AN: Here- knock yourselves out. Not literally... well... whatever floats your boat:)

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"What the hell's goin' on!"

"Stop barking Inuyasha," Lady Kaede said, unsuccessfully trying to calm the girl down. I could've told her it wasn't going to work.

"What the fuck happened to the jewel?!!!!" Hmm... Inuyasha was really taking this personally, wasn't she?

"The arrow with which Kagome shot the demon not only killed it but also shattered the jewel. In other words, the jewel's fragments have been scattered everywhere. Who knows how many there are. Perhaps a hundred, perhaps a thousand."

"Keh! If that stupid bitch had watched where he was shootin' then we wouldn't be in this shit now would we?" In case you hadn't noticed, it's me she's talking about when she says 'bitch.' But I assure you, I wasn't the only bitch in the room at that moment.

"Inuyasha...if you call me bitch one more time..." She didn't seem to be too impressed with my threats. My manly pride was going downhill, with blazing speed.

"Feh."

She'd better have thanked her lucky stars that Lady Kaede spoke up or I would have sat her until Kingdom-Come. And trust me, Kingdom wasn't anywhere close by.

"If even one shard falls into the wrong hands, the destruction will be incalculable. Kagome, Inuyasha, you two must work together to collect the shards so that the jewel may be restored," she said somberly. No, she wasn't the only one who was...disheartened, shall we say, by this problem. Inuyasha was loud and clear about being pissed. And to make matters worse, if it was possible, I was really starting to feel responsible for the mess...

"Hey hag, are ya deaf or somethin'? I'm one of those 'wrong hands' you're talkin about," Inuyasha smirked.  'It isn't too hard to see that,' is what I wanted to say but I kept my mouth shut. Besides, in that current situation, I was also one of those 'wrong hands.' That jewel hates me.

"Aye, but it cannot be helped."

"B-but I have to go home!" Sorry people, but I have a life that won't exactly sit around and wait for me.

"Nothin' doin! You broke the damn thing so sit your ass down before I start gettin' –really- angry."

"Inuyashaaa..." I was prepared to use my new favorite word when Lady Kaede intervened once again. Let's just say though, that Inuyasha's luck isn't going to hold out forever.

"Kagome child, leave her be. 'Tis better to leave this storm unfared."

"Humph. Fine by me..." Moody women aren't exactly my cup of chai.

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Man, I didn't care if it was the feudal times or the stone age, didn't they have –any- hot baths at all???!!!! I swam around for a while, you know, just relaxing, thinking, getting clean, nearly freezing myself to death. It was time to get dressed. I stood up and was almost completely out of the water when...

*BLINK BLINK*

"Aaaaaaaaagh osuwariiiii!!!!"  I can't help it, I'm a modest guy! What the heck was she doing, staring at me like that?!

I heard Lady Kaede say:  "So, see anything good?" after Inuyasha's wonderful plummet to the earth. 'Not that I don't feel bad doing that to her but... I may have found a new hobby,' I thought.

"Keh! As if. Shit, I forgot about the stupid subjugawhatchamacallit."

"So what were ye doing here Inuyasha if ye were not spying on Kagome?"

"Are you crazy you old nut! Does he look like he's got –anything- that would interest me?!!! I was only- "

"I know Inuyasha, ye are only here to try to steal the jewel shard."

"Feh, if you knew then why'd ya ask, you old goat."

"Ah...the future looks bleak indeed. Inuyasha, if ye do not combine forces with Kagome, who has the ability to 'see' the shards, there is no way that all the fragments will be found."

Baka baka baka baka baka baka baka Inuyasha!!! Hmm? Oh sorry, where was I? I must have forgotten to mention this but: meet one of the world's precious few shard detectors. How do I keep getting myself into these things?

"And I'm tellin' ya hag, if it's for the sake of the jewel then I'll put up with the idiot! So quit worrying."

"You really hate me that much, huh?" I demanded, not really needing an answer. It figures that she would. It also figures she'd hate me more after I came out wearing that stupid outfit. Kikyo's outfit. If I had only known back then. Anyway, I went about my business as Inuyasha went back into death-glare mode and growled at us from a corner.

It was a short while later that a woman from the village came to ask Lady Kaede for her assistance. "I will return shortly. Try not to kill one another," she said before she left. I would –try- but I wasn't going to make any promises.

"Oy." Princess Inuyasha was gracing me with her conversation.

"What?"

"Get undressed."

"Whaaaat!!!! Jeez you're even more perverted than some of my friends!!" And I'm from the future, man.

"I didn't mean it like that ya dumbass! I meant put on your normal weird ones!"

"Why? Because these make me look like Kikyo?" Don't mess with me girl. I'm smarter than I look.

"Keh. Whatever!"

This girl was driving me insane!!! Of course, being the diplomatic person that I am, I tried to establish common ground. In vain.

"Look, I can't work with someone who's always picking a fight."

"Hey, that's fine by me! I prefer to go at it alone!"

"Oh, is that so? I see, you don't need me then. Fine." I wasn't about to stay where I wasn't wanted. Besides, I have tests waiting for me at home! So There! I really need to get out more, don't I...

"Oy, where ya goin?"

"I've decided that I'm going home. Goodbye Inuyasha." I started walking off.

"Going home? Oy!!"

"My name is Kagome. Not 'oy'"

"Hey! Wait!"

"It's not 'hey,' either."

"OY! I said wait!!"

"What is it??! It's useless to try and stop me Inuyasha.

"Who gives a crap about you. Leave the shard behind." Well, that's one way of solving things. And I'd be damned if I would let her have the last laugh.

"Oh. You want this, huh?............Osuwari."

*SPLAT!!!*

"You can't have it." And that was my final word on the matter as I walked off for real this time. What a spoiled, arrogant, selfish, noisy little-  

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When I got to the well, I had a rather unfriendly encounter with a certain Yura of the Hair. And her skimpy outfit. Hey, I can't help but notice certain things...I'm a guy. But I swear I didn't think anything perverted! 'Why are all the pretty ones psychos?' was my only sad thought. Go figure. And she was another violent one, too. All in all, I nearly got myself sliced (AGAIN), I got my cheek cut, my jewel shard was shard-napped and I fell into the well- backwards. Yeah, big ouch. Couldn't even take my uniform. After a few moments of pain, I climbed out of the well, hoping against all hope that I was back at home. After what I'd been through, I came to realize that reality is an acquired taste.  

I'm a man, I'm not gonna cry. I'm a man, I'm not gonna cry- but boy was I glad to be home!!!!

"KAGOME!!!!" my brother and grandfather shouted.

"Umm.......Hey bro, what's with the outfit?" Yup. I this was the right place alright.

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After being interrogated by my over-inquisitive family, I collapsed on my bed, ready to call it a day...or a year, for that matter. Was it all just a dream? Maybe. But still...

I sat at the dinner table, chowing down my favorite food- Oden!- and altogether minding my own business. Grandpa had told me that he'd made sure the well was sealed, never to be opened again. Of course, he had also used the 'sacred Higurashi scrolls. Legend has it...' I couldn't help but feel a bit sad, though. I was also a little...oh I don't know, I guess you could say worried, about Lady Kaede and Inuyasha. That Yura looked like bad news. But I was determined to enjoy my Oden! What a glorious age I live in! Speaking of which, Inuyasha would just have to do without me. Besides, she would go berserk if she found out that my shard was stolen and I absolutely refused to deal with her on an empty stomach. Anyway, I started scarfing down my food when all of a sudden, someone barged in through the door. It was a rather noisy, rather pissed off someone.

"I-Inu...yasha?" Long time no see.

"Who the hell said you could go home?!!"

"B-but, how- where'd you come from?"

"Through the well of course!"

"The well? But it's- "

"Do not lie! Those sutras have been handed down the Higurashi family for generations and cannot fail!" Grandpa needed to cool it. I had several hundred questions of my own.

"What, you mean this crappy piece of paper? Sorry ta disappoint ya old man. Now get up you, we're goin' back!"

"Wait! I don't want to go!" Please, do you think she would actually listen to me? I'd have better luck communicating with Buyo. Using sign language.

"Just a minute young lady!" That's my momma alright! Lay down the law mommy and make this mean girl let go of me!

"What?!" If Inuyasha so much as –touched- my mother I would 'sit' her until-  wait. What????

No, I groaned, my mother was –not- rubbing Inuyasha's ears. Oh yes she was. And please don't tell me that Souta was standing next to her yelling 'me next, me next!' Yes, as a matter of fact, he was. Where's the aspirin?

"Cool!! Are you for real?? Are –those- real?? Can I see?? Can I touch 'em?? Are you human? Are you really strong? Are those nails really sharp? Can I trade my brother in and have you as my older sister?" bombarded Souta...that little punk of a brother.

"My my, what a lovely young lady you are! And such beautiful hair, too! Would you look at those ears- they're adorable!!! Now Kagome, I will be wanting grandchildren of –both- genders... Oh how I've always wanted a little girl! And they had all better have those adorable little ears! Now when did you say you wanted the wedding? June is lovely-"

"MOOOOOM!!!" Hasn't anyone ever heard of embarrassment around here? Well apparently Inuyasha and I were the only ones. Shifting around uncomfortably, I suddenly noticed a strand of hair on Inuyasha's shoulder. Apparently, I was the only one who could see it. Then the hair just started...moving...on it's own. 'Wait a minute,' I thought, 'hair? Oh please tell me this isn't happening.' It was time for us to take our leave. I had a really bad feeling, aside from the one that told me noisy chick was about to be adopted by my crazy family.

I yelled goodbye and made a speedy exit, dragging the hanyou along with me. Once outside, Inuyasha seemed a little amused. How could I tell? Well, the smirk was a dead giveaway.

"Sorry but you better break it to your old woman that I ain't exactly mate material," she said.

"You're telling me..."

"What was that, bitch ?!!!"  She screamed at me. What did I say? Sheesh, you agree with women, they get mad. You disagree with them, they get mad. I give up!

"Inuyasha... I told you not to call me that. I'm not going to warn you again."

"Try it and I'll use ya as a scratching post...bitch."

"Inuyashaaa..." She knew that tone. Finally, I was beginning to make myself clear! I could have cried just then.

"H-hey, I was just kidding man!"   That may have been true... But just for good measure, I said it anyway:)

"Osuwari!"

*SPLAT!!!*  "Oomph!! Why you sorry sonova- " etc, etc, etc. 'What a foul-mouthed brat,' I thought as I steadily walked towards the shrine. I pitied the man who'd ever be –stupid- enough to fall in love with her.

You can all start pitying me...

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A/N: Inuyasha is such a potty-mouth:) Next chapter will introduce......dum dum dum... everybody's favorite bad-ass older brother:)