Okay…I had this idea awhile ago. But, being me…I didn't have the time or sense to type it out until now. (Bad me!) Anyway, here is a short with Goren and Eames…and Dumpster diving.

"Dumpster diving" (or "Garbage Pull") is when law enforcement officials take it upon themselves to look through a person's garbage or trash receptacle for remnants of potential evidence.

[In Laymen's terms: They become known as garbage pickers! It's really gross.]

A line said by Goren in the episode, "Malignant", inspired this story. He said, "You see, we did a little Dumpster diving…It's pretty nasty."

(Though, this story is not from this episode.)

Whatever, you probably passed up this whole thing…no one likes to read boring notes typed up by the author unless it is important. Please review and tell me what you think.

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Dumpster Diving

By CJSpooks (I'm a Spaz)

Eames parked the SUV at the curb. She glanced over at her partner. He seemed ready for the horrible task that await them. Eames silently wished that it wasn't going to get ugly. Also, she wished she had brought goggles, gloves, and a different outfit …

The two detectives exited the vehicle and walked straight into the alley. There stood several garbage cans and dumpsters almost as tall as Eames herself. Eames frowned and her nose wrinkled a bit at the stench. It smelled like…shit, literally. Goren didn't seemed even a bit phased by the grossness of all the elements. It was a hot day…in early June, which did not help at all. They were both clad in suits that screamed "we're detectives, don't bother us". Eames silently cursed, wishing she had taken off her suit jacket in the car. Goren surveyed the scene with his sharp eyes (that never missed any details). He spoke, "Okay, I'm going to give you a boost into the Dumpster and when you have found what we're looking for, I'll help you out."

"What?" –She almost screamed in disbelief.

"I said…"

"No, I heard you, Goren. I mean, I'm so not going in there!"

"Why not?"

"That's garbage! God knows what else is living in there!"

"Oh come on, Eames. When you signed up for this job, you knew there'd be crappy situations. This is one of those times when you just need to get over it."

"Stop sounding like my father. I can't go in there."

"Yes, you can. You just won't."

"Either way, I'm not going. You're the big macho man…you go play in the garbage."

"You can't push me up there."

"Too damn bad."

"Am I missing something? Is it the time of the month?"

Eames screamed as loud as she could, "Typical guy partner! Just get in the damn Dumpster and you'll make everyone happy back at the office."

"How so?"

"You'll be covered in garbage and the evidence will impress Deakins."

"Fine."

Goren used a few crates to hoist himself into the sticky and smelly receptacle. Eames sighed as she waited. Several minutes later came Goren's voice; "I can't find it. I dropped it and I don't see it."

"Great. I'll help." Eames piled a few more crates and stood near the edge, looking. Eames soon spotted it. "There!"

"Where?"

"There!" She pointed.

"I don't see it."

"It's next to the used condom."

"Where's that?"

"Next to the empty bag of crack."

"And…?"

"Near the bloody sanitary pad, Goren. Right behind you, dumb ass."

"Watch your language, Eames. They may need to up the rating because of you."

"You're making it seem like we're in a story based on a TV show."

"I thought we were."

"You're crazy, Bobby. Just grab it and go."

"I still can't see it."

"Ugh…right there!" She was halfway into the Dumpster from all the leaning and pointing she was doing.

Goren took this as an opportunity. He grabbed her by the arms and pulled her in. Before she could do anything to avoid it, she was face first in garbage. She had also landed on top of the thing they were looking for. "Here it is, damn you."

"Thanks for your reluctant help, partner."

"Shut up."

"Alex, You are so beautiful right now…with the banana peel on your head and your face soaked in garbage water."

"Well…you look very rugged with the candy wrappers and gum in your curls, Bobby."

They both smiled and then sat quiet for a moment. After a few moments, they realized who they were, where they were, and why they were there. Goren climbed carefully out of the Dumpster. He then helped Eames out like a gentleman. They walked back to the SUV, holding hands.

"We should do this more often." –Goren said when they were both settled in the car.

"Yeah, the old garbage pull is very therapeutic. We should tell Deakins about it…He needs to cool off a little." –Eames replied.

The two laughed as they drove back to One Police Plaza.

The End (unless I should write more). Please remember to review this!