This is a little fic I wrote when I couldn't sleep and it was like…I think 3:00 in the morning and I was feeling incredibly emotional and pissed so I wrote this while I listened to my Incubus cd…..Enjoy!
Wish You Were Here
Who is that lonely girl walking down the beach thinking about a lost love?
Hmm, weird, it's me.
The love is for sure gone…forever.
He is around me though.
Mentally, emotionally….sometimes physically.
Yeah, physically. I can't seem him but I feel him. Especially on those cold desperate lonely nights I often have when I can feel him inside me. He traps my soul, makes my body go weak. I can't breathe it's so endearing. A weird sensation and pleasure of his short presence inside of me.
But no, he's not here right now while I take my lonely walk on the beach.
I sit staring at the water, watching the sun come up. I feel a song coming on…
I dig my toes into the sand,
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket.
I lean against the wind
Pretend that I am weightless
And in this moment I am happy
Happy…
I am most certainly not happy.
I haven't been since I was last with him.
Him, you, dare I speak your name? It's been awhile since I've said it but I feel like if I do you will magically appear.
"Ron," I say. My breath is cold and my saliva has turned into crystals that are hanging at the top of my mouth dangling, waiting, anticipating, to fall off and stab me on my tongue as punishment for speaking your name.
It's getting dark now like some invisible demon form of your soul is making the world shaded so that it will never see the sunshine shade of life. It had become a ritual to obsess over the memory of you. Dare I say it?
"I wish you were here," I sing though it is not singing.
It is more of a heartless cry. Or a desperate cry.
But I know for sure it is not singing.
Are you here now? Did my wish come true? I come here everyday searching for you because this is the last place I saw and felt you in a living form.
The world is getting darker. Yet again reminded of the haunting tune:
I lay my head onto the sand
The sky resembles a back-lit canopy with holes punched in it.
I'm counting UFO's
I signal them with my lighter
And in this moment I am happy
Happy…
No, it's still a lie.
Not having you anymore makes me feel so detrimental that I weep. Silently.
I do not have you here to wipe the tears from my face.
A faint wind blows and freezes the acid running down my cheeks.
I wish you were here.
I feel possessed, demented, maddened that you no longer walk on this planet.
It is night now and the air is no longer a faint breeze but a strong wind. It blows my hair in all directions and slaps my face but I do not care that I am cold or hurt.
Speak those words to me. Sing those lyrics to me. Make me feel special and alive!
Wait…you can't. Your gone. And never coming back.
The worlds a roller coaster
And I am not strapped in
Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are busy in the air
No I am not on a roller coaster. Or reading a book. Or chatting merrily with friends. I am lonely. I am depressed. Fighting a battle I will never win because our army lost its leader. I need to forget you…that's ridiculous.
Me? Hermione? Forget you? Ha!
I am laughing a cold mirthless laugh. I shock myself. I now feel vulnerable.
Is that you?
No.
It's just me.
The lonely girl on the beach.
Wishing you were here.
Ok how was that? I had so much on my mind that night that I just let it out on paper…I hope ya'll get the mood of it. If ya'll have never heard that song you need to!! It is an awesome cd. It's called Morning View and it is one of my favorite cd's. Please review. There are no more chapters so don't ask me to write more!!!
Quote: (Hehe… I wrote this)
Forget the old stories
And what people think are true,
I will show them something
They wish they never knew…
