Author:  The Wanlorn

Title: For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky 25/?

Summary: I bite at summaries, so you're not getting one.

Rating: PG13 for language and stuff.

Spoilers: None that I know of.

Pairing: Eventually will touch upon all pairings I like.

Distribution: Ask and ye shall receive.

Disclaimer:  Jander, Raistlin, Ao, they all belong to WotC.  Nire and Azrael are mine.  No money is being made, this is purely for my amusement.

Thank Yous: Thanks to my beta, Kitrine.

Italics denote emphasis or thoughts.  I trust you to be smart enough to figure out which ones.  Or book names and the like.

Italics denote telepathic speech.

Chapter Twenty-Five

            Elation welled in Jander as Nire opened her eyes.  The right feeling that had been clutching at his insides for two weeks was suddenly gone.  His little one was finally awake.  He could feel her again in the very back of his mind, her comforting conscience curling around his spine like a balm to soothe his fears.  Never would he take her for granted.  Never again.

            As Nire opened her eyes, she had to fight back wracking sobs.  The last thing she wanted was to be back n this cursed body and to be back in the realm of the living.  All of the old feelings that she had been trying to escape had come crashing back the moment she opened her eyes, tigers lying in wait.  Not only did her entire body ache with a fierce, all-over pain of weariness she had never felt before, but her insides hurt, too.  Her throat, through lack of water in the past time she had been out, was dry and hurt like a bitch.

            "Drink this, little one."  Jander could see that her throat hurt.  Raistlin had left a pitcher of water by the cot, just in case she awoke.

            She felt cool, gently hands lifting her head up and putting the glass to her lips.  Thirstily, she gulped down the cool liquid, instant relief on her throat.  It settled in her stomach like a thick weight and she could feel it sloshing around in the empty cavern of her belly.  Her thirst was slaked before the glass was empty and Jander lowered her head back to the pillow.  She could sense him crouching by her cot, but she didn't look at him.  Instead, she kept her eyes fixed n the ceiling.  Her mind was racing, drawing conclusions and coming up with courses of actions in the blink of an eye.  It was quite obvious that she had to start pushing them away.  Or maybe not.

            Why was he here, anyway?  When she was sick, she was ignored.  Now that he could do all that mortal stuff, he wouldn't want to be hanging around her.  So why was he here?

            Jander watched her quietly, waiting for her to speak and growing more worried again.  He longed to reach out and touch her soft hair, as he had been free to do when she was unconscious.  He just wanted to reassure himself that she was alive, to comfort her.  He could see in her eyes, staring at the ceiling but not seeing, that something painful was going on in her head.  He just wanted to comfort her.  But knowing how she would react, he kept his hands to himself, just sitting and watching her.  She licked her lips and began to speak, her voice gravely after the loss of two weeks.

            "Why are you still here?"

            That cut through him.  Had he been standing, he would have stumbled backwards.  AS it was, he rocked back on his heels, almost falling over.  It took him a moment to come up with a response, to force his voice to work.  "Wh- why?  Do you want me to leave?"

            Gods, no, she didn't want him to leave.  He might want to leave and only be staying out of guilt, but she wanted him to be there.  She wanted Raistlin to be on her other side for one last time.  But no, he didn't want to be here, so she would absolve him of guilt.

            "You got what you wanted, assuming it worked, so why are you still here?"  She didn't want to hear the answer, but had to ask the question.

            Shock and incredulity skipped across Jander's face in a parody of a merry game.  His mouth gaped open and shut as he tried to force himself to speak, to reassure him.  The shock was so great that his mind couldn't form the words that he wanted to say.

            "You think…" he stuttered.  "You actually… believe, that I… I…" Anger now warred with shock.  Hadn't he done enough to show her different?  He and Raistlin, working together but separate?  Why wouldn't she believe them?

            Nire forced her body, which was greatly protesting movement of any kind, to roll over onto her stomach and buried her face in her pillow so that Jander wouldn't see the tears welling in her eyes.

            "Did you think that killing yourself would affect no one?" he asked, shocked and outraged.  "What, you thought that we all wouldn't be devastated because you were dead?  That we would just shrug and get over it?  Or did you even bother to stop and think about how you were effecting people?"

            Nire's shoulders hitched with silent sobs as she listened to Jander's anger-filled voice.  When he paused to take a breath and refill his lungs so he could continue, she say this and the wind was immediately taken from his sails.  Again, if he could have taken everything back, he would.  As it were, he rubbed her back with one hand, apologizing.

            "Oh, Nire, I'm sorry, little one.  Please don't cry, sweetie, please don't."

            She shifted enough so she could turn and cling to him, a happenstance rarer than blue moons.  Surprised at first, he quickly hugged her tightly to him as she cried on his shoulder.  As quickly as she could, however, she choked back her tears and pushed away, wiping off her face.  Just in time, too, because Raistlin came in, looking dejected and worried.  When he realized that Nire was conscious, a brilliant smile spread across his face.  Jander got out of the way as the man rushed to hug the child.  IN another rare instance, she returned his embrace.

            "You gave us a scare, there, lass."

            "Yeah, I know."  Her stomach growled loudly.  "My empty tummy's not too happy with me.  So how long was I out?"  Her voice was still raspy from lack of use.

            "Two tendays."

            "Holy shit."  She closed her eyes and carefully lay her body back down, stifling groans of pain.  "You got any food layin' around?"

            "Of course."  He shot Jander a look that clearly said, Keep an eye on her.  When he left, the vampire returned to Nire's bedside.

            Being back in her body sucked.  She hurt all over and was already exhausted.  And starving.  "You look like shit," she commented quietly, her eye starveling up and down his visibly body.

            And it was true.  His hair looked fried out, not the usual silky look of spun gold.  With stark visibility, his cheek bones stood out in his face and his skin hung off his body like close-fitting clothes.  He was much thinner and his bronze skin was a dull, unhealthy  color.

            "I do.  I've been worried sick over you."

            She closed her eyes for a moment, resting.  Maybe Ao was right.  Maybe these two did truly care for her.  But if he was wrong, then she didn't know if she could handle it.  "I'm sorry.  You were right, I was only thinking of myself and wallowing in self-pity."

            "No, you weren't.  Otherwise, you wouldn't have… done it the way you did."

            "Did it at least work?" she asked tiredly.

            "Ah…" This, Jander felt guilty for now that she as awake.  "I don't know.  I didn't exactly try anything…  I, ah, haven't exactly left this room…" He turned his head away and looked down, embarrassed.  Had he been mortal, his cheeks would have been flaming.  Why that embarrassed him s much, he wasn't quite sure.  It just did.

            A huge grin filled Nire's face as he said that.  She pushed away all the reasons that were trying to get her attention as to why he had done that and focused on the one that she needed.  That proved that he actually cared about what happened to her.

            "Thanks man," she said quietly.  "You have no idea how much that means to me."  When he looked back at her again, she continued.  "So, I'll make you a deal.  I will actively attempt to heal and get better if you do the same.  Which means actually eating properly.  Deal?"

            He had to think about that for a moment.  If it made Nire strive to live as opposed to trying to die, then… he supposed it was worth it.  "All right.  Deal."

            "Pinky swear?" she asked, sticking out her little finger.

            "Er, pinky swear."  He copied the movement, unsure as to what that was.  The question was answered when she hooked her pinky around his and shook his hand like that.

            "Good," she said.  "If you break a pinky swear, you die, plain and simple.  God will strike you down on the spot."

            He laughed in delighted surprise at this little bit of childishness coming from Nire.  "All right, little one."

            Her smug smile turned him wary as she pointed to her closet.  "Top shelf in the back, my friend.  Both of 'em, now."

            Slightly confused, but still in good humor, he went and checked on the shelf she direct him to.  The sweet smile faded off of his face as he pulled out two chilled wine bottles.  He turned back to Nire, holding them in front of him like they were poison.

            "Where did you get there?" he asked, his voice strangled.

"A bloodbroker," she said smugly, lying through her teeth.  A few days before, she had snuck into a slaughterhouse and stolen a bucket of pig blood, then filled the two wine bottles.  Some innate knowledge told her that it would keep for a long time if kept cold.

            "You what?" he exclaimed, completely shocked.  "Are you insane?"

            "Yep, I am.  Don't get all pissy on my, I took precautions.  And don't you dare try to back out on this.  You pinky swore."

            Behind her angry glare, she was scared.  This was the first time in her life she had ever admitted to being scared,. And it was not a happy feeling.  Although she would not admit the rest of it, this was a test.  How much would he do for her?  How much could she trust him?  How much?  She studied his face, trying to figure out whether he was going to be angry or if he would just drink the blood.

            Jander could somehow see that this was important to her, though he didn't know why.  But he sure as hell wasn't going to do this without some kind of token protest.  Bloodbrokers weren't scrupulous at all when it came to acquiring their supply.  But… gods.  She had him wrapped around her little finger.  Did she know it?

            "And what about you?  I recall that there was another end to this deal."

            A great relief filled Nire when he said that.  "Raist's making me…" She paused to check, then made a face.  "Ugh.  Chicken soup.  And you damn well better drink both of those right now, right here in front of me so I know you actually drank them.  And hurry up so you're done before Raistlin gets back up here, 'cause then you'll get all squeamish, and he'll get all squeamish and I don't want to have to deal with that 'cause I'm exhausted."  Finally, she stopped and took a deep breath.

            Jander tried to fight back a gin as she said all of that in a big rush, but he couldn't manage to hold the stern, angry look.  It melted into a grin as he shook his head slowly.  But as he used his thumb to force the cork out of one of the bottles, his face regained its unhappy look.  He stared into her eyes as he slowly and deliberately drained the first bottle, trying to convey just how unhappy he was about this.  How was she going to react to seeing, actually seeing, him drink blood?  As the first drop hit his tongue and dripped down the back of his throat, he knew from the earthy and robust flavor that it was pig, not human blood.  He hoped the bloodbroker hadn't cheated her out of her money.

            When the entire wine bottle was finished, his body screamed for more and he had to fight extra hard to control his eyes and his fangs.  Admittedly, he did feel much better, warmth spreading through his cold body as the new blood circulated.  The second bottle was finished with much less reluctance.  Psychologically, he felt guilty and a put perturbed that Nire had coerced him into doing this.  A darker part of him enjoyed the blood, loved the taste and the feel.  Physically, he felt much better, if a bit hungry.

            A huge grin had spread across Nire's face and she relaxed as he put down the two bottles on her worktable.  He wiped an arm across his mouth and looked away, clearly abashed and ashamed.  It made Nire's breath catch at how cute it made him look.

            "You look so much healthier already," she told him, happily smiling.

            He looked over at her guiltily.  Gods, he was such a vile beast!  How could she look so proud and delighted?  How could she look upon him feeding on blood like the monster he was and not be disgusted?  He should leave all of these mortals behind, but… He didn't know if he could leave his little one.

            "If I didn't feel like I'd been run over by all the horses and caravans of a gypsy band, I'd get up and hug you right now."

            That got the desired soft chuckle form him, the ashamed look slowly leaving his face.  "Did you know that wasn't human?" he finally asked.

            She snorted some laughter, then winced in pain.  "I can't believe you honestly think I would be stupid enough to go to a bloodbroker without you to guard my back.  I got it from some slaughterhouse on my world."  She snickered again, ignoring how relieved Jander looked.

            When Raistlin came back up to her room with a bowl of chicken soup on a tray, she stared at it with obvious loathing.  Jander helped her sit up, which she had to admit she needed, and she picked up the spoon on the tray.

            "Observe, my friend.  Even though I hate chicken soup, I'm going to eat it anyways without whining because I know that Raist won't make me anything different or let me get away without at least trying some."

            "Oh, stop whining," Raistlin said in good humor.  "It's just broth."  He could tell that something had just happened between the two people in the room, and he knew that he didn't want to know what.

            Grinning, the twelve-year-old began to sip at the golden liquid, occasionally slurping with a twinkle in her eye to annoy the two adults in the room.  When her stomach began to loudly clamor for more, she abandoned her game and began to gulp the hot liquid.  The two men shared a look, glad that this child that they doted upon was feeling well enough to eat.

            "So," she said between spoonfuls.  "What's Az up to?"

            At the dead silence, she slowly looked up at Jander's stricken face.  "Please tell me that you at least told him where you were."

            There was another uncomfortable silence as the vampire mentally cursed himself.  Damn it!  And now Nire was pissed at him again.

            "Jesus Christ, Jander!  I could kill you right now you stupid fucking bastard!  He's going to think he was just abandoned again.  You better get your sorry ass back to wherever the hell you left him."

            Muttering something unintelligible, Jander disappeared, looking like a whipped puppy.  Utterly exhausted, Nire closed her eyes and sank down deep into her pillow.  She just wanted to sleep now.

            "One of these days, I'm going to kill him," she said tiredly.  "I really am.  I'm going to drive a stake through his heart.  He is so wrapped up in his own self-pity that he still doesn't realize how much people depend on him."  Realizing the irony of that, she cracked open an eye.  "Don't even open your mouth, Raist.  I think I'm gonna go back to sleep now,' she mumbled, already half-gone.

            Raistlin took away the tray with its empty bowl and covered her up gently, briefly resting his hand on her forehead.  "Sweet dreams, lass."

            He dimmed the lamps as he left the room.

*  *  *  *  *

            Jander appeared in his room at the inn, hoping all of his things were still there and it was still 'his' room.  Luckily for him, everything was as he had left it, save for his money pouch, which was a few coins lighter.  That was to be expected, though.  After all, Azrael was mortal and needed to eat.

            Heaving a sigh of relief, he went to check on Azrael's room to make sure the teenager was still there.  The door t the teenager's room was open, so Jander paused in the doorway.  The pale-skinned boy was standing in the middle of the room, chewing on his bottom lip ad looking like he was trying not to cry.  His pack was by his feet and he was clearly about to leave.  Jander thanked whatever gods were listening that he did not have to chase after the lad.

            "Where are you going, kiddo?" he asked quietly.

            Azrael jerked in surprise and turned the quarter-turn needed to be facing Jander.  His eyes widened visibly in shock and relief.  The next moment, he was hugging Jander and crying into his chest.  Jander rubbed his back soothingly, waiting.  Soon enough, the teenager stopped, realizing his foolishness.  Just because Jander was back didn't mean that he was back for good.  Maybe to get all of his belongings.  That made more sense.  Angry with himself, Azrael backed up a couple of steps.  That still didn't give him the right to disappear without saying goodbye.  Sure, he could handle being left behind again, that was the natural thing to happen.  But not like this.

            So he was pissed off at Jander, too.  He wasn't a thin, scrawny kid anymore.  Being trained in various methods of fighting by Nire had given him muscles.  These muscles he put to use as he clenched his fist and drove it into Jander's abdomen.  There was enough power behind the punch to drive the vampire back a couple steps.

            "If you're going to leave," he spat, "then whatever.  I've taken care of myself before, I can do it again.  But don't just disappear and leave me wondering if you're coming back or not."  He glared at Jander, ignoring the tight feeling in his gut caused by the thought of being alone again.

Once again, Nire's ability to read people was proven to be reliable.  Mentally, Jander was kicking himself. "I'm not leaving, Az.  Nire-"

            Here, he paused, not quite sure what to say, how much to reveal.  The question was answered when Nire told him, her mental voice drowsy, Go ahead and tell him I tried to kill myself.  Might as well.

            "She tried to kill herself," the words left a bitter taste in his mouth, "and almost succeeded.  She's been comatose for two weeks, so I've been with her.  I'm not used to having people around who acre or notice if I disappear.  I'm sorry."

            "You damn well better be,' Azrael muttered, a bubble of relief filling him.  "Is she okay?"

            Jander smiled, knowing that he was somewhat forgiven.  "Yes, she is.  She finally woke up today, now she's sleeping."  Only having napped for brief periods of time in the past two weeks, Jander was tired.  "I'm going to go take a nap, then probably go check on Nire.  Do you want to come with me when I do?"

            "Yeah."  Azrael nodded eagerly.

            "Okay.  Goodnight, Az."

            Jander retired to his room, wearily collapsing onto the unused bed.  He only half-stirred each time Azrael cracked open the door to make sure he was still there.  Eventually, he became sick of half-waking every half hour and forced himself to wake up all the way the next time the boy peeked his head in.

            "If you're that worried about me disappearing again," he said groggily, "then just stay in here.  Find something to entertain yourself quietly or get on that side of the bed and go to sleep."

            It was too early for the teenager to sleep, so Jander didn't expect him to lie down.  And, of course, he did not.  With his one half-opened eye, Jander could see the boy come in and close the door.  Why was he this exhausted?  It wasn't normal… Seeing that Azrael was settled on the floor, he allowed himself to fall back asleep.

~~End Chapter Twenty-Five~~