Cool. And also, Check out Ch. 19 on Irony Becomes Her, by me, if you haven't.
~Star Mouse
Spike tossed the duffel bag up onto the library counter, where it clanked. He stalked into the cage room. Flung open the cabinet. Started grabbing stakes and axes and crossbows. Swore intensely under his breath. Grabbed more weapons.
After a few minutes, Jenny Calendar ventured out of her office to investigate the noise. She stood in the doorway, sipping her coffee, and watched the duffel bag fill.
Yes, violence is a good thing, but... She bit her lip.
"Spike?"
The leather~clad blonde yanked the stubborn zipper shut. "Eh?"
The Watcher surveyed the half~empty weapons closet.
"Big plans for patrol?" she hazarded.
"Gotta ask a lady to dinner," he replied.
Spike kicked the door open and stalked off, bulging bag swung over his shoulder.
...
"This is why you don't date!" she called after him.
There was only way to avoid hunting with her darling family, and that was to hunt alone.
Feeling quite the lone wolf, all over again, Buffy wandered through the cemetary. Not that there were usually many people there at night. Except for the occasional Wicca group gone wrong, or muggers.
Those were always fun.
But at the moment, hunting was just an excuse. To check up on her other project.
She was halfway to the site when--
"Elizabeth!"
She cringed, and turned in the direction of the British voice.
"Yes s--oh. You." She managed to exude a good bit of disinterest as the Slayer stepped out of the shadows.
"Me," he confirmed, blandly. "Were you serious?"
Buffy raised an eyebrow. "Regarding...?"
"You won't hurt them?"
...
She sighed.
"I promised," she said simply. "And I keep my word."
The teenager nodded. "Okay. That's good, 'cause you see, I think you need my help."
Don't blink. Don't swallow. Don't breathe, it's not like you need to. Act casual.
"Really, now. And what makes you think that?"
He shrugged. "Seems you wouldn't really worry about upsetting me if you didn't. Probably would have made a few more attempts on my life when you had the chance."
Buffy weighed her options. With her darling family in town, she'd need all the help she could get.
"I need your help," she confirmed quietly.
"Good. 'Cause I need yours, too."
Buffy's head snapped up. "Hey! What kind of back~scratcher do you think I am?" she asked, briefly slipping into an accent long ago evolved into antiquity.
Spike regarded her cooly, reeking of Slayer power.
"Surely someone your age has learned you can't get anything for nothing."
"Surely you realize I've spent most of my existence figuring out that's complete bullshit," she retorted.
"Buffy..."
"You know, I never said you could call me that, Spike."
The slayer threw his leather~clad arms skyward in frustration. How could a being over 130 years old possibly be so juvenile?
"Dinner at my place, this Thursday. Can you make it?"
...
"What?"
Spike rolled his eyes. "You remember that lovely yarn you spun for me da, don't you? He would enjoy meeting 'Elizabeth' properly."
She laughed out loud, throwing her head back and cackling at the overcast sky.
"Ha! That is too good!" she crowed. "The Slayer's dad wants me for dinner." She straightened and shot Spike a smirk.
"Is it me, or is there something really ironic about that?"
"Yeah yeah, laugh it up, blood~sucker. Are you gonna do it or not?"
Buffy considered saying no, but she really did need his help. To save the world. And it would be a night away from the crypt and the creepy family...
"You'll help me back."
"Count on it. So long as it isn't world~ending or involve the blood of the innocent."
She let a second go silent, then nodded.
Spike returned the gesture.
They stood there, not entirely sure what was supposed to come next, before realizing there should be a lot more bloodshed taking place. As one, they started backing away, before each turned tail and fled the scene.
"...And then, of course, there was all that fuss about entrails, in the late eighteen hundreds. I never really jumped on that particular bandwagon, though. Too messy. Silk does not appreciate that kind of treatment, let me tell you..."
Cordelia desperately tried not to roll her eyes. The vampiress seated cattycorner to her had been discussing disembowelment and torture for a good hour. Oh, crap, she was winding up again.
"Anyanka," she cut in quickly, "I know Xander would just love to hear all this....stuff, and I'd hate for you to have to repeat yourself." She stood hastily, nearly losing balance on her tall heels.
"What say I go get him for you. No, no, you just stay there," she trotted out of earshot, "...you sick loony."
She found Xander sitting in their room, staring at the wall.
"Hey, Cupcake. Enjoying the view, much?"
Xander didn't turn, but he waved her over with a hand. She walked over, putting her hand in his and letting him wrap her arm across his shoulder. She brought her other arm around and hugged his stomach, kissed his neck.
"We're in some deep shit," he remarked, tilting his head to give her better access.
"Don't I know it," Cordelia spoke into his neck.
"If one of the old ones tries to take you, I want you to run."
Cordelia stopped. "Take me? Buffy would kick their bony asses back across the ocean if they tried something like that."
Xander shook his head, still focused on the wall. "No. She's terrified of them. Can't you tell? Their stronger than her. There's no way she could beat them if they turned on us."
The former Slayer unbent, dropping her arms back to her sides.
"But she'll have help, right? We'll help. And, she didn't get Slayer blood, but she was talking like he might be willing to help--"
"He will. He's too curious not to. But it might not be enough. It's not like they don't have a Slayer of their own."
"But we'd have two," Cordelia replied quietly.
Xander's brown eyes blinked shut, then he unfolded himself like a bobcat or some similar such feline, and faced Cordelia.
"Hunt with me?"
Completely abandoning any thoughts to rejoin Anyanka, she nodded.
Spike stalked his way through the cemetary, pissed off and not totally sure why. He wasn't really the most alert he'd ever been, and later that turned out to be a good excuse for why the vamp was able to jump him before he sensed it.
"Ouf!" the thing literally jumped up his back, getting a choke hold around his neck.
He flailed/lurched forward, managing to roll without his eyes bugging out of his head, and catapaulted the small vampire into a headstone.
She jumped up almost immediately, tossed black hair and smirked red lips.
"Ooh. Kung fu guy. That'll be fun. Well guess what?" She dove at his stomach, catching fingertips painfully under a rib. "I know kung fu too."
"Jolly. Good. For you." Spike kneed her stomach and threw her off him, yanking a stake out of his belt. "Hope you passed on all the dark secrets to your padawan, cause now's too late."
The vampire seemed surprised that someone in this backward town had the forethought to carry a stake.
"I'm surprised that someone in this backward town has the forethought to carry a stake," she said.
"Yeah, well, it's hard to live long on the hellmouth without one."
Dawn raised an eyebrow. "Are you a demon~hunter?"
"Sorta."
"Cool. Those are almost as fun to kill as Slayers. Well, I've never actually seen a Slayer, well, not recently, but according to Liz, Slayers are cool to kill, and demon hunters make it interesting, even if they don't have the strength of Slayers, they're still cool, and since Liz said I shouldn't challenge a Slayer until I'm sure I could beat her, or him, I guess a demon~hunter will do. I mean, they've got the fighting skills without the super~strength, so it's probably really good practice, and since I'm not sure I could take a Slayer yet, this is definitely gonna be great. Ready?"
Spike blinked. She sounded like Faith's little sister.
Still watching the vampire standing in ready position, he edged over to a headstone and kicked it.
Dawn watched the dust settle over the three pieces of marble.
"Oh, shit."
She locked eyes with Spike, expressionless and silent, and then started backing away.
"Ya know, I think I'm gonna go now. Have fun slaying stuff, 'kay?"
Then she scampered.
Spike jerked to follow her, but she had too much of a lead already. In the dark he'd never find her again.
But his Spider sense was tingling. He was still holding the stake, and slowly brought it up level with his chest, focusing his inner radars on the source of the 'noise'.
He really didn't need to bother.
"We're right here, Slayer. You don't have to stake us. We're with Buffy."
The peroxide blonde turned slowly. Two brunettes, one male, one female, one tanned, one pale, both quite quite dead.
"What have we here?"
The vampiress spoke again, sauntering forward. "You know what's freakin' annoying? Having a vampire sense when you're a vampire." She brought her hands up to gesture vaguely. "There's this constant buzzing, and finally, you just can't take it anymore and you slam your head against a few coffins." She caught his eye. "And then it stops."
Vampire sense. "You're the Slayer defeated and turned by Elizabeth the Black."
She nodded, wide~eyed, tongue between her molars. "Very good, Slayer. Care to hazard a guess at who this is?" She Vannah White'd at her companion.
Spike glanced at the silent vampire standing next to her in black slacks and a beater.
"The Watcher."
He earned a single nod, like an abreviated bow, his shoulders dipped with his head. "Good call."
Spike gave his own nod, which is really a reverse nod, pulling his head back in acknowledgment before dipping slightly forward and then back to normal.
"Right. Pleasure's yours. Anythin' I can do for you, or are you just out on a sight~seeing trip?"
"As if. There's nothing to see here. We're hunting."
"Ah. Then I'll have to kill you."
"Buffy wouldn't like it," Xander replied.
"We're her favorites," Cordelia sing~song'd.
"We've come to warn you."
"We have?" Cordelia turned to Xander, who waved her off.
"There's some seriously nasty stuff breezed into town, Peroxide. They could beat your ass into dust before you even reach for a stake. We need you later, so try not to get killed, yeah?"
Spike furrowed his brow. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Masters. Three, straight from Europe, and another Junior that could do some serious damage to the unprepared." Xander shrugged. "Prepare."
Spike shook his head. "Why are you telling me this?"
"We'll need your help later. Until then, you have to stay alive. We can't defend you from our own, but we can at least give you the warning you might need to survive." He put a hand on Cordelia's back, gently guiding her off to the left, and nodded acknowledgement. "There's going to be some serious shit going down, Slayer, if you aren't strong enough to stop it."
Spike watched them go, brows knit, fists clenched.
Comments? Complaints? Suggestions? You know what to do.
~Star Mouse
