Breakable

Summary: Narcissa Malfoy muses about her life, her son, and her lover. One shot.

Disclaimer: not mine…..obviously. Song belongs to Fisher.

Do you always have to tell him everything

on your mind?



I haven't led a very good life. By most wizard standards, my life could not get any better, but the public rarely sees inside the black gates of our Manor, and those few occasions are for our formal balls, held once a year for as long as I can remember. But the public doesn't see what goes on after those extravagant events.

Sometimes it's too much for me to deal with. I just take his abuse, and then I go to my chambers and recover. It's always been the same, no differences over the twenty-four years we've been married. We married straight out of school. He went on to be the Dark Lord's second in command, and I went on to be nothing. Just a toy. Until Draco.

When Draco was born, our world changed. The followers of the Dark Lord knew that there was an heir. They had nothing to fear. Everything would be alright. It's a shame they didn't know what he went through. Or, perhaps, it was for the better, as some of those followers would expect even harsher treatment.

You know that too much honesty can be

so unkind

Lucius, my life, my lover, beat our son. Draco was never good enough for his father. Sometimes he would be hit for no reason, others, when there was a reason, the treatment was much harsher. I would cry with him as I applied the concealment charms. He would stay with me, and the next day, Lucius would call me into his office.

And every time you throw him to the floor

why are you surprised to see he's breakable?

He didn't understand why Draco would be hurt so easily. He accused me of spoiling him, and that was making him weak. After he was done with me, I would question in my mind why we stayed with him. The treatment was horrible, but there wasn't much we could do about that. Believe me, we tried.

You always try to find what's holding him

Away from you

but do you ever see your anger standing there

Right between you?

My husband could be so dense sometimes. He never understood things unless he had his way. It was almost intoxicating, the way he had such power and control. I envied him. He had more control over me than I did. But if only he realized what he was doing. I wanted to shake him, scream at him, and ask him how many people had to see through him before he could see through himself, too.

And every time you throw him to the wall

why are you surprised to see he's breakable?

And then I ask myself, why aren't I helping? It's a cold world out there, and Draco has experienced too much of it, too soon. I wish I could help him, but I can't. I'm not strong enough. I'm breakable too.

Tell the world that he's breaking your heart

Go tell the world nothing's ever your fault

Go tell them all

One day, though, we will get out of here. I may not have power of Lucius, but, at some point, I hope to have power over myself. I don't want my son to put up with this anymore. It's too much. Sometimes I hear him whisper about how he would rather be dead than see me get beat again. He doesn't care about himself. He doesn't think anyone does. But I do.

But until that day, I suppose we're stuck here. Stuck in this nightmare, stuck in this façade that we wear. It's so painful to see people imagining our perfect life. It hurts to know that what they believe isn't true. Everyone thinks that our family will uphold the honor and dignity of the Dark Lord. But we're crumbling.

And every time you throw him to the floor

Why are you surprised to see he's breakable?

I'm crumbling, Draco's falling, and Lucius is ruining his career with lie after lie. So, I guess in a way, we're all breakable.

And every time you push him to the wall

Why are you surprised to see he's breakable?

I just wish I knew that before.