Chapter Three: Up to Me
Jenny hadn't been able to fall asleep yet. Every time she closed her eyes either Willow or Cordiela's face would appear. Not their normal smiling faces but the one she had last seen. Neither girl had been in a good place. Willow hadn't stopped sobbing since they had discerned the horrible news. Oz had volunteered to stay the night with her.
Cordiela had alternated between painful fits of crying and anger driven rages where she bullied, threatened, and tried to terrorize the group into admitting they were lying about Xander. That it was all some kind of sick practical joke everybody was playing on her. Nobody had been able to get through to the tall brunette that Xander was dead.
Jenny swallows another mouthful of the whiskey she had been drinking relishing the burning sensation as the harsh liquor made its way down her throat. Normally she wouldn't drink anything so strong but she didn't feel she deserved the smooth flavors of her favorite wines. She had a need to punish herself and a desire to get as drunk as possible so she had gone for the whiskey. It was the obvious solution to both her urges.
She looks down as she swirls the tiny amount of liquor in the bottom of her glass. On top of Xander's probable death nobody had been able to find Buffy either. There was no answer at her house when they had tried to call her earlier. Rupert was going to check out her house after he got Cordiela and Amy home safely. Jenny didn't envy the person who had to tell the tiny slayer her best friend was dead.
A rapid pounding on her front door pulls her out of her depressing thoughts. "Coming," she shouts and the pounding stops almost instantly. She draws off the last of her drink setting the glass down on the table before she heads to the front door of her apartment.
Whatever she had been expecting was definitely not what she saw when she pulled the door open. Buffy was sitting on the floor directly across from her door. Her red leather clad legs were spread about a foot apart with the soles of her black boots planted firmly into the beige carpet. A large bottle of Jim Beam rest on the rug between her legs. A cigarette dangles lazily from the first two fingers of her left hand that rest on her knee. As the smoke drifts to the ceiling she absently picked at the short hairs of the carpet next to her right buttocks. Her dark silk shirt was unbuttoned revealing a very firm, very toned midriff as well as dark green sports bra.
She had never seen the little slayer dressed so dark before. Nor had she seen her looking so relaxed, innocent, sensuous, or wanton all at the same time. It didn't even appear like Buffy was trying for any of those things. The tiny blonde just looked like she was being Buffy for maybe the first time in her life and this was what came out.
Barely a second had passed before Jenny breathes out a relieved sigh at seeing Buffy sitting here unhurt in front of her. "Buffy," she greets happily as she begins to move forward.
"Don't!" Buffy snarls before Jenny had even shifted her weight. "Stay inside. You'll be safe in there. For awhile anyway," she finishes to softly for Jenny to hear.
Jenny stops moving as soon as Buffy had said to stop. She could tell something wasn't right. Buffy looked completely unconcerned about any danger yet seemed to feel there was a danger to Jenny herself. She takes a deep breath deciding it would be better to get the news of Xander's death out of the way quickly. "Buffy," she says gently. The blonde looks at her with what Jenny can only describe hunger mixed with curiosity. "I've got some bad news. It's about Xander."
"He's dead," Buffy bluntly informs Jenny. The teacher looks taken aback at Buffy's blasé attitude about Xander demise. " I know, seen the body," she smirks at something she finds amusing. "Actually got the body in the trunk of Spike's Desoto out back," she chuckles amused with herself.
Jenny stares at Buffy horrified by the comment. Watches numbly as the young girl inhales deeply from her smoldering cigarette. She waits for Buffy to exhale the smoke, and waits, and waits, and waits some more. Finally Buffy picks up the bottle of hard whiskey and takes a long pull. She sighs contentedly expelling the smoke from her lungs. "Buffy," Jenny says slowly trying to deny the evidence staring her in the face. "What's going on?"
"Oh come on Jen!" Buffy exclaims loudly causing the teacher to jump back, "you're kind of smart for a teacher. It can't be all that hard for you to take one plus one and get three," she sneers at the gypsy. Buffy was surprised to find there was still a lot of residual anger at the older woman, but Giles loved her so she was safe from Buffy for the moment.
"What are you doing here? If this is some kind of attempt to lure me out, or invite you in. Telling me what you are kind of botches up the plan," Jenny responds coldly to the undead girl.
Buffy rises to her feet in one smooth motion hurling herself at the barrier that prevents her from reaching Jenny. She slams into it with enough force she staggers back a step, "what I wouldn't give right now to get my hands on you. To feel the bones snapping as I slowly break every single on in your body," she hisses as she presses herself against the barrier.
Her body squirms sensuously as she begins talking again, "to run my hands along your smooth skin," she purrs softly. "To gently knead your soft, supple flesh with my strong hands. To tilt your head back, to the side exposing your elegant neck. I'd run my tongue over every inch of your heated flesh, stoking fires, desire that you've only imagined in the darkest recesses of your mind before. I'd have you begging me, and you would beg me to sink my fangs into your throat," the tip of her tongue barely slips out between her lips. Slowly it grazes a trail along her lips glistening them slightly.
"I'd take my time drinking you down Jenny. Make it last for hours, each moment an eternity into ecstasy. I'd savor every last drop of blood I would get from you, I'd take you beyond any pleasure you've ever felt before. I'd make you mine Jenny. In those last moments, just when you think it is over. That your struggle is finally done I'd press my bleeding breast to your lips making you mine forever."
She sits down hard on her floor as her body turns to jello. It takes her a moment to even realize she is sitting on the floor. It takes even longer for her brain to return, to start functioning properly as it comes away from the scene Buffy had painted for her. Somehow she had no doubts that Buffy would be able to do exactly what she claimed. At the same time her mind begins working normally again, her body begins to return to its regular state. Her breathing slows, her temperature drops back down from the peak it had risen to a few seconds ago.
She stares out the doorway at Buffy who's now sitting Indian style just beyond the threshold. The young girl is taking another drink from her bottle of whiskey and she already had another cigarette lit as well. She extends the bottle through the barrier and Jenny moves so she's sitting down opposite from Buffy mirroring her style. Taking the offered bottle she stares at it.
"It's not laced with anything," Buffy informs Jenny when she sees her hesitate.
Jenny jerks at the words. In truth she hadn't even considered the possibility. It was Buffy sitting across from her. A dead Buffy who just intimated a strong desire to have sex with her while feeding from her before finally turning her. In a strange way she couldn't explain it still felt like Buffy.
She takes a short pull from the bottle before passing a little piece of it back through the barrier. Buffy smiles at the caution Jenny's showing. "It wasn't that," Jenny finally says to Buffy.
"Then what was it?" The tiny blonde asks with just the hint of a smirk as she takes the bottle.
"Why me?"
"Right to the sixty-four thousand dollar question," Buffy jokes lightly as she giggles a little. "Could I have really gone to any of the others? Subjected them to that display. Especially after finding out Xander's dead. Just kind of goes beyond cruelty there."
"Yet you put me through it?" She asks Buffy angrily as she takes the bottle back from Buffy.
Buffy watches Jenny take another swig from the bottle, "lets face it Jenny. We're not friends, never have been, probably never will be," she says accepting the bottle.
"But you were willing to have sex with me while you fed off me then turned me?" She disbelieving questions the undead slayer.
Buffy shrugs, "I get these urges and desires. It takes so much not to give into them. It's why I didn't come here first. Well that and I didn't want Spike to be unprotected while we talked," Buffy explains to Jenny as she lights another cigarette.
"You've fed?" Jenny asks with a sense of regret filling her. She points to the cigarettes at Buffy's side.
The blond smiles at her, "several times actually," she says brightly as she tosses her pack of smokes into the teacher. "There was the owner of Mcguinty's Ammo. Should've heard him squealing like a little girl. Oh, please… No… Don't. Tasted kind of sour though. Then had to prove to Spike that he was still a ruthless killer so we stop at Webster's Liquor over on Elm. You wouldn't believe how indignant old Chavez was. He actually thought we were there to rob the place," Jenny holds up the bottle of Jim Bean.
Buffy looks a little ashamed at being caught in a lie, "well yeah. Okay so we did rob the place but only after me and Spike shared our first meal together. Luscious little clerk, she tasted like citrus all sweet and acidy at the same time. Just made want to go..."
"Buffy," Jenny moans feeling nauseous with the gleeful way Buffy was describing her nights activity.
"Get some ice cream," she finishes quietly. "Guess you didn't really need to hear all the bloody details."
"Not particularly Buffy," she replies taking another drink hoping it would settle her queasy stomach. After a moment she looks back at Buffy as she passes the bottle back to her. "You know about the love spell that Xander cast?" Jenny asks after a second. Buffy smiles as she gives Jenny a slight nod. "How'd you find out about it?"
Buffy smiles turns into a slight smirk, "where do you think Xander was?" She chuckles, "he was actually trying to keep everybody safe from me. He finally acts like a man and it winds up killing him," she finishes with that slight shrug of hers.
"Well okay that explains the spell."
"It only partially explains the spell," Buffy corrects her. "When it ended, while angel was feeding me his blood. I thought it was the only me. I went from not being able to live without Alexander Harris to cursing his existence for getting me killed. Then turned," taking a drag off her cigarette she looks beyond the barrier at Jenny smiling softly. "It wasn't until I revived later, at the factory that I learnt Dru turned him that I put the entire thing together. Most of it anyway. I just thought it was every woman he came in contact with that was effected. I knew Giles would do the research thing and come to the same conclusions I did," Buffy explains amazing Jenny by how much she can say now that she didn't need to breath.
"Not to sound rude, but why are you here?"
Buffy smirks again, Jenny was really getting tired of that. "I need you to keep my friends safe from me. I wouldn't mind being with them for all time I just find the thought of hurting them to be repugnant."
"Are you sure you're a vampire?"
"Trust me. It's not the thought of turning them I'm having a problem with. It's the thought of killing them that I can't stand," she takes another drink. "That and I'm worried about when the times comes that I don't find the thought of killing them troublesome."
"What do you want me to do?" She asks not really believing that there was a vampire sitting outside her doorstep worried about her friends. Of course Buffy had never been your average anything so why should Jenny expect her to be a normal run of the mill vampire.
"Spike told me about a sort of de-invitation spell. Not many people ever get the chance to use it, what with how vampires tend to kill everyone in the house once they get the invite. You've got to find that, Giles, Willow, my mom. Their all exposed to Angel, who isn't going to be the happiest vamp once he learns I'm not going after the people from my life." She takes another, long drink from her pilfered bottle. She looks back in at Jenny, "Giles has to get Kendra up here in the meantime. The hell mouth still needs a guardian."
Jenny nods in understanding, "anything else?"
Buffy smiles at her again. Instead of it being her normal mischievous smirk this one seems a bit sad, "yeah Jen, there's one more thing you can do. It'll keep everybody safe from us for as long as you live."
Giles enters the Summers house with something like trepidation tingling at the base of his spine. He didn't like the fact that he hadn't been able to find Buffy all night. Despite everything she was normally a responsible girl who made sure to check in with him on at least a semi regular basis. That coupled with the fact that Xander was still missing and Giles couldn't help but feel certain dread.
If Xander had been with Buffy. If somehow he had tried to fend off her advances she would have become irritable with him to say the least. If the boy had somehow managed to anger her, which considering who he was talking about, it was a very likely scenario. Then it could be very possible that it had been Buffy who had killed him in a fit of rage. Giles wonders what she might have done after that. She would have felt guilty not understanding what had happened or why. Of that Giles had no doubt what so ever.
Chiding himself for having an overactive imagination he climbs the stairs to the second floor where he had spotted the only light in the house. Stopping outside the door to Buffy's room he can hear someone crying on the other side of the door, soft whimpering sobs from the sound. Pushing the door open he cautiously steps into the room. He easily spots Joyce lying in a crumple heap on the floor unaware of his presence in the room.
The signs of a struggle were clearly evident. A wall was cracked and indented from where a body had impacted with it. One of the windows was busted out. There was blood on the bed, not a lot but enough to cause him to worry even more. Buffy's clothes were carelessly strewn about the floor around her bed.
Something horrific transpired, he thinks to himself. With a quick glance at Joyce he adds, She saw what happened. Must have witnessed something bloody awful if she has delved into such a state, he muses as he cautiously approaches her. He wasn't sure what kind of reaction the mother of his slayer was going to have, or if he was even going to be able to get through to her.
His only other option if she didn't come to was having a council medical team flown in. Since there was no telling what had caused this, if it was natural trauma or something induced by mystical means. As carefully as he's able he rolls the younger woman over managing to avoid banging her head into anything.
Joyce stares up at him with unblinking eyes as tears stream down her face. "He took her," she groans out in a hoarse voice. "Said he was a, a. Said he made her, that it was my fault he had done it," her words are like a garbled mess barely understandable.
"Who Joyce? Who did what?" Giles presses unconcerned weather he should or not.
"Angel," she sobs the one word before drawing back upon herself.
Giles can feel his world spin away at the word. He knew what it meant. Knew that his slayer was dead, that Buffy was dead. The old librarian also knew there was no way in hell that Angelus was going to get away with this. Buffy might not have been able to kill her lover but he had no such compunctions. Granted his way didn't have the satisfaction of feeling the stake being driven into the undead bastards heart, but as far as Giles was concerned dead was dead. He would have to do it quickly though before Buffy rose. With the kind of demon she would make he didn't think the world stood much of a chance of surviving if she was allowed to live.
Buffy slides in behind the steering wheel of Spike's Desoto, "anybody take the bait?" She asks Spike as the bleach blonde vampire comes alive in the seat next to her.
Spike gestures to the back seat, "couple of concerned citizens," he responds with an evil grin.
Buffy glances into the back seat at the two dead bodies. One was female whose most prominent feature was her purple dyed hair, the other occupant of Spike's backseat was one of Sunnydale's finest. She smiles sweetly at the older vampire, "told ya' you still had it. So what if you have to change tactics for a little while."
"Should've seen 'em slayer. Copper there was all concerned about my welfare, murmuring on about what a shame it was me dead and all at such a young age." He chuckles as Buffy starts up the Desoto, "barely made a whimper as I sucked him dry."
Buffy backs the Desoto up out of the parking lot at breakneck speed. She swerves out into main street cutting vehicles off before she finally drops the car into drive and peels off down the roadway. "Purple puss tried to lift my wallet. Gotta respect somebody who'd steal from the dead," Buffy glances at Spike as she weaves through traffic at speeds that would make a live man shudder. "Alright it piss me off. The sodding little bugger trying to rip me off. Fought like a hellcat while I drank her down her down right slow for that." Scratching his neck at the wound that was rapidly healing there, "bint went and bite me something fierce though."
Buffy laughs at him, "I love you like this," she says pegging the gas pedal. "I hated seeing you all mopey and feeling sorry for yourself," cutting the wheel sharply while she veers through traffic she takes a left hand turn. "I can't wait till your back on your feet again. I don't care if you eat the entire Junior class. With a few exceptions of course."
"Course," Spike agrees. "Don't wanna go and make a snack out of your mates now?"
Buffy glances back at the girl in the backseat as she pulls alongside a dumpster. There was something between the two bodies, "did she drink from you?"
"She had a bit," he answers with a shrug.
"Enough to turn her?"
"All's it takes is drop luv," he replies. "She had a mite more 'n that."
"Man our little family keeps growing and growing tonight," she says hopping out of the car.
"You can't seriously be thinking about keeping her," Spike says disgruntally.
"You turned her," Buffy points out with the patience of a saint.
"She tried to lift my bloody wallet," he adds trying to convince her he wasn't responsible for her.
Buffy shakes her head as she grabs the purple-hair girl. Despite the hair and piercings in varies places she looked young, younger then she was anyway. "Should of thought about that before you let her drink from you."
"Let her? There was no letting her doing any such thing. Bloody chit went and did it all on her own!" He shouts as Buffy drops the girl into the trunk next to Xander. Shaking her head she slams the trunk back down on the two bodies.
"You made her, she's your responsibility," she says pulling the cops body out of the trunk. "It's up to you to take care of her."
"Bloody hell, when did you go and become my sodding mother?" He snarls as she drops the cops body into the dumpster.
Buffy climbs back in gunning the engine, "it's aunt. And right about the time Angel turned me," she replies with a straight face as the Desoto peels out of the alley.
Taking a look at the slayer's beaming face Spike decides its better to let her have her own way then argue with her any longer. "Enjoying yourself pet?" He asks as the car slides around another coner almost coming up on two wheels as she pushes the car for all it was worth.
"Hum-hum," Buffy pures smiling shyly. "Who would've thought being dead would make you feel so alive, that it would be so liberating."
"You never asked me pet," Spike gripes playfully as Buffy takes another coner getting the car to tilt even further without tipping over.
Buffy looks over at him as she barely pays attention to the road ahead her shock clearly evident on her face. "You were trying to kill me! Kinda hard to develope a meaningful dialouge when your busy trying to rip my throat out and lap up my blood."
"True love," he remarks watching her as she races down the road. "You got everything settled with the teacher, pet?"
She stares ahead the joy dropping away from her face for a moment, "yeah... Everything's set. Jenny gonna let everyone know about me and Xander... She's gonna find the de-invitation spell," she glances at him out of the coner of her eye. Judging him had always been a problem before. Not anymore though, not since waking up dead.
She wanted a challange, the rush, the thrill. She was done with the rules she had been forced to live by all her life. If she wanted something she'd take it. If she was hungry she'd eat or feed depending on what she was craving. If something threatened her she'd kill it. If it annoyed her she'd kill it slower
The only hold over to her old way of life were her friends and family. She felt highly protective of them all, human as well as vampire. The thought of the two halves of her family going to war with each other was troubling her greatly.
She had been surprised when Spike had been amaible to her plan. Now that she was a vampire he had no desire to go after her friends, as food they might do in a pinch but as something he found challanging they were far down the ladder. He had actually seemed relieved when he learnt she didn't want to turn them either. Most of though he was simply thrilled with the very idea of tweaking Angel's nose. "I'm still not sure why you're helping me?" She comments keeping her eyes straight ahead but still watching him intently. "Is it just about pissing Angel off or is there something more?"
Spike's smirk widens as he lights a cigarette. Blowing smoke out of his mouth he says, "buggering Angelus over is pretty much the only reason I'd need to help you out pet," as smoke billows around his head. "The fact your not treating me like a sodding invalid is just the icing on the cake."
"There's no need to rub that in my face," she says guiltily.
"Hey," Spike growls cutting her off. "You were fighting for you life. You did what was needed, just like now... No need to be ashamed about protecting what you love pet. We're not all Angelus."
"What did you do to your family and friends?" She finally manages to ask him the question she had wanted to ask him all night. Spike goes quite as he turns his head to stare out the window. Buffy glances over quickly seeing Spike staring pensively into the darkness outside. She decided then and there she didn't like the look on him. "Sorry, didn't mean to... If you don't wanna talk about it you don't have to."
Spike smiles wistfully as he turns to look at her. "Nonsense pet... You'll learn the truth eventually. Might as well be what really happened."
________________________________________________________________________
Up to Me - Jethro Tull
Take you to the cinema
and leave you in a Wimpy Bar --
you tell me that we've gone to far --
come running up to me.
Make the scene at Cousin Jack's --
leave him put the bottles back --
mends his glasses that I cracked --
well that one's up to me.
Buy a silver cloud to ride --
pack the tennis club inside --
trouser cuffs hung far too wide --
well it was up to me.
Tyres down on your bicicle --
your nose feels like an icicle --
the yellow fingered smoky girl
is looking up to me.
Well I'm a common working man
with a half of bitter -- bread and jam
and if it pleases me I'll put one on you man --
when the copper fades away.
The rainy season comes to pass --
the day-glo pirate sinks at last --
and if I laughed a bit to fast.
Well it was up to me.
