Really Bad Eggs
By Anne Parkington
A.N: special thanks to Amanda, who rocks!
Chapter 3 (Who you gonna call?)
Yes, welcome back to another exciting chapter of the classic tale, Really Bad Eggs. . . I know you've all anxiously awaited the next installment, and here it is!!
.:BOOMING ANNOUNCER'S VOICE:.
Last time on, Really Bad Eggs:
"DUCK!!" Jack screamed, pulling Elizabeth down with him.
-.-.-.-
Such a handsome man! I've been looking up on your records. You dog!" God said winking
-.-.-.-
"My name is Marty, and I ate a bad hamburger . . . and I've been here for 3 years." He declared.
-.-.-.-
"Good! Let's go to Vegas! It'll be fun, we'll drink, we'll gamble, it'll be great!"
-.-.-.-
Uh oh! So now, Jack has left Elizabeth all by herself in Heaven to go to Vegas with Marty, what insane antics will occur in this chapter of Really Bad Eggs?!
-.-.-.-
[Small commercial break]
Will looked out the port hole of the Interceptor and ran a hand through his sea strewn hair. He didn't know how they did it, but the Commodore had managed to 'accidentally' maroon, Elizabeth and Jack on the island Barbossa had stranded them on before.
"Will! There it is!" Mr. Gibbs, called from above decks. Will dashed up and ran to the side, looking out upon the small key where his beloved Elizabeth was waiting for him.
"Norington, get the long boat ready, we depart immediately." Will snapped over his shoulder.
"That's Commodore Norington, to you, boy. And I believe it is, I who orders this crew around, not you." Norrington spat, but hailed for the long boat to be dropped anyway. Will, Mr. Gibbs, Norrington, and, Governor Swann got in the boat and rowed to shore.
When they got there, however, they were met with a ghastly surprise.
"Elizabeth?" Will asked, softly, holding her now limp cold body in his arms. He brushed her hair out of her face with his 'rough blacksmith hands' and stared at her beautiful face. Governor Swann, knelt besides Will, and took Elizabeth in his arms, tears falling silently down both their faces. Mr. Gibbs was kneeling besides Jack's fallen body, and muttering something under his breath. Will took off his hat and stared out into the horizon.
"This is Sparrow's doing." Norrington muttered under his breath. Will glared, but his brow softened almost instantly. He did have a point. Jack had promised to keep her safe. . . and now, she lay dead in her father's arms. Nobody deserved that fate. Secretly he thought to himself that he'd wreak vengeance on Captain Jack Sparrow if it was the last thing he did. But how? He was dead. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. . . GOLD bricks that is. (a/n: get it? Treasure? ::crickets:: OH, work with me people!) He knew just what to do.
-.-.-.Vegas-.-.-.-
Jack took the bottle of beer off the bar with a shaky, drunken hand and drained the last of it. It had been his 20th and he didn't have any intention of stopping until he was completely shnockered. He wasn't the only one however, Marty was catching up to him, with his 18th Guinness in hand.
"Thisss.. . . " he slurred, pointing at Marty, "Makessss mee soooooo . . . "he paused, with a concentrated look on his face, "loud, shroud, toud, wowed, cowed, p. . . p. . oh yes! Proud! Sooooo proud, seeing you drink yer firssss" He started laughing hysterically without finishing his sentence. Marty started laughing too, as if he had just told the wittiest joke ever. They both fell to the floor, bringing their drinks down with them, their face red as radishes. Suddenly a man burst into the bar, with his arm around a very pretty woman.
"I JUST HIT THE JACK POT!!!" He screamed, Jack looked up.
The Jack Pot? he thought.
"AND WE GOT MARRIED!!" The woman cried. The bar cheered and stomped, and some ordered the newly-weds some drinks.
"Wedding!" Jack said, his eyes widening. "I love weddings!!!" He said breathlessly, grasping Marty's shirt. "DRINKS ALL AROUND!!!" He cried, but no one seemed to hear him.
"Weddings are kinda nice. . .aren't they?" Marty said whistfully
"Yeah. . . kinda wish I cu'dda had one before I DIED. . . but. . . I'm a pirate. . . whores are my specialty. Now. . my friend Will, he's. . . –hic- he's getting married to this lovely little woman, named. . . ohhh shite. . . she'd dead too. Hahahahahahaha!" Jack dissolved into laughter again.
Marty joined in too, but stopped him suddenly.
"You can STILL get married! Yeahhh. . . letsss, -hic- letsss get ma'ied!" Marty spluttered, laughing through his beer.
Jack stared at him for a moment, but then put his hand to his heart.
"You mean that, Marty? Marry me?! Let's goooo!" He stood up and swayed on the spot, then started to walk.
"Wai!! Waii' for MEEEEEE!" Marty cackled, pulling on his pant leg.
"Ooop! Sorry, chap." He said, grinning goofily, and helping him up. They leaned on each other, each holding a bottle of beer in one hand and chanted down the street on the way to the nearest chapel, tongues hanging out:
"We'eh ge'in ma'ied! We'eh ge'in ma'ieh!*"
-.-.-.-The Interceptor-.-.-.-
"Are you SURE they can help?" Norrington asked Will, as four girlls in khaki jump suits stepped off a long boat onto the ship.
"Uh. . . well, they're ghost busters." Will said, a little unsurely.
"Uh, correction, we are ghost kaput-ers."
"Ghost Kaput-ers?" Norrington raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. . I'm Kate , these are my partners, Melissa, Amanda, and Lizz."
She pointed to a tall blond girl, a very tall brunette and a short girl who had a red bandana covering her hair.
"I'm sorry, there must be some mistake. I asked for ghost busters! You are just a bunch of freshman!" Norrington cried.
"Sophomores, excuse you!" Lizz piped, prodding his stomach with her ghost kaput-er cream nozzle thing. (a/n: ::shifty eyes:: )
"Still! You're just children!" Will said, siding with Norrington for once.
"No way! I'm 15 and a half! And they're all 15 too! And besides, who cares how old we are! We're faster than those fat old guys back in New York! So. .. what ghost do you want to Kaput?" Kate cried above the rest as they all screamed in outrage.
"Well, his name is Jack Sparrow. . and-" Will started, but was cut off by shrieks from the girls.
"Jack sparrow's. . . d-dead?!" Melissa asked, her eyes filling with tears.
"Uh, yes, it's very-"
"Very sad!!" Amanda cried, as they burst into fits of tears.
"What's wrong!? Did you know him?!" Mr. Gibbs asked, looking at the girls with concern.
"N-n-no." Sniffed Lizz, "But he was sooo sexy!" and they all evaporated into tears again.
Will quirked an eyebrow at Norrington, who gave a loud upheaving sigh. This was going to take a long time.
And so comes the end of chapter 3
*We're getting married!
Coming up next on Really Bad Eggs:
A daring rescue
A reincarnation (or two, or three)
and a good being told to
Review Replies
Twilight-Zone: This chapter wasn't updated as soon as I was hoping, but I was very blocked for a few days, and then I went and saw it for the THIRD time, and then I wasn't writered blocked anymore! Johnny Depp has that effect on people!
CryingChild: Fwahaha?! Oh. My. God! I love that laugh! I think I'm going to use it from now on!! HEEEE!!!
MrsPitt: We've gone over how I feel about you (frickin' brilliant!) but this means so much to me that you're reading this!!! Thanks for the review!!
Dragonmistress and Celticgirl: No, its not slashy-ness! I pwomis! They's just drunk! It doesn't COUNT if they're drunk! You'll see, it's all to be revealed soon. . . :Gasp!: Jack Sparrow. . . all revealed!! OHHHHHHHHHH! :gets to typing:
Nicole297: Noooo, don't die!!!! You have to read the rest and decide if you want to die then!!!
Gloria Bryant: Yeah, I definitely got that idea from Peace Now! Mmmmm JHSS, :snaps out of it: I mean. . . uhh. . . never mind.
Keep those reviews comin'!
-A.P-
