Okay…this is another chapter to "Dumpster Diving". At first I wasn't going to write a follow up, but hey, it just happened. And, I know they're out of character…they're on the frickin goofy gas! (And so am I!)

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Dumpster Diving

By CJSpooks

Chapter 2: Diving for treasure causes a con

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(Where last chapter left off…) Goren and Eames sat in the car outside of One Police Plaza. They weren't really in the mood to report their experience to the Captain. Eames spoke first, "What do you think Bobby? Do you want to make an ass of yourself today? I mean, everyone will think it's a Kodak moment…the two of us walking in covered in garbage."

Goren smiled and replied, "I don't think Deakins will like that very much…even if we bring him the evidence. He'll think we're trying to bring the department image down."

"So? Let's do it just to piss him off!"

"Eames, I don't think it'll be a very good idea."

"Oh come on, break the rules once in a while."

"Fine…but you can lead, my lady."

"Okay partner…let's go."

Eames found a parking spot after five minutes of driving around the block. They then exited the SUV and went to the stairs. They really wanted to use the elevator, but they knew that would just be torture for anyone riding up with them. They climbed up eleven floors to the Major Case Squad office. By then, they were hot, tired, and incredibly smelly. Everyone greeted them with looks of surprise and disgust. Many reached to clamp their noses from the stench and others went to cover their mouths to muffle their uncontrollable laughter.

Deakins and Carver were talking in the Captain's office. When they heard all the commotion, they saw and smelled the two detectives. Deakins went for his handkerchief to cover his nose. Carver did also. Goren and Eames walked into the office, bringing the unbearable stench with them. As Eames was about to close the door for courtesy, Deakins stopped her. "Let's just leave it open…I've got nothing to hide. I mean, let's just ventilate the proximity." Eames shrugged and took a seat next to Goren in front of Deakin's desk. Deakins was about to start addressing the troublesome detectives when Carver caught his eye. The poor guy looked as if he was going to faint or puke. Deakins nodded to excuse the ADA and Carver ran like hell to the bathroom. Many heard the muffled moans and coughs coming from the bathroom. It was horrible. In Deakin's office, Eames made one of her sly comments; "It seems Mr. Carver couldn't stand the heat or the smell in the kitchen. Looks like he lost his lunch."

Goren smiled and added, "Looks like he lost all of his meals from this week."

The two laughed good heartily but then suddenly stopped short when they realized Deakins wasn't laughing…he was just cooking up a stormy punishment waiting for the two to stop. Goren and Eames looked immediately at their shoes. Goren automatically noticed that his shoes weren't matching. Eames noticed too and started to giggle again.

Deakins kept repeating 'Serenity now!' in his head over and over as he started, "This is no behavior for detectives serving the great city of New York…City. What do you have to say for yourselves?"

Goren looked up and responded, "Sir, with all due respect, when was the last time you went Dumpster diving?"

Deakins looked confused, "Detective Goren, are you feeling all right?"

Goren nodded. "Of course…will you answer my question?"

Deakins sighed, "Okay, I haven't done an old fashioned garbage pull since…I was a rookie detective."

Eames spoke up, "Sir, you should go more often. It's very good to let out feelings."

Deakins contemplated this idea and agreed, "It sounds like fun."

Goren said, "It is. It makes you feel young again."

Deakins liked the sound of that. "Okay. It's settled. I'm going Dumpster diving! Whoo hoo!"

Goren and Eames got up and left the office. They pulled out their evidence and completed the correct paperwork needed. At about seven thirty P.M., the two exited the building sighing at the night cool air. Eames turned to Goren and said quietly, "We got Deakins good. He didn't even yell at us for being covered in garbage."

Goren snorted and said, "Yeah. He's too easy."

Eames looked up at the night sky…no stars, just the big bright moon. "Hey Goren?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's come into work tomorrow as if nothing happened today."

"Okay…Deakins will be confused at our ignorance."

"He'll also be really pissed."

"Oh well. Who cares?"

"Want a ride home?"

"I'd like that."

Goren and Eames walked back to their car where a ticket had been placed on the windshield. Eames and Goren both cursed. "Split the cost?" –Eames asked.

Goren nodded. "Sure why not. Today has been a fun day…a ticket won't spoil it"

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About the same time, Deakins sat in his office finishing up a memo about Dumpster diving when he realized how he was conned. He fell off his chair and screamed, "GOREN! EAMES! I'M SO GOING TO GET YOU TWO!"

The End…ha ha ha ha ha!

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What do you think? It's really retarded, right? Whatever…I have an odd sense of humor. Please review…light and happy reviews help me float up and away. Bad ones burst my bubble!