Chapter Three: In Which Mary Sue Escapes From A Near Death Toilet Incident
A/N: We are full of five year old toilet humour. No, seriously.
Mary Sue Jada Marina Aurora Evelyn Mara Alanna Melody (Insert Other Exotic Names Here) Longman smiled at the co pilot as he tottered toward the toilet, his legs crossed.
He smiled back, ran down the aisle and barged into the toilet. Moments later a relieved sigh was heard. Then the noise a jammed button makes when it's being pressed.
"What the **** is wrong with this ******* toilet?!!" Exclaimed the man. "I hate these electric toilets!"
He jabbed the button again and the toilet lid slammed shut and clamped down, any minute now the contents would be jettisoned into the air.
Nothing happened. "GOD NO, CRAP!!!!" Exclaimed the pilot from inside the cabin. "PRESSURE'S BUILDING, THE DRAIN'S CLOGGED!!!"
The co pilot screamed and tried in vain to yank the toilet lid up. A red light began flashing on the plane control panel, and then the rear of the plane and the control panel exploded.
Mary Sue stood up, her hazel eyes flashing with determination, and her silky smooth dirt brown hair streaming out behind her. She grabbed a parachute from under her seat, strapped it on her back and struggled to force the plane door open. It was jammed. She turned around, fear in her expression, and then she noticed the gaping hole where the back of the plane had been, and jumped out.
Angeline Fowl pushed Artemis out the door. "Go on, Arty, some sunshine will do wonders for you!"
The sixteen year old Geek genius scowled ferociously. "MOTHER! SUNLIGHT IS CRAPPY! LET ME GO, I HAVE TO PLOT THE DEMISE OF THE MAFIA!!!"
Angeline sobbed and hit Artemis over the head with her hand bag. "Artemis, how could you talk to your Mummy like that! No go outside, find some friends.
Artemis scowled again as the door was slammed shut behind him. He made his way toward his car, a Plymouth Prowler, because, unbeknownst to his Mother, Artemis tried to be a womaniser. However, as I, your beloved narrator have discovered, Geeks and Girls don't go together, except under extreme (ly lucky) circumstances. Geeks are underrated, seriously. We rock. Anyway.Ahem! On with the show
Mary Sue landed softly in a bed of roses, in front of a huge manor. A boy was striding down the path toward her. Artemis Fowl. She gave a great cry of pain and yanked a rose thorn out of her butt.
Artemis span and ran toward her. He gasped as he approached her. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Mary Sue glanced around, panicking, then fell backwards with a great sigh.
"Oh, My God," said Artemis, "she's fainted!" Mary Sue cracked open one eye. He had fallen for it. "OH MY GOD!" Artemis stood up and began to run around in circles. Mary Sue stood up, but forgot she was wearing ten inch stilettos and fell over again, into the rose bush.
"CRAP!!!" She screamed as she leapt four feet into the air, her butt covered in blood, then she fell to the ground, whacked her head on the, erm, lower areas of a nude male statue and was out before she could even question the Fowl family's tastes.
A/N: We are full of five year old toilet humour. No, seriously.
Mary Sue Jada Marina Aurora Evelyn Mara Alanna Melody (Insert Other Exotic Names Here) Longman smiled at the co pilot as he tottered toward the toilet, his legs crossed.
He smiled back, ran down the aisle and barged into the toilet. Moments later a relieved sigh was heard. Then the noise a jammed button makes when it's being pressed.
"What the **** is wrong with this ******* toilet?!!" Exclaimed the man. "I hate these electric toilets!"
He jabbed the button again and the toilet lid slammed shut and clamped down, any minute now the contents would be jettisoned into the air.
Nothing happened. "GOD NO, CRAP!!!!" Exclaimed the pilot from inside the cabin. "PRESSURE'S BUILDING, THE DRAIN'S CLOGGED!!!"
The co pilot screamed and tried in vain to yank the toilet lid up. A red light began flashing on the plane control panel, and then the rear of the plane and the control panel exploded.
Mary Sue stood up, her hazel eyes flashing with determination, and her silky smooth dirt brown hair streaming out behind her. She grabbed a parachute from under her seat, strapped it on her back and struggled to force the plane door open. It was jammed. She turned around, fear in her expression, and then she noticed the gaping hole where the back of the plane had been, and jumped out.
Angeline Fowl pushed Artemis out the door. "Go on, Arty, some sunshine will do wonders for you!"
The sixteen year old Geek genius scowled ferociously. "MOTHER! SUNLIGHT IS CRAPPY! LET ME GO, I HAVE TO PLOT THE DEMISE OF THE MAFIA!!!"
Angeline sobbed and hit Artemis over the head with her hand bag. "Artemis, how could you talk to your Mummy like that! No go outside, find some friends.
Artemis scowled again as the door was slammed shut behind him. He made his way toward his car, a Plymouth Prowler, because, unbeknownst to his Mother, Artemis tried to be a womaniser. However, as I, your beloved narrator have discovered, Geeks and Girls don't go together, except under extreme (ly lucky) circumstances. Geeks are underrated, seriously. We rock. Anyway.Ahem! On with the show
Mary Sue landed softly in a bed of roses, in front of a huge manor. A boy was striding down the path toward her. Artemis Fowl. She gave a great cry of pain and yanked a rose thorn out of her butt.
Artemis span and ran toward her. He gasped as he approached her. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Mary Sue glanced around, panicking, then fell backwards with a great sigh.
"Oh, My God," said Artemis, "she's fainted!" Mary Sue cracked open one eye. He had fallen for it. "OH MY GOD!" Artemis stood up and began to run around in circles. Mary Sue stood up, but forgot she was wearing ten inch stilettos and fell over again, into the rose bush.
"CRAP!!!" She screamed as she leapt four feet into the air, her butt covered in blood, then she fell to the ground, whacked her head on the, erm, lower areas of a nude male statue and was out before she could even question the Fowl family's tastes.
