Title: Clear
Chapter 12: Always
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: R for slash themes
**WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.
Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.
LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE.
Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.
***
If I never ever say that I love you
Then just remember, girl, I'm saying I do
You can know that from this moment
You are always in my heart
If I never ever say that I love you
Then just remember, girl, I'm saying I do
Love you
You'll be always in my heart
***
Harry was worried sick.
He had been a little annoyed when Draco hadn't appeared early before their first class of the day – Transfiguration – as they had planned. When he hadn't shown up to class at all, Harry had been a little confused. When he still hadn't shown up to any class by lunch, Harry had been beginning to get worried. And when Draco was still absent for afternoon classes and even Slytherin Quidditch practice, which Harry spied on from his tower room window, he was so worried he thought he was going to throw up.
And now, at dinner, when Draco was still missing, Harry was beyond worried. He was completely agonized and scared and the smell of dinner and the thousand voices all clamouring for attention around him did not make the queasy feeling in his stomach feel any better.
If Ron noticed anything strange, then it was thanks to Hermione that no comment was made on it. She was lecturing Ron while quizzing him on a Charms test tomorrow, all the while shooting anxious looks in Harry's direction, but he was too distressed to notice or care.
Pushing his plate away from him, Harry stood up. "I'm full. I think I might go for a walk. Don't wait up for me tonight."
Ron looked up, moving as if to stand as well. "Wait, Harry, what –"
Hermione hit Ron's arm lightly and pulled him back down into his seat. "Ron! Concentrate!" she bellowed. "Your wrist movement is still all wrong. How do you expect to pass tomorrow's test with that atrocious flinging…thing you're doing now?"
Ron turned to her. "Hermione!" he said, exasperated. "Why can't you go and pick on Harry for a change? You're annoying enough as it is!"
Recoiling as if slapped, Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Fine," she sniffed. "Fail. See if I care." And she turned back to her dinner, eating stoically as if nothing happened, ignoring the stares from the rest of Gryffindor table.
Sensing the damage done, but not wanting to do anything about it, Ron made as if to follow Harry, but it was too late. He was gone already. Suddenly furious, Ron rounded in on Hermione. "Look what you've done now, Hermione!" he shouted, looming over her petite figure. "Something's wrong with Harry, but you just wouldn't stop with the talking, would you? Now he's gone, and it's all your fault! He probably had something to tell us, but couldn't, not with you nattering on about Flitwick's test."
Standing as well, the top of Hermione's head scarcely reached Ron's shoulders, but the clear rage in her eyes was enough to make anyone quake in their shoes. "Have you ever thought that maybe it's the fact that Harry didn't want to speak to us about whatever's bothering him? Gods, Ron, you're not smart, but I never thought that even you would be this thick! He clearly wanted to spend time by himself, without us hanging all over him, trying to get him to talk to us, especially with so many people around! If he wanted to talk, he would bloody well wait until HE WANTED TO!"
The sections of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw tables around Hermione fell silent. Only Slytherins were far enough not to hear. Most wore shocked expressions at the words that flowed from their Head Girl's lips, and some were shocked that she was so angry at all. Immediately, whispers drowned out the brief silence with rumours of Hogwart's favourite not-quite couple.
"…well, with Ron Weasley with…all the time…tower…no WONDER Hermione Granger would…"
"…I heard that…Granger…Weasley…lots and lots of girls…"
"…I mean, if MY boyfriend were…dump him…Weasley…behind her back…"
"…no, not even secret…torrid affair with that Ravenclaw, shocking, really…"
Red-faced and embarrassed, Hermione was determined not to let Ron get the better of her, and sat back down to resume eating her dinner, fighting the urge to snap and scream at everyone to just shut up already. Incensed beyond belief at Hermione's outburst, Ron just glared and stomped out of the Great Hall, muttering, "I'm going anyway. I have a date."
The whispers grew, though the other seventh-year Gryffindors dared not speak in Hermione's presence. "Erm," said Seamus.
Hermione fixed her Death Glare on him, challenging him to speak.
Seamus gulped. "Erm," he said again. A long pause, and then, "Hey, don't you all think the chicken tonight tastes especially good?" He gave a shaky smile.
She merely raised an eyebrow and turned back to her food. Meanwhile, the people around her exploded into conversation as Hermione shovelled food into her mouth, ignoring the lot of them.
Damn you, Ron Weasley.
***
Draco sat. Blinked. Sat.
***
Harry was walking in the gardens again, basking in the moonlight, shivering in the cold. Should he go and find Draco using the Map? Or did Draco have a reason to be absent the whole day? Did he not want to see Harry? Did news from home reach him again? He had been at breakfast, though Harry could only remember seeing him there for the first part of it – when had he left?
Shaking his head, and feeling the cold wind billow his robes, Harry decided to return to Gryffindor tower. Sighing, he glanced around the common room as he went through the portrait hole, and was surprised and thankful to find it void of everyone. He looked at the clock on the wall – the hand was pointing towards "time to sleep". Harry blinked. He had no idea he had been outside for so long.
Still, the fire crackled on in its merry way, and Harry decided to sit rather than go to bed. He sighed once more as he sunk into the plush velveteen armchair closest to the fire, and leaned back, watching the shadows dance over the walls and furniture.
"Harry?"
"Eeee!" He shrieked and jumped up, spinning around. "Oh," he said, relieved. "Hermione. What are you doing up so late?" He sat back down again, and Hermione sunk into the sofa that was next to it.
"Oh, nothing much." She was dressed in her nightgown, but had thrown her robes over it and had her cloak draped over an arm – obviously, she was planning to go out. "I heard you come in from my room– I wasn't sleeping yet, so…" She smiled. "You know."
"I know."
Hermione cleared her throat. "Is there anything you want to talk to me about, Harry? I know that Malf – Draco – is on your mind a lot. And he wasn't in class today."
"I know." Harry sighed again. "I just – I don't know."
"Harry?"
"Yes, Hermione?"
"Well." She clasped and unclasped her hands, ducking her head as if shy. "How did you know – about Malfoy, I mean. Or rather, Draco," she corrected herself. "How did you know? I mean – it's a pretty big change, isn't it, going from rivals to…well, to whatever you two have now. And even though you told me this morning that – well, you know – I still." She stopped, and sighed. "I don't know. I just want to understand more, I guess. I don't know. I feel rather stupid talking to you about this, you know?"
"It's not stupid, Hermione. And it's always been this way, since first year. He was always the only one that could draw my attention no matter what I was doing. Remember Cho?" Hermione nodded. "I would remember how I felt when I saw her. But with Draco…it's just different. He's on my mind all the time – he was on my mind all the time before that, as well, just in a different context."
Hermione nodded. "You didn't have to tell me all that, Harry, but I'm glad you did."
"Thanks for not letting Ron ask me about it. Still have to think of a way to tell him, you know? I do hope I hadn't given you any trouble at dinner."
Hermione's smile began to look a bit forced. "Well, we had a bit of a rumble, but nothing for you to worry about."
Harry frowned. "Is he in bed yet?"
Hermione's forced smile began to look rather painful. "Well, no, he's not back yet. He has a date – with a Hufflepuff. Fifth year. Pretty little thing, I suppose, if you have a thing for dumb blondes that giggle too much. Didn't catch her name, though."
"I thought he was with that sixth year Ravenclaw? Or was it that other sixth year Hufflepuff – you know, the brunette?"
"No, those were last week. This week it was with the Ravenclaw Chaser Su Li – you know, seventh year? – and then it was Megan Jones, Hufflepuff, our year as well. Gods, Harry, and you say you're his best friend," she smirked.
"Haha. Very funny, Hermione," Harry grumbled. "Just because I can't keep track of Ron's millions of weekly girlfriends, and you can."
She took her pocket-watch out. "I guess I better be going anyway. I'm meeting someone."
"On a date?" Harry gave a wicked grin.
Hermione actually blushed as she stood up from her seat. "Well, if you must know, yes."
Harry bounced onto his feet as well. "Oh, do tell!"
"Justin Fitch-Fletchley."
"The Hufflepuff?"
"Which other Justin Fitch-Fletchley do you know?"
Harry shrugged. "When did you two…I mean, I never thought that you and…"
Hermione gave a carnal smile that rather frightened Harry. "Have you seen him lately, Harry? Were the Gods nice to him over the summer or what? But then I guess you were too immersed in your…own matters to have noticed how incredibly good-looking he is now? I understand anyway, Malfoy is so much better looking than Justin, but Malfoy has that evil thing going for him, and Justin is just sunny and…"
"You know what, Hermione? Hearing you talk about boys that way is seriously disturbing. I think we should stop. Starting right now."
Hermione smirked, and Harry coughed. "So where are you two meeting?"
"His prefect's dorm."
"WHAT?!"
Both of them whirled around. "Ron!" said Harry. "You're back!"
"Of course I'm back," Ron said crossly. "Hermione, did I just hallucinate, or did you really just say you were going to meet with Fitch-Fletchley in his dorm?"
Hermione lifted her chin. "I am."
"You can't do that!" Ron took a step towards her, hands clenched tightly into fists.
Harry shuffled back a few steps. "Oook," he mumbled. "Not good. Not good at all."
Hermione stepped forward as well. "And why not?" Her voice was quiet. Deadly. Dangerous. And at her words, Ron's flushed face darkened, and the wild gleam in his eyes flickered.
Poor Harry stood off to the side, not knowing what to do, or say, or think, or…or…
"Well…well…because you bloody well can't go meet a boy in his own private dorm!" Ron spluttered.
"And I'm asking you again. Why not?" Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Don't you go round meeting girls in private rooms? Don't you go around the school, meeting with girls in private places that you know teachers do not search at night? Don't you get intimate with those girls in such private places? And what is to stop me from doing the same?"
"Because! You're a girl!"
"And the ones that you fuck aren't?! What makes me different from those girls? And who are you to comment on what I'm doing with my love life or sex life?"
Ron shrunk away slightly at her words, but then his possessiveness washed over him again. "You just can't! Not with that Hufflepuff!"
"Oh? And what about Megan? And Darlene? And Shelia? And those hundreds of other Hufflepuff girls that you've been fucking since sixth year? And let's not even mention the other girls you've been with. There is nothing wrong with Justin! He's smart, he's funny, he's nice, he's good-looking, and he actually treats me like I'm worth something!"
Uh oh…Ron, don't…don't say it!
Ron blew up at the implied meaning that everyone in the room was well aware or. "Worth something?! Do you think he'll treat you like you're worth something when you're going to meet him in his own private dorm? That he'll think you're worth something when you're going dressed like a fucking tuppence whore –"
A resounding slap echoed around the room.
Ron and Hermione stood in the middle of the room, frozen like two statues. She had her left hand still balled into a fist, her right arm crossed over her chest in the curve with her strike. His face was turned to the side by the force, red locks of hair shading his eyes from view, mouth a firm thin line pressed tightly shut. She looked up at him, tears refusing to fall as they filled her eyes. He turned sharply to face her, and the two shared a long, hard look before she turned and picked up her cloak from the sofa.
"Harry, I'm going out. I'm late. Don't wait up for me, I'll be fine."
And then she was gone.
There was silence and complete stillness for several minutes as Ron and Harry just stood there, staring at the exit.
Ron turned to Harry, still angry. "Can you believe her? Going to him dressed in her nightgown, and going to his dorm as well? Just like that?"
Harry, on the other hand, was rather annoyed with Ron's attitude, but tried to restrain himself so he didn't do something stupid as well, such as punch Ron square in the face, and settled instead for shaking his head. "Why don't you just...get to bed?"
Ron stared at him, incredulous. "How can you sleep when she's out there with him?"
Sighing, Harry pushed his glasses up his nose. "Look, if you're here when she gets back, you two will just end up fighting again. I don't want my best friends to fight. Why don't we all sit down and talk about it – calmly – like the seventh years we are – tomorrow?"
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. Look – tomorrow we have the library session for Advanced DA. We'll find a quiet corner in the Restricted Section and have a talk. We could always catch up on the classwork later."
Thinking it through, Ron nodded. "Alright. I'm going to bed, then. It's late. You should sleep, too."
"Yeah, I am."
How am I supposed to sleep like this?
"Good night, Harry." And then Ron was gone, disappearing up the stairs into the dorm.
Prefects' rooms were on the same level as the common room, with their entrances a good way deeper into the tower, and it was towards his room that Harry headed, already deciding to check his location on the Map. He couldn't help himself – waiting any longer to see him was simply too much.
His footsteps became quick patters as he suddenly felt the panicked urge to run. Throwing the door open and then slamming it shut, he went to his trunk, grabbed his Cloak and Map, and then dashed out again, tapping on the Map as he struggled to put on the Cloak.
Music room. Draco was in the music room – their meeting place for their illicit nights together.
And Harry was off, heart pounding, towards him.
I'm coming…hold on, I'm coming…
***
Harry slowed down from his run and paused outside the door to catch his breath. Slowly, carefully, he opened the door and slipped inside, eyes seeking Malfoy immediately. And then – there he was, standing in front of the wide windowsill they had sat on so many times. He looked exactly the same as the first night Harry had walked in on him, but this time, the moon was hiding behind a cloud. Malfoy had his violin with him, and he was cradling it more lovingly than any other time Harry had seen. His fingers balanced the bow gently as he stroked the strings with it, fingertips pressing softly against the fingerboard – just enough pressure for it to sing the most beautiful notes that ever graced Harry's ears. Malfoy's face was hidden in the shadows, but Harry could still see his silver hair glinting – he hadn't tied it back tonight, and several strands fell against the violin, the colour contrast stark between the dark wood and the light hair.
He felt his breath catch – everything was alright. Malfoy was here, he was here with his violin, he was still playing beautiful music that saddened and delighted Harry at the same time, everything was as it should be. Malfoy probably had been absent because of his problem with the Dark Mark, but now that he was here, with his violin, everything wrong would be right again.
At least, that was what Harry thought until the clouds shifted and moonlight pierced the room, illuminating the room with its deathly pale light, reflecting the tears that fell from Draco's closed eyes. The sudden moment caused Harry to notice the striking similarity and difference between now and the first time. It was as if tonight was a sick replication of their first meeting.
Flinging his Invisibility Cloak off him, not even caring when it fell to the dirty floor, he dashed towards Draco, stopping himself from reaching out. Draco opened his eyes and Harry panicked even more at the unreadable expression in them. Carefully, tenderly, he laid his violin down onto the windowsill before turning and flinging himself onto Harry, burying his face into strong, steady shoulders.
"What? What, what, Draco, tell me what?" Harry held onto Draco tightly, scared. "Is it the thing with the Mark? Please, Draco, talk to me, what's wrong?" And then he thought himself incredibly stupid that he hadn't remembered. "Is it the letter you got today? Is it from your father? What is it? Please, please, tell me, you're scaring me." His voice rose in pitch as he spoke, and his grip on Draco tightened.
"No," came Draco's voice, eerily calm and cool. Harry could feel moist breath on his shoulder, and could feel Draco's lips against his robes. "Not the Mark. Not my father. It was from my mother."
"What is it, then? Please, tell me."
"Lord Nemberfaul. He'd been visiting – said he'd stay for my birthday party and the thing. He was mentioned in my father's letter yesterday. One of the Dark Lord's inner people. Has one daughter."
A part of Harry's brain knew where this was going, but refused to acknowledge it until Draco said the words.
"My mother has been holding negotiations. They want us to marry by New Year's. She'll be eight years older than me after my birthday – but it's a good match in their eyes. Already a – a Death Eater. Good family, and with a title. Which I, too, will get once I marry her."
"But – how – this New Year's? How – I don't understand…"
"They want me to leave Hogwarts after this term…Harry, they're making me leave. The Dark Lord is planning something big – and that is why they want me to get the Mark and to marry. The Dark Lord likes having married couples – everyone in the Inner Circle is coupled. And he hands out missions in pairs. And…after I turn seventeen…I'll be old enough to work for him, to have a family…"
Harry could only stay silent, fingering the strands of Malfoy's hair. Silence pounded against their ear drums until Malfoy spoke again.
"Do you…do you want me to…to be the bad guy again, Potter?" Draco's connotation changed suddenly and Harry knew he was trying to make light of whatever he was going to say.
"I don't understand."
"I mean, Potter, do you want me to break this off now? It's only been a day – but I will do it. And better I do it now than if I do it later. After all – it's only been a day," he said again.
"I don't know."
Draco pulled away harshly and Harry stumbled a bit from the force. "How can you not know, Potter?" he asked, scowling. "You can't not know. Give me an answer."
Harry sighed. "I really don't know. What about you? What do you want?"
"I want us, Potter – there, I said it. And it's no secret that since I asked you out that I like you as well. I'm not ashamed of saying it, Potter. And I want to know what you want. As in, is it worth it. Are we worth it."
"I…" Harry sighed again. "Look, Draco, I don't know how long we'll last. I don't know about the future. But I will say that right now, I do want to be with you. We have…we have until Christmas."
"Which is a month away, Potter. You know what I'm saying is right. Until Christmas…who knows? If we have to break, then I'd rather break it off now before I fall deeper into this. Unless I can be saved – which I highly doubt – the ritual and the marriage will happen."
"You will be saved! I won't let anything happen to you! Dumbledore will –"
"Dumbledore will nothing, Potter. Don't you see it? I am a Slytherin, and a Malfoy at that. Don't you see how Dumbledore always seems to be less than caring of us than the rest of the entire school? We have a bad reputation – there's no use denying it – because some of us do come from Death Eater families and everyone in the House is a pureblood. If Dumbledore really wanted to stop Slytherin from being the House of Young Death Eaters, then he should have done something more active than just sitting here and watching us being outcast from the entire school, being beaten down for what we are – it's not a crime to have Slytherin traits, and yet here, in Hogwarts, it is. It's no surprise to me how many of my housemates turn to the Dark side, if only to gain the acceptance they have been deprived of here!" Draco ended his short tirade, eyes shining with unshed tears, cheeks completely drained of colour, hands shaking even as they were curled into fists clenched tightly at his sides.
Complete and utter silence. The two of them stared at each other, Draco breathing heavily as if short of breath, Harry still, like a statue.
"If Dumbledore doesn't, then I'll save you instead. I'll be your hero instead of the world's. I'll be The Boy Who Lived For You. And I won't let anything happen to you." Harry took a step forward, and grabbed onto the rich fabric of Malfoy's robes. "I won't."
Draco's silver eyes glinted in the moonlight before the clouds shadowed his face once more. Yet, Harry could still feel those eyes boring into his, searching, wondering, knowing, before Draco collapsed onto him again for the second time that night, holding him, trying to bring him closer as he gave a soft whisper directly into Harry's ear. "Then I will never let you go."
DOES THIS ENDING SEEM LIKE A HORRIBLE ANTI-CLIMAX TO YOU?!?!?!?!
To Be Continued!!!
Notes: Much thanks to the reviewers!!!! Thank you just so, so, SO much! Much thanks to May, the very evil bunny, ClarKeRaVen – that was one of the sweetest things anyone's ever said to me! I hate the thought of letting people down with a bad chapter…but sometimes the chapters need to be written…so we can all move on with the story, maybe?, alistar, Evil Laughter, efa, Summer, Anne Phoenix, Lady Malfoy II, someone who's too lazy to login, Heavens_beyond, GlacierFlame, bondagechic, IncubusSuccubus, in-a-crushd-tin-box, Patchfire, Marionette, Gwendolyn Malfoy, Lunadeath – schoolwork beckons, but this was as fast as I could muster, mellony melody, Sera Luanma, J (BleedingEros), Moonblade, Sienna of Lothlorien, Zany, pottergirl, Mistic, random reviewer, ILLk, Hoshiko-Malfoy, Little Bunny Fu Fu, scythefire, Kiren, vanityfair, AshFarley, phoenixwhitebirch, Sineadluv, K.C., Marian of the Faeries, Aurora, Tanya Maxwell, Reveuse, Avalon Princess, yiota, chrisseee67, Rosetta, deadredsocks, JadeDragon – hope this chapter was good enough…hehe…I'm not much for thinking up evil things, but I try…lol, I'm glad you liked the Hermione-Harry interlude, thanks for reading!, Chiaki Dark, Jade_Jewel, Chireel, Scap, TanisaFyre – LOL! the anger management is definitely going to be an issue with Draco, I should expect…keep on reading!, Jinsei, The Intellectual Dirtbag, Ghaleonsama, Baby Ty Ty, AmZ – I hope you liked this chapter, even though it is decidedly less sexy than the last, mistykasumi, Morien Alexander, Jubilee – I wonder if this freaky thing is freaky enough?, amethyst, Portuguese-Girl, IamtheLizardQueen, Green-and-Silver, Bizzle, Anna – It's very nice of you to offer, but I have a beta already…I acquired one immediately after I was informed of the vodka incident…it is probably one of the most embarrassing experiences in my short career as a fic writer...and that's saying a lot!, jay – thank you for reading!, Tsuyuno – wow! your reviews are very kind…I WOULD email you, except that I usually forget to do so after the first time…sorry!, nightwing – thank you! I love writing…and plan to keep at it!, Shades – thank you for reading! more coming up…soon, I hope…if school decides to stop being evil!, Bubblie Bunnie – you're so cute!! thank you for reading and for your review!, FatalDreams-Seducer of Fantasy – hmmm…I spent all biology class thinking of a evil thing to happen to Malfoy…hope you enjoy the rest of the story to come!
