I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life.
Otou really hates me. I can tell.
Don't give me that look. I'm serious. My father hates me!
You would get the same impression too if your father called you a bitch!
Would you like to know why he called me a bitch?
Because. . . I left. . . a window. . . open.
My life sucks.
I assume you can guess that my writings reflect my mood, hence the reason for the violence in the previous chapter. I was angry when I wrote that. Therefore this chapter will most probably be depressing, as my current mood is depressed.
This chapter is going to be Ryou POV, just because I felt like it. So if ya don't like that, well then you're screwed aren't you?
Otogi: Wow, to think that I haven't said one word yet. . .
Oh yes, and for those of you who don't know I have switched my muse from Malik to Otogi cuz Malik wouldn't bring my caffeinated beverages to the nuthouse. Otogi on the other hand is willing to do so.
Otogi: She gives me cookies when I do ^-^
Shall now continue the story.
Otogi: If you people still think that Erato-sama owns YGO then you must be really thick.
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Huh?
Where am I? What happened?
Who am I?
I can't see anything at the moment everything's dark. Blackness.
I quickly open my eyelids as everything rushes back into my memory.
Yami. Blood. Dictionary. Pain. Shock.
Bad choice. I have a throbbing headache now.
What kind of idiot would paint their room this white? The brightness is making my headache worse.
As I look around I find the room is completely white, except for the green plants that are sitting here and there. Doesn't the lack of color bore people? I mean even the sheets and comforter on the bed are white! Carpet, curtains, dressers, picture frames, even the pots for the plants. Everything! It's almost sickening.
Though I find the lack of distractions calming.
I try to sit up only to find that my head seems to weigh ten times it's own weight as I fall back and hit the pillow. Judging from the white clock on the white nightstand it's about twelve-thirty. Wow, I've surprised myself! I never sleep in this late!
I'm wondering what I should do when the door opens.
"Oh good you're awake," Katawasai says, not bothering to hide the relief in her voice, as she enters the room with a tray of what looks like tea, water, and painkillers.
I groan, "What happened?" I asked.
"That's what I'd like to know. All I know is that you were covered in blood when I found you, and you've been unconscious ever since."
"And how long would that be?" I inquiry.
"Three days."
I groan again and try to sit up, but my muscles rebel to this command about half way through the action and I fall against the pillows again.
"Headache?"
"Hai. . ." I mumble.
"Take these," She says as she hands me two little pills and a glass of water. I take the pills, place them in my mouth, and lift my head to just barely take a drink of water.
"Lucky for you I have strange instincts," she tells me, "I was about to go to bed that night when I felt something was wrong. So I checked the entire house and then looked outside. Had I waited and found you in the morning you might have bled to death."
"Death might have been less painful," I reply bitterly.
"Pain is temporary," She tells me.
"That doesn't mean I enjoy it," I retort.
"It doesn't mean you should," She told me. "So would you care to tell me how you ended up unconscious on my door step at one in the morning?" She asks, pulling up a chair and sitting down next to me.
I groaned again, trying to sit up and this time actually succeeding.
Before I start talking I fix Katawasai-sensei with a God-intimidating glare. Or what I hope is a God-intimidating glare. My glares are always so pathetic.
Hey lookit! So am I! Wow doesn't that just surprise you all so much?
Old news for me, what about you?
Oh, wow, that's new news to you? Really? You really didn't know that?
You seriously need to get up to date with current events.
Hey look! So do I!
. . . Let's not go there.
I'm about to start telling her the whole story when I feel a familiar tickle in the back of my throat and a familiar warm taste in my mouth.
A few seconds later I'm coughing like I just inhaled sand through my mouth. When my coughing fit has finally ceased I realize there's a small dribble of blood on my hands.
"You must have been injured pretty badly if you're still coughing up blood," Katawasai tells me as she hands me a handkerchief. (Oh wow! It's white too! What a shock!)
I laugh bitterly, " 'Injured' is an understatement," I inform her, "try 'maimed' or 'mutilated', those might fit better."
"I'm not really interested in what the correct term is," I am told, "I'm more interested in how you got 'maimed'."
I sigh, getting the idea I start talking.
"I guess you could say that the reason I had the crap beat out of me was that you went and talked to Yami." I tell her.
"I didn't exactly do it on purpose," She interrupts, "I thought it was you. How was I suppose to know that your Yami wandered around freely during the daytime?"{A}
"Dr. Katawasai, do you wish to know how I was abused or not?" I ask somewhat annoyed. {B}
"Gomen," she replies sheepishly.
"Anyway, Yami wasn't happy when he found out what I had been talking to you about," I told her, "So he punished me. Need I say more?"
Katawasai buried her face in her hands, she was either crying or just stressed out. I couldn't tell.
A few moments passed in silence before she spoke.
"Don't you have anyone to help you?" She asked me as she looked back up, "your parents, don't they do anything about it?"
"My mother's dead and my father. . . well he isn't home that much. He's so busy that he only has enough time to order other to people help me. That way he doesn't have to. It would be nice to have someone who actually cared though. "
"What about your friends? Do they know?" She asked me. Sheesh, what is she doing? Writing a book on my life? Wouldn't be very interesting if she was though. The Sad and Pathetic Life of Ryou Bakura. What a cheerful title, don't you agree? You wouldn't be able to finish though; you'd either fall asleep from boredom, or start crying hysterically from depression.
"I don't have many friends, and the friends I do have are pretty much preoccupied with other things," I told her simply.
"What kind of 'other things'?" She inquired.
Oh just the normal everyday stuff, you know trying to stop some maniac from getting the power of the Sennen Puzzle, dueling, keeping the world from ending up in chaos. You know. The usual.
I shifted uncomfortably. "Just stuff," I answered.
"So, you're pretty much alone aren't you?" She asked me somewhat sorrowfully.
"Well. . . yeah." I don't see what the big deal is though. I mean I've been alone for most of my life. I'm used to it. Gives me time to thinks. Though sometimes the silence is too loud and I just can't stand it. When that happens I either start tugging on random strands of my hair or chuck something at the wall.
***Random Person: Bakura, what would you say your social life is like?
Bakura: Er, define social please.***
Yup, that's how anti-social I am.
I'm always the forgotten one when it comes to my friends, either that or they don't want to be around me because of mou hitori no boku. I don't blame them; I mean who would want to hang around a crazed, bloodthirsty maniac?
. . . me. . . well then again, I don't really have a choice.
"Bakura would you like to hear a story?" She asks me suddenly.
I blink. Wow, what a change in conversation. One minute she's talking about how my life is so lonely and depressing and now she wants to tell me a bedtime story! Well it can't exactly be a bedtime story if it in the middle of the day can it?
Slowly I nod my head. Still very confused.
"There once was a young woman," she started, "she was very beautiful. She had dark black hair, delicate pale skin, eyes the color of ice, a thin frail body, long slender fingers, and a kind face. Her name was Glasere. Glasere was a wonderful person, but she was frightened by almost everything."{C}
"Why?" I interrupted. I was paying attention like a small child being told an exciting story. I can't say this story is exciting thus far, but it interests me. I mean, is it possible to be afraid of everything?
"Glasere experienced some. . .horrific events that traumatized her, so she's been protecting herself by being suspicious of everything, but at the same time terrified that the same thing will happen to her." Katawasai told me.
"What traumatized her? What happened?" I asked eagerly. Hey, call me a sadist but I find I like to hear about bad stuff happening to other people. Makes me feel less tormented.
Katawasai hesitated, trying to decide whether or not to tell me.
"Her mother was killed right before her eyes by her uncle, and then her father went insane from her mother's death," I was informed. I gaped at her; Glasere's mother was murdered before her eyes? That's horrible! Sure I know what it feels like to lose a parent, but to have your parent killed before your eyes? The person who did that was just plain sick.
"She stayed away from people, away from everything. She bought a house in the country and lived alone. Isolated. She never went to work, never left her house; she never did anything because she was drowning in fear. Glasere was too afraid to make any friends, to talk to anyone, to get close to someone," Katawasai said mournfully, "Eventually she committed suicide because she couldn't live in her paranoia. She couldn't handle the feeling she always had, the feeling that something was going to happen to her, the feeling that someone was out to get her."
"Was someone out to get her?" I asked curiously. Katawasai paused for a moment, thinking.
"Yes." She said finally, "Her own self was out to get her. Because she was always worried that someone else would get her she forgot to be aware of her emotional state. So, she got herself."
"But everyday I wonder that maybe things would have been different if Glasere had someone to talk to, someone to ease the pain," she said as tears start trickling down her face.
At that point a thought struck me, "Did. . . did you know Glasere?" I asked. "Did you know her personally? Was she one of your patients or something?"
"Yes, I knew Glasere. She wasn't one of my patients though," I am informed, "She was my cousin."
My eyes widened, "So does that mean - "
"My own father killed my aunt." She finished for me.
I sat there in an awed silence. "But. . . why?" I asked.
"I'm not exactly sure why. I was around five at the time so I don't remember much. I think it was because he had a second life. One he knew my mother wouldn't approve of. My aunt found out one night and started threatening to tell my mother if he didn't stop. Needless to say my father had some issues of his own," She said.
"Why are you telling me all of this?" I asked confused, "Why do I need to know?"
"I don't want you to end up like Glasere. I don't want you to end up dying alone. I don't want you to live a half-life. I want to help you." She said.
"How?" I asked perplexed, "How can you help me? What comfort can you offer?"
"I can be your friend. I can be your personal doctor, for physical and emotional health. Whenever you can't handle something, or you need to rant you can come to me. Anytime. Day or night," She told me, "I can care for you."
I can care for you.
That would be nice, someone who could care for me, someone who could ease the pain for me, someone who could help me, and most importantly someone who would give me company. I wouldn't be alone anymore; I would have someone to talk to at anytime.
I nodded slowly, "I would like that," I told her.
"It's settled then," she said softly.
That was almost a year ago. Akiko Katawasai still helps me but I have learned to deal with a lot of stuff on my own. Mou hitori no boku isn't as abusive now, he knows that the pain doesn't hurt so much anymore because someone is there for me. I am able to make more friends and get to know people more without worrying what will happen if Yami takes over.
"I can care for you." To this day those words still echo in my mind and I try to do the same for others.
I finally know where I belong. I finally know who I am. I have finally found myself.
***END***
;_; A happy ending, don't you agree Otogi?
Otogi: Very much so!
Arigato Reviewers! Without you I would have lost the will to write!
Kuroi Karasu – O.O NO! NOT THE ALGEBRA QUESTIONS! I DON'T NEED MATH OVER MY SUMMER VACATION! GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!!!!
Saurons Twin Sister - ^^ Thanks! I luv Ryou and Bakura too! I'm not sure who I love more though – Ryou and Bakura or Otogi! Lol
Sora The Saria – Yeah, I went into denial and gave all reviewers the benefit of the doubt ^^. Heh heh, yeah I can make people do whatever I want! I just have to put what I want them to do in my stories, and then they'll do it! Mwhahahaa! {Otogi: So does that mean you want people to try and kill off Ryou?} . . . shut up. . .
Elle-FaTe2x1 - ::beams:: Thank you. Sorry to hear about your finger. I broke my pinky finger once. . . couldn't type for a loooooong time.
Thank you again reviewers!
Explanations-
{A} – Yeah, a psychologist probably wouldn't say anything like that but what can I say? I was partially angry when I wrote this ^^;;
{B} – Heh, I finally got annoyed with all the "-sensei" and "-san" things so I gave myself a break and put in "Dr." instead ^^
{C} – For those of you who don't know "Glasere" is Norwegian for "ice".
And I say farewell to this story, it was fun to write, but fear not! For I am writing another YGO fic that involves Bakura! (Ish called "Younen" go check it out!)
For more information on where I get the inner turmoil for my stories check out my online journal at: ^^ yes I am advertising ^^ The link is also in my profile ::hint hint:: ::wink wink:: ::nudge nudge:: ^_________^
Thank you all for your support! I appreciate it!
