The Parrot

By B.F. Walrus

Mrs. Kwan thought some sort of pet in her classroom would stimulate the learning environment. It would be nice to have some sort of 'class mascot'.

After some research, she decided a parrot would fit her needs nicely. It wouldn't be as much work as a dog or a cat, and it would be very interesting to hear it speak, but unfortunately they were quite expensive.

One day, during lunch break, she went to the local pet store. She spotted a large, beautifully colored parrot and asked the owner of the store for the price of the bird.

The owner said he would let it go for $50. Delighted that such a rare and beautiful bird wasn't more expensive, she agreed to buy it.

Before accepting her money, the owner said, "I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a whorehouse. Sometimes it says some pretty...well, embarrassing stuff."

Mrs. Kwan was so attracted to the bird and the excellent price that she decided to buy it anyway.

The next day, she brought the bird to school and placed the bird's cage on her desk and waited patiently for it to say something. The bird studied his new surroundings, and his new owner, and finally said, "New house, new madam."

Mrs. Kwan was a little taken aback at the implication of what she had just heard, but after a few minutes decided that it wasn't really all that bad.

A couple of minutes after the bell rang, Paige and Hazel walked in. The bird looked them over and said, "New house, new madam, new whores!"

After their initial surprise was over, the girls joined their teacher in laughter.

Craig came in a couple of minutes later, wearing tight pants, a sleeveless red shirt and a hat. The bird looked at him, the teacher, and the girls and said, "New house, new madam, new whores, same old faces. Hi Craig!"