Really Bad Eggs
By Anne Parkington
Chapter 4: [Hold up. . you're a dude]
Yay!! Chapter four of Really Bad Eggs! I'm so excited, I can barely contain myself!! :squeal:
:Big Booming Announcer Voice:
Last time, on Really Bad Eggs:
-.-.-.-
"Elizabeth?" Will asked, softly, holding her now limp cold body in his arms.
-.-.-.-
The Jack Pot? he thought.
-.-.-.-
We'eh ge'in ma'ied! We'eh ge'in ma'ieh!*"
-.-.-.-
"I'm sorry, there must be some mistake. I asked for ghost busters! You are just a bunch of freshman!" Norrington cried.
"Sophomores, excuse you!" Lizz piped
-.-.-.-
Woot! Knee slappin' good times! Now onward!!
[Small commercial break]
It took about
5 minutes for the girls to get themselves back together. Finally Lizz stood up and wiped the tears from her eyes.
"We refuse to kaput him!" She said, menacingly.
"But he must pay!" Will said desperately. "He killed Elizabeth!"
"Oh, I doubt that. Jack is too nice. We'll go find him and ask him whats going on, okay? Come on, get in our space ship!"
Audience: Wait wait wait wait!!! Space
ship? Anne you're a putz! They didn't have
space ships back then!
Yeah, well they didn't have Vegas, tv
or anything else I mentioned either did they? And now they do.
. . it's a mixture between now and then. .
. like the candy!
Audience: That's now and later.
Oh. . right. Whatever.
-Will looked
fearfully at the contraption sitting on the boat.
"What's a space ship?" He asked. Norrington stared in
disbelief. He made the same kind of face that he had made when he found out
that Elizabeth
loved Will more than him.
"This is a space ship! And it will take us to heaven . . . although; you and I
can go to heaven right now in your bunk if you want." Amanda said, sideling up
to Will and winking. He blushed a little and looked at
Norrington who was covering a giggle with his hand.
"Uhh, later, Amanda. We have
to get to Jack first." Melissa said, looking apologetically at Will and
dragging him into the space ship with the rest of them.
"Good bye!!" Lizz said waving ecstatically. The Space
ship blasted off, and everyone on the boat watched in awe, and some threw
confetti.
"Weigh anchor!" Shouted Norrington, but was cut off
by a big cloud of confetti that flew into his throat. He choked and sputtered
on it, while the guilty tosser laughed and took a sip
from his flask.
---In heaven---
The space
ship was extremely fast, because I didn't have any ideas on what they did
during their journey, so they arrived in Heaven almost instantly. The doors
slid open and they all ran out and through the golden gates. Elizabeth spotted them
immediately.
"WILL!!" She called. Will turned and greeted her with a warm embrace.
"I was so worried about you!" Will whispered.
"Oh Will!" Elizabeth said softly, her eyes
welling with tears, "you're dead too?!" she sobbed.
"No. . . I've come to kill Jack.
. . well to Kaput his ghost."
"Oooooh
Jack!" Elizabeth said angrily. "It's HIS fault I'm dead. I mean, if he
hadn't told me those eggs were okay. I mean. . He died too. I suppose he didn't
know either . . . since he ate one before I did. . . "
"Wait, he ate one before you did?" Will asked.
"Why, yes! He ate one. And I waited a little. And then I ate one, not knowing
that he had died."
"So it wasn't Jack's fault after all!" Kate cheered.
"Hooray!!" The girls cried.
"Who are they? The Jack Sparrow fan club?" Elizabeth asked, eyeing the girls with
apprehension.
"Kind of. So where is Jack now?" Will asked.
"Vegas." Elizabeth grumbled. He left me behind."
"VEGAS?!" The kaput-ers
cried. They exchanged worried glances and ran back to the space ship. Will and
Elizabeth followed quickly and the doors snapped closed and they were off to
Vegas. Woot! Road trip!
They flew over Vegas, the girls' eyes scanning everywhere for any sign of the
sexy pirate (a/n: sorry a little bias there. . . mmmmm jack sparrow!!) while Elizabeth and Will stared in
amazement at all the pretty lights and what not. Suddenly Kate pointed out the window;
"LOOK! That's HIM!" Everyone ran to the window, which caused the space ship to
tip over with a loud metallic groan. The doors sprung open, and they all
spilled out, falling falling falling. . . but fortunately
they weren't very high up, and landed in a dumpster, that was full of
cardboard, which isn't too comfy, but its better than pavement.
"Oh that sucks." Melissa groaned, pulling herself out of the dumpster. She
helped Elizabeth and Will out, while Kate turned around the corner,
looking for Jack again.
"Damnit! We lost him!" she groaned.
"Told you we make sucky secret
agents." Melissa mumbled. Kate rolled her eyes as she looked around.
"Wait. . .no I see them. No!" She turned to the
others. "He's going into a wedding chapel! We must stop him!"
"Stop him? He's getting married! Good for him." Will cheered.
"He wasn't with a woman." Kate said.
Will's face fell. "He's drunk." The Ghost Kaput-ers
nodded at eachother and took off at full speed down
the sidewalk, dodging people and boxes. They burst through the door and barged
into the chapel before the ceremony had even begun.
"JACK!!" They cried. He frowned at them
"Who are you?!" He murmured. Melissa started to explain, but just then Will
burst in, panting loudly.
"WILL TURNER!!" Jack grinned, spilling his drink down his front. "JUST the man
I wanted to be here!"
"No! Jack, this is a mistake! You. . .you can't get married to this guy!"
"And WHY not?" Marty spluttered drunkenly.
"Cuz.
. . cuz he cant." Will finished
lamely.
Jack looked from Will to the girls and laughed. Suddenly Elizabeth burst through the door panting as
well. Jack beamed brightly.
"ELIZABETH! Luv, I'm
right glad you're here I am! Everyone's here! It's a real shindig now, eh?"
Jack exclaimed, linking arms with Marty and swinging him around, singing what sounded
like a drunken version of 'A pirates life for me.'
"Jack, PLEASE DON'T MARRY THIS BOY!!" Elizabeth cried, flinging herself at his
feet. Jack looked down confusedly.
"And why not?!" Jack hiccupped, and held himself up
proudly. "Always wanted a wedding, and now I get one! Do you hear this madness,
Marty? Trying to stop our wedding!"
"Madness" Muttered Marty, shaking his head.
"Now, if you're not going to be good friends, and support me, you may leave."
Jack sneered.
"Jack, please be reasonable!" Will persisted.
"NO!" Jack growled, and he and Marty marched up to the minister.
"Hold up!" Marty said, suddenly his speech was better, "You're a dude. I can't
marry you." He said. Jack gaped at him, but the shook his head.
"Shiver me timbers!" ( a/n: don't laugh. . . it's
pirate lingo. . . :shifty eyes: ) "I wouldn't marry you.
. . woman, need a woman." He muttered frantically. He suddenly noticed the
ghost kaput-ers and ran towards them.
"Jack!" Will snapped suddenly. Jack cocked an ear his
way.
"Aye?" He asked.
"You're dead." Will stated. Jack looked confused for a moment, but it suddenly
dawned on him, that. . . well, ghosts cant really do
anything to living people. (a/n: the reason why Elizabeth and Will were able to
hug in heaven, was because in Heaven she was an angel, on earth she's a ghost. . . that's the way stuff works. Teeeheee)
"Bloody 'ell!" He cried in frustration. The girls giggled mindlessly. He
looked at them oddly, making them shut up and blush.
"Who are you?" He asked.
"We were sent to. . . Kaput you."
"Sounds good, luv, lets get started." Jack
said, running his tongue over his teeth and rubbing his hands together. Will rolled
his eyes. Lizz burst into a fit of giggles,
"NO!!! It's. . . *giggle giggle*
it's not like that *giggle giggle* we were sent to destroy you." Lizz
said, looking incredibly sorry. Jack's face fell.
"ME?! But, but I'm Capt. Jack Sparrow! And. . . "He
trailed, he looked ahead and moved his hand in front of his eyes, "And why aren't
I drunk anymore!?!"
"Because Angels don't stay drunk for very long." Said a voice in the door way. They
all looked to see Mary-Weather standing there looking amused.
"I have good news. . . I talked to God, and he said,
if you want, you two can go and be alive again." She said to Elizabeth and
Jack.
"Really?" Elizabeth cried, smiling broadly.
"Yep! He's a big fan of pirates, and can't wait for the sequel." She said
winking. Jack, Will and Elizabeth looked at each other smirking. Marty looked
over at the group with sad eyes.
"And you too, Marty." Mary-Weather said.
"Woot!" He cried, running
over to them
Mary-weather smiled, and waved her hand over them. They all became living again
(a/n: YAYYY!) Elizabeth turned and looked into Wills
eyes. He scooped her closer in his arms, and he kissed her passionately. Jack
rolled his eyes and turned to the girls.
"See, this a PERFECT ending. Except for one thing." He
took a step closer to them.
"Yes?" They said breathlessly.
"We GOTTA get rid of the Mary-Sues." He said, shaking his head. The girls
looked at him fearfully, as he took out his sword, and with a quick slash, that
was the end of them :-)
-The End-
Review Replies:
The Second Geek: Sorry I didn't put you in, I was about to, but then, I dunno, too many o/c's! Just craziness! Sorry :-( Thanks for reading though!
MrsPitt: oh thank you thank you thank you!! Such kind words! :beams:
Lady Sparrow: Heeehee, thanks!
Rava: Thank you so much! Heeehee, wench. Uhh. . . I don't live in R.I at all. . . lol. Actually I live in CT. You're not the first person who's thought I've lived in Rhode Island. Is there something somewhere that says I do? O.o Hmm. . . how odd, could you answer this in a review please? Or e-mail me? I'm so confuzzled!!
Sky is Blue: Ohhh thank you!!
Stay tuned next time for Still Really Bad Eggs: The Sequel
No, that's not necessary. There will be no sequel.
Just kidding.
Or maybe. . .
Or am i? Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnn!!!
