And Fade Out Prologue: Getting Slammed
Book 01 of Angelus Aequus
By Moon Faery & Super Saiyan Alexin
Rating: R
Series: DBZ/GW/R½/TM!/CCS/SM/CB/Fake/FB/ST/GTO
Genre: Epic/Humor
Pairings: @.@ Don't Ask; Just Read. (This part: VxGkxV; BxPxB)
Spoilers: Plenty.
Warnings: Yaoi; Yuri; Het; AU; OOT; IT; OOC; OC; Shounen Ai; Shoujo Ai; Normal Ai; Lemon; Violence; Humor; Pervy-ness; Blood & Other Bodily Fluids; Under Age insert felony here; Mad Dragons AHOY!; Language
Archived: Moon Faery's Garden & The Kiss of Death
Disclaimer: A statement created solely to save one's ass from becoming lawn for the proverbial legal mower. We do not own SHIT! All materials are used without the permission of their various owners. However, this story line, original characters and plot are OURS. (Holds fic close.) Grrrr....
NOTE: The full, unedited version of the Arc as well as various notes on the story and characters can be found at either of the above websites. This version was edited for adult content so as to make it suitable for FF.N. Ugh. I wouldn't have done it, but it's really the only place available to both the authors where the story can recieve decent feedback.
So far, there have been no changes.
***
"Hey, Vegeta?" Goku wrapped his tail around his mate and pulled him closer. "Do you want to go visit the guys today?"
Vegeta grunted and continued slathering an amazing amount of peantut butter on a horizontally-siced loaf of bread. "The reunion's not for over a week Kakkarott. You can wait to see the freak and his friends until then."
The Saiya-jin saviour of the world pouted. "Vegeta, I've asked you not to call Krillin that."
The Prince added pickles, lettuce and slices of rabbit meat to the sandwich, wondering what world-shattering event was going to happen next. Drama seemed to follow his mate around, and so far the only fore-warning Vegeta had found that worked was his own cravings for the wierdest food in creation that inevitably appeared just before the world ended in some dramatic and violent fashion. He hadn't missed the cravings during the century Goku had been missing. "I was refering to the Turtle Idiot." He wondered if mayonaise would fit the monster he was creating. A twinge in his gut worse than he had ever gotten from Cell decided that yes, mayo would be appropriate, and he had probably better track down some pickled pigs feet while he was at it.
That settled it; Terra was doomed. Maybe there was time to make sure the lawyers went first.
"Oh." Goku paused to think about that, finding to his dismay that he really couldn't argue with the description. "That's all right then."
"Daaaaaaaaadddddy!"
"Graaaaaaaaandpaaaaaaaa!"
Vegeta had just enough time to shove his sandwhich into a cabinet before he was tackled by a flying bundle of squirming blue hair. Goku found himself in a similar situation as Pan attached herself to her Grandfather.
"She's being selfish!" Bra and Pan shouted, pointing at each other accusingly. Despite having already passed their one-hundreth birthdays, both halflings still acted like children.
Goku patted his Granddaughter's back soothingly. "What's wrong?"
"She won't let me be on top!" Pan growled, glaring at her mate wickedly.
Bra held up a long, phalic-shaped objects with several straps waving from it and shook it violently. "I'm sick of being on bottom! It's your turn!" Her dark blue tail lashed behind her as she spoke, emphasising her words. "It's your turn to be tied down!"
Vegeta used a tissue to staunch his nosebleed before it became too noticable. "Why are you two telling this to us?" he asked, trying to keep his hands from shaking. It wouldn't do to kill his baby girl's mate just years after he had promised to only maim her a little.
"We want you two to decide," Pan answered quickly. "Just tell us which one of you is going to be on top tonight, and we'll figure it out that way."
There was no way Goku was going to be able to blush more, but he gave it a herculean effort. How did one tell one's granddaughter that you and her step-grandfather usually had sex at least three times a night, and almost never in the same position twice in a row? "I... Uh..."
The Crown Prince of the Saiya-jin wasn't doing much better, his paler skin allowing him to turn a much more feminine shade of red than Goku. Firmly, he unwrapped his daughter's arms from around his torso and picked her up the the scruff of the neck, giving her a good shake. "That's none of your business. Kakkarott." Vegeta gave his mate a significant look as he carried his child outside.
Goku gave Vegeta a reluctant glance, but pried Pan off of him and followed his husband.
"I expect you two to have solved this by the time you get back from New York," Vegeta informed Bra just before he tossed her in the air and punted her off towards the horizon. Pan followed close behind as Goku gave her a slightly more-humane throw.
"What kind of perverts do they think we are?" Vegeta ranted, shading his eyes to watch as the two demi-Saiya-jin vanished into the clouds. Goku shrugged, watching something different.
"Veggi-chan?"
"I told you not to call me that Kakkarott."
Naturally, the taller man ignnored him. "Are we expecting guests?"
"No."
"Then who are they?"
Vegeta had just enough time focus his eyes on the humanoid-shaped figures that were hurtling themselves at him before he was tackled to the ground by the one in the lead. The second being was only a few steps behind, latching onto Goku, who didn't fare any better than his mate in remaining upright.
"Baby brother!"
Damnit. He was never going to get to eat his sandwich now.
***
Fog rolled through the landscape, obscuring anything more than a few feet away. In the fog, mysterious things moved, making their prescence known with the low moans and keening wails of the damned.
Damn it all! I lost again!
Sailor Pluto patted Destiny's shoulder consolingly as he ripped up his betting ticket. You would think Destiny would know better than to bet that Goku and Vegeta would get a full decade together before something catastrophic occurred, but even all-knowing Conceptulaizations of Destiny could be wrong now and then.
"Don't worry," she tried saying soothingly. It came out a little gleeful since she had just made a killing on his loss. "I'm sure you'll get the next one. What are the chances that Heiiro will make it back home and Shi-chan will loose it?"
I suppose you're right. Straightening up, Destiny smoothed down the front of his robe and appeared to take a deep breath, though there were no breathing noises accompanying the motion. It can't all be bad.
She smiled maternally, patting his shoulder one last time. "That's the spirit! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an announcement to make." Destiny waved her on, moving over to one of the screens that was hovering in the middle of nothingness to observe the changing odds.
The mists flowed away as she moved over to a raised platform that stood just in front of a gigantic screen. The crowds of people (and non-people) quieted as she climbed the steps and picked up a microphone. "Event One has been decided! The families are reunited. Please wait until the end of the Series to collect your winnings. Please place your bets for the second Event now."
It was good to be the Guardian of Time.
