Disclaimer: Before the fun begins, let me say one thing: I DO NOT OWN!!! HAPPY???

I am only going to say this once: The pairing may not appeal to you, but it fits this story line, so deal with it. Further more, you might not like my casting. I am sorry you do not. It fits, and if you dislike this story, flame me. Thanks!

Another note: This is in today's English, so we can read this easier. This is, after all, a story of the play based on how I want it acted out. I do put in some of the original lines simply because they are priceless, so struggle through them, but I will make sure they aren't too hard.

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM

Miroku: HELP US!!

Sango: She's making us play out A Midsummer Night's Dream!!! ARGH!!! I HAVE TO BE HIS WIFE!!

Me: It's not too bad. You're angry at him for almost all of the play. And you sleep a whole lot. You've got it good!

Sango: Hey, you cannot say that! I have to act like I like Kouga!

Kouga: I wanted to play Lysander!

Me: You're not.

Inuyasha: Are. you. crazy... I WILL NOT PLAY THIS PART!!!

Kikyo: WHY AM I A POOR PITIFUL FOOL????

Sesshoumaru: You have got to be kidding me. I am not playing Demetrius.

Me: SHUT UP!! My casting is final.

Kagura: I am not playing Hippolyta.

Me: (Shoots her The Look) You are.

Naraku: I have to play Theseus? I am not a good, just, kind leader like that guy!

Shippou: Ah, stop complaining! This isn't so bad.

Sango: Like you can talk. You have a character that fits you.

Miroku: Yeah, and he's the main character.

Shippou: Hey, I can't help it if the authoress likes me. Besides, I like my part.

Me: Good, now that this is all settled, let's practice, huh????

Group: NO!! WE STILL WANT TO COMPLAIN!!!

Kagome: Yeah, well, you all don't have to kiss Inuyasha!!

Group: (stunned silence)

Me: If you don't want to, you don't have to. We can arrange a stage kiss.

Kagome: (Blush) Well, I don't want to make it hard for the rest of you...

Me: Sure... I understand. (Winks obviously at her) We'll talk about it.

Kagome: (Furious look) SIT GIRL!!

Inuyasha: *WUMP!!!* WENCH!!!!

Kagome: (Blush) Sorry... I forgot. (Blinks) Wait a moment. WENCH?? OSUWARI!

Inuyasha: *WUMP* (Says words not understood to audience)

My job is done with these guys.

"If you will laugh yourself into stitches, follow me!" ~Shakespeare, Twelfth Night

Enjoy the story.

ACT I, SCENE i: The Clearing

________________________________

A garden surrounded the duke's mansion. Well, it really did not surround it, but it took up a good amount of the duke's private lands. This same garden was called The Duke's garden, even though the majority of the garden was public. In the garden there was a large clearing in which the Duke, Lord Naraku, often heard complaints of the people of Athens. This clearing was beautiful, carpeted in flowers and surrounded by tall trees. A path ran through the clearing. A fountain was to one side of the clearing; opposite it was a stone figure of Blind Cupid.

There was the sound of many voices suddenly and the Duke himself, Lord Naraku, and his train of servants. When the duke was younger, he had been the heartthrob of the younger women of Athens, for dark hair that hung long, straight and glossy was uncommon and loved back then. He had once had a refined face, but age had made it thin. Though he was still young in many standards, battle scars and wars had taken their toll, making him look old.

But there was some one else within the group. A young woman, also battle scarred, walked with him. She walked far enough from other people to show that she was independent, but close enough to the Duke to show she was his. Her battle scars, unlike the Duke's, only made her look ferocious, and yet, strangely alluring and entrancing. She walked with a grace obtained from many one-on-one dances, battles, fights. She was the Amazon Queen.

Upon recognizing the clearing, the Duke sent his servants away on petty errands, except for one. This one was called Jaken and was the leader of the Duke's train. He was a small, toad-like man, but he kept everything running smoothly. When it was just the Duke and the Amazon Queen, the Duke turned to the Queen to speak.

"Ah, Kagura, my lovely bride," the Duke exclaimed. The queen shot him a look that could have curled cheese. Naraku did not notice it. "Four days, and we shall be wed! Oh, but how slow these days pass!"

The queen glared at him and turned partially away. "Believe me, Milord," she stated coldly. "These four days will pass soon enough." The duke appeared to be miffed by her cold tone. Annoyed, he spun on his lead servant.

"Go, Jaken!" he commanded. "Stir up the Athenian youth to merriment! Let there be celebrations!" Jaken stared at him for a moment before he trotted to fulfill his lord's commands. Once he was gone, Naraku approached Kagura lovingly. "Oh, Kagura, I wooed you with my sword and won your love giving you injuries." Kagura stiffened and turned, a skeptical eyebrow raised, her eyes burning with rage. The duke swallowed, but bravely went on. "But I shall wed you with joy!" Kagura opened her mouth to respond when there was a sound of arguing from up the path. "Hush now, my dear! Someone comes!" Mentally, Naraku made a note to be kind to those who had interrupted her.

It was not one someone. It was four: three men and one young woman. The woman had latched herself onto the youngest of the men and he onto her, and no amount of scolding or pulling from the other older men could separate them. Finally, the older of the two men turned to Naraku and bowed, remembering to nod to the Duchess-to-be.

"Happy be Naraku, our Duke!" the man cried.

"Thanks good Myouga. What can I do for you?" Naraku asked, casting a doubtful eye on the couple. "Pry the young ones apart? Has a glue connected them?'

"Yes!" Myouga screamed, venting out bottled frustration. "I come with a complaint against my daughter, Kagome!" The girl cowered deeper into the man's embrace and the man frowned deeply, tightening his grip on her. "Step forward, Sesshoumaru." The young man that had been attempting to help Myouga pull them apart stepped forward. "Sesshoumaru has my consent to marry my daughter. Step forward Inuyasha." The man with the girl wrapped around him did not step forward, but he straightened his back to make it clear who was who. "You!" Myouga burst out. "You have stolen my daughter's heart and her obedience, which is due to me. And Lord," Myouga continued, turning to Naraku, "if you does not consent to marry Sesshoumaru here, in this clearing, I beg the right of Athens, to dispose of her to Sesshoumaru or her death!"

Inuyasha clutched the girl even tighter to him and Kagome turned her face from her father. There was a tense moment as Naraku debated his choices. He could command her to marry this man; he could call for a man to strike her down that instant. But all thoughts were put away when he glanced at Kagura. What was that in her eyes? Empathy? Grief? And somehow, he knew that either of those choices would not win her over. Besides, he had promised to be merciful to those who came in because of breaking up their beginning debate. Naraku took in a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh.

"What do you think, young Kagome?" he asked, surprised his voice sounded tender to his ears. "Remember," he added warningly, "he is your father, and is to be obeyed. Sesshoumaru is a worthy man."

There was a muffled answer from her mouth, which happened to buried in Inuyasha's chest, but Naraku caught it. "So is Inuyasha."

Naraku felt his patience wearing away. He sighed. "Yes," he said snappishly, "but Sesshoumaru has your father's approval and then must be held better than all others."

Kagome turned her face to him, but her eyes were still downcast. "I wish my father looked with my eyes."

"Rather, you must look with his judgement," Naraku said, his voice soft and guiding, not reprimanding, which surprised him. Suddenly, Kagome lifted her eyes and looked Naraku directly in the eye. This too surprised him.

"Please, Your Grace, pardon me. I don't know why I am so bold, but tell me what is the worst that will happen to me if I refuse to marry Sesshoumaru today," the girl said, her voice quivering.

"Death, or a nunnery, to never know the society of man," Naraku said. Both prospects scared her, he could tell. Her face paled. "Therefore, examine yourself. Can you endure the life of a nun?" He slowly made his way down to her and gently took her arms from Inuyasha, who scowled horribly. Obscurely, he turned her to face Sesshoumaru, whose face lit up at this sight. "But you will be happier in this life with Sesshoumaru than growing, living and dying free- and alone." Slowly, Sesshoumaru approached Kagome, his arms wide for an embrace. Inuyasha made a small choking sound and Kagome frowned, marring her pretty features. She pushed Sesshoumaru away and turned on Naraku.

"So will I grow, so live, so die, my lord, before I will give up my virginity to a man I do not love!" Kagome cried, retreating to the comforting embrace of Inuyasha. Naraku sighed again and returned to his original place.

"Then, so be it. Take time to think, and in four days, on the day that me and my love," Naraku paused to glance lovingly at Kagura. She returned it with a glance that would have froze ice and he averted his gaze. "Uh, the day that the queen and I marry, be ready to die, to give yourself to Diana, or to give yourself to Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru finally moved to speak. "Please, sweet Kagome, don't do this. And Inuyasha, give it up!" A touch of disgust filled his voice as he spoke his rival's name. Inuyasha chuckled in response and turned dancing eyes on him.

"Her father loves you; Kagome loves me. Let me marry Kagome, and you can marry her father!" Inuyasha muttered, absently stroking Kagome's hair as she chuckled into his chest. Naraku was shocked to notice that his Duchess was laughing aloud.

"Scornful Inuyasha, true, I love him, and what I own my love will give him. As Kagome is mine, I will give her to him!" Myouga snapped, his small, round face growing red in anger. Inuyasha scoffed and turned to the Duke.

"Lord Naraku, I have as good a line as Sesshoumaru and I am as rich as he is. I am younger and can give more love than he, and, which is more than all this combined, Kagome loves me," Inuyasha listed, his voice now clear and resonating. When he saw that he was making no headway, he spun on Sesshoumaru. "Sesshoumaru! I am certain of it! He pronounced his love to Yori's daughter, Kikyo, and he won her heart. And now, she dotes upon him, dotes in idolatry upon this spotted and inconstant man!" Myouga's eyes snapped wide at this declaration and turned accusingly to Sesshoumaru. Naraku only nodded.

"I heard that. I meant to speak to him about it, but I forgot," Naraku said sheepishly. "Sesshoumaru, Myouga, I have some things to talk to you about. Come with me. And, Kagura, come. What cheer my love?" Kagura shot him a glare that, if possible, would have vaporized air and froze stone. Naraku turned away from her and coughed nervously. His eyes landed on Kagome, still encompassed in Inuyasha's arms. He raised his pointer finger to get her attention. "Remember, fair Kagome, four days, and then you shall decide." With that, Lord Naraku, his train, Queen Kagura of the Amazons, Myouga, and Sesshoumaru left the clearing, leaving the lovers alone.

Sesshoumaru, as he left, threw a parting remark about Inuyasha's family line and Inuyasha turned away from his precious love to return blow for blow. Even so, he soon returned to find Kagome pale, her body slack and sad. He blinked wildly before he touched her shoulders lovingly.

"What is this, my love? Why is your cheek so pale? How did the roses there fade so fast?" he asked gently, his voice soothing and as warm as his embrace. Kagome took in a shuddering breath and looked up at him, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Probably for want of rain, which I could very well give them from the shower of my eyes," she sobbed, falling into his comforting embrace. His own eyes glistened from his own tears and he buried his face in her hair.

"Ay me! In all that I could read or hear in tale or history, the course of true love never did run smooth," Inuyasha murmured before he pushed her to an arm's distance.

"He's too old to be engaged to one so young," Kagome muttered angrily. Inuyasha laughed half-heartedly and kissed her lightly. "But, I suppose this is an ordinary occurrence, so let us be patient." Inuyasha smiled.

"Right, so hear me, Kagome. I have a widow aunt, a rich one, and she thinks of me as her only son. She lives seven leagues from Athens. The Athenian law cannot follow us there, and we can be wed. If you love me, come to the clearing we met in many times when the moon rises. There I will wait to steal away with you." Kagome's sad look disappeared.

"Inuyasha, I swear to you by all the vows that ever men have broke, which number more than ever women spoke," she paused as Inuyasha gave her a teasingly offended look and she nuzzled her nose against his. "In that clearing you spoke, I will be there." Inuyasha smiled lovingly at her. Kagome lowered her voice to a whisper. "I promise."

Inuyasha gently brought her mouth within range. "Keep promise, my love." Suddenly, he saw a form coming down the path and jumped back. "Look, here comes Kikyo." Almost in revenge for not finishing the kiss, Kagome leaned into him teasingly.

"Speed to you, fair Kikyo," she called. "Where are you going?" Kikyo, who had been wandering aimlessly, started to hear her name.

"Did you call me fair?" Kikyo asked, her mind not quite on this sudden conversation. "Sesshoumaru loves your fair. This time of year, sickness is catching." Suddenly, Kikyo was ecstatic and on her knees before Kagome. "I wish I could catch your sickness! Teach me how you sway Sesshoumaru's heart." Kagome got over her surprise quickly and straightened herself.

"I frown at him and he loves me," Kagome started.

"I wish my smiles were that strong!" Kikyo interjected.

"I curse him and he still loves me."

"Oh, that my pleas could get so much love!"

"I hate him, and he follows me."

"The more I love, the more he hates me," Kikyo murmured sadly. Kagome smiled at her childhood friend and patted her shoulder gently.

"His mistake, dear Kikyo, is not my fault."

"No fault except for your beauty. I wish I had that fault!"

Kagome looked at Inuyasha, her eyes bright with an idea. Reluctantly, he nodded. "Take comfort!" Kagome hissed quietly. "He won't see me again." Her voice filled with joy at the thought. "Inuyasha and I will leave Athens. Before I met Inuyasha, Athens seemed to be a paradise. What a wonderful man Inuyasha is that he has turned a heaven into a hell!" Inuyasha, flying high with this compliment, wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Tomorrow night, when the moon has risen, a time when lovers' flights are hidden, we will leave Athens," Inuyasha continued.

"And in that wood where we spent time as children, we will meet and then leave. Farewell, my friend, and may Fate grant you your Sesshoumaru. Keep your promise, love. We must starve our eyes of each other's sight until later, sweet friend," Kagome said. Inuyasha kissed her gently and pulled away, only to go back in for another, deeper kiss.

"Mm, I will," he kissed her again. "My Kagome." Kikyo crossed her arms over her chest and looked more offended as they kissed yet again. Finally, they pulled away and Kagome left. "Kikyo adieu. As you do on him, Sesshoumaru dote on you." With that, Inuyasha trotted down the opposite path, leaving Kikyo alone in the clearing.

"Oh, how happy others can be! Throughout Athens, I am thought as fair as she. Who cares? Sesshoumaru doesn't think so. Love doesn't look with the eyes, but with the heart. That's why Cupid is made blind. Love also has no judgement, which is why love is a child," Kikyo murmured, running a hand over the stone figure of Blind Cupid. "Before Sesshoumaru saw Kagome, he declared he was only mine, and I was only his. But the minute he saw her, it was all gone." Kikyo wandered over to the fountain and ran her fingers through the water deep in thought.

Suddenly, she looked up, her eyes wide with a thought. "I will tell Sesshoumaru of their elopement. If I can get a kind word from him, it is enough for what I will pay! It will be little for his gratitude."

With this declaration, she trotted off along the path Kagome had taken, leaving the clearing in The Duke's garden empty.

______________________________

Number one: To dote upon someone is to be servant-like, to serve because of love or something like that.

Number two: Next chapter will be short because I am going to go by scenes.

So, like it? Hate it? Tell me what you think! I am not going to continue until I gotten a nice amount of reviews. (For me, that's like, three.)

So, thanks for paying attention to me and managing to make it all the way through this poor demented fic. Don't mind the stuff at the top either. It was something I made to start the silliness. Believe me, this gets funnier. Imagine Kouga with a donkey head.

Yeah, it's gonna get good!

SO REVIEW!!

~ Kay Kylo