Married with Children: The Bundys Meet Michael Myers

(The "Married with Children" opening sequence plays. Al Bundy is sitting on the couch, watching TV. His wife, Peg, is fixing dinner.....You know the rest by now!)

INT. BUNDY HOUSE, EVENING: Al Bundy comes home from work with a man in a white mask and a gas station attendant's outfit and carrying a knife. Peg is reading a women's magazine. Bud and Kelly are upstairs. Buck the dog is sitting next to Peg.

AL: Peg, I'm home! And we're having a guest over for dinner.

(Peg stands up to greet the masked man.)

AL: Peg, this is my good friend, Michael Myers. Michael, Peg.

PEG: It's nice to meet you, Mr. Myers.

(Peg attempts to shake Michael's hand, but Micheal gets out his knife and attempts to stab Peg in the heart. Laugh track. Al interrupts.)

AL: Uhhhhh....(Hollers for the kids) Hey kids, come down here and meet our guest for dinner!

(Laugh track. Bud and Kelly come down from upstairs to get a glimpse of Michael Myers.)

AL: I'd like you all to meet my good friend, Michael Myers. I went to Haddonfield Elementary with this guy. But please be careful, 'cause he is famous for killing people on Halloween Night back in Haddonfield.

(Laugh track.)

AL: What are we havin' for dinner, Peg?

PEG: Your favorite, Al.....Pepperoni Pizza from some fast food place.

(Laugh track.)

(The doorbell rings, and it's the pizza guy. Michael Myers answers the door.)

PIZZA GUY: Here's your pizza. By the way, aren't you a little too old to be trick-or-treating, dude?

(Michael attempts to kill the pizza guy. Laugh track. Al interrupts.)

AL: Here's your tip, dude.

PIZZA GUY: KEEP IT! SEE IF I EVER GIVE PIZZA TO YOU EVER AGAIN!!

(The pizza guy throws the pizza and runs away. Laugh track.)

(Cut to the dining room table.)

PEG: So, Mr. Myers, tell us a little about yourself.

(No response. Laugh track.)

AL: Uhhh...Peg, he doesn't really talk, he just kills people.

PEG: Oh, okay. You want some breadsticks with that, Mr. Myers?

(Michael nods his head yes. Laugh track. Peg gives Michael some breadsticks to eat with his pizza. Michael eats the pizza without stopping once.)

AL: Hey! 'Owd'ya do that, Michael?

(Michael then gets his knife back out and kills Peg.)

AL: You killed Peg!! Why I oughtta.....!

(Michael then kills off Kelly, Bud, and Buck.)

AL: Yuo can kill my wife, but you cannot ever kill my kids, ya freak!!

(Michael then grabs Al by the neck tie and throws him out of his own house. Al runs back in and is immediately killed. The audience boos. Michael Myers goes into the audience and kills everybody in the audience, as well as the entire crew.)

BACK HOME IN HADDONFIELD: Michael Myers puts on his pajamas and prepares for bed.

MICHAEL: Those Bundys were a weird family. No wonder the show was cancelled.

(Michael turns the lights out and goes to bed. Laugh track.)

THE END