Only two more chapters to go........ ____________________________________________________ Pippin rushed into the kitchen and set the pan in the sink back on the stove. He started getting a fire going, when to his horror came a knock on the door.

"Oh no!" he groaned. He tried to ignore it, but it became more insistent, and then there was a loud voice.

"Frodo Baggins! Come to the door this instant!" It was Lobelia Sackville-Baggins. Pippin cursed under his breath and tried working quieter. All of a sudden, there came a bonnetted head at the window.

"Well, young master Took! Are we cooking for our inferiors now?" she mocked. "Why are you cooking?"

"Well, erm, you see, Sam's a bit under the weather, you see."

"And what are you cooking? Smells like rats!"

"Oh yes, rat sausages," said Pippin smacking his lips. "Yummy! Frodo likes them extra well done, see?" he shoved the pan out the window and showed her. Her eyes blazed as she stepped away.

"Well!" she huffed. "Just wait until your father hears of this! And don't think he won't, because my Lotho has standing in the Shire, just you wait you brat! You're still nothing but a nasty tweenager." She turned to go, and then tossed as a parting shot, "Tell Frodo that I stopped by, little Pippin." Then flounced off with her nose in the air.

"Oh, I won't forget Lobelia my dear, though I may forgive you," muttered Pippin. He shook himself and returned to feverish firebuilding. Unfortunately, he wasn't the most experienced at this fine art and it took him at least fifteen minutes to get the remotest flicker.

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"Oi, am I thirsty," said Sam wiping his brow with his hand.

"Don't think about it," said Frodo.

"What is taking that Pippin so long?" said Merry. "And what is your grand plan, Sam?"

"I don't think I had best talk about it yet. You'll see soon enough, providin' that Mr. Pippin hurries with those sausages."

"So we have to rely on Pippin again. I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up saving the world someday!" said Merry letting himself fall onto his back.

"You never know," murmured Frodo. He was thinking of his uncle Bilbo's magic ring. Could that be what the Nose was after, somehow? Was the plain band of gold more than it appeared? He couldn't help but grin at the thought of a nose wearing a ring. What an idea, a Nose Ring! He almost laughed out loud. Suddenly, the mists started swirling. Merry grabbed the tin can.

"Pippin? Have you got them?" He listened for a moment. "There's no time for name calling, Pippin! Sam, what do you want him to do?"

"Send 'em down here," said Sam. "Carefully as you can!" The mists swirled and the form of a frying pan dropped down at their feet, scattering blackened smoking lumps.

"Yuck," said Frodo. "What exactly are you going to do?"

"Hold Mr. Merry, Mr. Frodo," said Sam gingerly picking up a sausage.

"What!" shouted Merry. "What are you doing?"

"It's got to be done!" cried Sam. "The Nose has got to be taught a lesson!" Merry fought against Frodo but Sam tackled him low and knocked him to the ground. Frodo sat on his legs and Sam on his chest.

"I'm sorry to do this, Mr. Merry, but I think it's the only way," said Sam.

"Curse you, you fat cross-eyed naaaaggghhh!!" Sam grabbed his nose fiercly and poised the smoldering sausage. Merry's eyes crossed and he screamed. There was a wet popping sound, and Sam toppled backwards onto Frodo. Merry clutched his face and staggered to his knees. Sam and Frodo looked at the Nose twitching violently in Sam's hand.

"Good g-gracious!" said Sam. "I didn't even get the sausage near it! It just popped off!" Frodo was promptly sick.

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Pippin waited for nearly a whole minute. Nothing was happening. He strode about impatiently. He paused in front of the wizard to think a moment. Then without warning the beard erupted in fury. Screaming sounds came from within. Pippin grabbed the firepoker and raised it above his head..........

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Bwahaha! A cliffhanger! Is it me or is this story ten times wierder than the original?