No more disclaimers, one is sufficient. Besides, if I were Tolkien, I'd be dead. And not posting fanfics.

~ ~ ~

Elrond and Glorfindel strolled through the halls of Imladris, discussing the Ringbearer. It had been only three days since Frodo's narrow shave with the Nazgul.

"Really, Glorfindel, if you hadn't come upon Aragorn and the hobbits, the One Ring would surely be in the hands of Sauron by now," Elrond was saying.

"Thank you, Lord Elrond," Glorfindel replied. "But -" He frowned and hesitated.

"What, Glorfindel?"

The golden-haired elf coughed and continued, "Well, my lord, your daughter...recently I have caught her trying to steal Asfaloth."

Elrond looked slightly amused. "Surely she desires only to take a leisurely ride on your beautiful horse."

"Not quite like that, sir." Glorfindel hesitated again. "Last time I rode out, the lady Arwen attempted to physically prevent me from taking my horse. She was very...insistent." He rolled up his sleeve and exposed a large, nasty-looking bruise near his elbow.

"Well -" replied Elrond, but was cut off by the sounds of someone moving about in the next room. Glorfindel silently drew his bow.

"Lady above," breathed Elrond.

"Did you not tell me that your house no longer uses these halls?" Glorfindel whispered.

"I did. And they do not."

There was a pause. The two elves did not dare even draw breath.

"Best to use caution, Lord Elrond?"

"I think so."

They ran into the room.

~ ~ ~

Laura got up from her position sitting against the wall. The footsteps had suddenly ceased, and she strained her ears. Were those whispering voices?

Well, best to investigate. She walked cautiously across the room -

- and saw a tall, blond elf run into the room with a bow held out, while an older, dark-haired elf followed behind him.

Laura squealed. The tall, absolutely *yummy* blond elf with the bow just *had* to be...

"LEGGY-POO!" she shrieked, jumping across the room. She was about to fling herself at the first elf...when she realized that he was aiming an arrow straight at her throat. And neither elf looked happy to see her.

~ ~ ~

Glorfindel nearly dropped his bow when he saw it was a young maiden in the room. He quickly recovered, aiming at her jugular. The girl shrieked something unintelligible and ran up to them.

There was a deadly silence.

"Lord Elrond?" said Glorfindel carefully.

"Yes, Glorfindel?"

"Why is there a human maiden here in Imladris?"

Elrond Half-Elven sent a vicious glare at the girl, who quailed visibly. "I do not know. I have *certainly* never given her leave to enter Rivendell, much less wander these halls."

The girl, who had retreated to the opposite wall, whimpered something softly.

"*What* was that?" asked Elrond.

Glorfindel turned to his lord, confused. "It sounded like 'Legolas' - like the son of King Thranduil."

Elrond stared first at the girl, then back at Glorfindel. "But she is certainly not an elf...and neither of us resemble the Prince."

Suddenly, a light came into Glorfindel's eyes. He lowered the bow and relaxed his grip. "My lord, I think I understand." He paused. "This maiden has lost her mind, I believe. She must have wandered here somehow, and now she is simply confused and lost."

Elrond looked back at the girl. "Of course! She must be absolutely terrified of us." He laughed and came closer to her. "Child, don't worry, we won't hurt you. What is your name?"

The girl looked back in wide-eyed terror. Obviously she did not understand a word he said.

"Maybe if you switched to Westron," supplied Glorfindel helpfully. "She might not understand our tongue."

"Oh. Yes." Elrond slowly repeated his question, still smiling gently at the girl.

~ ~ ~

Laura backed still closer to the wall. After a few terrified seconds, it became apparent that she would not die right away. The elf who she had thought was Legolas was no longer aiming an arrow to her throat, just looking confusedly at her. In fact, seeing as *he* had been the only one to say the name "Legolas", he must be a different elf.

The dark-haired one, whom she assumed to be Elrond, suddenly laughed. He smiled and bent down towards her, speaking in a soothing tone...and in the other language which they had been speaking all along. She realized that she did not know a word of Elvish, actually.

Except...wait.

Elrond spoke something else after a pause, and then tried a third phrase. He frowned, saying still another thing. The blond elf was gripping his bow a bit tighter, and was no longer relaxed.

Laura realized that if she didn't do something quick, she would probably killed quite soon. Although she couldn't quite remember the translation, she remembered an Elvish phrase someone had mentioned a while ago. It was a stretch to remember it all, but she might as well try it.

Laura cleared her throat and stuttered nervously, "Nan i ang-orncrist tithen caran hu."[1]

~ ~ ~

Glorfindel looked at Elrond, bewildered. "What?"

Elrond sighed and got back up. "You were right...she obviously has lost her mind."

~ ~ ~

[1]: "I am a small red dog with an axe" in Sindarin. The 'u' should have an accent on it, but I'm not sure how to make that work.

Author's note: XD Eru, that was fun to write. I have a pretty good idea of what'll happpen next, but I'm having a hard time writing this on my iMac and transferring it to my PC to upload. Thus the length between posts. To anyone else who does this: do *not* save it as .txt. I had to fix all the apostrophes and quotes. -_-;

Special thanks to Lia (her site is at embark.to/yodelduck) for the Sindarin translation.

Please read and review!

--Lemonly, resident pyromaniac-- --Self-described as "differently sane"--