Hemmorhage (In my hands)
Memories are just where you laid them
Drag the waters 'til the depths give up their dead...
Snape sighed as he looked into his now swirling Pensieve. There it all
was...his mother's death. His father's death. His first and only
girlfriend, then the ensuing breakup. The cause of all his bitterness in
one place. It was almost enough to break a person. And break him it did.
What did you expect to find?
Was it something you left behind?
He wondered what he thought he would see.how he thought anything could
change as a result of looking into penseive. It was here, not changing. He
couldn't change it. Not for the first time he was nearly brought to tears
at the sight of Maryanna's face.
Don't you remember anything I said
When I said 'Don't fall away and leave me to myself.'
'Don't fall away and leave love bleeding in my hands
in my hands again. Leave love bleeding in my hands,
in my hands. Love lies bleeding.'
No matter what he wanted, Maryanna was dead. She had died when he was only
17 and took the better part of his heart with her. As a teenager, he was
only as bitter as the others in Slytherin house. After her death.he was
nothing. He hated everything. She had left him. It had all been so.selfish.
She had died right when he needed her. How could she do something like that
to him? She never gave a damn in the first place. He just knew it.
Hold me now, I feel contagious.
Am I the only place that you've left to go?
Now, that girl wanted to get close to him. He wouldn't let her. Couldn't
let her really. He called her a filthy mudblood among various other things.
She cared about him when no one else did. He pretended not to care, but
something inside him longed to be loved. He wanted her, and he wanted her
right now. At the same time, he felt that he was a last resort to her.
Frankly, it hurt.
She cries her life is like
Some movie black and white.
Dead actors faking lines,
Over and over and over again she cries.
She had told him everything. She had told him how crap the world was to
her. Had told him how much she longed to be with him. She told him he was
the only one out there like her. He had told her nothing of his inner
turmoil. "Miss Granger," he had said "I do not care for you in any way
whatsoever. I could care less what your feeling, could care less about your
teen angst. You are a filthy Mudblood and I will not waste my time on you.
Leave me at once." She had cried. After she left, he had felt like crying,
but he couldn't cry. He was empty.
And I wanted.
You turned away.
You don't remember,
But I do. You never even tried.
He wrote a note out telling everything that had happened to him. He signed
the note 'to the world who may not remember me tomorrow, Severus Snape'.
The next morning they found him. He had drank a powerful potion which had
killed him. In the note that they found, he had placed a post script.
'Hermione, I love you. You may not have known it by the way I acted. I know
you cared about me. I hate who I have become. I didn't really kill myself,
love. I died a long time ago, in my seventh year. It had to be done.'