Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, they are all their own persons.
Author's note: Don't attack me because of the jokes and whatnot! PLEASE! I like Canadians (I am one, you know) and Americans very much! DON'T KILL ME!
I got the jokes from www.wedonotliveinigloos.com (thank you, Grace!)
Chapter 7
'Canada is an interesting place - the rest of the world thinks so, even if Canadians don't.'--Unknown (heh heh. from wedonotliveinigloos.com.)
Ricky was pleased to find that Anne did not bug him at all the next day. He didn't even see her!
His good mood only lasted a short period of time, because he then began to wonder if she didn't like him. But, then again, she was pretty strange herself. He kept telling himself that and his mood improved once again.
*Meanwhile...*
"Okay, here's a good one. While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent. 'I do so by asking them the right questions,' says the Queen. 'Allow me to demonstrate.' She phones Tony Blair and says, 'Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?'
Tony Blair responds, 'It's me, ma'am.'
'Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir,' says the Queen. She hangs up and says, 'Did you get that, Mr. Bush?'
'Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!'
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, 'Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me.'
'Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?'
'Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?'
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, 'Can I think about it and get back to you?'
Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.
'Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?'
Powell answers immediately, 'It's me, of course, you dumb cracker.'
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, 'I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!'
And Bush replies in disgust, 'Wrong, you idiot, it's Tony Blair!'" Anne fell over laughing, getting some weird looks from passers-by. She glared at them and pointed at her shirt, which read 'I'm Canadian, eh?'. Nora shook her head sadly.
"Hey, you're supposed to be supporting my Canadian-ness of Canada Day!" Anne whined, crossing her arms. "Oh, hey--" she was grinning again. "Want a Timbit?" she thrust a box at her friend, which contained some sort of food. They were round pieces of cakey, doughnutty things.
"Uh, Anne... Those are from Canada, right?"
Anne nodded.
"Um... you came here about a week ago and... um... are you sure those are still edible?"
Anne considered this for a moment. "Yes, yes they are. See?" She took a dark brown Timbit and made a show of chewing it, while telling Nora that it was "deliciously chocolatey".
Nora was saved from having to eat a week-old Timbit, when an innocent person who had been watching was detected by Anne, who took the opportunity to sing 'O Canada' in French.
Nora hid behind the book she was currently reading ('A Walk to Remember' by Nicholas Sparks), and Anne sat down again, this time to tell her another joke.
"Don't worry," she said as she saw the pained look on Nora's face, "it makes fun of Canadians!"
Nora sighed and shrugged.
"A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, 'Hey Bob! Whatcha get the case of beer for?' 'I got it for my wife, eh.' answers Bob. 'Oh!' exclaims Doug, 'Good trade!'" She fell off the park bench again. When she got back up, she saw that Nora had gone back to her book.
"Ellie..." Anne whined. "Why aren't you laughing? Remember, you're only here because you didn't want me to annoy your boyfriend."
Nora turned a page. "He's not my boyfriend."
"Well, you sure act like he is."
"Go away."
"If I do, I'll be headed over to see Ricky..." Anne grinned evilly as Nora sighed in an 'I surrender' sort of way.
"Alright, alright, alright. What do I have to do?"
Anne opened the box. "Please eat the Timbit?"
~*~
Author's Note: Cruddy chapter, I know.
Author's note: Don't attack me because of the jokes and whatnot! PLEASE! I like Canadians (I am one, you know) and Americans very much! DON'T KILL ME!
I got the jokes from www.wedonotliveinigloos.com (thank you, Grace!)
Chapter 7
'Canada is an interesting place - the rest of the world thinks so, even if Canadians don't.'--Unknown (heh heh. from wedonotliveinigloos.com.)
Ricky was pleased to find that Anne did not bug him at all the next day. He didn't even see her!
His good mood only lasted a short period of time, because he then began to wonder if she didn't like him. But, then again, she was pretty strange herself. He kept telling himself that and his mood improved once again.
*Meanwhile...*
"Okay, here's a good one. While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent. 'I do so by asking them the right questions,' says the Queen. 'Allow me to demonstrate.' She phones Tony Blair and says, 'Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?'
Tony Blair responds, 'It's me, ma'am.'
'Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir,' says the Queen. She hangs up and says, 'Did you get that, Mr. Bush?'
'Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!'
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, 'Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me.'
'Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?'
'Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?'
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, 'Can I think about it and get back to you?'
Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.
'Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?'
Powell answers immediately, 'It's me, of course, you dumb cracker.'
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, 'I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!'
And Bush replies in disgust, 'Wrong, you idiot, it's Tony Blair!'" Anne fell over laughing, getting some weird looks from passers-by. She glared at them and pointed at her shirt, which read 'I'm Canadian, eh?'. Nora shook her head sadly.
"Hey, you're supposed to be supporting my Canadian-ness of Canada Day!" Anne whined, crossing her arms. "Oh, hey--" she was grinning again. "Want a Timbit?" she thrust a box at her friend, which contained some sort of food. They were round pieces of cakey, doughnutty things.
"Uh, Anne... Those are from Canada, right?"
Anne nodded.
"Um... you came here about a week ago and... um... are you sure those are still edible?"
Anne considered this for a moment. "Yes, yes they are. See?" She took a dark brown Timbit and made a show of chewing it, while telling Nora that it was "deliciously chocolatey".
Nora was saved from having to eat a week-old Timbit, when an innocent person who had been watching was detected by Anne, who took the opportunity to sing 'O Canada' in French.
Nora hid behind the book she was currently reading ('A Walk to Remember' by Nicholas Sparks), and Anne sat down again, this time to tell her another joke.
"Don't worry," she said as she saw the pained look on Nora's face, "it makes fun of Canadians!"
Nora sighed and shrugged.
"A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, 'Hey Bob! Whatcha get the case of beer for?' 'I got it for my wife, eh.' answers Bob. 'Oh!' exclaims Doug, 'Good trade!'" She fell off the park bench again. When she got back up, she saw that Nora had gone back to her book.
"Ellie..." Anne whined. "Why aren't you laughing? Remember, you're only here because you didn't want me to annoy your boyfriend."
Nora turned a page. "He's not my boyfriend."
"Well, you sure act like he is."
"Go away."
"If I do, I'll be headed over to see Ricky..." Anne grinned evilly as Nora sighed in an 'I surrender' sort of way.
"Alright, alright, alright. What do I have to do?"
Anne opened the box. "Please eat the Timbit?"
~*~
Author's Note: Cruddy chapter, I know.
