Hikari was about to knock on the door but she hesitated. Maybe it would have been better if she hadn't agreed. She just could have said no and he still wouldn't have been angry or disappointed with her. He had always shown so much understanding for her and it wouldn't have been any different this time.
But when he had called her late last night and asked her to come over the next day she had immediately known that something was going on. First of all he rarely ever called her. He didn't like talking on the phone so he tried to avoid using it as far as possible. But that alone wouldn't have been enough to disturb her. He had been breaking out of his normal behavior every now and then so only that wouldn't have been so unusual.
But after hearing his voice she had known that something was going on. Even if it was just something insignificant it was still enough to throw him a little off balance. She had heard it in his voice. He had almost sounded as if he was a little overexcited and maybe somewhat nervous. But what could have possibly caused these two traits which he normally tried not to show too much to become so obvious? Yamato had learned to control his feelings rather well over the years. So this could only mean that something really important was on his mind.
She had wanted to find out what was bothering him but now she was unsure. At first it had seemed like a welcome distraction from her own worries but the all those thoughts about Yamato just added more complications to her own problem. Should she tell him now how she felt about him? Or would it maybe be better to wait until he was his old self again?
However she was suddenly brought out of her reverie by a soft voice calling her name:
"Hikari? Are you alright?"
Unconsciously she had knocked on the door while she had been standing there in the hallway and pondering what she should do. Yamato had opened and was now standing before her with one hand still resting on the handle and a worried expression on his face.
"I'm fine. Sorry, I was just thinking about something. Don't worry about me," she answered while shaking her head energetically and bringing a smile to her lips. She didn't really have to force herself to smile. Upon seeing his face and his beautiful blue eyes all her worries had been washed away. At least for a while.
"Well, that's good to hear but you know I'm always worried about you," he replied while inviting her to come inside. The worried look was already gone but Hikari thought she had noticed a little uncertainty behind his friendly smile. But what could he be so unsure about?
She quickly took her shoes off and let herself being led into the main room of the small apartment. It was the first time he had invited her to come over. She had been to his old apartment a few times which he had shared with his father before he had finally moved out but she hadn't seen his new one until now.
While they sat down on the couch she kept examining the apartment. Everything seemed exceptionally clean and tidy. There wasn't much furniture and even less pieces of decoration. Only a few photographs of his family had been neatly lined up on small dresser. The late afternoon sun which was bathing the whole room in a warm orange light was reflecting on the pictures' simple silver frames and casting fragile figures of light onto the room's ceiling.
"I didn't know you were such a tidy person. How long did you have to clean before you invited me over?"
"About two minutes. I had to learn how to run a household when I lived with my father. He wasn't home half of the time so it was up to me to keep the house clean and to care for everything else," he answered absentmindedly while tried to get comfortable on the couch.
Her attention had now shifted from the apartment's furnishings towards the blond boy beside her. "That's really impressive and I'm sure every girl would be thankful to get a man with these abilities but I guess it's not the reason why you called me over. You sounded pretty exited on the phone. Did anything happen? I hope everybody is okay!"
"Don't worry, everything is alright. Well, maybe not exactly but at least I hope everything will be alright soon." He didn't look at her when he spoke. Instead he tried to hide his own nervousness by avoiding her gaze.
"You are talking in riddles again. Do you have an idea how annoying this is? Why can't you just say what you mean for once?"
"I wish it was that easy." He smiled weakly. She was obviously displeased by his evasive behavior and he actually understood why. He would have also preferred to be able to just tell her what he wanted to get out. "It would be much easier that way for me as well but unfortunately I just can't do it that way. I already told you how difficult it is for me to tell other people about what's going on inside of me. It is as if I would give them to power to see right through me and then there would be no place left to hide."
He had hoped to get her understanding but this time no smile of sympathy reached her lips. Instead she seemed to be clearly enraged by his words. "Do you really think I'm just another face in the crowd? Am I just another stranger to you, nothing more?"
"Of course not!" He tried to defend himself but he still couldn't help but notice the trace of disappointment and sadness in her angry voice.
"Then why do you act as if you couldn't trust me at all? I'm telling you almost everything about me and about my thoughts and fears and you still don't let me into your life!" Hikari now began to regret her decision to come over. Obviously he still wasn't ready to open his heart to anyone. It would only hurt her even more if she now told him about her true feelings for him.
The brunette girl quickly rose from the couch and turned to leave in a hurry but Yamato grabbed her hand and didn't let go. "Please, Hikari, try to understand me! I really want you to be part of my life but I'm also afraid. I just don't want to lose you!"
She had stopped dead in her tracks at his words. He still clung to her hand which now hung limply by her side but she didn't turn around to face him. She could feel her eyes watering but she didn't want him to see her like that or at least not now. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence she finally whispered: "What do you mean when you say you want me to be part of your life?"
This time the blond boy remained mute for a few seconds which seemed like hours to both of them. He had spent the whole night thinking about how he should tell her about his constantly growing feelings for her. He had quickly gotten over all his doubts and what could possibly go wrong but it had taken him hours to find the right words. But right now that didn't matter anymore. It was so totally different form how he had imagined it. All his neat little speeches were forgotten and all that was left was uncertainty. No matter how mature and independent he may have acted all the time now he was just an insecure little boy who was afraid of being left behind.
Finally he began to speak in a trembling voice:
"I... I want to be with you. I don't want to be just another friend to you anymore. I want you to be mine and only mine! It took me so long to realize what I really feel for you but now that I finally understand my feelings I don't want to have to hide them.
I love you Hikari! I thought I could finally tell you, now that I have nothing left to lose but I was wrong. I'm afraid of losing you, more than ever before!" He finally let go of her hand and added in a whisper: "Just don't hate me, please."
Again the apartment was silent for a few moments. Neither of them was ready to say another word without probably breaking down. So they just remained in their former positions a little longer just thinking about what just had been said.
Hikari was the first one to move again. She slowly turned around to face him again. He also raised his head slowly and finally their eyes met both of them full of fear and a little hope. At first they just stared at each other but then Hikari tried to utter a few words but no sound left her quivering lips. Eventually she gave up and flung her arms around Yamato's neck who immediately returned the loving embrace.
No more words where exchanged this evening. They remained in almost the same position cuddled up together on the small couch and enjoying the closeness and warmth of each other until they fell asleep together.
* * *
A.N.: Sorry, for the long wait. I guess this is the last chapter. I really didn't feel like continuing this any longer and I wanted to finish one of my stories anyway.
No song this time. It's probably no big deal but I didn't know how to fit one in and I didn't know which one to use either. I just hope the end is not too disappointing. I'm not really good at writing romance. Actually I'm not good at writing at all but who cares …
Now be nice and leave a review. Please! ^__^
