Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine. Even the basic plot isn't mine. It's based of a musical titled "Mary Lou" (only in Israel ;)), with a change of some things to suit the plot and characters better.
A/N: This is an AU (Alternate Universe) story. Some characters are not where they are supposed to be or not how they're supposed to be or not in the place you're used to see them at. You'll see.
Yes, took me ages again. But my school year's coming to an end soon, meaning less pressure, meaning more time. :D
Let Go
The paper lying on the desk in front of her remained untouched. Everything she had wrote before seemed to fade.
She was confused. But she was excited. But she was confused. But she was excited. But she was…
"Hey." A voice startled her, and she dropped the card that she held so firmly in her delicate palm.
"Oh." She calmed as she saw his slightly frowning face. "Sorry."
"Did I scare you?" He asked as he passed near her, pecking her on her forehead as he did.
He places his bags in the length of his writing desk and she quickly moved to cover the paper with her forearms, at the same time as her leg traveled along the cold floor tiles, eventually sensing the card beneath her fingers, tucking it under her foot.
"I was just thinking." She replied.
He nodded. "Okay."
Her eyes darted to the dark bags he placed in front of her.
"It's too small for Pizza." She commented.
"Not when you bend it." He joked, and she only gave a small chuckle in reply.
"Chinese." He retorted, and his expression broke through its sudden freeze as he noticed the now happily surprised look on her face. "I'll go get plates." He said, heading out.
Her smile uncontrollably faded as she watched him go.
How much was she willing to let go of?
It was dark. It was night. Her time was almost over. Her vacation would end soon and she'd have to choose the direction she'd go back to – either to her past, or to her mysteriously bright-looking future.
"You said you want this! Go ahead and get this!" Her mind spoke.
She saw it through her closed eyes. She tried to fight it somehow, in her numb body.
"You can leave everything behind, you should! This is what you are."
She stirred. She was almost able to feel him placing the card in her hand. It was impossible to explain, especially since she was sleeping. But even though, it was so… real. More real than anything she ever had in a dream before.
It wasn't just real; it was too real. She felt it pressed against her skin, pushed into her flesh, persuading her to do… something.
She woke up with a start. Her eyes bolted open, staring straight at the blank ceiling. The ticking of a clock, which she had no idea where was placed, was driving her crazy.
She turned to her side. She saw him sleeping next to her.
She sighed. Gently tracing her thin finger along the outline of his face, trying not to wake him up.
His slightly moist skin felt perfect against her finger. His sweet, natural smell was intoxicating. She tried to think of the exact moment in their short time they've known each other, where she had fallen in love with him. All signs pointed to nothing. It was just… there. And again, it scared her. Its strength scared her. What it meant? It scared her. It scared her a lot. All that he, that it, made her do, or think… or not do and think…
She fought a tear that was streaming down from the corner of her eye. She draw her hand back quickly and clenched her fist, trying to protect her fingers from making contact with his skin again.
She sat up and carefully slipped out of the blanket.
A whole lot, apparently.
It was her first time out there. A porch. She liked porches. It had a roof to make it home-y, but it was freeing as any place outside was.
She held a warn cup of coffee between her cold hands. Surprisingly, the liquid hasn't been sipped from.
She stared into the darkness.
Darkness.
Thoughts were going around in her head. Thoughts she wasn't able to control. They were going by so fast that she wasn't even able to catch up with them. She always sucked when it comes to Catch.
She took a deep breath, inhaling the cold breeze that sweeped by her. Her eyes felt like they were about to finally break into tears.
He reached his hand out for her. He got used to doing it, even if he was only half-conscious. He wanted to wrap his arm around her waist, hold her close. Let his sleeping form get a reminder of her rosy scent that will inspire a sweet dream of her.
But his arms had nothing to wrap around. It hit the mattress beneath him.
His eyes opened slowly to reveal… nothing. She wasn't there.
It was late. He was able to tell. But he just got up, letting himself release a yawn, and allowed his heart to follow her traces.
"There you are."
His soft, sleepy voice sounded like a hammer as it fell on her trail of thoughts. She looked up at him. Her voice said nothing. Her eyes, on the other hand…
"I was looking all over for you." He continued, slowly moving towards her.
"I found this spot." She said quietly, and he took it with a nod.
"You like it here?" He asked, sitting next to her, against the balcony.
"It's nice." She replied, still looking into nothing. "Peaceful."
He moved his hands backwards, to support him as he sat. "It is rather quiet in here." He agreed.
Her head turned to look at him. "You come here often?" She asked, her face not even bothering to change expressions.
He sighed. "Sometimes." He replied, wishing he was wearing something other than a t-shirt to protect his arms from the cold.
She looked down at her palms, resting in her lap.
"My dad used to like it here." He said as his tone softened. His eyes saddened. She thought he looked just like a little boy who was looking into the sky, trying to look for the balloon he had let go of and lost. She was able to hear it, just from the way he talked.
She didn't look at him now. Hearing him was all that she was able to do.
She said nothing. He remained silent. She replied with silence.
She gulped hard.
"I'm leaving." She said, her voice to fragile that it broke under the mass of emotions that was flooding her.
He knew. "Your vacation is coming to an end soon." He sort of explained, and she just shook her head. It was almost unnoticeable. It was more to herself than to anyone else.
"No." She breath, "Not back home."
"Where to?" He frowned, and she shrugged.
"LA… Europe… Wherever." She replied ever so plainly.
His eyes narrowed at her. It seemed like she didn't even care.
"Why?" He asked, trying not to let too many hints of emotion slip into it.
She swallowed some spit that gathered at her throat. It felt heavy. It almost hurt.
"Because I can." She deadpanned.
And it hurt.
"Why?" He repeated. "You have life waiting for you back at home, you've got…"
"You." She completed. She was still cold. Physically, emotionally.
"Yeah." He said, hoping he broke through.
She shook her head. "I have to do this." She said. To him, to herself. "This is my future, and… it's better late than never."
"Better late than never?" His voice suddenly rose. "You… you're young! You have time to… grow and evolve and… all that other clichéd crap!" He exclaimed, his emotions getting the better but worse of him.
She shut her eyes. "You knew I was going to leave eventually." She reminded him, her eyes trying to block her from the rest of the world.
"Yeah, but you were supposed to go back to Stars Hollow! Where it only takes a drive to meet, not a…"
"I have to do this." She repeated, harsher than before, her voice now full of emotion. She sounded like she was going to cry any second now.
He didn't know what to say. She seemed too stiff to break through.
"Don't you even care about…"
"What, you?" She asked, her eyes finally welling with tears.
He replied with silence. That was his answer. He bit his lip and looked down, giving her his answer.
She rose up.
"I have to go." She said, entering the house again, leaving him to watch her, shocked and amazed. And heartbroken. And powerless.
He had no idea why.
And neither did she.
