Twelve years ago, I met my destiny.  I didn't think it would ever happen.  Hell,

            I'm pretty sure that back then, I didn't even believe in that sort of thing

            happening.  But it did.  I met you.  My life hasn't been the same since.

            I know that I internalize things to the degree that some people think I'm a little,

            well, eccentric.  I know your father did when he first met me.  But you saw past

            that.  You thought I had potential.  The potential to be outgoing and funny.  The

            potential to be, in your words, an excellent cop.  The potential to be a good

            boyfriend, a good lover, and a good husband.  You made me believe all the wonderful              

things you saw in me, and I tried to live up to those potentials.  I couldn't have

            done it without you.

            The five and a half years that we were married were the best years of my life.

            To wake up every morning with you beside me made me the happiest man alive.

            To be welcomed into your family like a long-lost son was an incredible experience

            as well.  And they still welcome me, even after everything that's happened.  You

            cannot imagine what that means to me.

            Alicia, what I'm trying to say is that I want us to start over.  We can't forget

            the past, especially not while we're working on this particular case, but we

            can get beyond it.  You must know that you are the only woman I can be totally

            free with.  With anyone else, friend or co-worker, I go back to living inside

            my head.  But with you, I can be the man you saw and believed in all those years

            ago.  I can open up and not fear it.  I was able to open up to Alex yesterday.

            You should have seen the look on her face.  For a minute, I thought she was going

            to start looking around to make sure she was sitting in the right room with the

            right person.  But she likes that part of me.  I think that's why she was smiling

            today when I was talking with you both.  And I like that she likes it.  Let's

            face it, Alicia, I love what you do for me and what you do to me.  You make me

            human, and I find that I can no longer live without that feeling, or without

            you.

            What you went through six years ago was a horror.  No one should have to live

            through such a terrible ordeal.  But you did.  And it stands to reason that you

            lost part of yourself in surviving it.  I tried to understand what you were

            going through during that time.  I thought I did, but I was wrong.  That was

            arrogant of me, but you know that I'm given to being arrogant...a lot, actually.

            But I did try to be there for you, however, for reasons I don't claim to understand,

            you felt it best to just pull away.  I tried to pull you back, for both our sakes,

            but you wouldn't let me.  Next thing I knew, you were gone.  So was everything

            I knew and loved.

            I know that you think I was angry with you.  Alicia, I never was.  I was, however,

            really badly hurt.  I've never known pain like that before.  I hope never to

            know it again.  But I've had a really long time to think about it, and while

            there are some things I won't ever really comprehend about that time, I do

            understand.  I understand, I've gotten over it and I'm not angry.  And if you

            need me to say that I forgive you, then, yes, I forgive you.  I just want you to

            be able to forgive me my arrogance.

            I never thought myself a romantic man until I met you.  I wanted to give you

            anything and everything you wished for.  I still do.  That romantic man went into

            hiding the day you left.  But now you're back, and he's crying to get out.  Let

            him out, Alicia, as only you can.  Come back to me, and I will do everything in

            my power to make you happy, to keep you safe, and to always let you know that you

            are loved.

            Because I do love you, as much now as I did twelve years ago.  I want and need you,

            as much now as I did twelve years ago.  Even more so, if that's possible.  And, please

            forgive my arrogance, I know that you still love, want and need me.  I can see it

            in your eyes, I can feel it in your touch.  You were, and are, my destiny.  You

            must know that.  You also must know that I am yours.  How else would it be possible

            for two people who have been apart for five years to still love each other as we do?      

It's destiny, Alicia, and it's time we stopped fighting it.  Please come back to me,                       

Alicia.  The door is open.  I just need you to step through it.  Please.

            I love you,

            Bobby

            Alicia folded the letter and set it aside.  She held the rose up to her nose and inhaled its delicate fragrance.  Then she burst into tears.

            Bobby walked into the room and found Alicia sobbing uncontrollably.  He set the plates he carried down on the table and knelt beside Alicia.  He gathered her into his arms and held her tightly as she cried.

            Alicia couldn't believe the letter.  It was as though Bobby had read her mind and put down on paper all the things she'd wanted to say to him.  He understood, he truly understood, but, most importantly, he wasn't angry, and he forgave.  How could she have ever doubted him?  This man, this magnificent, handsome, intelligent, loving man, knew her better than anyone on this earth.  And he loved her.  He wanted her back.  She didn't deserve to be so lucky, but she certainly wasn't going to fight it.  All she ever wanted on earth was kneeling right here beside her, smoothing her hair, whispering soothing words to calm her down.  He was her destiny and she, his.  Like the man himself said, why fight it?

            She shuddered and tried to get herself under control.  She pulled away from him just enough to wipe her face with the napkin he pressed into her hand.  She looked at him then, and gave him a watery smile.

            Bobby cleared his throat.  "I see you read my letter."

            She nodded.  "Hell of a letter, Robert Goren.  Do you live inside my head?  Can you see and hear what I'm thinking?  Everything I wanted to say to you was in that letter."  She wiped her face again and Bobby smoothed her hair back from her forehead.

            "Whatever you decide, Alicia, that's what I'll abide by."

            "I wanted you to forgive me."

            "I do.  And I wanted you to forgive me."

            "Oh, Bobby, there's nothing to forgive.  You were there for me; I just didn't take advantage of that."  She paused and took a deep, calming breath.  She framed his face with her hands.  "I love you, Bobby.  I never stopped loving you.  I just wanted to make sure that I was coming back with a clear mind; that my head and my heart were in the right place.  I never want to hurt you like that again.  Bobby, I want to come home.  Can I come home?"

            Alicia watched as Bobby's dark eyes became bright with unshed tears.  She felt his arms tighten around her and saw his face come closer and closer to hers.  As she closed her eyes to receive his kiss, she heard the three words that meant the beginning of a new life for her with her beloved Bobby.

            "Welcome home, Alicia."