Chapter Four: In Which Mary Sue recovers From Her Injuries And Artemis
Discovers Her Secret (ENTER LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP)!!! "HOLYCRAPFRICK!" Exclaimed Mary Sue as Juliet pulled yet another thorn out of her blood covered butt.
Artemis was sitting on a chair nearby, suddenly he gasped. "OH MY GOD" (Artemis loved to say that), "JULIET, GET THOSE THORNS OUT AND THROW HER IN A CELL, SHE'S AN AMERICAN SPY! OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE! LOCK HER IN THE TOILET!!!"
"Which one, sir?" Asked Juliet as she yanked the last thorn out.
"THE SMALL ONE!"
"Wait a minute." said Mary Sue. She lifted up one of her ear rings and spoke into it. "Commander, Sir, Artemis found out about us. What do we do?"
"We've been ID'd!!!" Screamed the Commander. "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!!!" There was a gurgling noise, followed by a thump sound, and then a new voice came on line. "Hmm. Mary Sue, we have problems. The Commander just had a heart attack. He's dead, no, wait! He's turned into a fish!"
The ear ring went dead. Artemis glanced at it. "Toilet ear rings?" Mary Sue smiled sweetly at him. "The Agency Symbol."
"WAIT A MINUTE!" Screamed Artemis. "THAT MEANS YOU KICKED ME OUT OF THE SYSTEM! DIE BITCH! JULIET, THROW HER IN THE STINKY COMPOST TOILET!!!"
"One thing." Said Mary Sue, her black hair fanning out behind her as she stood up, her green eyes curious. "How did you know.?"
Artemis held up the catsuit. On it was a picture of a toilet and the characters: MJ12.
It was then that Mary Sue noticed that she was dressed only in her skimpy black underwear. Juliet opened the door. "I'm just going to get a straitjacket, Artemis, there's a turret mounted on the ceiling, if she does anything, it's TRANQ TIME, BABY!!"
She left. Mary Sue sidled over to Artemis, who had a laptop on a desk in front of him and was playing 'Dungeon Keeper 2' (Very good game, super good game in fact. GET IT NOW!!). Mary Sue sat on his lap and wriggled one of her bra straps off. "Oh, Artemis, please help, one of my bra straps has fallen off."
Artemis didn't seem to hear. He started clicking madly on the screen. "******* IMPS! DO THE ******* MINING FOR ****'S SAKE!! DON'T GO THERE YOU ****WITS! OH, GODDAMIT! HORNED REAPER SUMMONING!!!
Techno/Rock music began to play and a huge red creature, which the game affectionately called "Horny" began stomping around.
"Oh," Said Mary Sue, fluttering her two-inch lashes. "Just like you, Artemis. Horny."
Artemis began to jump up and down on his chair. "YES! GO! MASH THE B.
Just then Angeline Fowl flung open the door, a broom in her hand. "Oh, Artemis! You've been taken advantage of, poor Artemis!" She began sobbing and raised the broom.
Mary Sue gulped. "Time to make myself scarce."
She dashed out the door, Angeline in tow. Juliet walked up the hallway, saw the chase, made some popcorn, and invited Artemis up to the security room to watch the whole thing unfold.
4 Hours Later
Mary Sue lay on a hard stone floor next to a stinky compost toilet, in a strait jacket, several large bumps on her head. A broom rested proudly on the toilet. Mary Sue started screaming. "THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! I'M SO, LIKE, GREAT!"
"Hmph!" She sat up, her basket ball breasts jiggling. Time to get out of the jacket. She had done this before. She glanced around. Nothing but a broom, an old rag, a box of matches and some kerosene.
She stood up and manipulated the jacket. She brought it over her head, teetered forward, and fell headfirst into the toilet. Her long, blonde hair fell past her face and her blue eyes filled with tears as she fell, then she stopped falling. Her extremely sexy hips were stuck.
"NOOO!" She wailed. "I'm, like, perfect! This isn't supposed to happen!"
She struggled and twisted and turned, the broom fell, but didn't disappear, the straw brush end came to rest on the squelchy contents of the toilet, while the handle stuck upwards. Mary Sue got an idea.
Discovers Her Secret (ENTER LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP)!!! "HOLYCRAPFRICK!" Exclaimed Mary Sue as Juliet pulled yet another thorn out of her blood covered butt.
Artemis was sitting on a chair nearby, suddenly he gasped. "OH MY GOD" (Artemis loved to say that), "JULIET, GET THOSE THORNS OUT AND THROW HER IN A CELL, SHE'S AN AMERICAN SPY! OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE! LOCK HER IN THE TOILET!!!"
"Which one, sir?" Asked Juliet as she yanked the last thorn out.
"THE SMALL ONE!"
"Wait a minute." said Mary Sue. She lifted up one of her ear rings and spoke into it. "Commander, Sir, Artemis found out about us. What do we do?"
"We've been ID'd!!!" Screamed the Commander. "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!!!" There was a gurgling noise, followed by a thump sound, and then a new voice came on line. "Hmm. Mary Sue, we have problems. The Commander just had a heart attack. He's dead, no, wait! He's turned into a fish!"
The ear ring went dead. Artemis glanced at it. "Toilet ear rings?" Mary Sue smiled sweetly at him. "The Agency Symbol."
"WAIT A MINUTE!" Screamed Artemis. "THAT MEANS YOU KICKED ME OUT OF THE SYSTEM! DIE BITCH! JULIET, THROW HER IN THE STINKY COMPOST TOILET!!!"
"One thing." Said Mary Sue, her black hair fanning out behind her as she stood up, her green eyes curious. "How did you know.?"
Artemis held up the catsuit. On it was a picture of a toilet and the characters: MJ12.
It was then that Mary Sue noticed that she was dressed only in her skimpy black underwear. Juliet opened the door. "I'm just going to get a straitjacket, Artemis, there's a turret mounted on the ceiling, if she does anything, it's TRANQ TIME, BABY!!"
She left. Mary Sue sidled over to Artemis, who had a laptop on a desk in front of him and was playing 'Dungeon Keeper 2' (Very good game, super good game in fact. GET IT NOW!!). Mary Sue sat on his lap and wriggled one of her bra straps off. "Oh, Artemis, please help, one of my bra straps has fallen off."
Artemis didn't seem to hear. He started clicking madly on the screen. "******* IMPS! DO THE ******* MINING FOR ****'S SAKE!! DON'T GO THERE YOU ****WITS! OH, GODDAMIT! HORNED REAPER SUMMONING!!!
Techno/Rock music began to play and a huge red creature, which the game affectionately called "Horny" began stomping around.
"Oh," Said Mary Sue, fluttering her two-inch lashes. "Just like you, Artemis. Horny."
Artemis began to jump up and down on his chair. "YES! GO! MASH THE B.
Just then Angeline Fowl flung open the door, a broom in her hand. "Oh, Artemis! You've been taken advantage of, poor Artemis!" She began sobbing and raised the broom.
Mary Sue gulped. "Time to make myself scarce."
She dashed out the door, Angeline in tow. Juliet walked up the hallway, saw the chase, made some popcorn, and invited Artemis up to the security room to watch the whole thing unfold.
4 Hours Later
Mary Sue lay on a hard stone floor next to a stinky compost toilet, in a strait jacket, several large bumps on her head. A broom rested proudly on the toilet. Mary Sue started screaming. "THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! I'M SO, LIKE, GREAT!"
"Hmph!" She sat up, her basket ball breasts jiggling. Time to get out of the jacket. She had done this before. She glanced around. Nothing but a broom, an old rag, a box of matches and some kerosene.
She stood up and manipulated the jacket. She brought it over her head, teetered forward, and fell headfirst into the toilet. Her long, blonde hair fell past her face and her blue eyes filled with tears as she fell, then she stopped falling. Her extremely sexy hips were stuck.
"NOOO!" She wailed. "I'm, like, perfect! This isn't supposed to happen!"
She struggled and twisted and turned, the broom fell, but didn't disappear, the straw brush end came to rest on the squelchy contents of the toilet, while the handle stuck upwards. Mary Sue got an idea.
