DISCLAIMER - I STILL don't own anything. Although in this chapter I think a plot may have appeared somewhere which is mine.

YAY - SONO IN ITALIA!!!!! (apologise also for my awful Italian)

I've just re-read book 5 and realised that I'm doing Tonks' speech completely wrong. Sorry to all Tonks' fans, I can't be bothered to change it all now though.

Chapter 5

Tonks flopped into one of Remus' chairs and sighed dramatically. Lupin smiled but didn't look up.

"Ugh." She ran her hand through her hair. "Can you believe it? SHE wants to talk to me. Cheeky cow."

The bottom dropped out of Remus' stomach. "A-about what?"

Tonks shrugged. "NO idea but - hang on, where are you going?"

"Out." Said Remus simply.

The door to the entrance hall opened with a bang. Remus plodded up the stairs gasping for breath and ran straight down to his old office, knocking the fat friar, two innocent first years and a disgruntled Snape over in the process. Surprisingly the door was unlocked so he let himself in. It had changed a lot since he had been there. Pictures hung from the walls and the room seemed a lot brighter and cleaner. It was also less empty - homier. There were two doors at the back of the room, one led to the bedroom. He threw it open but no one was in there so he proceeded to the next room; the bathroom. He pushed it open roughly, stepped inside and was greeted by a deafening scream. "S-sorry!" He put his hands over his eyes and left the room hurriedly. "Sorry - I-I didn't realise you'd be - not wearing anything."

"WHAT do you want?" Clarisse stepped out angrily. Remus felt an old acquaintance in his lower regions rising for a peek at the action and wisely decided to hide it by standing behind the desk. She had put on a dressing gown - not that it made much difference. It was possibly the smallest dressing gown Remus had ever seen in his life. His eyes travelled down her uncontrollably. The robe hung loosely over her shoulders exposing most of her breasts and ALL of her legs.

"Your legs!" Exclaimed Remus. "What happened?"

Clarisse cooled down immediately. "Oh, them." Snow-white scars littered her slender would-be-perfect legs. "Zere was an accident when I was small. Well - eet wasn't exactly an accident."

Remus flopped into the desk chair and thrust out the chair in front of it. "Come along Miss Tonks. Tell me ALL about it."

She took her seat quietly. At first it looked as though she didn't know where to begin, but after a few minutes it had all come out at once. "I - told you zat my grand-muzzer was a were'wolf didn't I? Well, zat of course made my muzzer a half-wolf. I lived in a small village. Never saw my fazzer of course. The villagers - used to - to." Remus put his hand on hers. "Zey used to attack us frequently. Because of what we were. A-and one time." She sniffed. "One time, some drunken lout decided to throw a petrol bomb through our window." Seeing Remus' confusion, she added. "An explosive device zat muggles make from alcohol bottles. It burned my house to ze ground. Killed my muzzer. I 'ad to live wiz my grandfazzer after zat."

"Oh." Remus sighed. He didn't quite know what to say. Luckily though, Clarisse beat him to it.

"Zanks for listening to me, Remus."

He smiled, "For you, my dear, anything."

A little of the mischievous look crept back on her face. "Anyzing?"

He nodded as if she was challenging him.

"Would you-" Her eyes travelled around the room for inspiration. "-Dress in drag?"

He burst out laughing.

"Is zat a laugh of defeat, MONSIEUR Lupin?"

"Definitely not." His grin was comical. "If - the occasion arose - I would dress in drag for you."

Unperturbed her eyes wandered the room again. "Ok -would you-" They landed on a photograph of ballerinas. Her smile widened. "-Dress in drag as a ballerina."

He nodded again, tears of laughter leaking down his face.

"Ok-" She began again. "Would you dress in drag, as a ballerina and - do ze can can?"

"Yup m'dear."

Not giving up she dried again. "Would you - dress in drag as a ballerina, do ze can can - wearing pink nail varnish?"

The nodding ensued.

Clarisse bit her lip in thought. "Err - dress in drag as a pink nail polish wearing ballerina and do ze can can to ze national anzem, wearing a union Jacques thong." (A/N oh yes readers - you KNOW its gonna happen eventually. So keep reading and reviewing!!! Something to look forward to.) She sighed. "Oh mon Dieu, it seems I 'ave been beaten. Oh well." Her smile was unbearable, Lupin leaned forward, her hot breath tormenting his lips, they were millimetres apart. Clarisse smiled and moved away from him teasingly. "I am afraid you 'ave to go monsieur." She pouted.

"Why?" Moaned Lupin, a mock childishness in his voice.

"Because." Said Clarisse. "You've SEEN." She indicated her body.

He shrugged. "I liked what I saw."

"Even ze legs?"

He smiled, "Especially the legs."

She smiled enticingly. "I believe you are acquainted wiz my bedroom?"

Lupin almost passed out. "Y-yes."

"Well zen," She ushered him out of her office so that they stood in the doorway in the hall. "Zere's no need for you to be re-introduced is zere?" She made to move away from him but Remus held her back, pouting.

"S'not nice to tease." He said huskily.

"No," She leaned closer. "It's not, is it?" Their lips met and fireworks exploded at the bottom of Remus' stomach and his head went dizzy as her arms found their way around his body.

They leapt apart when someone cleared their throat behind them.

"We were just - umm - "

"-Doing-"

"-Nothing."

Remus suddenly got a sense of déjà vu. This situation had definitely happened before.

Dumbledore stood in front of them. "It seems that I'm right again. I knew you'd have to surface for air sometime."

They both blushed.

"I was just about to send Professor Tonks to fetch you. And - with her simply ASTOUNDING intuition, she's done it even before I got round to asking her. EXCELLENT work Clarisse."

She blushed a deeper red.

"Now." Stated Dumbledore. "I need to speak to both of you and Harry in my office. I am going to go and get him, you two go and wait up there." He left, his robes trailing impressively behind him.

"Alright-" Said Lupin. "We'd better get go-"

"Wait a minute." Interrupted Clarisse. "Why are you 'ere?"

"Huh?"

"Well - you ran to 'Ogwarts and stormed into my bazroom - you nev'er did tell me what you came for?"

"Oh YEAH." Remembered Remus. "Yeah - I came to ask you what you wanted to talk to Tonk-Nyphadora for, I mean - you weren't going to tell her about - about US were you?"

She shook her head. "Of course not. She'd decapitate you and zat would never do." She lightly kissed him on the lips. "I just wanted to see if we could - sort zings out zat's all."

"Oh." He leaned in again, but she shook her head.

"We have to go to Dumbledore."

"It's Bellatrix." Said Dumbledore. "She was sighted near Hogwarts. Obviously precautions will have to be taken. Remus you will come to Harry, NOT, under ANY circumstances will it be the other way around."

They all nodded.

"Clarisse. I presume you will inform Remus when Harry needs to talk to him.

"Of course headmaster."

"That's all."

Harry left the room looking suddenly angry and confused.

"Harry?" Said Lupin gently. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"No." He snapped. "Nothing stupid. Exactly what you told Sirius and look what happened to him. I'm gonna find Bellatrix. I'll find her, then I'll kill her, that is DEFINITELY - NOT - STUPID." He stormed off.

"Harr-" But it was too late.

He stormed past where Ron and Hermione had been waiting for him.

"Fine." Muttered Ron. "Be like that."

"I hope he doesn't go after Bellatrix though."

Ron, who hadn't been listening, began to think out loud. "I wonder who throws more tantrums, him, Tonks or a four year old."

Hermione considered for a minute. "Remus." She declared.

"REMUS?" Ron shook his head. "Most of the time he's calmer than - than-" He searched for a metaphor. "-A very calm thing."

"EXACTLY. He has emotional debris."

"Huh?"

"Just think what's going on in that head of his."

Ron looked thoughtful. "Blimey. That'll be a bloody tsunami when it all comes out."

R+R but nothing too mean!

I've tried to stick to the rating. Not that I believe in ratings. Ratings were invented because a bunch of whining parents want to bring their children up with cotton wool in their ears.