Author's note: Just a heads up, this is sort of a flashback chapter. But you need to read the ending to move on.
****** Signals a different flashback scene.
Disclaimers: O_o Must you always ask that? *cries* I own nothing . . . . now leave me to weep!
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"I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time."
~Here Without You
3 Doors Down
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Rikku sat in her hotel room, trying hard not to cry. Ryo had gone out to pick up some more shorts for her in downtown Bevelle, leaving Rikku alone. Somewhere between the proposal all the way up to being in Luca, Ryo had changed. And not for the better. Rikku suddenly felt scared of her fiancée. It was like he was controlling her.
"No. Ryo loves me. He'd never try to control me. He just doesn't want to see me get hurt again. I'm just ornery to think so otherwise," she persuaded. Her thoughts went quickly from Ryo to Auron. How Ryo always told her he wasn't good enough for her. That he was just a guy who had no purpose in life, yet insisted in staying in Spira.
All these insults ran through Rikku's head, taunting her and depleting her happiness. Soon, the insults disappeared yet were replaced with flashbacks of the pilgrimage.
*****
"Show me your face," Auron ordered her, glaring down on her.
Rikku was reluctant. She showed Auron her face, yet kept her eyes shut. Auron sighed and raised one eyebrow. "Now your eyes"
She pried open one eyelid, then both. Her heart began to pound at the older guardian's reaction. Her teal eyes were swirled yet bright. Only those who were Al-Bhed had swirled eyes. Rikku shrugged. "No good?"
Auron smirked, yet it was hidden under his collar. He turned to Yuna and nodded his agreement before turning away. Rikku couldn't help but smile. She was actually a guardian.
*****
"I hate lightning . . . can't we get inside . . . for at least a little bit?" the blonde-girl whimpered.
"It won't matter. The storm won't cease. It's best we continue on," Auron replied gruffly, motioning to the rest of the group to press forth. Rikku, however, wouldn't budge.
"You guys are so mean! All I want is to go inside! I don't like lightning!"
Tidus placed his hand on Auron's shoulder. "C'mon. I'm kind of tired, too. Let's just stop at the inn and stay there for the night. We can rest up and leave tomorrow morning."
"I have no objections, Sir Auron," Yuna piped up.
"Let's give the kid a break, ya?" Wakka smiled back at Rikku who was shivering in fright. Lulu had no comment.
"Fine. We'll stay for the night. But we leave first thing tomorrow morning."
When they all came back, Rikku jumped in the air happily. "Thank you!" she yelled before running inside to take shelter. While everyone seemed to enjoy the short break, Auron couldn't help but feel just a bit annoyed. If it were Jecht and Braska, they would have wanted to push forth. But he was stuck with a bunch of novices who had no clue what exactly they were up against or what lie ahead.
Auron walked down the hallway to where all the rooms were. He chose a room at random and opened the door, his eyes widening at the sight. The Al-Bhed girl was sitting on the bed, her knees drawn to her chest and he head buried. He turned to leave when Rikku called to him, "Auron . . . can you stay here . . . please? I don't wanna be alone."
"Then why don't you join the rest of us in the lobby? You won't be alone."
She shook her head, which was still buried. "No, I want to stay here. Please don't go," she begged. The guardian still had one hand on the doorknob, contemplating whether he should leave or not. He sighed defeat and softly shut the door, taking at seat in a chair on the opposite side of the room. He didn't have to look up to know Rikku was smiling now that he was there. Auron picked up his flask from his side and drank lazily from it.
"Umm . . . Auron . . . what's in that?" Rikku asked.
He wiped his lips with his thumb and looked at her. "Sake."
She nodded and stretched her legs out in front of her. "You know, I've been dying to ask you this . . . but . . . what was it like on your last pilgrimage?"
Auron growled. "Is this your attempts at small talk?"
"Sorry, sheesh. Someone's grumpy," she grumbled, pulling herself back into a little ball.
Irritated, Auron rose to his feet and proceeded to the door. "I'm leaving. Why did I really think you were scared in the first place?"
"No! Don't! Come back here!"
Auron opened the door but felt a small hand grasp his coat. He turned to meet the eyes of Rikku which were glazed over with tears. "I wasn't joking when I said that I was scared. Please don't leave me alone! At least stay until I fall asleep. I promise I won't ask anymore questions."
He pulled back. "I shouldn't-."
"Just this one time. I promise." As he closed the door again for a second time, Rikku smiled. She hopped away and pulled the covers down off the bed and crawled in. As she laid her head on the pillow, she looked over at Auron who was still standing beside the door. She propped herself on one elbow to reach over to the lamp on the nightstand. "You don't want to sit down? Because when I turn off the light, you won't be able to see."
"The lightning's enough to guide me back to my seat. Besides, I'm not staying long, remember? Only until you fall asleep."
She nodded and clicked the lamp off, turning over on her side and slowly shutting her eyes. Every so often she'd jump at the sound of the thunder but would calm down when she saw Auron still standing by the door. Soon, her eyes remained closed and her breathing became regular. Auron shook his head and turned to leave when a lightning bolt lit the room up and showed how peaceful Rikku looked in her sleep. He approached her bedside and kneeled beside it, watching her carefully. He placed his arms on the bed and buried his head in his arms, forgetting he could have left at anytime now that the blonde was asleep.
He, too, closed his eye and succumbed to a well-needed rest.
******
Rikku tried to keep warm as she fixed up one of the machina that had been damaged in the Crawler explosion. She was still thinking of a way to get revenge on her brother when she met back up with him. Trying to kill her just because she was an Al-Bhed guardian was no excuse! At long last, she pulled back from the machina vehicle and smiled at her handiwork. She got on the vehicle and started the engine, happy that she was able to fix such a complex piece of machinery. She looked around at the rest of her friends. Tidus mounted his machina with Lulu behind him. Kimahri offered to share with Wakka only because he was still seething at everyone else for not telling him Rikku was an Al-Bhed.
That left Auron. Without a ride. And Rikku was the only one with an extra seat.
He strode over to her and stared at her. "Is this seat taken?"
"No . . . you can sit here."
Auron ran a hand through his hair and paused. "Maybe I should drive. I don't think it's really . . . right . . . for me to be a passenger and have to hold on to you, if you know what I mean."
It took a moment for this to register with Rikku, but she obeyed and moved back, Auron taking her place at the wheel. She held tight around his stomach and just sat back and enjoyed the ride. "You know, Auron. I really didn't get to thank you back at the Thunder Plains. For staying with me."
Auron grunted a reply and Rikku couldn't help but laugh. "I guess I'll take that as a 'Your Welcome.'"
******
Everyone watched as Tidus left the clearing at Macalania Woods. It was just after twilight and everyone had managed to escape with only cuts and bruises after they survived the ambush at Seymour and Yuna's wedding. They all met back in the Woods, making sure to keep hidden as long as the soldiers were still looking for them.
Yuna wouldn't stop apologizing after the commotion died down, saying everything was her fault. But no matter how hard everyone tried to convince her otherwise, she still had a guilty conscious about the whole ordeal and summoned Kimahri to accompany her at lake not too far off. Everyone knew Tidus was the only person who could calm her down and sent him to talk to her.
Rikku sat in a tree, the soft pitter-patter of diminishing rain soothing her nerves. She sensed someone approaching her and reached near her belt for a grenade. The shrubs were pulled back and Rikku sighed a breath of relief when she saw it was only Auron. She removed her hand from the grenade and jumped from the tree to greet her friend.
"Hey, Auron. Why're you out here?"
"I should be asking the same thing. I saw you leave the group soon after Tidus did and just decided to see if you were alright," he clarified. Rikku nodded and moved back to her tree and climbed back up to her branch. She heard the older man laugh. "When did you learn to climb like a monkey?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" she defended.
"I've never seen someone climb a tree so swiftly like that. At least, not since I was little."
Rikku pulled her glove on a little tighter and looked up through the trees at the stars. "You know, I haven't really had the chance to take a good look at the night sky since I was little. It's really pretty. What do you think?" she babbled.
Auron removed his scarlet coat and placed it on a nearby rock and took off his collar as well. "Quite honestly, I don't really care to take a closer look at my surroundings. It all looks the same in the end, at least in my opinion."
"Oh, c'mon Auron! You mean you haven't really marveled at the sunrises or sunsets? You've never stopped to look out over the oceans of Spira? You haven't lived yet. Everything's so beautiful if you look hard at it."
She saw the pained look on his face but it quickly disappeared. She wondered if she hit some sort of nerve or something in him, yet shook her head and turned away to look back at the stars. Auron sat against the tree. "For a sixteen year old, you sure are wise for your age."
Rikku shrugged and descended from the tree, sitting beside Auron. "Well, when you have two older brothers who act their shoe size, you've got to learn to grow up a bit faster. Actually, I only have one brother now that I wish to disown."
"Wish I knew how that felt like. I was an only-child whose parents were killed by Sin and had to fend for himself," he voiced.
Rikku tilted her head. "I didn't know that your parents were killed by Sin, or that you were an only. Wow, that's probably the most information I've gotten from you since I met you," she joked.
"Must have slipped."
She smiled at him. "You can say whatever you want. I know you're warming up to me," she poked him in the arm with her index finger, causing Auron to move around restlessly until she stopped.
"Maybe you're constant optimism is rubbing off on me," Auron mumbled just loud enough for Rikku to hear.
"I'll take that as a compliment," she stifled a yawn and leaned inconspicuously against his shoulder. "You know, I think out of everyone in the group, you're most fun to talk to."
Auron blushed. "I'll take that as a compliment," he replied, mimicking Rikku's previous response.
The Al-Bhed stifled another yawn. "Yeah . . . something about you just keeps me . . . coming back . . . to you . . ." she faded off and fell asleep.
Auron smiled at the girl and maneuvered her so he could get his coat to cover her and keep her warm. When he came back, he placed her so her head was resting comfortably in his lap and the coat blanketed her whole body. And for the first time, Auron looked up at the stars and took Rikku's words to heart.
******
"So . . . Rikku . . . you and Auron . . . you've been hanging out an awful lot lately," Tidus asked as everyone wandered through the Calm Lands. Rikku blushed and grinned.
"He's nice to talk to. Once you get past his tough exterior."
Tidus brought his hands behind his head and blew a piece of hair from his face. "He's lived with me since my old man left and my mom passed away and I have yet to get to that stage where he's 'nice to talk to.'"
The Al-Bhed looked on at Auron who was leading the group. She watched him with admiration and felt herself turn red. "Guess I'm the lucky one."
******
Rikku sat with Auron on the cliff overlooking the old ruins of Zanarkand. Everyone had already fallen asleep at least two hours ago. Rikku looked at Auron's profile and smiled. "Do you think, in the end, we'll still be together?" she asked, leaning against him. She felt him tense up and was about to move away when he relaxed.
"I'm not . . . sure . . . ."
"You should know. You're the almighty, all-knowing Sir Auron! You know everything!" she teased.
She couldn't remember what she said next or even what Auron said. It didn't matter because all she remembered was the fact that Auron and Rikku shared their first kiss on the cliff of Zanarkand under the starlit sky. It couldn't have been more perfect. That was . . . until Auron pulled away, panicked.
"We can't do this. I can't keep seeing you," he made clear.
Rikku could feel the tears prick her eyes. She hadn't realized until tonight how much she'd fallen in love with Auron. From the Thunder Plains, to Macalania Woods, to now. They'd come so far. And here he was, telling her they couldn't see each other. It stung her. So she did the only thing that she would have done if it were any other guy.
She slapped him across the face.
Auron gripped her wrist, his eye narrowed. "Rikku, don't you see? I can't see you. I . . . I . . ." he released her from his grip and stumbled away. Rikku's teeth were bared and her eyes bright with tears. She fell to the ground and covered her head with her hands to hide her face in shame. How could she have thought someone so perfect could truly like her back?
******
Her eyes darted back and forth between the hologram of a younger Auron shout angrily at a holographic Yunaleska. Everything was starting to become so surreal. The next thing she knew was younger Auron leapt at Yunaleska, his bushido sword held high above his head. Yet, no blood was shed. No screams were heard. Just the loud thump of his body slamming into the ground and the 'shink' of his sword digging itself into the ground beside his unconscious body.
The Al-Bhed dared to look at Auron and made out his facial expression in the badly-lit area. Anger, pain, horror . . . just pure angst. He never took his eyes off of Yunaleska as she smirked at the memory. She smiled as Auron turned to his comrades and spoke. "Now! This is it! Now's the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow!"
Yet the older guardian's expression never left her mind. It seemed permanently etched in her thoughts. And the whole scene where he'd lay, unconscious, at the summoner's feet. Just how had he survived that attack? It hadn't seemed possible.
******
So it was true. He was an unsent. He never survived that attack in the first place. So she stood, numbed with pain as she watched the pyreflies leaving the man's body. She was so scared to be without him. He'd done so much for her and she'd done nothing in return. Tears began to fall down her cheeks as Auron passed by.
"C'mon, Rikku. I don't want my last image of you to be a sad face," she remembered him saying.
"I can't help it. You're the best thing that's happened to me. Please don't leave me," she cried. Rikku almost laughed to herself. It was almost like history repeating itself. She told Auron to not leave her the first time they really spent time together. He agreed that time. This time, he had no choice, and she new that. He was leaving her for good.
With her head lowered, she felt so embarrassed. But she felt Auron lift her head to meet her gaze and kissed her quickly. It wasn't like at Zanarkand yet was just as good.
She tried to reach out for his hand, his coat, anything! But he was already fading. The last thing she heard from him was, "I'm sorry, Rikku."
"No! No, Auron, come back! Don't leave me! You've got to protect me! Come back! I love you!"
She collapsed and pounded the ground. "Auron . . . I love you."
******
Rikku sat up, her heart racing and her cheeks wet with tears. She brought her hand to her forehead and gasped for air. Yet, she knew she couldn't deny it any longer.
Ryo walked in the door, bags in his hand. "Rikku, I'm back." He ambled into the room Rikku was in and dropped his bags at her appearance. "Sweetie . . . what's wrong?"
With her mouth slightly open and her eyes wide, she spoke shakily, "I'm still in love with Auron."
~*~*~
Author's note: I'm kinda sad. Summer vacation's ending soon. Which means I'll have less time to update the story. Actually, knowing me, I'll be back to updating regularly within a week. My school is really relaxed when it comes to homework. ~_^
Review Replies:
Ruki the Sake Fairy: Writer's block sux . . . I have a bad bit of it right now in fact in two of my stories. Imagine how much that sux.
Cool-Kitsune: Gah! Don't hurt me! Please! *holds Ryo out in front of her* HURT HIM INSTEAD!
Desdemona: Yeah . . . no one likey Ryo . . teehee . . . I always say likey. 'Cept I like to say 'Me no like you' more. I have a button with that phrase on it. ^_^
Kingster0517: I know, I feel so bad for Rikku. I read stories about girls who get caught up in abusive relationships and it makes me so sad because they always forgive their boyfriends. Yeah . . . it's sad . . . . :-(
AFTERMATH: Chaotic Wind: Wow, I've never had someone say they were excited to see a chapter up. ^_^ Makes me so happy! *big bear hug* Yay!! Don't worry! We can all form an angry mob and attack Ryo. Yay!! ^_^ (Why do I have a feeling attacking him is going to be . . . somewhat violent . . . O_o)
Auron's Biggest Fan: Yeah. Hopefully Auron'll find out soon. I don't know how much longer till the end of the story. I see no end in sight! ^_^ I'm the energizer bunny. I keep going and going and going . . .
Masta Ace: O_o Wow . . . I've never read so many cuss words in my life . . . Ryo is quite the pretty boy, huh? Surprised he doesn't wear makeup . . . but I love his spiky hair!
Auron's Biggest Fan: *points to a shark tank* We can feed him to those sharks . . . they're vicious. And scary looking. Plus, they don't take to kindly to people who want to badly injure the cast of FFX. Isn't that right my little pets? *shark go chomp*
Oh! Before I forget! Everyone gets a monkey!! o(^.^)o
Now, if you'll excuse me. I just bought a music composer program with an added music video program. So, I'm gonna go and see how that works. Don't 4get to R+R!!!
