Disclaimer: Well, let's think about this. If I really owned YGO, I wouldn't be spending my time writing funny stories about the characters I owned.

Well, say hello to Yami's Secret. Well, hope you like it! *NOTICE* You might want to read Bakura's Secret, because I'm going to say stuff that would spoil it, and you are not going to understand some things. It won't affect the outcome of the story, though. *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Bakura was determined to find out what was in that safe. He had discovered a safe under a table, with three locks on it that belonged to Yami, in Jou's house. There was also a very threatening letter on it, damning anyone who dared to go within a few feet of it. He was burning with curiosity over it, and he didn't feel that good, having drank about half Yugi's body weight in hard liquor in a drinking contest. The hangover, he was used to. He would go out every Friday night to a bar, get incredibly drunk, and seriously think about doing guys who had mistaked him for a girl. He usually just dislocated their arm, and made sure they knew he was not a girl. He just needed to wait for the pounding and dizziness to stop, and he would think of a plan. After arriving back at his own house with Ryou, he went to crash. He dragged his weight up the stairs, and entered his room, which still faintly smelled of carrots. {1}He fell on the bed, and planted his face in the pillow to stifle the wrenching in his stomach, which was trying to expel the evil liquid he downed earlier. Then he decided to go get a waste paper basket for next to his bed, and check up on Ryou. He glanced at the clock, and saw it was 9:30 in the morning. Damn. He had missed Barney. He left the room, and went quietly into Ryou's room. He was sleeping soundly, but jerked, as he sometimes did when his dreams involved either blood and gore, or cheese puffs. Bakura chuckled to himself, as he left to go to the bathroom. In the bathroom, he went, then grabbed the bin in there, and went back into his room. It was three in the afternoon, when he woke up, and when he did, he was suddenly so pissed, he hurled chunks into the bin next to his bed. He was dreaming. Dreaming about leather. Something suddenly possessed him to go out and buy the leather outfit he had been wearing in the dream, as he looked badass sexy in it. He went to see if Ryou had woken up. He had, and was currently taking a shower. Bakura just went into the bathroom to get his brush. Ryou didn't notice. Bakura combed through his hair, and when he was done, the brush was filled with white hair. He shrugged, and left the comb where he found it. He needed to change, there was dried ketchup, and dried chunks all over his shirt, and some blood. He didn't know where it was from, but he didn't care. He put on a leather jacket, the one he had stolen from Ryou earlier, and left the house. This time, though, he would travel on foot. He wanted to talk with the Mouse {2} before going to his favorite leather shop. After speaking to him, (Bakura told me to make the conversation private) he left for the leather place. Once there, he asked for a leather outfit that matched the description in his dream. The man said that he didn't have one, but the leather store at the mall did. Because of the mental state Bakura was in, the storekeeper had a bloody nose, and a dislocated shoulder. "Damn, these stupid people, thinking they could just order me around to different places like that." Bakura was thinking to himself again, as he had no one else to talk to him but Ryou. He went, though, to the leather shop, and purchased the suit. He beat up the guy trying to help him with it, after seeing the price tag. $1500 dollars. Big money. Of course, the unconscious guy's wallet helped him substantially. The leather suit was all black, and a two-piece. On the top was a regular shirt, that was complimented with a sleeveless vest, and bracelets about six inches long, extending halfway up his forearms, with silver buttons around the part closest to the wrist, pants that were loose at the bottom, but stuck to his skin before the knee. To top it off, there were a pair of boots he bought with it, that were slightly high heeled, but looked a little too muck like Yami's for his tastes. Now, he knew, they wouldn't think he was a girl at the bar, but a sexy girl. He dressed in it, and put his other clothes in the bag, and started to leave. He thought he saw Yami in another store, and he was going to show off the new outfit, before some punk ran into him. Bad decision. He picked up the guy, who looked about 20, by his shirt, and looked into his eyes, glaring at him like he had done so many times to Ryou. He thought Ryou was the only one immune to it's piercing stare. He saw straight through the guy. That dude was terrified, and crumbled under the weight of Bakura's "evil eye" "I sincerely hope you ran into me for a reason. If you were just being plain stupid, I'm afraid I'm going to have to teach you a lesson." Bakura raised the fist that wasn't holding the guy up, but it was caught from behind. He spun around, letting go of the dude, who seized his opportunity to run away as fast as he could, leaving his bags at Bakura's feet. He saw Yami, standing there, holding onto his wrist. Yami was also staring daggers at Bakura, but he was nothing compared to him. Bakura shook out of his grip when he noticed Yami was holding onto the band around his wrist. Bakura posed. "What'd you think? Who's the king of leather now, Mr. Badass leather freak?" Yami looked at the outfit, seeing surprisingly, it looked good on him. A little too good. Yami didn't want to hang around; he had important things to do. He nodded curtly, and walked off the other direction. Bakura was about to head the way he was going all along, when he saw the name on the bags Yami was carrying. "Victoria's Secret" was inscribed on them, in golden letters.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* {1}Recently, there were creamed carrots all over his white carpet. Read Bakura's Secret. {2}Malik wants to be called Mouse. I don't even know why. I know this chapter was long and tedious, and not really funny, but we'll get to that. I promise. What's up with Bakura's bad streak? Why is Yami carrying lingerie? All will be answered soon. PLX R&R and tell me how I'm doing!