Title: Clear - Unmistakeably Clear
Part 2-Chapter 4: Portrait
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: R for slash themes
**WARNING**: THIS STORY CONTAINS SLASH THEMES – WHICH MEANS HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO MALE CHARACTERS. YOU ARE ADVISED TO LEAVE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS.
Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story do not belong to me, but to the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. This is all FICTION; none of it is true. No profit was made from this story. I bear no responsibility for anything you may claim from this story, you have been warned.
LAST WARNING. SLASH. HOMOSEXUALITY. LEAVE IF YOU DON'T LIKE.
Plagiarism is a crime. But I'm sure you know that already.
***
It is a fact of life that when it comes to your mind that you don't want to see a particular person, they then materialise before your very eyes. Such was the case on the Wednesday afternoon during the second week back in school.
Harry stopped in his tracks, heart caught in his throat. Draco stood not three metres away, Crabbe and Goyle on either side of him, and they faced Harry, who had Ron and Hermione beside him. To the common spectator, it looked as if the trios were standing off against each other. And perhaps they were…
They stood, staring blankly, until Draco took one step forward, after which Harry steeled his nerves and stepped forward as well. It was in this manner that they slowly travelled the distance between them and came face to face. When Draco brushed by without a word, Crabbe and Goyle pushing the Gryffindor Trio aside, Harry's face twisted into a frown and Hermione put a hand to his shoulder, Ron tilting his head in a quizzical look.
"Harry –" she began, but was cut off by Ron.
"What was that all about?" he said, and Harry frowned harder, corners of his lips turned distinctly down.
"I don't know," Harry muttered tersely. "But I'm starting to get frustrated with him. I try – I try so hard, and it's like it doesn't even matter to him anymore. It's like I don't matter to him anymore. Or perhaps I don't."
"Don't say that…" Ron said uncomfortably.
"But it's true!" Harry exploded, and the two of them could see the anger in his eyes. "I really do try – I am trying to make up for my mistake – and it was only that one time! One time! And I wouldn't have done it if we hadn't been having problems. I'm not blaming him – I really am not, but I don't see why he has to get so caught up about the whole thing! I'm sorry, and I'm trying so hard to make up for it – and why can't he see that?! Why can't he see that and forgive me? Why can't he just forgive me so I can just go back to loving him? I just want to love him." Harry dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, embarrassed at his outburst, and his glasses clattered to the floor at his feet. Luckily, the rest of the school was still eating their lunch in the Great Hall, and weren't due to be out for another half hour.
"Harry…Draco was always…difficult," Hermione said, unsure of what to say, as Ron bent down to scoop up the spectacles.
"I just want to love him again, and he just won't let me," was the pitiful whine.
"Harry – you know how stubborn Malfoy is. Maybe he just needs time to cool down?" Ron offered the glasses to Harry, and he took them thankfully, wiping them roughly with his sleeve and putting them on gently.
"Maybe – but haven't I given him long enough? It's been almost a month since it happened, you know." Harry growled, low in his throat.
Hermione only gave him a troubled look as Ron pinched her elbow lightly in some sort of secret signal.
---
"Draco."
"Hermione."
"I must speak with you."
"Must it be now?" Draco shifted, gaze fixed on the door. They had just finished their Prefect meeting, and he wanted to leave before Hermione could do something like this. Unfortunately…
"Yes."
Draco sighed, and sat down again.
Hermione watched him carefully for a few seconds, and then spoke. "What on earth is going on between you and Harry?"
Draco sighed again, and refused to look at or answer her.
"Draco," she said in a warning tone. "I don't mean to meddle, but it's gotten to the point where I can't not meddle."
"I know," he mumbled.
"He's getting angry with you."
"Oh?" Draco still wouldn't look at her. "I suppose he has the right to. And I suppose it is only right to."
"So you know why?" Hermione lifted a brow.
"Of course I do!" he retorted, rather angrily, but then softened at the motherly look she gave him. "I caused it – of course I do," he repeated.
"Then why? Why won't you forgive him? Do you know what he said to me earlier today – when you brushed by him so carelessly?"
"Yes," was the unexpected answer.
Hermione stopped saying whatever she was going to say next, and just stared, mouth open.
"I turned the corner, but then I stopped. I had to – I wanted to – I needed to…listen. To know. And…and…I heard – I heard, and." Fuck, he was not going to cry in front of a girl! In front of Granger, no less!
"Draco…I understand. Kind of. I understand where you're coming from – if it were me, I'm not so sure I'd even be considering forgiving my boyfriend for…you know."
"Well, there's that. And then there's…something else."
Hermione waited expectantly.
"I…" Draco stood up and moved several paces away from Hermione's seat, back turned towards her. "He's so much better than me, you know? No one could ever match up to him, but he's so much better than me. This is the most clichéd thing you'll ever, ever, hear from me, and I'm only saying it once, but…he deserves better. I'm…broken."
"You are not!" Hermione said indignantly. "How could you possibly say or think that?"
"But it's true!" Draco insisted. "He is. And I am. In so much more ways that he knows. I have. My past. And he has his future, and the two just don't go together."
"Well how would you know?"
"I just do." He turned and looked deep into Hermione's eyes, neither of them blinking.
She looked away first, lowering her lashes and leaning over to pick up her book bag, speaking in a soft voice that Draco strained to hear. "Damn you, Draco, for making this so difficult for Harry. And take care – because I'm worried at how much you're hurting."
And then she left.
And then Draco sat back down in his chair, sideways, facing the wall.
And dipped his head and let the slow, silent tears come once more.
---
"You've been crying again," Goyle said accusingly. Crabbe grunted in agreement, busy polishing off an enormous ham sandwich the size of Booboo.
"Granger spoke with me just now."
"Ah." There was only one reason why she would speak with Draco only to have him return in tears.
"How're you holding up?" Goyle asked. "And wait – this might make you feel better." He fished Booboo out of his pocket. "I put 'im in here so the other Slytherins wouldn't see."
Draco nodded, looking strangely tired and haggard. "Put my baby back. We're going to my room."
Goyle nodded, tucking a sleeping Booboo back into his pocket, Crabbe standing to brush crumbs off his robes.
They were silent until they were inside Draco's private room, with silencing charms and locking charms on both entrances.
"Is there something in particular you want to talk about?" Goyle asked, setting Booboo down on Draco's bed and taking a seat on the sofa next to Crabbe.
"No. Just wanted to spend some time with you two." Draco smiled unconvincingly. "How are your households doing? And what of your parents? Are they well? They're to have their trials soon, I hear. It's been all over the press, you know."
"And you've got the fool of a Headmaster," said Goyle. "But yeah. We're doing alright, I guess. Like I said, you know, there was a lot of paperwork. And it's not like my parents were home much anyway, so things got normal pretty quick. It was only at Vince's house that we had problems – the staff were in a mess, thinking they were going to be arrested and all, and we needed quite a long time to get things settled again."
Draco bowed his head, not looking either of them in the eye as he played with Booboo's ears while his bear slept on. "I'm sorry, Greg, Vince. Everything was…it's my entire fault," he said.
Crabbe rolled his eyes and shivered. "Stop that, Draco. It sounds all weird coming from you."
Draco rolled his eyes as well. "Yes, Crabbe."
"And no it wasn't."
"What wasn't?" Goyle asked, lost already.
"His fault."
"For what?"
"Dunno. It."
"It?"
"It."
"It, it?"
"It."
"Like, it, it-it?"
"You know. It."
"Like it-it?"
"Like, it."
"It?"
"It."
"O-oh. It."
"Alright," Draco said, raising an eyebrow at the two of them. "I'm getting a headache from all this 'it' crap. I meant what happened at Christmas."
"We knew," Goyle said innocently.
"We did?" Crabbe asked, and only received a jab in his side for a reply.
Draco just leaned back onto his bed and swung his legs carelessly as they hung off the side. They sat in silence for a while, each mulling in their own thoughts. And then Crabbe spoke. "You miss him."
Silence, and light breathing from Goyle, who sat slightly forward in his seat, turning back to look at Crabbe with an unreadable look.
"You do," Crabbe continued, voice even, tone steady, carefully blank. "I can hear it in your sighs; I can see it in your smiles. Your tears speak most loudly of all, and they tell me stories of pain and despair. You call me a poet – an artist – and as both, I see the colours of your love for him, brighter than the sun that we hide from, and all encompassing, like the night sky. It is feeding on you in ugly shades of hurt and betrayal, and you are diminishing – much as one would burn when they try to hide the sun deep within themselves. You cannot contain it within, and it will not be contained, for your feelings towards him are too strong for even your will of iron and nerves of steel."
Draco had sat up slowly during Crabbe's short speech, eyes wide.
"I know he loves you still. I can see it in his eyes; I can read it in his glances. His cries echo in your heart, and they scream to you of love and longing. His love could destroy existence as we know it with one word from you. Could you not see how his heart is bleeding great rivers; he is drowning in their merciless waves. He is the ocean, ever giving to you only, and you are the desert, only desiring from him ever." Thus ended Crabbe's monologue.
They stared at him, silence ringing in the room, until Crabbe grunted and sat up. "Want more food," he grumbled, and stalked off to terrorise the house-elves.
Goyle turned to Draco. "Did you hear that?" he asked.
"I thought I was imagining it," said Draco.
"We should have recorded what he said."
"Should have."
"I wonder if he'll remember what he said when he comes back."
"I wonder if he'll remember he spoke at all."
And then the two of them looked at each other, Draco's sad smile a shadow of itself, and Goyle's wide grin as sunny as ever.
---
Potter was miserable.
There was no doubt about it – he was moping, going around with a constant shadow hanging over him, an unseen weight dragging down his shoulders, an unhappiness that caused his lips to frown.
Crabbe and Goyle shared a Look, before they cornered him below a stone staircase. "Oi, Potter," said Goyle, looking particularly menacing.
Potter's head snapped up, eyes wide with hope that Draco was there with them, but the light dimmed when he saw that there were only two there. "Yes?"
"We need to talk to you." Goyle moved a bit closer, followed by Crabbe, and Potter backed further into the corner.
"Oh?" he said, trying to hide his nervousness.
"About Draco."
The colour drained from his face, and both of them correctly guessed that he was thinking oh God they're going to kill me because I've hurt him again and oh my god I'm evil I'm evil I deserve to die for what I've done and now they're here to do it
"We know what you did to him before we came back," said Goyle.
"So that's what we need to talk about."
"Oh?" Potter said again.
Goyle sighed. "He's making himself ill again, you know."
"And you're here to
say it's my fault?"
Goyle looked puzzled. "No. We're here to ask you to help him."
Potter turned his head away, and Crabbe knew it was to hide the tears. "How am I to help him when he turns me away so?"
"Love him, Potter," Crabbe said, and Potter looked up at those words, a frown burrowing into his brow.
"How?" he asked again. "How am I to love him?"
Goyle shrugged. "Are you going to tell me you're going to give up?"
"Never!" was the fierce answer.
"Then what are you doing now?" Crabbe asked, and Potter hung his head once more.
---
"Booboo, what are you doing?"
"Polishing violin, Day-co!" Booboo said happily, rubbing a cloth vigorously against the gleaming wood of Draco's violin.
"Dare I ask why?" Draco raised an eyebrow.
"Cause Booboo long time no hear!"
"Oh."
"Booboo miss violin. Is Day-co not play violin because of Pottie?"
"No," Draco said stubbornly – too stubbornly for it to be anything but a 'yes'.
"Pea-s, Moomoo?" Booboo asked, using Draco's pet name.
Draco turned away from his beloved bear and put an arm up to his eyes. "I can't, Booboo," he said, trying to stop the trembling in his voice. "My music isn't mine anymore. He took it away from me; made a part of it his. I can't – not right now, my baby."
Booboo waddled over to the side of the bed and tugged on Draco's robes before crawling up to his shoulder and smoothing back a few strands of hair. "'Tis ookie," it said.
Draco's arm remained over his eyes, and he stretched out his other hand to his shoulder for Booboo to sit on and cradled him tightly to his chest. A splash of something wet and warm, but at the same time cold, landed on top of Booboo's head and made it look up in surprise. Draco was – crying! Its beloved Moomoo was crying!
"Dun cry, Moomoo!" Booboo wailed, clutching at Draco.
"I'm not crying," he said, voice wobbling, as more tears splashed onto Booboo's fuzzy brown fur. "Bon nuit, Booboo," he said, "Je t'aime." And Booboo instantly stilled, bright dark eyes going blank. He carefully placed his bear onto his pillow, and fished around in his robes for the bottle.
Oh, how he hurt. But this could make it go away, even momentarily, and that was enough to satisfy Draco as he drank hungrily, the amber rivulets escaping the corners of his lips and trailing down his jaw and neck to spill onto his robes.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, this was his heaven and his hell, his ruin and his saviour, and all he could do was thank the Gods that Booboo was sleeping and that Crabbe and Goyle had already announced their absence for the afternoon. Because no one would walk in on him, and then he wouldn't have to stop anyone from walking out with his little secret.
Because he'd rather die than have it taken away from him.
To Be Continued!
Notes: So, yes, sorry for the short chapter. It's a bit waffle-y, I agree, but it needed to be written, I think, because it serves as a link between what happened and the next chapter, which will, hopefully, have a bit more action in it. Heehee.
Next chapter: Potions class because "the world happens in Potions"…and not-so-much-fun-for-Draco-and-Harry galore!
Thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed Part 1, and also to: Akemi, mistykasumi – Thank you for reading! I'll definitely have a happy ending – I live for happy endings! Thank you very very much for your review!, Aurora, Callisto Firestarter – Thank you very very much for your review! I'm glad you like Crabbe and Goyle – and hope you continue reading this story and that you enjoyed this chapter!, Tsuyuno – Snacks are good, even kindergarten ones. I still have to get the piccie scanned…I haven't been at school for the past two weeks because I've been really ill and completely bedridden, so. Yes. Hehe. Hope this chapter answered a bit about the absence of music for the time being. I'm *so* partial to the piano and violin it's unbelievable. I think it's because if you play it, then you get attached. Thank you very much for your review, and hope you enjoyed this chapter too!!!, Playboy Bunny, chrisseee667 – Thank you for your review! Hope you like this chapter!, havelock, Mi Su, Anna, Jezebel, Shikala, crimson nightmare – Your whole review came through this time! :D Biology does strange things to me too. Like, you know. Hehe. I'm so glad you like how I worked their friends into this little story – and I agree…it doesn't really seem probable that their friends (especially Harry's) would just leave him to be with Draco all the time without knowing, you know? Thank you very much for reading and reviewing, and I hope that this chapter was good enough, too!, Milady69, Queen Vegeta, mystic-flower – Hope this chapter came soon enough, and thank you for reviewing!!!!!, Jubilee – LOLOLOL. Yes, you got me to update. And I've been feeling the urge to write more ever since, so thank you! I'm glad you like my interpretation of Crabbe and Goyle. I must have said it before, but I'll say it again…they can't be THAT stupid to be in Slytherin. You have to be sly. And cunning. To a certain extent, hehe. I myself have issues with cheating, so this story is actually very interesting to work with. I hope you like this chapter, and thank you for reading and reviewing!, S. Wing – Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter, too, and all the angst that's to come :), Yoink Daydurfurits – LOL. I'll be ending it soon, I think. Maybe. But then methinks it's about time for some Harry-angst, you know? But anyhoo…*goes into hiding* Thank you for reading!!!!, Bunny-kuo, Amy-la, Cheyseri@aol.com, TanisaFyre – Harry's a bit…thick. Dense. Very much a guy, LOL! Draco's rather. Depressed, and, like. You know :) Thank you so so much for your review, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!!!! , Liliku, real bluefalls dark.ness, queenofgondor21 – Draco has almost forgiven Harry…but not quite! And then there's always the 'but'…Thank you so much for your review, and hope you like this chapter!!!, The Insane Floo Pot – I'm so sorry you had to wait for the last chapter! I absolutely promise it won't take so long again! I have the same dilemma as you about Draco and Harry…Thank you for your review, and hope you enjoy this chapter just as much!, GLow, Silmarien, throbbing-squirm - *squeals* don't die!! Thank you very much for your review! I absolutely *promise* a happy ending! Hope you enjoyed this chapter too!, Anita Blake, Klea, Aurenne – I'm so glad you liked the last chapter! Thank you very very much for your review, and hope you enjoy this chapter too!, Lia Santana – Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm glad you like the angst – and I completely agree…H/D doesn't quite seem complete without just the tiniest bit of angst. Just the tiniest bit, lol. I'm glad you like Booboo, and hope you continue to like this story!, I Am The Bunny Slayer – I'm so happy you like C&G even though you usually don't!! That didn't sound so stupid in my head, LOL! We have Seinfield here, but I don't watch it because I usually go to my tutor's during that time. *hides* Yes, I'm evil. *grins* But it's fun!!! Hope you like this chapter, and thank you very very much for your review!, jeannie81, xing@fanfiction.net (Anonymous reviewers), TheUnknownJedi, Alura, Marie McBride, Ladyblondhair, coriander – Thank you for your review! Happy endings are definitely in the future. Hope you keep reading, thank you again for reviewing!, elfee, Lotta, Dracavia – Thank you for your wonderful review! I think I like the same type of stories as you do – angsty, but with happy endings. Makes me into mush, heehee. I'm so so glad that 'Clear' made it to your favourites list, THANK YOU!!!!!, antarianprincess – Thank you for your review! I agree, I think Harry will have to…prove himself, shall we say? Hehehe. I hope this chapter was to your liking, as was the last. Thank you for reading, and thank you very much for your review!, YG – Thank you for your review! I think the next part will definitely reveal what Draco's been doing to himself. It's not much, but it's bad enough :) Hope you like this chapter!, Krystal – I think that getting together and putting so much trust in Harry was a really big step for Draco, and so the betrayal cut him more deeply than other relationships might have. He'll have to work through his own insecurities and trust issues first. I think. Maybe, hehe. Thank you for your review!, Kitori – LOL. I'm glad you like my Crabbe and Goyle. I'll be revealing what Draco's drinking next chapter – I'm working on it already. Thanks for reading!, Sunday – I'm so glad that you like my story :) Thank you very very much for reading and giving this little fic a chance, and hope you like this chapter, too!, Anne Phoenix – I'm glad you're honest about Booboo, and I've seriously biting my hand in hopes that this chapter is good enough for the readers…Thank you for your review!, frizzy – Thank you so much for your review! Hope you like this chapter!, Tasha – Longer…will work on that…And yes, Draco is actually French. I gather that from his name, and a bit from his looks, heehee. Besides, him speaking French seems pretty sexy, LOL.
