Torn

Chapter 3: Bitter tears

Author's notes: Hey ya'll. Here's chapter 3! I've been agonizing over this chapter for nearly a month now (before I even started typing up the chapters) and I've been editing and re-editing, but it never seems just right. But I figure this is as close as it's going to get. Some things that are in this chapter won't really be used again until Lothlorien, but it's important that I have them in here now. Things start getting a little angsty in this chapter, so be warned.

Oh yeah, I love all my reviewers, and subbies! *gives cookies to previously mentioned reviewers and subbies* I hope you all are enjoying the story!

Disclaimer: Starlight, Starbright, first star I see tonight, wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. *closes eyes tightly and puts all effort into wishing* I WISH I OWNED LORD OF THE RINGS!!! *opens eyes, looks around* well I guess it's true what they say, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride (actually I never really did get that expression)!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I'm sorry

I heard about the bad news today

a crowd of people around you

telling you its okay

and everything happens for a reason

when you lose a part of yourself

to somebody you know

it takes a lot to let go

every breath that you remember

pictures fade away

but memories forever

an empty chair at all the tables

and ill be seein' you when all my days boil down

for now we'll say goodbye

you know its not the last time

I've lost the best part of my day

but its better

where you're going anyway

~"Sorry" New Found Glory

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was being led down a hospital hallway by a nurse all dressed in white. She stopped in front of a door, turned to me and said,

"Here it is. Are you ready for this?" I nodded and she opened the door. I stepped inside the room and looked around. It was all white, tiled, sterile. Nowhere anyone would want to spend a lot of time in. Then my eyes rested on a figure laying in a bed, connected to all kinds of tubes and machines.

"Tim!" I cried and hurried to the bedside.

"Kaiti!" He said weakly and tried to smile, "I've been waiting for you. I wanted to see you one last time."

"Don't talk like that! You can fight this, you're gonna pull through!" I said, grabbing his hand.

"Kaiti, I'm dieing. There's nothing anyone can do. It's over."

"No. Don't let go. It's not over yet. Just hold on."

"I HAVE been holding on. For you. I just wanted to see you again. And now that I have I can rest in peace. I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. Kaiti, you're my best friend."

"And you're mine, Timmy, which is why I can't lose you!"

"You won't lose me. I'll always be with you, as long as you remember."

"Always." I assured, giving his hand a squeeze, "But I can't say goodbye, not yet, it's to soon."

"You don't have to. Friends never say goodbye. We'll always be together in memories. The time we had was short, but if I could go back and do it all over again, I would. And you know what? I wouldn't change a thing." I held his hand tighter. I could feel him fading.

"I'm gonna miss you so much." I said through tears that were building in the corners of my eyes. But I wouldn't let them fall. I had to be strong, If not for myself, then for Tim.

"But I'll be watching you. I'll never leave you." His breaths were coming shorter now. I could tell the end was near.

"Farewell my friend."

"NO! Friends never say goodbye, remember? Promise me. Promise you'll never forget me!"

"I promise! I could never forget you! Even if I wanted to! You'll always live in my memories. I'll always hold on to you. I promise." And with that he smiled slightly and closed his eyes.I heard him let out a breath, but he never take in another. I saw the heart monitor that was seconds earlier covered in jagged mountains, become a flat line. And I felt his hand slowly become colder within mine.

"I promise.friends never say goodbye." I felt like sobbing, breaking down. But I wouldn't, I couldn't. If I let those tears fall it would finalize everything. It would mean Tim was erally gone, and never coming back. It would be.saying goodbye.

~*~

I jolted up, ripping myself from sleep, sweating, tears in my eyes.

"Is something wrong, miss?" Someone asked. I looked over and saw Legolas. He had last watch so that meant there were still a few more hours before the others would wake up.

"Nothing. Just.a bad dream."

"Come sit by me. Tell me about it." I stood up and walked slowly across the camp, careful not to wake up the others. Then I sat beside Legolas on a fallen log. "What happened in your dream. What did you see?"

"I saw.I saw my friend."

"William?"

"No. Tim. He died a little while before I came here."

"I'm very sorry." Legolas said sympathetically.

"Don't be! It wasn't your fault." I said a little more harsh than I had intended. But I had heard it all before. Words of pity from people who didn't really care.

"I did not mean to offend-" he started, but I cut him off. The last thing I wanted was an apology.

"No. I'm sorry. You didn't offend. It just still really hurts, you know?"

"Sadly I do. I have seen many of my friends grow old and pass away in my long years in Middle Earth."

"But that's just it, he didn't grow old. He never had the chance. His life was stolen from him."

"And I have seen this happen as well. My mother died naught but nearly 70 years ago."

"It has been awhile since then."

"Not when you have eternity to live with it."

"Even immortality has it's downsides." I paused, "What happened to her?"

Legolas looked down at the ground for a moment, leaving the question unanswered. A look of pain crossed his face, as if he was reliving some terrible event. I reached over and touched his arm.

"Legolas?" He looked up.

"I'm sorry. Why don't you tell me more of this dream?"

"Well, Tim was lying in a bed, just barely still alive. I sat and talked with him until the end though. Until I saw him take his last breath.I.I felt his hand lose the warmth it once had." I heard my voice get shaky. All the emotions were starting to come out. "It was like I was living it all over again, with every painful detail."

"This sounds like less of a dream, and more of a memory." Legolas observed.

"That's because that's what it is. I was there. And now that's all he is, a memory."

"Someone as young as you should not see such heartaches.

"No one should see such heartaches. He was my closest friend. And while he was lying there dieing HE was comforting ME. Do you know what he said to me right before he died?" I paused and Legolas looked into my eyes waiting for me to go on. "He said he was holding on for me, and that now that he saw me he could rest in peace. He said we would always have memories, that friends never say goodbye." I felt hot tears sting the back of my eyes. Tears I had held in for so long. Tears I had refused to cry. I turned my head up to Legolas, and there was a look in hid eyes that I haven't seen yet. It wasn't a look of sympathy or pity like I had received so many times before. It was a look of comfort and understanding.

For the first time, since the day I lost my best friend, I felt a tear slide down my cheek. Legolas reached up and gently wiped it away. But it was followed by another and another. I hid my face in my hands and wept. Suddenly Legolas pulled me into a comforting embrace. And as I sat there and cried on his shoulder, I let out all the tears I had held in. Cold, bitter tears of pain, and loss, and deep cutting sorrow. I sobbed until there were no more tears left in me to shed. Then, still breathing raggedly, I feel asleep in Legolas's strong arms.

~*~

Little did the two realize, they were being watched...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Well there you go. Chapter 3. It's so short. I'm really sorry, but the next xhapter is pretty long, so it all makes up for it. So what did you all think? Actually the dream Kaiti had in the story was based on a dream I had in real life. Of course, the dream I had was more detailed, but same basic concept.

It just occurred to me that u might not know how to say the main character's name. It's pronounced Katie, but it's spelled differently b/c that's how I spell my name. so there you go.

Note to Tim: see? I killed you pretty well right? And do you understand now how I couldn't have you confess your love to anyone? It would ruin the whole thing! I hope ur happy with how you died. Actually I don't think this will be your last appearance in this fic. Oh well, I don't care if you like it. I do.

OK now all you have to do is review!!! I won't post more until I have some reviews (flame if you really want to. You won't be wasting MY time.) still looking for an elvish translator and a fanfic layout (if you're a kiwibox reader. Actually if you make custom layouts that could work too.)

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