Author's Note: Stole some lines from S7 Ep.15 "Get it Done". I'll try to update as often as possible, a few times a week if my schedule's not too demanding. Comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks and enjoy!

***

The world slowly became bright. Unnaturally bright. As if lit by a hundred hot bulbs of glowing artificial light. Buffy blinked, her pupils not yet adjusted to the brilliance, letting the world swim groggily back into focus. Heckuva candle that was. She felt like she had been bashed against a brick wall. Multiple times. She rubbed her temples, willing the impending headache to go away when a strangely familiar voice with a smooth British accent interrupted her thoughts.

"I vote dead. The slayer's counting on you, Willow. Get cracking on that portal, and don't be stingy with the mojo. The demon's mine."

"Hate to say it, 'Big Bad,' but you look like you can barely stand. We're trained. And the only thing we know for sure about this demon is it kicked your ass," a brash girl's voice cut in scornfully.

Where am I?

Buffy shook her head and looked around her. I can see. That's a plus. She was still in her living room, or more precisely half of her living room since the entire front wall and the ceiling were cheerfully absent. In their place, there were strings of stage lights and a row of strange people with cameras and stacks of papers…and was that a demon she just saw wander through the door? Can you say 'Invasion of Privacy'? She thought, glancing around in befuddlement. Not to mention the horde of unfamiliar teenage girls infesting her couch and her floor. And there, squeezed between the masses of teenage faces were Giles, Willow, Xander, and--

She gasped.

That sardonic British voice…she should've known.

Spike.

No time for questions, dust now, then ask. After all, this could be her only chance to get him. Her slayer instincts kicked in and she dashed forward, expertly de-legging a nearby chair, and lunged at the black-clad vampire –

"CUT!"

Caught off guard, the Slayer dropped her makeshift stake and spun around searching for the speaker.

A man of medium height and curly brown hair strolled angrily into her half-living room.

 "Sarah! What the hell are you doing? You aren't even supposed to be in this scene! Demon. Blue Portal. Over there remember?!" He made frantic waving motions with his hands and raised his eyebrows at her. "What are you waiting for? Get off the set!"

She blinked. Who the heck was this? And who is he yelling at? …And what's with these girls? Whatever, it doesn't matter right now. Spike's the first priority. Just how did he get into my house anyway? Not like I invited him in…must be 'cause of the whole half-house mess. Guess he doesn't need an invitation to come through an open wall.

"I'm sorry sir, you're in grave danger right now, please excuse me for a moment." She replied in her best I'm-a-flight-attendent-and-the-airplane-is-crashing-please-remain-calm-voice. She turned and ran at the vampire who was, to her astonishment, steadily backing away.

"Um…Sarah…you okay there?"

Where did his British accent go? And why is everyone calling me Sarah? She wondered idly, searching for a replacement stake. Ah, there! Perfect, a real stake.

"Jeez, this stupid pre-fight-word-clash is starting to get old. Let's just get it over with." Buffy said, grabbing the stake and advancing on him threateningly. She grinned in spite of herself at the look of abject horror on Spike's pale face.

"Okay, maybe just a few witty insults. You're gonna be one sorry blood-sucker once I figure out what you did to my house and my friends." She paused and rubbed her chin in mock thoughtfulness. "Actually, you won't be, 'cause I think I'm just gonna kill you now."

With that, she dove at him, easily pinning him to the ground, her stake cocked back tightly in her fist. He didn't even put up a struggle, but she didn't stop to wonder why. The sharp wooden stick came down in a flashing arc, solidly striking the panicked vampire full in the chest.

Spike's jaw dropped in shock.

Buffy grinned triumphantly. "Not so tough now are ya?"

Spike stared back at her and blinked.

Buffy smiled patiently, waiting for him to turn to dust.

Spike coughed.

Buffy slowly pulled her hand back and furrowed her brow in puzzlement.

"Okay, why are you not dead? Well, technically you are dead, but I mean…dead dead."

The Slayer didn't wait for a response. Instead, she shrugged and proceeded to pound the stake into the vampire repeatedly, finally stopping when she felt arms wind themselves around her own. She was slowly lifted away from the vampire who had now backed into a corner and was cowering there like a scared pup.

"Let me go! You don't understand! It must be some spell or something…he's got you all thinking he's not evil but don't let him fool you cause he's bad, I mean, he's Spike remember? William the Bloody? Torture via railroad spikes hence the name 'Spike'? Now let me go!"

Buffy struggled wildly against the hands that held her captive. She lifted her head to meet the questioning blue eyes of her Watcher.

"Giles? Thank god! Someone with an ounce of sense here. Look-- "

"Okay hon. First off, that's a rubber stake you got there. Second, what the heck is wrong with you?"